Leo guy has confused me... Help please

Hi everyone.

Well I met a leo guy at work a few months ago and I was instantly attracted to him but at the time he had a girlfriend.

He was together with his girlfriend for 2 months before she split up with him. I was there for him as a close friend to speak too and offer him advice. A week or so after the split he asked if we could meet as friends for a drink and see how things go as he did really like me. At first I said we are friends, obviously work together and he had only just came out of a relationship so I didn't think it was a good idea but he constantly asked me, told me how beautiful I was and he really wanted to take me out so I did. We always get on so well and constantly make each other laugh. He said he had fallen for me a week ago and that he loves me!

Well a few days ago he was texting me and everything was fine - saying how he wanted to spend a day with me etc and then a few hours after he said "I think we should be mates and maybe we can be together in the future". We were only together for about a month BUT I am obviously so confused because all he did was pay me compliments, buy me gifts, want to spend time with me as much as he could etc and now it seems he is avoiding me at work and I haven't done anything wrong that I can think of? I did start to really like this guy so much because of how he made me feel and now I just feel stupid and like everything he said to me was not true 😢. I really do want to be with this guy but I don't understand why he is being so distant from me now after everything.

I always felt like there was something there between us even when he was with his girlfriend but obviously we never did anything about it until after they split. I just don't get how he can be so hot and cold with me! I sent him a nice text the other say just saying I'm here for him if he ever wants to talk etc and he never replied back at all. So confused.

it could be a lot of things. he could be hung up on the ex or she could be back around. he could have realized that your not the one after spending time with you. also he came on really strong at first telling you he loved you. coming on so strong that fast can also fizzle just as fast. Ultimately yes we want answers when things change but you might not get the answer. you do know however something has changed and at that point you lean completely back and do nothing because you push you'll come across as needy. let him come to you.

Thanks for the reply. It's just a bit more difficult because we work together and that's why at first I mentioned that to him but he made me feel so special and he wanted a future with me, I jus went with it and it was really nice. Like you say I may never get the explanation I want but if I do want him back am I best just being ok with him at work and just see what happens in the future or backing away and try and have as little contact as I can? Thank you

Posted by capgirl88
Thanks for the reply. It's just a bit more difficult because we work together and that's why at first I mentioned that to him but he made me feel so special and he wanted a future with me, I jus went with it and it was really nice. Like you say I may never get the explanation I want but if I do want him back am I best just being ok with him at work and just see what happens in the future or backing away and try and have as little contact as I can? Thank you

ha! i"m in a "situation" at work and i KNEW i shouldn't do it because if it didn't work out all the weirdness at work. trust me i FEEL your pain! When someone tells you they love you and showers you with attention, you just want more and more it is so intoxicating and wonderful you never want it to end! i know this!! I would just act completely natural if AT ALL possible i know its hard when emotions are involved but try not to avoid. If he truly "loves you" then be wont let you go. But in this case the best thing is to chill. i know how hard it is though because he made you feel so good and then backed off and it feels like someone throws you on the ground and you land with a thud and your going wtf? trust me i know. just try to relax and go about your business as much as you are hurting inside and if he comes around again then you can probably get some clarification

I know! I just wanted us to be friends so this didn't happen but like I said he made me feel so special and loved and I haven't been in a relationship for over a year and a half - it just felt right. My ex really hurt me so I didn't throw myself at this guy because I have a guard up so I don't know if that put him off me as well.

He has some of my stuff at this house - should I ask for this back yet or leave it a bit? I would like it back and would have thought if he doesn't want to be with me he would have bought this to work to give to me or mentioned it? It's nothing I do need right away so not sure what to do abit that either.

Posted by capgirl88
I know! I just wanted us to be friends so this didn't happen but like I said he made me feel so special and loved and I haven't been in a relationship for over a year and a half - it just felt right. My ex really hurt me so I didn't throw myself at this guy because I have a guard up so I don't know if that put him off me as well.

He has some of my stuff at this house - should I ask for this back yet or leave it a bit? I would like it back and would have thought if he doesn't want to be with me he would have bought this to work to give to me or mentioned it? It's nothing I do need right away so not sure what to do abit that either.

i know! it "feels" so so so good. its intoxicating like a drug. nothing is better. it's pure heaven.

@stuff don't do anything right now. give it a little time so you can get clearer picture of whats going on.

I am sorry to hear that! Sometimes Leo men can be extremely indecisive! They let their emotions take over their logical state of mind. He may not be ready to commit into another relationship... which is strange because most Leo men I know ALWAYS feel the need to be romantically involved with someone. If he was that honest with you and told you he wanted to be friends, then take him up on that offer. Show him what he's missing. Keep it casual, be cool, and be his friend. He clearly isn't ready and at least had the decency to let you know! Most guys just give girls the cold shoulder. Give him his space, and if he gives you contact whether its a text or sometime at work just be cool. Guys like women who have it together and they know they can't get. Play hard to get and do your own thing if he wants you again GREAT if not OH WELL there's plenty of men out there who would appreciate you xx

Posted by xxbrittxxtay
I am sorry to hear that! Sometimes Leo men can be extremely indecisive! They let their emotions take over their logical state of mind. He may not be ready to commit into another relationship... which is strange because most Leo men I know ALWAYS feel the need to be romantically involved with someone. If he was that honest with you and told you he wanted to be friends, then take him up on that offer. Show him what he's missing. Keep it casual, be cool, and be his friend. He clearly isn't ready and at least had the decency to let you know! Most guys just give girls the cold shoulder. Give him his space, and if he gives you contact whether its a text or sometime at work just be cool. Guys like women who have it together and they know they can't get. Play hard to get and do your own thing if he wants you again GREAT if not OH WELL there's plenty of men out there who would appreciate you xx

Thanks Brit! It's just strange going from the feeling of being the best thing in his life and him wanting to have a future with me and then to go to friends. I am being ok with him although I did cry a couple of times after it happened so I don't know if that has made me look weak to him. I'm just tired of not having someone who actually wants to stay in my life as my partner. I thought he was different and we said we wanted the same things. I'm not going to rush into anything new at the moment but just don't understand him. X

Whatever you do, do not cry or show that you are upset. Be strong and pretend not bothered by the situation. Cry when your at home and no ones around haha as long as he does not know you are crying! Then you might appear weak or "clingy" I know that sounds kind of silly but guys think wow she's already crying over me, I can get this girl when ever I want. Every man wants what they can't have just play hard to get and do your own thing, that's attractive to anyone 🙂 Go do something like shopping, buy some new work clothes, get your hair done, get that self esteem back up and attract a new guy! Forget him, he is clearly confused. And when he ready you'll be onto the next! xx

Ok so I've asked this leo guy to meet up so we can clear the air. He has contacted me and said "yes sounds good - we can go for coffee or something". I still want to be with him and I don't want to mess this meet up. Now I've texted him that I want to clear the air - does this sound like I want to be friends or can this talk mean getting back together? Just not sure how he has taken it. Also, has anyone got any tips on what I can say to not mess this meet up? Thanks!

Leo men are some of the classest, most loyal, romantic, and faithful men. Cap women are strong-the leo wants to be king-just relax and let him lead. They are well worth it 🙂

Men (not just my favourite, Leo's) love differently from us. They go in hard because of their visual desires (and it sounds like you're quite beautiful if he was saying I love you so soon or he was deeply hurt and you turned up at a great time where he felt emotional moved and it wasn't just your exterior). Either way it's a red flag and whenever men do this, just back off a bit.

Now that you've passed this, I'm assuming you're somewhere in the 3-4 month stage when you've shown either verbally or physically he has hooked you in. It's only now a man will decide if he wants you (once they know it's reciprical). This is why playing hard to get doesn't work. It's best to share you like a man early so he can decide if he wants to pursue the relationship earlier on. Waiting too long to express your attachment to him makes his decision bare harder on your heart as time makes us feel more towards someone. It's all in Christian Carters book - happy to email it to you if anyone wants it.

While he is in this stage, stay EXACTLY as you were before he started to distance himself. Be chirpy, happy, elated etc. Do not let him see that you NEED him as this freaks many men away. Just be the happy version of you. If you remain calm, he will likely return.

Now that you've decided to have this chat, just make it light hearted and ask a few questions for your hearts sake but please make sure you end it on a fun note. Dont let your emotions make this drama. He feels emotions ten fold to you and it cuts at his core. It's a scary feeling for men so they teach themselves to withdraw and that will work against your desires.

Keep me posted on how your conversation with him went.