Leo sun/Scorp moon blowing hot and cold

I (Libra sun/Sag moon) have been seeing this guy for a month. He initially pursued me for three months prior to our getting together, but I was involved with someone else at that time. For the past month, he has been texting and contacting me a lot (even when his parents were in town), but all of a sudden, he is silent.
Granted, he comes from a Scandinavian country and told me that he doesn't like to communicate all the time. Still, his hot and cold behavior is strange. He did it last month too and I left it alone, but he initiated contact after 5 days and the cycle began again.

What should I do? Should I just tell him that I don't feel he is really into me (when he eventually decides to text) and break up or give it more time? Is this typical of Leo/Scorp?

There is something you can say to him and I'll get that part later but first I need to know.

Are you in a real relationship?

Meaning have you both verbally communicated what you want from one another as in a committed monogamous relationship, it's an important piece of information.

If you're committed to one another, monogamous, in a long term relationship then there is something you must communicate in a calm non-dramatic way.

If he's just a guy that you have no real title with, no real commitment with, I'd say leave it alone, go find something else to do, meet other men, communicate with with other guys and lean on your friends and family for emotional support and you won't feel his absence too much.

Overall don't make his absence about you. Don't take it personal. Some men really don't know /are not aware that their distance is hurting a woman.

Some men can only take so much connection (which may make you feel good to you) but has the opposite effect on him, he may feel bad/suffocated by being in constant contact with you and need some room to breathe and do his own thing, do the things that make him feel good, once he's done having his "space" he'll feel able to connect with you again while he's feeling balanced and secure.

Posted by tiki33
There is something you can say to him and I'll get that part later but first I need to know.

Are you in a real relationship? [/quote]

It has barely been a month so no, we are not. We are still dating.

[quote]
Meaning have you both verbally communicated what you want from one another as in a committed monogamous relationship, it's an important piece of information. [/quote]

No. I think about now is the right time to bring that up.

[quote]
If he's just a guy that you have no real title with, no real commitment with, I'd say leave it alone, go find something else to do, meet other men, communicate with with other guys and lean on your friends and family for emotional support and you won't feel his absence too much. [/quote]

I was thinking of telling him something like "I don't feel like you are really that into me. I desire a good deal of communication from a man and I don't feel like we are communicating enough."

[quote]
Overall don't make his absence about you. Don't take it personal. Some men really don't know /are not aware that their distance is hurting a woman. [/quote]

He said that he doesn't alter his routines and works many hours. However, sending a message once in a while during the day has no bearing on the hours he works.

[quote]
Some men can only take so much connection (which may make you feel good to you) but has the opposite effect on him, he may feel bad/suffocated by being in constant contact with you and need some room to breathe and do his own thing, do the things that make him feel good, once he's done having his "space" he'll feel able to connect with you again while he's feeling balanced and secure.

[/quote]

To be fair, it has only been two days since we talked and saw each other, but I see this as a pattern with him. Something else that is interesting is that before we became involved, he "liked" a lot of my FB pics; now he hardly "likes" any of them.

It does not appear that you 2 are in a real committed monogamous relationship, I gather this is true because you did not answer my questions regarding the status of your relationship with him.

If you're just dating, having fun communicating, and enjoying and exploring one another then he's not doing anything wrong plus he stated to you early on that he did not like to communicate all the time so of course he's going to be sporadic with his communication pattern.

I don't think it's about him losing attraction for you. It's more about what he's stated to you early on regarding his communication style. Just believe him when he says he does not like to communicate all the time instead of making things up in your head about why he's not communicating the way YOU want him to, accept you won't hear from him as much as you'd like to.

Everything is fine. He's not communicating more because he does not like to communicate thus if he does not like to communicate he will not be available and he won't pursue you online by liking your pictures because liking your pictures is a different form of communication.

If you don't like how his lack of communication affects you then you have every right to leave him alone/move on.

Do not confront him on this if he's not your man. Don't cause and create drama because YOU don't like something. Quietly move on if you need to without making him wrong---just because you don't like something about his behavior doesn't make him wrong. Or you can decide to be okay with it and go with the flow.

But tiki33, I had the problem with him and sex initially. I told him I needed it to last longer and he kept it in mind and has improved a lot. So if I want more communication, isn't it normal to tell him that I desire more communication from a man I am dating? If he cares, he will improve this aspect too.

I believe in putting one's cards on the table about these things. I wasn't like this until this year but I find that it is a good method and saves a lot of trouble. The question is, will he as a Leo respect me for this or will he feel like he is being criticized?

You can tell him what you want sure. I don't see a problem with discussing your expectations/needs but there is a possibility that you'll be seen as needy, meaning you need him to do this and that to feel secure and that kind of neediness could eventually dismantle his attraction for you bit by bit.

Most likely he'll begin to distance himself more because you are asking for more than what he feels comfortable giving.

If the guy isn't organically giving you what you need then why exactly are you with him? Do you really want to be with someone you have to nag ie ask for a little more?

Your criticism and neediness can push a man to back away from you because you need him to be a certain way so you can feel secure and happy with him and men don't want to be needed this way, it's suffocating.

Posted by tiki33
You can tell him what you want sure. I don't see a problem with discussing your expectations/needs but there is a possibility that you'll be seen as needy, meaning you need him to do this and that to feel secure and that kind of neediness could eventually dismantle his attraction for you bit by bit.

Most likely he'll begin to distance himself more because you are asking for more than what he feels comfortable giving.

If the guy isn't organically giving you what you need then why exactly are you with him? Do you really want to be with someone you have to nag ie ask for a little more?

Your criticism and neediness can push a man to back away from you because you need him to be a certain way so you can feel secure and happy with him and men don't want to be needed this way, it's suffocating.

I disagree. People should state what they are looking for up front. Otherwise, how will men and women know what the other person expects? We are not mind readers.

I always find that men can't give me everything I want, which is natural of course. But I do wonder if I things would have been better with my exes if I had actually told them what I need.

You are not saying what you're looking for upfront, you're noticing this and that and then you want to nit pick it (complain about HIS behavior) and bring drama. Don't you have something else going on in your life other than him.

He know he's blowing hot and cold and if you don't like it then move on to another man.

I'm not going to go back and forth with you---notice I'm now doing you like he's doing you, I'm moving away because you don't get it and you know what men do when a woman doesn't get it, they blow hot and cold or they just leave and never return.

You wanted to know why he's blowing hot and cold and I'm telling you---you're demands, needs, wants is the reason why he's blowing hot and cold with you.

He's not your husband, he's just one guy that you're dating and dating isn't a monogamous long term commitment, dating is just what it is--it's dating and he should not be asked and nagged to give more because you need more to feel secure.

You're stubborn entitled (give me more I deserve and need more)attitude is a turn off.

He does not owe you more. He does not owe you more sex. He does owe you more communication and if you keep asking for it he'll see you as being an unhappy controlling needy woman and he will run.

So do what you like okay. Good luck, I mean it.