Lady Aries
@Lady Aries
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 357 · Topics: 19
a parent's death
I'm sorry for your loss.
Wish i could help you but my experiences are limited when it comes to that.
Hang in there. Im sure you will find 100's of resources on the internet.
Wish i could help you but my experiences are limited when it comes to that.
Hang in there. Im sure you will find 100's of resources on the internet.
I am sorry for your loss.
Death is hard for kids to grasp at first but, I think it's all about how you handle it and what they see from you. Death is a part of life, it will happen to us all. It is one of those things we just have to accept. Celebrate the life and the memories you have. My oldest son is not biologically mine but I adopted him as a baby and have raised him since. I knew his father, we hung out several times, went out for beers or whatever and talked regularly for a while when my son was first born. He took his own life a couple years back. My son knows that John is dead but not how (I thought it a little dark for him, he's only 10). He never really knew John though so it is very different for you but the focus should be on what you have not what you lost. He has told me that he wished he knew his father and sometimes you can see that he is deep in thought about stuff. I let him know he can ask me anything he wants and sometimes he does. He tells me that I am the best dad in the world and that it's okay that I'm not his 'real' dad because I'm better, and that if he could have picked out who is dad was it would be me anyway.
Just love them and comfort them if they need it. They have people that love them and who are there for them, as long as they know that they'll be fine. Let them express themselves and ask questions. Just try to stay positive when you answer them. Don't lie but there is no need to be dark and morbid either haha.
I hope that makes sense...
Death is hard for kids to grasp at first but, I think it's all about how you handle it and what they see from you. Death is a part of life, it will happen to us all. It is one of those things we just have to accept. Celebrate the life and the memories you have. My oldest son is not biologically mine but I adopted him as a baby and have raised him since. I knew his father, we hung out several times, went out for beers or whatever and talked regularly for a while when my son was first born. He took his own life a couple years back. My son knows that John is dead but not how (I thought it a little dark for him, he's only 10). He never really knew John though so it is very different for you but the focus should be on what you have not what you lost. He has told me that he wished he knew his father and sometimes you can see that he is deep in thought about stuff. I let him know he can ask me anything he wants and sometimes he does. He tells me that I am the best dad in the world and that it's okay that I'm not his 'real' dad because I'm better, and that if he could have picked out who is dad was it would be me anyway.
Just love them and comfort them if they need it. They have people that love them and who are there for them, as long as they know that they'll be fine. Let them express themselves and ask questions. Just try to stay positive when you answer them. Don't lie but there is no need to be dark and morbid either haha.
I hope that makes sense...
I'm sure it's taking an emotional toll on you as well even though you two were no longer together. Some kids come through like troopers, others not so well. Do not expect your children to grieve the same way and do not think that if they're not expressing themselves that they are not hurting. Watch for signs of acting out, make sure their teachers at school are aware as well so that if they start acting out there this can be relayed back to you and the school will (should) respond appropriately if necessary - having your child(ren) talk to a school psychologist as opposed to being punished. Be open and honest with them, you don't need to hide your own pain either. Death is a natural part of life and it is probably healthy if they see you grieving - this gives them the 'ok' to do so themselves. If you have trouble talking about it with them, or don't know what to say, go to your local library or bookstore and find something that speaks to your beliefs about death and dying. There is on called "Always and Forever" that is supposed to be good, it focuses on all the positives of someone who passed, rather than focusing on where they went. That may be a good start.
i am so sorry for you loss.
it is important to let them know that he loved them very much. they are going to need you to pour some extra love on them right now. and since your relationship ended you can tell them that although you guys were not together. you still loved him too.
when my friends mom died when we were 10, she was very sad all the time. but her dad made sure that he was there for her. he kept pictures of her around and they celebrated her birthday every year. still do to this day.
you just have to be there for them.
it is important to let them know that he loved them very much. they are going to need you to pour some extra love on them right now. and since your relationship ended you can tell them that although you guys were not together. you still loved him too.
when my friends mom died when we were 10, she was very sad all the time. but her dad made sure that he was there for her. he kept pictures of her around and they celebrated her birthday every year. still do to this day.
you just have to be there for them.
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.
Children should be taught that death is a part of life and they need to know it's okay to feel sad and to cry. Let them know you are mourning too. If you hide your grief, they will think that grief is not an acceptable feeling.
Children do not understand euphemisms, so when informing them that someone has died, make sure the word 'died' is used. Be prepared for many questions -questions about life and death demand honest answers. Listen carefully and make sure you understand what they want to know. Answer the question honestly and if you don't know the answer, tell them you don't know the answer.
It is always good for everyone to remember their loved one who has died. Through memories, the person is kept alive in our minds and hearts. As chemengin mentioned, it will help to leave a photo album out for your daughters to look at pictures whenever they like. It also helps them to hold on to happy memories of their father. Your daughters will know that it is good to remember their father.
Will your daughters attend the service? If not, why not hold a family memorial? read poems, or write personal letters. Plant flowers or a tree for him in your yard. Make a nice scrap book together, in his honour.
Children should be taught that death is a part of life and they need to know it's okay to feel sad and to cry. Let them know you are mourning too. If you hide your grief, they will think that grief is not an acceptable feeling.
Children do not understand euphemisms, so when informing them that someone has died, make sure the word 'died' is used. Be prepared for many questions -questions about life and death demand honest answers. Listen carefully and make sure you understand what they want to know. Answer the question honestly and if you don't know the answer, tell them you don't know the answer.
It is always good for everyone to remember their loved one who has died. Through memories, the person is kept alive in our minds and hearts. As chemengin mentioned, it will help to leave a photo album out for your daughters to look at pictures whenever they like. It also helps them to hold on to happy memories of their father. Your daughters will know that it is good to remember their father.
Will your daughters attend the service? If not, why not hold a family memorial? read poems, or write personal letters. Plant flowers or a tree for him in your yard. Make a nice scrap book together, in his honour.
If they plan on having an open casket at the wake, DO NOT let them see that.
I'm so sorry for your and your daughter's loss.
I'm so sorry for your and your daughter's loss.
Posted by tamara
Children should be taught that death is a part of life and they need to know it's okay to feel sad and to cry. Let them know you are mourning too. If you hide your grief, they will think that grief is not an acceptable feeling.
Children do not understand euphemisms, so when informing them that someone has died, make sure the word 'died' is used. Be prepared for many questions -questions about life and death demand honest answers. Listen carefully and make sure you understand what they want to know. Answer the question honestly and if you don't know the answer, tell them you don't know the answer.
This is wonderful advice. Do not teach your children the cycle of "emotional stuffing".
I am sorry, I have nothing further to add in way of advice. Everyone here has done a marvelous job. Just be there to love them and answer all their questions.
Five and 1/2 years ago our son passed away. He was 28. His young wife had just delivered their son 8 days prior. They also had an 18 month old daughter. I believe some of the best advice is to acknowledge that the mourning of children closely parallels that of adults. Your 7 year old feels the depth of grief that you may feel. The most important things you can do for her are to listen and talk. Let her express her feelings. There is no right or wrong. Validate her concerns. Be honest. Share stories. Keep photos available to look at and cry over. Let her dad remain a real person who was important in her life.
It was difficult for us when people would act like our son's young daughter was better protected form thinking about missing her daddy. It is rather the same as people not knowing what to say to a grieving person so they say nothing or hope no one's thinking about the death. You ALWAYS think about the death. So do children. She continually hoped that her daddy was coming in the house whenever the downstairs door opened.
There is great comfort in knowing that other people remember the person who passed away. There is great comfort in sharing loving memories. There is tremendous comfort in sharing thoughts about "heaven", about hoping that loved one's are looking down on us. Include the child in your thoughts and tears as well as your laughter. Our granddaughter continues to draw pictures in a small journal showing how she sometimes feels. She is open to sharing them with us and talking about how she wishes her daddy were still here. Learning that this experience has happened to other children can often help as well.
My sincere sympathies go out to you and your family.
Shirley Renaud
Author of " A Special Pocket in My Heart" - a short book about our own story.
It was difficult for us when people would act like our son's young daughter was better protected form thinking about missing her daddy. It is rather the same as people not knowing what to say to a grieving person so they say nothing or hope no one's thinking about the death. You ALWAYS think about the death. So do children. She continually hoped that her daddy was coming in the house whenever the downstairs door opened.
There is great comfort in knowing that other people remember the person who passed away. There is great comfort in sharing loving memories. There is tremendous comfort in sharing thoughts about "heaven", about hoping that loved one's are looking down on us. Include the child in your thoughts and tears as well as your laughter. Our granddaughter continues to draw pictures in a small journal showing how she sometimes feels. She is open to sharing them with us and talking about how she wishes her daddy were still here. Learning that this experience has happened to other children can often help as well.
My sincere sympathies go out to you and your family.
Shirley Renaud
Author of " A Special Pocket in My Heart" - a short book about our own story.
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