is it possible to be in love with two at a time?

my bff (leo)is in love with two men. i don't doubt it at all and nor do i condemn her for it.
the love of her life (pisces) has been there for 18 yrs. long story short,timing has been off and they have never ended up together. he has remained single.
her husband (pisces as well)is a good man, good provider, good father. but she's not (and i quote) "in love" with him but does "love" him. she has never stepped outside of her marriage (12 yrs) physically, but i guess you would say she cheats emotionally.
i don't pass judgement on her, because i love her. i always support her and listen to her woes.
my question is this...is it possible to be in love with two people at a time? i never know what type of advice to give her.

much appreciated opinion, pigeonpie. thanks!

To the title my answer is, "Of course."

But someone is going to be terribly unhappy. And that makes me unhappy.

There are different levels of love. I love all my family at the same time, so that type of love IS possible.

But in terms of relationships, it's impossible to be giving 2 people your all at the same time. It's very hard to juggle 2 people at the same time, especially since they probably wouldn't appreciate it or encourage it if they knew!

It's possible to be in love with 1 person while yet growing feelings for another person. But love is more than just feelings. Love is ACTION. And it's hard to give 2 people your undivided attention. It's hard as it is to give just 1 person your all. Unless your friend is superwoman & is from another universe, no I doubt she's in love with both guys. She might "have love for" both guys, but I doubt that she can give them both her all, maintain a successful relationship with them both AND still walk away a winner.

The mere fact that she cheats emotionally says it all. What's the 1st thing we think when someone betrays us, lies to us or cheats on us? We think, "You must not love me," right? Welp, in order to juggle 2+ people, there usually has to be SOME kinda form of deceipt, confusion, insecurity, and/or dishonesty somewhere in the situation. No one wants to share the person they love so if these guys are ok with knowing they're sharing her, they're either 1. Not in love with her either OR 2. They're screwing someone else, which would justify their lack of caring.

Any time you cheat, physically or emotionally, you're stripping your relationship of communication, trust & honesty. And without those 3 things, love CANNOT exist. Just b/c someone can successfully yet deceitfully juggle 2 people doesn't mean the love is genuine/real. It's called having your cake & eating it too, or being too selfish to finish 1 thing before you start another.

Love feels so good b/c it's a unique union b/w only 2 people. Meaning both people are willing to give eachother what they wouldn't normally give to others (sex, intimacy, trust, undying loyalty, etc.) Well any time you start gaining benefits from someone OUTSIDE of your relationship, you're cheating your partner out of being able to give you those things.

Sounds like your friend is insecure moreso than her being in love with 2 different guys. She's too selfish to let 1 or both guys go b/c all she cares about is HER needs. That's why she sits & makes a list of what each guy does for her.

And I'm willing to bet you that if those guys actually knew what was going on, neither of them would be thrilled at knowing that they're "sharing" her. And like I said, if they're ok with that, what she's doing wouldn't be considered cheating. People in open relationships don't consider their outside relations with others as cheating b/c in their minds, they approve of it & see nothing wrong with it. So the mere fact that she's cheating automatically spells trouble & symbolizes, if anything her LACK of love for each of these guys.

Love is about boundaries. It's about having respect for the other person. It's about not intentionally doing anything that will hurt/betray the other person; after all, that's what our enemies do. Our loved ones are supposed to step in & do all the things those who DON'T love us, do. That's the whole purpose of love. And most people CANNOT cheat (emotionally OR physically) without somehow stripping the relationship/their partner(s) of trust, communication or honesty. And once again, without those 3 things, love cannot & does not exist. Selfishness maybe. Infatuation maybe. But love? Nope

I think it is VERY possible to love more than one person at a time. But I think its IMPOSSIBLE to be IN LOVE with more than one person.

txtbukariesgirl,

In light of your post, you want to know how to answer your friend when she asks you if it's possible to be in love with two people at once. Answer:

Your friend said she is not "in love" with her husband. So, if she asks you the question you are posting, then you answer her with her own words. That'll probably stop her from asking you.

omg...thanks for all the responses everyone! i am reading them all and trying to process it. you all have very very valid points! again, thanks a million!
i guess the thing she is stuck with is how important is being with the person you're in love with someone compared to keeping a family and home intact?
when she asks my advice i consider the "grass is always greener" theory....but then i think, life is short. i would rather regret something i did, than something i didnt do.
see my dilemma with advising her. i'm of no use!

Yes. I will always love the father of my children (who is deceased). But I also love my current SO.

Posted by txtbukariesgirl
omg...thanks for all the responses everyone! i am reading them all and trying to process it. you all have very very valid points! again, thanks a million!
i guess the thing she is stuck with is how important is being with the person you're in love with someone compared to keeping a family and home intact?
when she asks my advice i consider the "grass is always greener" theory....but then i think, life is short. i would rather regret something i did, than something i didnt do.
see my dilemma with advising her. i'm of no use!

Then she'll have to make a choice. Gawd do i know...lol.
Became friends with an aqua(technically he's pisces-aqua cusp..had his bday a day off)and we 'connect'in ways s/o and i don't. he provided me with something s/o doesn't. Long story short..we don't hang out as much now. I set boundaries on contact. Working on reconnecting with s/o which got lost along the way.