Calling all scorp females & virgo males

I'm a scorpio female and have been with my guy for almost 2 years now. This is the first relationship I have no control over. Not that I want control. I think that in any relationship both people should not feel tied down and should feel a sense of freedom. Me and my guy BOTH give eachother freedom which is good. But I find that I'm the one who puts more into the relationship, I'm the one who initiates most of the contact etc.

We have almost broken up a couple times in the near past and it was horrible. I feel so emotionally stressed lately. (i dont show this though cause any sign of insecurity makes him turned off) he is all I want! When I look at other guys, I don't feel ANHTHING, no matter how cool or attractive they are. I am completely devoted to my guy and it breaks my heart when I don't receive some of the same treatment back. He is alot more selfish then I am. I would always want to put him first to keep him happy (I don't show it as much anymore though cause I feel as though he takes advantage) but he always puts himself first. I guess he doesn't want me to rely on him. But I don't, I have myself pretty well together and am quite independent. 😢 I don't know, I think he's screwed in the head and I wish he could see what he has right in front of him. I'm beginning to think that it's a case of "you don't know what you have until it's gone" (for him) I want to gain control of the relationship again but don't know how.. I hate feeling this way! I have found that by giving him heaps of space and letting him be works well.. But I feel like I shouldn't have to play those types of games. When I love someone I want to give them my 100% all & I HATE not being able to do that with him (believe me, I've tried.. And he just takes it as too clingy/drowning him in love and affection)

also.. He had a brother who died 7 years ago. My guy was only 16 at the time and his bro was a little bit younger but my guy got bullied in school and his brother was his best friend. From what he has told
Me it affected him VERY bad.. He seams alright now but I know he gets down about it often although he doesn't show it, but I just know. He used to open up completely about his brother to his pisece ex of 3 years. Long story short, she took complete advantage of his vulnerability and used it against him. She cheated on him then when he tried to break up with him she would use the "you can't break up with me, you need me" and he actually believed it. She was the only perso

She was the only person he completely opened up to, so he felt like he couldn't leave her. He eventually did.. And I think since me there has been a few more people he has opened up to about it, some of them girls, and some of them just guy mates. When me and him first got together he opened up to me about it a bit but now he doesn't at ALL! And I am trying to figure out why! He says he 100% trusts me, I have completely proved my loyalty to him! I have had attractive guys approach me or try to contact me via Facebook and I have straight out rejected them. I am extremely faithful. Anyway, it breaks my heart how he sometimes will open up to his mates who he hasn't even known for that long about his brother in front of me when we are drinking etc but when it's just me and him he won't talk about it anymore but he would at the start when he hardly knew me?

I do remember one incident that happened in the early stages.. We came home from a night out and were still drunk.. And we were talking about his brother and he was opening up. I remember we were both soooo drunk and I think I passed out by accident! And I think he must have kept talking about it until he realised I wasn't responding? I am afraid that he must have taken that the wrong way that I wasn't interested about what he had to say! But THAT'S NOT THE CASE! 😢 I also recently went to a psychic and she spoke alot about my boyfriend and mentioned his brother. I told him this and he said that his good friend who's a girl who he grew up with (he opens up to her cause she had someone close pass Aswell) and he said that she recently saw a psychic too and they spoke about my guys brother too!! So I suggested he go and see a psychic cause that's DEFIENTLY a sign.. But he doesn't believe in spiritual stuff that much! And I think he's scared to go, but he would never admit that.

Please help! 😢 I'm sick of feeling this way

I did not have a good experience with my ex virgo. They are not capable of giving that deep soul-merging love like scorp women can (if they choose to do so)imo. I don't think they have that capacity. They can be stabilizing on emotional people. Maybe a scorp lady that has made it work with a virgo can share. They just aren't for me

Posted by everevolvingepithet
I'd put the ex to one side for a second and try and focus on what's going on between you and you boyfriend. Have you put across to him how it makes you feel when he's being selfish? Has he spoken to you or anyone else about the loss of his brother, or if it's affecting him more readily than he's willing to admit? If at 2 years along with giving each other space then I wouldn't think the problem is one that can't be overcome. Would it be a good idea to find a time when both of you are relaxed and stress free to put across the problems you've mentioned here?

I've mentioned things I don't like, how he's selfish etc and his answer is "yeah, I know, that's just me, I'm a c**t" but it doesn't seam to phase him? Or sometimes if he does something rude I will ignore him and then he will SOMETIMES apologize for being a jerk. 😢 never changes though. Wish he was consistently nice like at the start.

Stabilizing *for*

This stabilizing will come after many meltdown in which they will watch and observe and analyze. Even amused by. They you learn to calm down and control it

I think i'm thinking about it waaaay too much. 😢 but i do want to gain control again?! how do i do this?

It sounds like you lost his trust somewhere along the way and he wants to take away your 'power' over him . Him telling random friends about something that you thought was personal to him is his way of putting you on the same level as everyone else. It is no longer a big issue. Everyone knows. You can no longer probe him to open up about it since,it appears, he has no problem talking about it. That argument is over.

If that is the case, you don't need to give him space because he is working to create his own. He is taking the laziest way out. Don't allow him to be this way and he will turn to you for a plan.

Posted by nonoiseplz
It sounds like you lost his trust somewhere along the way and he wants to take away your 'power' over him . Him telling random friends about something that you thought was personal to him is his way of putting you on the same level as everyone else. It is no longer a big issue. Everyone knows. You can no longer probe him to open up about it since,it appears, he has no problem talking about it. That argument is over.

If that is the case, you don't need to give him space because he is working to create his own. He is taking the laziest way out. Don't allow him to be this way and he will turn to you for a plan.

what do you mean he will turn to me for a plan? how do i not allow him to be this way?

Posted by scorpio24

Posted by nonoiseplz
It sounds like you lost his trust somewhere along the way and he wants to take away your 'power' over him . Him telling random friends about something that you thought was personal to him is his way of putting you on the same level as everyone else. It is no longer a big issue. Everyone knows. You can no longer probe him to open up about it since,it appears, he has no problem talking about it. That argument is over.

If that is the case, you don't need to give him space because he is working to create his own. He is taking the laziest way out. Don't allow him to be this way and he will turn to you for a plan.

what do you mean he will turn to me for a plan? how do i not allow him to be this way?

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I don't know if it is temporary but he has taken actions to cause a disconnect. He expects that you will do nothing and just keep giving him space like you've been doing lately. Since he is pushing you away, I doubt he blames himself. When I'm wrong, I apologize and let the persons next action speak for itself.

You can stop his isolation by showing interest in the things he enjoys doing everyday.(like video games, tv shows, etc. )
I would immediately catch on to what you're trying to do and let you go as far as you can. If it feels genuine, I'd surrender.

no i do show an interes in his hobbies etc.. but when i pretend like i dont care THATS usually when he begins initiating contact!