Hooking up on the 1ST night

We've all heard about how TABOO it is (especially for women) to hook up with someone on the 1st night, BUT it seems now that times have changed!!

I realize that some men still live by the "If on the 1st night you can HIT it, you should QUIT it" creed BUT surprisingly, alot of men nowadays aren't so quick/fast to rule a woman out as long-term potential all b/c he was able to have sex with her on the 1st night. In fact, I've seen many relationships spring from 2 people who "gave in" on the 1st night." And I want to add that these are relationships that appear to be great AND that are still in progress....

What do you guys think?!!!!

MEN: What are your typical/average thoughts about the women who will allow you to sleep with them on the 1st night?
-And I ask this question assuming that you love everything about her already (personality, looks, energy, etc.)

LADIES: Would you take a man seriously if he hinted that he wanted to sleep with you on the 1st night?

A friend of mine told me yesterday that he NO longer automatically rules out a woman just b/c he was able to sleep with her on the 1st night b/c he's realizing that some of the BEST women only give it up b/c they are really feeling the moment vs. only doing so b/c they are "easy" or sluts.

Personally, it's not that I think hooking up with a guy on the 1st night automatically disqualifies the potential for things going past F buddy or friendship level, BUT I can understand why some men are skeptical of the women who give it up to them on the 1st night. After all, if she'll let you "hit it" there's no telling how many other guys have "hit it" on the 1st night or in general period!

However, I've heard stories of women who were REALLY feeling the guy (& vice versa), in which after a long & blissful evening finally decided to give in & "give it up." And these women only gave it up b/c they were really in the moment & felt the chemistry & "connection." They felt being honest about wanting to sleep with him on the 1st night was BETTER than playing the "angel/innocent" card all just to convince a guy she's not easy. Strange thing is, these women actually ended up walking off into the sunset with the guys they slept with on the 1st night. Shocking!

LADIES: Would you take a man seriously if he hinted that he wanted to sleep with you on the 1st night?

Nope. I'd hit the road. It would feel like I was nothing more than a vagina to him. It would make me uncomfortable as hell. Probably a bit threatened too if I didn't know him at all.

Honestly, I've given up on thinking that first date hookups should NEVER happen. It really depends on the person you are with. I used to live by the thought that I should wait at least a month or something before I get it in with a guy. I wouldn't even allow heavy petting until after the third date or something. But I learned over time that that just isn't reasonable, especially with EVERY guy, because not all guys are the same; at least, they won't be the same to me. While one guy I wouldn't want to do anything with, another guy I might want to have sex with after only seeing him twice. I learned that the level of connection you have with someone does not equal a longer length of time; I immediately felt connected to one guy after only being with him for a day; enough that I felt comfortable making out with him and then sleeping over his place on the second date.

To some, that may seem disgusting or unreasonable; but the guy still wanted to see me for a while even after all that transpired. So, if you find yourself connected to the guy after 12 hours together on the first date compared to a guy you've been on 3 dates with, then by all means, indulge. As long as you REALLY feel like you want to hook up with the person and aren't in any way uncomfortable, then go for it.

But to answer a couple of your questions, I'm not one to really sleep on the first date. Kissing is fine. With the guy I mentioned before, we did talk about sex, but there is a difference between talking about having sex and talking about sex in general. I obviously wasn't going to do it there, but I felt comfortable enough speaking about it and it did happen later. But if a guy blatantly hinted at having sex right there and there, I'd say no; I wouldn't not consider seeing him again unless he was incredibly pushy and didn't respect my boundaries.

I'm also not going to hint at sex unless we are both on the same level.

@Candeh: I agree. Technically, if a guy has BAD intentions, it won't really matter HOW long a woman makes him wait, whether it's 1 day or 1 year! If a man never intended on respecting a woman, it won't really matter to him how long she makes him wait or vice versa.

Plus, not all women only seek men for the purposes of wanting a relationship. If a woman is seeking a relationship, I think sex should be the LAST thing on both people's minds. BUT I believe that alot of OTHER things too should be put on pause if a relationship is what 1 or both people is after.

BUT, there are some girls who think just like some men! They could give a damn about love & relationships. Some women are only interested in sex ONLY & end up falling for the guy later on. And the same thing happens with men who end up falling for the 1 girl who originally started out as just a "1 night stand" or hookup.

If 2 people end up naturally having sex on the 1st night, without either person hinting at it or being aggressive, that's 1 thing. But what I can't stand are the men or women who have "I just wanna hit it" written across their foreheads! If a man even thought of hinting at sex or just blatenly asking me to have sex with him on the 1st night, I probably wouldn't take him seriously & would NEVER be able to fully trust his intentions. It's almost better for 2 people to start off kissing & touching, thus letting things venture off into sex VS. 2 people literally planning it out that they're going to hook up that night.

I had sex with my 1st love on the 3rd date. For me, that was a HUGE deal, considering I was usually the kind of girl who made a man "wait" forever. BUT, I felt a strong connection with him & even though I STILL can't explain it to this day, I just "knew" that we'd go alot further than just being 2 F buddies. Idk how but I just "knew." And I was right. We ended up being together for 3 years. And NOT ONCE did he ever mention how hard it was for him to trust me all b/c I gave it up so early.

HA! Some girls walk around purposely making the man "wait" but only b/c she doesn't want him to think she's easy/is a slut. And hey, that's understandable b/c it's no secret that hooking up on the 1st night is the 1ST way to get a man to instantly lose respect for you. BUT, some situations/men are different. Sometimes a woman just "knows" that she won't be pointed/knocked for giving it up so quickly. And if she REALLY wants to give it up, she might as well do what she wants

I used to make guys wait a certain amount of time, but then i realised this was only because of the way i thought other people would view me and not actually anything to with how i felt about the situation. If I want sex im having it, dont care if its been an hour a week or a month that ive known the guy.

I also wouldnt think any less of a guy hinting he wants sex. Atleast he knows what he wants and isnt afraid to make it clear. I hate guys who bullshit with their "yeah we should take it slow" while they are trying to hide the fact they have a Semi!

I would make sure we are both on the same wavelength and both no whether this is gonna be just sex, or is it the start of something.

One of my friends met a guy a couple of years ago in a club, went back to his and ended up staying the whole weekend, they are engaged to be married next year! Would they still be getting married if she had made him wait? Who knows, but choosing not to wait definately didnt harm their relationship.

I agree. It all comes down to what a guy can SEE in you/pick up on you BEFORE he approaches you! How a woman CARRIES herself can make/break things moreso than how quickly she gives it up! Some guys actually notice more about a woman than just her appearance. Some guys see how a woman carries herself & from there, go on to assume he's seeing traits in her even if he hasn't even met her officially yet.

For instance, if a guy meets a woman at a bar & his only means of attraction to her are her looks, then it's probably a BAD move to sleep with him on the 1st night. BUT, if a guy meets a woman at work & has been observing her for a long time, notices the way she carries herself (OUTSIDE of a sexual environment), notices AND admires her laugh, the way she walks, the way she appears to be confident, etc. there's a good chance that he'll have MORE to still go on even after he has sex with her. E.I. if a man finds something ELSE other than sexual attraction to like a woman for, he's not likely to completely DITCH her just b/c he had sex with her. He'll be open to exploring other qualities within her since he SAW more than just SEX when he thinks of her!

I think WHERE a woman meets a guy has alot to do with long-term potential too. That's why some men/women aren't as confident in finding someone whose relationship material persay at clubs/bars the same way they would persay they met someone at work, at the mall or online. The ATMOSPHERE of where 2 people meet can sometimes make/break things. Meeting a woman at the strip club is completely diff. than meeting her at the gym!