Need some help with a Libra guy.. Any fellow sags

Hello all, could use some advice . I'm a Sag and having been dating a Libra a few months. We were getting along wonderfully spending at least 4 days a week together and talking everyday . He was doing 90 percent of the initiating and I was very happy . I met his sister , cousins and friends and things seem to be great .. No red flags . I was introduced to him from a friend of mine. Well a few weeks ago he started to become distant in the sense we were seeing each other less but still talking everyday but not as much . Two weeks ago I tried to reach him and heard nothing from him for 4 days . We are not exclusive , but agreed that's the direction we wanted to go but just letting things happen naturally . He said he was not interested in anyone else and I told him I was not either. After 4 days of silence he sends me a text saying he he has a lot going on and is trying to get some things together as it relates to his and life and sanity . And that it's nothing he wanted to drag me into . He tells me that I don't deserve to be ignored and he really likes me and thinks I'm a total sweetheart but to believe him when he is says he is doing me a favor by staying away lately . He then says he will call me soon and he is so sorry for his lack of communication and for being so closed off.. I tell him if he needs anything to call I'm here for him and to take care of himself . Well a week goes by and I calk and he finally calls back and he won't tell me what's going on and says he is not trying to talk to me like I'm Dr. Phil and he is just trying to get some things together and he just needs some time. I asked flat out if he just didn't want to date anymore , if he just doesn't want me in his life and he said that was not the case. I explained I feel he has completely shut me out and that this is really has been going on for weeks . He said that it wasn't me but that he just needs to get some things together and needs time. I really like this guy and I have not tried to reach him since our last conversation which was 4 days ago . I have many Libra male friends but haven't had a chance to speak to them about this . I am just so confused but it's hard not to take his distance personal . He said on his own that it has nothing to do with anyone else( I was thinking it but didn't ask because we had this conversation already ) His bday is the 15 th and we our suppose to got to dinner Thursday because he said he will be with his family Wednesday but should I still

Sorry got cut off, should I still take him to dinner ? I want to still have hope but to be honest I know how flaky he can be and I'm afraid he may cancel . It's been 3 weeks since we have seen each other . He had canceled on me a few times weeks ago before he told me he was dealing with some things . I'm so confused ..

I'm really interested to see what pink is going to say. But my advice is to simply fall back, don't do anything, no calling/texting/social media contact. Zilch. Sometimes when men-not just libras-need space it isn't always about you, especially if nothing really happened between the two of you. Sometimes men need time and space to sort things out.
When women go through things we like to be around people and talk it out, men aren't like that. So give him as much time as he needs, if he's interested he will get in contact with you, if he's not anymore at least you don't come across as the desperate/clingy girl who just can't take a hint.

Goodluck. But my guess is it has nothing to do with you.

Also, it could take awhile & by awhile I mean weeks maybe even months depending on what he's going through. I wouldn't wait around bc you really don't know what's up, but give him the space & do your own thing. Time will tell.

How should I handle his birthday ? Should I mention dinner at all ?

Sounds like he's trying to get you to leave him, so he doesn't have to leave you.

Thanks for the advice

"But my advice is to simply fall back, don't do anything, no calling/texting/social media contact."

I agree with that.

1. Clean your head fromy any sort of ideas/explanation. Don't try to find reasons.
2. Live your life.
3. If he makes new contact and plans then be resposive.
4. Does it feel ok? then go for it.
5. Does it feel like he degraded you? then cut off at any stage you detect this feeling.

It's still ok to send (a few days before or early in the morning) a card/email/post for birthday. That's general ethics.
But no call. He must call you. Otherwise you are labeled with clingy in his mind and his friends' mind
(which one is worse?)

Honestly if I were you and he would not try to contact me before or on his BD I'd not like him anymore. We are no queens and godesses like Leo, Aqua, Taurus but we are also not so interested in liars at all.

I haven't contacted him since he called Tuesday . This is honestly just hurtful and just hard not to take personally . I agree, with doing nothing .. All he kept saying was " I like u alot and enjoy spending time with you " I just need some time to get some " shit together " ... But won't tell me what.. I asked him if just didn't want me in his life because I told him he has completely shut me out if his . He just kept saying that is not it ...

sad Point is that men defines themselves hugely based their sexual power. Ten years later they can be cool with being not 500% perfect. But the first confrontation is very very scary. It is almost the same schock women have with not being able to carry babies.

My libra guy pulled disappearing acts pretty regularly. & once, he did one right before his birthday, I didn't call him on his bday bc I thought that if he couldn't be considerate enough to call/text to see how I am, why should I call/text him HBD? That's just how I feel. Each time he disappeared I fell back, and each time he came back around, eventually.

If he comes back, just know that it's possible this will happen again, bc this is just how they are. Can you deal with this behavior long term?

Bc that's what you should be thinking about while y'all are on this break, bc that's all it is.

Posted by aquavita2
...a libra will always abuse the nativity of the sag

I don't agree. Else we did not have Libra and Gem threads doubting if Sag used them.

They should be prepared for the reality of situationships. At the beginning everything is nice. The less you know the more phantasize you and in a good way. Hope is the final deception. Then the every day life comes and differences show themselves. Distraction is big (media). Seperation is no taboo.

JBG, I have decided I'm not going to say happy birthday . I sent a card and that should be sufficient . I'm curious , with your guy did he ever explain why he did this ?

Posted by sag 17
JBG, I have decided I'm not going to say happy birthday . I sent a card and that should be sufficient . I'm curious , with your guy did he ever explain why he did this ?

Girl I wouldn't have even sent the card, but to each his own, it was sweet & thoughtful though. Honestly, no. He would resurface anywhere from 1 week to 3 weeks. The last time was over a month. I've never been direct & asked him why he did this either. I told him whatever his reasons were they were solely his business, but this is the last time I'm going to let you come back in my life this way, either your going to be in or out.

I don't think they can really help it, it's their nature & if they aren't exactly committed to you it's hard to hold them accountable. But you can set your standards like I did. No pressure, just let him know how it makes you feel & tell him you won't deal with that. (Unless you want to deal with it) otherwise carry on.

They need time & space to figure things out, I don't believe he's not I to you, but I also don't want you to think that there's no way there's another girl on his radar. That's men in general. All you can do is be the strong, confident, independent girl who doesn't need him. Men seem to find tht attractive, & the only way to show him that is to set standards & not run behind him.

JBG, I sent the card days ago before I decided that I am not doing anything else. The last I heard from him was on Tuesday so of course at this point I'm thinking he doesn't want me and I would be a fool to keep trying . I don't plan on saying anything, happy bday nothing because if his bday was not coming up I wouldn't be contacting him after the way he is treating . I have thought several times maybe it's someone else and of course he assured me that it is not but I guess I'll never know . .. I don't know why it's so hard to tell someone you're not interested if your' re not . It's like his text was " i know I'm closed off and not communicating but basically I'm not going to fix it or change my behavior . " It's just hurtful ...

It may not be that he's not interested though. I honestly don't believe in those cut & dry "rules" that say if he's into you he shall do a,b, or c. Honestly life plays a huge factor in why you do what you do & we don't know what's going on in his life right now. I've liked guys but backed off for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with them. & men can't handle as much stress a women.

Like I said only time will tell, but it may not be a you thing. Now I do believe he's probably seeing someone else too, bc that's just how men operate. But right now that's not your concern bc y'all are not yet exclusive. All you can do now is wait.

According to these sites:
http://astrobix.com/learn/270-debilitation-of-planets-in-zodiac-signs.html<BR> and
http://www.astro.com/mtp/mtp64_e.htm<BR>
Sun is debilitated/fallen in Libra up to 10 degrees.

It gets even worse: "The native ... will be tactless, arrogant, frank, pompous and drunkard".

Any Chance your guy fits into this?
I don't have enough experiences with Libras. Do you know anybody who is totally vs. not this?

Posted by DwellingOnMove
According to these sites:
http://astrobix.com/learn/270-debilitation-of-planets-in-zodiac-signs.html<BR> and
http://www.astro.com/mtp/mtp64_e.htm<BR>
Sun is debilitated/fallen in Libra up to 10 degrees.

It gets even worse: "The native ... will be tactless, arrogant, frank, pompous and drunkard".

Any Chance your guy fits into this?
I don't have enough experiences with Libras. Do you know anybody who is totally vs. not this?

What exactly does this mean? & how long has it been going on?

I don't know his chart , just that his birth date is 10/15/75. Do they tend to go back to ex's ? I guess I'm wondering if it is someone , would he by time to see more so for someone new or old ..

Buy time I meant

"What exactly does this mean? & how long has it been going on?"

old astrology. follow the two links. or this: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/008887.html

Posted by sag 17
I don't know his chart , just that his birth date is 10/15/75. Do they tend to go back to ex's ?

15 Oktober is second decade. Not delibiated.
go back to ex? sure, on-off is trendy.

Posted by sag 17
I don't know his chart , just that his birth date is 10/15/75. Do they tend to go back to ex's ? I guess I'm wondering if it is someone , would he by time to see more so for someone new or old ..

Oh my...he's older. I can't lie his age scares me, bc I feel like by this age he should have these issues worked out by now. How old are you?

Has he been married before? Any children?

My libra is in his early 20s so him it knowing exactly what he wants and where he wants to be didn't exactly surprise me. But him being 40 & pulling this scares me.

BUT, I still think something could really be going on in his life. (But it better be good, & by good I mean bad!) He may have deep commitment issues & when y'all got super close he got super scared. But again, I feel like someone of his age should hve worked through these issues already.

Give him the space & of he doesn't hve a really good excuse, call it quits. You don't have time for a 40yo to be yanking you all around bc he doesn't know what he wants, bc if this is the case he never will.

Could it be an ex?
-Most Def! But how would any of us know that. It's always a possibility, think of some of the men you've dated in the past, regardless of their sign, don't they always have a ways I coming back around? So this may be the case, or it could be a new girl, but there's also no gauruntee that there is a "girl" he's paying all that much attention to. At this point that isn't your concern. Your only job is to give him space & do your own thing. Just wait for him to call you bc he will. If he comes with bs cut his butt right off!

I'm 40 ..

No children .. He will be 40 Wednesday

Posted by aquavita2
40 and naive

indeed!
I mean what do you want from a man who try it 5x and cannot accomplish? sick sick sick. Are all the good things not 3? If it were me I wouldn't be interested any more.