When Loved Ones Are Complacent Of You. . .

Hello Everyone,
It's me, Dreamy-Eyez again. It's raining outside and I'm kind of depressed about something. You see, I'm a nice-guy yet in turn I've always felt like "an after thought" or "forgotten" whenever it comes to family and friends. The reason why I say that is because I'm always the "giver". It's like I'm always the thoughtful one for others, yet they aren't thoughtful of me. In my family, I always kept in touch with everyone, yet they never made an attempt to pick up the phone just to see how I'm doing. The same goes with my friends. Whenever they are in a jam or need help, I always went that extra mile to make sure they're needs are met. Though in turn, it kind of hurts knowing that they just may not do the same for me. I'm always bending over backwards for my loved ones by being there to a point to where they feel that I am safe, so they become complacent with me. Sometimes I just wish they would recieve a lesson somehow just to show them that I'm not always going to be around. I'm not whining, but to me it just sucks when you have to beg for a thoughtful deed from loved ones after knowing that they'll never do it for you out of their own free-will like how you would for them. Any advice anyone?

I use to blast when I start to think same about someone. At least even if they not agree, they know what I need. Most of the time they go for compromise. It's sort of "when you blast, then that means you are right". People subconcious psycholgy. I don't know why but it works. Haa, and yes. This method doesn't work for Pisces. For others yes.

Awwww...I know that feeling, Dreamy-Eyez. I guess the key is to see that you're a strong person (it's ironic that people like you feel weak, isn't it?) because you're able to give so much. You're strong enough to give all that and be there emotionally for all those people. But maybe look into not overextending yourself too much. Show with your actions that there is a limit to what you can give, that you're not a Saint.

I've been through similar things and have felt similar disappointments, but it's ultimately harming to you when it builds into resentment (which it does). How I handle it is by doing self-serving acts, being "selfish" and even when I feel guilty, tell myself that it's ok. And learn to say no.

I know your problem is not assertiveness, it's niceness and overextending yourself to those you care about, and where your energy goes--and how much of it. Just remember, you have limited energy and just love yourself for the generous person you are. Find new friends who are good listeners and willing to be there for you. Also, learn to ask for what you need, not everyone is going to be psychic like us water signs🙂 We do have that ability, but unfortunately we need to spell it out sometimes, such as "I need you to listen to me/I need to vent, do you have some time?/I need you right now/I'm upset about something, and need to talk about it" etc.

About the part where they just don't give back, or even think the way you do, see that they have limitations and they don't know better. Love yourself even more for being able to give like that.

Hope that helps.

Dreamy-Eyes...

The only way they are going to get the lesson that you are not always going to be there for them is if you give it to them! I must say though...there are two sides to this coin...You being a Pisces, I know it is hard for you to say No to anyone but you have to realize what you are doing and why you are doing it.

If these people are family...I can understand you wanting to help and you should as long as you are not putting yourself in a bad situation, financial or otherwise. I could say don't help these people because they won't be there for you...but the reality of the situation is, you should NEVER help someone else because you are expecting something back. If you give a homeless person on the street a quarter, you don't do it because you expect him to pay you back one day...you do it because you feel he needs it and it makes you feel good to help a person in need. Trust me, for all the good deeds you do...the universe (Karma) is keeping tabs and it WILL come back to you.

On the other hand, I know what it feels like to be used by friends (not family b/c they are ALWAYS there for me as I am for them) My best friend..I had to cut her off for a while because she was beginning to take advantage of the fact that I do hair and expecting me to drop everything to do her hair for little to nothing. Now I LOVE making people feel better about themselves and feel beautiful, but I realized that she became complacent with me and I put a quick end to that. We are of course friends again, but she is less likely to try to take advantage of me...she still tries me sometimes, but I have gotten better and better at saying no and if they can't accept that, they never were friends to begin with.

Good Luck!
Cancerlady/Mamadeuce

What's up Ya'll,
It's Dreamy-Eyez. I just wanted to say that I really liked how Cancerlady used the example of "the homeless guy" to point out that you really shouldn't do kind deeds with expectations attatched to them. I really don't do that, though. I was fearing that if I were to be in great need one day, that my loved ones probably couldn't help me like how I was able to do for them. In a way, I was wondering who do I run to when I'm in need, because I'm so use to being the one that you go to. I never thought of myself as being strong, so I guess it is ironic for me to feel the way I do. On my part, I guess I need to learn that saying "No" isn't offensive and that it's okay. Thank you all for putting that in perspective for me. I was really feeling low today.

hi DreamyEyez

U r a typical Pisces
So is my dear friend,well,y do u need an advice though?, u r like ne other piscean,caring,n giving.n v all like u tht way.Trust this.
but i have read all this in books bout u guys,i mean ths friend i have is so difficult to understand!
at times he seems 2 b so caring, n at others, he just is a jerk! r these 'mood swings' so frequent?or is tht an illusion from my side?

Hi Pooja Cancer,
I'm Dreamy-Eyez and yes I'm a Pisces, though I don't know what you mean by a tpical one. Anyway, I'm going to be honest with you. I can be a jerk sometimes too whenever I'm in a bad mood. I've been reading up on the bipolar disorder to learn that moods are initiated by thoughts. I know that this isn't really the case of what you are asking me, but my point being is that Pisceans are the most caring, empathetic, sensitive, giving sign of the zodiac, but on the flip side a bad mood can come along when we think of something negative. Like for example: "I'm always there for my loved ones, yet in turn whose going to be there for me when I'm in need." Stuff like that comes to mind and it makes you a jerk that sometimes seem to be for no reason to others. This is where communication comes along. I'm aware that water signs a the top 3 on the list in expecting other people to read their minds. You got to fight this and try to communicate alot because it's the only way things will be easier and negative thoughts with negative assumptions will cease to exist. Dreamy-Eyez, out.