KGE
@KGE
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 32 · Topics: 2
Can't decipher the behaviour
He has a few times. He was in a horrible 30 year marriage and I think that plays into it. Last night he admitted he has trouble committing. So I back off. Then the "you're quiet" messages come and the messages all morning.
I'm so confused and frustrated.
I'm so confused and frustrated.
Thank you for your insight Flo. Yes the back and forth is so frustrating. Even his children don't agree with his behaviour towards me. He wants to be alone and be a couple. I told him want he wants is to be alone and have a booty call. He got very angry at that comment.
Good luck with your new Scorpio! If I pull the plug on this one, I don't think I will ever date a Scorpio again.
Good luck with your new Scorpio! If I pull the plug on this one, I don't think I will ever date a Scorpio again.
Posted by AriesLoveThis...
We just need to realize some people need space sometimes and it might not be anything you are doing its just what it is. Everyone has experienced life in different ways and we handle it as such. Sometimes I want space I might be going through things and don't want to be bothered by no one until I clear my head.
Question is are you okay with his behavior? Are you a needy clingy person. You guys are not living together or married and still live 1.5 hrs apart. Do you love him enough to be patient and wait until he is ready for a full commitment. I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone to rush you into marriage etc if you weren't 100% sure. But if you are ready for a full committed relationship and you have spoken to him about it you can either accept his response or find someone willing to give you what you want when you want it.
Ive been involved with a scorpio man for 14 years almost. He took his time in the beginning and I didn't rush him. I allowed him to persue me at his pace and filled my schedule with other people, activities, work etc. He felt unpressured which he told me allowed his love to grow for me. I played a *little* hard to get so that helped to fuel his desire to be with me (scorpio is co-ruled by mars after all). One thing about scorpios is they are Introverted and need lots of time on their own. If the dynamic you are seeking is not one he can give you, you better off without him.. However if you change your mindset around this and are cool and welcoming he will keep moving towards you. Once you've been established for some time his drive (being an introverted sign) will most likely move towards making you his more permanent partner. But wait 4 seasons before you decide anything, once these men are committed they have a very hard time letting go (mine even has a gemini moon). All you need is patience and to be responsive (not aggressive) and don't be available so easily all the time if he is taking lots of time away (mirror his behavior) he will come running if he wants you longer term.
I'm not a needy or clingy person. I have a full life, children of my own and a career I love. But I need reassurance. I don't need him with me 24/7 as long as I know that all is good between us. I have patience but I can't do the hot and cold.
Thank you for your insight CocoKat. I will consider it.
Posted by KGEIt may seem hot and cold to you being an aries. Ive noticed my fire and to a lesser extent air sunsign girlfriends like their men around physically a lot more and they trust a lot less than water/earth sun signs. We (introverted suns) tend to trust things will work out in our main relationships, which may be the mindset of your scorpio. You may need a fire or air sun.
I'm not a needy or clingy person. I have a full life, children of my own and a career I love. But I need reassurance. I don't need him with me 24/7 as long as I know that all is good between us. I have patience but I can't do the hot and cold.
I agree that one needs to be patient and not aggressive. But there needs to be give and take. He needs to show some initiative. He needs to be considerate of my time and feelings also. For ex- I invited him down for the next day. He says he will get back to me. Doesn't mention a thing the following day until I bring it up in the early evening. He gets defensive and all I said was if he had no intent on coming or didn't want to then just tell me. I don't want to keep being the one to ask, being the one to get shot down and one to be told no to all the time. That's is not considerate at any stage of a relationship. I'm a big girl but not being straight with me is not appropriate also.
I'm sorry I sound frustrated- I am. The back and forth with him is driving me nuts.
I'm sorry I sound frustrated- I am. The back and forth with him is driving me nuts.
Posted by KGEYour welcome, I hope it works out for you. Scorpio men are very loyal and committed partners, they may be around physically less but the depth of emotion they have for their main partner/relationship is extraordinary. But your fire moon may need a different kind of relating.
Thank you for your insight CocoKat. I will consider it.
Posted by KGEQuit asking him to do anything, let him persue you and then see if his actions change. If he doesn't actually step up to the plate to ask you to see him, he is not that interested. The worst thing a woman can do is take the male role and then explode when the man doesn't step into how the man expects the woman to react (yes or no)... it makes him feel emasculated and will effect the quality of the relationship and you will be angry and resentful, I would wait for him to initiate but still keep dating others until he asks you for exclusivity.
I agree that one needs to be patient and not aggressive. But there needs to be give and take. He needs to show some initiative. He needs to be considerate of my time and feelings also. For ex- I invited him down for the next day. He says he will get back to me. Doesn't mention a thing the following day until I bring it up in the early evening. He gets defensive and all I said was if he had no intent on coming or didn't want to then just tell me. I don't want to keep being the one to ask, being the one to get shot down and one to be told no to all the time. That's is not considerate at any stage of a relationship. I'm a big girl but not being straight with me is not appropriate also.
I'm sorry I sound frustrated- I am. The back and forth with him is driving me nuts.
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Posted by AriesLovePosted by CocoKatYes...what is your sign? I'm on a cusp Pisces-Aries I'm very patient in relationships I think being aggressive and impatient does not get you anywhere. Like you said enjoy life and have other things going on that does not revolve around a man. Confidence and independence are very attractive traits in men and women. I'm not saying wait forever on someone but at least be on the same page. Don't forward your emotions until he does the same. A person cannot control another's behavior only dictate their own. If you've been dating less than 6 months or even less than a yeaPosted by AriesLoveThis...
We just need to realize some people need space sometimes and it might not be anything you are doing its just what it is. Everyone has experienced life in different ways and we handle it as such. Sometimes I want space I might be going through things and don't want to be bothered by no one until I clear my head.
Question is are you okay with his behavior? Are you a needy clingy person. You guys are not living together or married and still live 1.5 hrs apart. Do you love him enough to be patient and wait until he is ready for a full commitment. I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone to rush you into marriage etc if you weren't 100% sure. But if you are ready for a full committed relationship and you have spoken to him about it you can either accept his response or find someone willing to give you what you want when you want it.
Ive been involved with a scorpio man for 14 years almost. He took his time in the beginning and I didn't rush him. I allowed him to persue me at his pace and filled my schedule with other people, activities, work etc. He felt unpressured which he told me allowed his love to grow for me. I played a *little* hard to get so that helped to fuel his desire to be with me (scorpio is co-ruled by mars after all). One thing about scorpios is they are Introverted and need lots of time on their own. If the dynamic you are seeking is not one he can give you, you better off without him.. However if you change your mindset around this and are cool and welcoming he will keep moving towards you. Once you've been established for some time his drive (being an introverted sign) will most likely move towards making you his more permanent partner. But wait 4 seasons before you decide anything, once these men are committed they have a very hard time letting go (mine even has a gemini moon). All you need is patience and to be responsive (not aggressive) and don't be available so easily all the time if he is taking lots of time away (mirror his behavior) he will come running if he wants you longer term.click to expand
Sorry Arieslove, I just sawy your question now and I got cut off.. I'm a virgo sun & moon.
Posted by KGEIf he asked you for a committed relationship, he (in his head) is committed to you. Its up to you whether you want to accept his watery way of relating (lots of togetherness/followed by lots of space) as something you can live with. Maybe before dating others give it a time frame (in your mind) say 6 weeks and see if he is persuing you, if you doesn't then let him know you are not happy, but give him a chance to step up to the plate. His pace will be glacial next to yours being a yin sign but if you really care about him, I say give it a shot, what've you got to lose!
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Btw, I LOVE Leo moons, you guys are amazing people, very loyal and dedicated... he would be lucky to have you.
Posted by CocoKatYes I'm very dedicated and loyal which is why I'm struggling with all this. I also don't give up on the people I care about. He asked to be committed. Then last night writes that he's not sure he can be but won't stop messaging me all day and night. That's the hot and cold I speak off. At times his words and actions are polar opposites.Posted by KGEIf he asked you for a committed relationship, he (in his head) is committed to you. Its up to you whether you want to accept his watery way of relating (lots of togetherness/followed by lots of space) as something you can live with. Maybe before dating others give it a time frame (in your mind) say 6 weeks and see if he is persuing you, if you doesn't then let him know you are not happy, but give him a chance to step up to the plate. His pace will be glacial next to yours being a yin sign but if you really care about him, I say give it a shot, what've you got to lose!
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Btw, I LOVE Leo moons, you guys are amazing people, very loyal and dedicated... he would be lucky to have you.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI think it can work out, I really do!Posted by KGEExactly he needs to show some initiative so let him. Did you even give him a chance to get back with you. No you became defensive and spoke for him.
I agree that one needs to be patient and not aggressive. But there needs to be give and take. He needs to show some initiative. He needs to be considerate of my time and feelings also. For ex- I invited him down for the next day. He says he will get back to me. Doesn't mention a thing the following day until I bring it up in the early evening. He gets defensive and all I said was if he had no intent on coming or didn't want to then just tell me. I don't want to keep being the one to ask, being the one to get shot down and one to be told no to all the time. That's is not considerate at any stage of a relationship. I'm a big girl but not being straight with me is not appropriate also.
I'm sorry I sound frustrated- I am. The back and forth with him is driving me nuts.
I'm pretty sure if he wants to spend time with you he would open his mouth and tell you. He is not a baby. All you gotta say is that you miss him. Let him do the rest. Let him lead at some point. If he even wants to be with you.
CocoKat is right you might need someone with fire who is willing to let you lead...Id say a Sagittarius cuz Aries and Leo's want to initiate everything too.click to expand
I feel the commitment is there but the relating styles are a bit different, Leo moons will adjust if they know the love is there.. I bet he steps up to the plate, its just a bit of patience.. His virgo moon is keeping him on the wavelength of traditional male pursuit in addition to his scorpio sun.
Posted by leow31Posted by KGEI agree, don't invest more time on this guy. If he comes back, let him simmer a little, you've put enough of your energy in this, he knows you have kids - you got no time for bullshit. Command your self respect, if you let him walk all over you - he will. He doesn't sound like he knows what he wants/needs and ...I'd be a little worried... him being older and shit and still playing games - not a good sign. Good luck OP.
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.click to expand
Thank you!
Posted by AriesLovesounds like it.Posted by CocoKatOk I'm a Virgo moon as well. We share the same thoughts on relationships.
Sorry Arieslove, I just sawy your question now and I got cut off.. I'm a virgo sun & moon.click to expand
Posted by CocoKatThank you so much! I will take your insight to heart and let it play out. He is a good guy despite all of this so I also hope it works out. If you think of any other "coping" strategies, feel free to share them.Posted by AriesLoveI think it can work out, I really do!Posted by KGEExactly he needs to show some initiative so let him. Did you even give him a chance to get back with you. No you became defensive and spoke for him.
I agree that one needs to be patient and not aggressive. But there needs to be give and take. He needs to show some initiative. He needs to be considerate of my time and feelings also. For ex- I invited him down for the next day. He says he will get back to me. Doesn't mention a thing the following day until I bring it up in the early evening. He gets defensive and all I said was if he had no intent on coming or didn't want to then just tell me. I don't want to keep being the one to ask, being the one to get shot down and one to be told no to all the time. That's is not considerate at any stage of a relationship. I'm a big girl but not being straight with me is not appropriate also.
I'm sorry I sound frustrated- I am. The back and forth with him is driving me nuts.
I'm pretty sure if he wants to spend time with you he would open his mouth and tell you. He is not a baby. All you gotta say is that you miss him. Let him do the rest. Let him lead at some point. If he even wants to be with you.
CocoKat is right you might need someone with fire who is willing to let you lead...Id say a Sagittarius cuz Aries and Leo's want to initiate everything too.
I feel the commitment is there but the relating styles are a bit different, Leo moons will adjust if they know the love is there.. I bet he steps up to the plate, its just a bit of patience.. His virgo moon is keeping him on the wavelength of traditional male pursuit in addition to his scorpio sun.click to expand
Posted by KGEI saw this after my last response, I'm a bit slower haha.Posted by CocoKatYes I'm very dedicated and loyal which is why I'm struggling with all this. I also don't give up on the people I care about. He asked to be committed. Then last night writes that he's not sure he can be but won't stop messaging me all day and night. That's the hot and cold I speak off. At times his words and actions are polar opposites.Posted by KGEIf he asked you for a committed relationship, he (in his head) is committed to you. Its up to you whether you want to accept his watery way of relating (lots of togetherness/followed by lots of space) as something you can live with. Maybe before dating others give it a time frame (in your mind) say 6 weeks and see if he is persuing you, if you doesn't then let him know you are not happy, but give him a chance to step up to the plate. His pace will be glacial next to yours being a yin sign but if you really care about him, I say give it a shot, what've you got to lose!
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Btw, I LOVE Leo moons, you guys are amazing people, very loyal and dedicated... he would be lucky to have you.click to expand
I didn't realize he was texting you all night after he said he wasn't sure.
I would have said ok, then put my phone off... he is playing some games for sure now.
Now, you've got to be a bit hard to get.
May I suggest "Why men love Bitches" by Sherrie Argov.
I think he cares for you but your persuing ways put him off a bit... Unfortunately many yin men are like this, and Leos too. They say they like forward women because it makes things ez for them, but really it takes them out of their masculine, persuing role.
Posted by CocoKatAll night and all morning so far. And I don't initiate contact. I don't start with the good mornings etc. I just respond to his. To be honest. All the mind games have worn me out.Posted by KGEI saw this after my last response, I'm a bit slower haha.Posted by CocoKatYes I'm very dedicated and loyal which is why I'm struggling with all this. I also don't give up on the people I care about. He asked to be committed. Then last night writes that he's not sure he can be but won't stop messaging me all day and night. That's the hot and cold I speak off. At times his words and actions are polar opposites.Posted by KGEIf he asked you for a committed relationship, he (in his head) is committed to you. Its up to you whether you want to accept his watery way of relating (lots of togetherness/followed by lots of space) as something you can live with. Maybe before dating others give it a time frame (in your mind) say 6 weeks and see if he is persuing you, if you doesn't then let him know you are not happy, but give him a chance to step up to the plate. His pace will be glacial next to yours being a yin sign but if you really care about him, I say give it a shot, what've you got to lose!
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Btw, I LOVE Leo moons, you guys are amazing people, very loyal and dedicated... he would be lucky to have you.
I didn't realize he was texting you all night after he said he wasn't sure.
I would have said ok, then put my phone off... he is playing some games for sure now.
Now, you've got to be a bit hard to get.
May I suggest "Why men love Bitches" by Sherrie Argov.
I think he cares for you but your persuing ways put him off a bit... Unfortunately many yin men are like this, and Leos too. They say they like forward women because it makes things ez for them, but really it takes them out of their masculine, persuing role.click to expand
the cookiemonsters word starts with a B.
If you are on a break with him or hes not sure right now, don't be so easy to reach, believe me your phone will be blowing up in no time.
If you are on a break with him or hes not sure right now, don't be so easy to reach, believe me your phone will be blowing up in no time.
Posted by CocoKatI will take this advice. I have my children with me so I don't need to keep it on (in case they needed to get ahold of me). You have settled my mind quite a bit.
the cookiemonsters word starts with a B.
If you are on a break with him or hes not sure right now, don't be so easy to reach, believe me your phone will be blowing up in no time.
Posted by KGEWell, if your not prepared to play back then maybe you should decide if the effort is worth it on your end. I would say yes, personally if it where me and go hard to get full force until the equilibrium is back in balance in your dynamic.Posted by CocoKatAll night and all morning so far. And I don't initiate contact. I don't start with the good mornings etc. I just respond to his. To be honest. All the mind games have worn me out.Posted by KGEI saw this after my last response, I'm a bit slower haha.Posted by CocoKatYes I'm very dedicated and loyal which is why I'm struggling with all this. I also don't give up on the people I care about. He asked to be committed. Then last night writes that he's not sure he can be but won't stop messaging me all day and night. That's the hot and cold I speak off. At times his words and actions are polar opposites.Posted by KGEIf he asked you for a committed relationship, he (in his head) is committed to you. Its up to you whether you want to accept his watery way of relating (lots of togetherness/followed by lots of space) as something you can live with. Maybe before dating others give it a time frame (in your mind) say 6 weeks and see if he is persuing you, if you doesn't then let him know you are not happy, but give him a chance to step up to the plate. His pace will be glacial next to yours being a yin sign but if you really care about him, I say give it a shot, what've you got to lose!
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Btw, I LOVE Leo moons, you guys are amazing people, very loyal and dedicated... he would be lucky to have you.
I didn't realize he was texting you all night after he said he wasn't sure.
I would have said ok, then put my phone off... he is playing some games for sure now.
Now, you've got to be a bit hard to get.
May I suggest "Why men love Bitches" by Sherrie Argov.
I think he cares for you but your persuing ways put him off a bit... Unfortunately many yin men are like this, and Leos too. They say they like forward women because it makes things ez for them, but really it takes them out of their masculine, persuing role.click to expand
Posted by KGEYour welcome.Posted by CocoKatI will take this advice. I have my children with me so I don't need to keep it on (in case they needed to get ahold of me). You have settled my mind quite a bit.
the cookiemonsters word starts with a B.
If you are on a break with him or hes not sure right now, don't be so easy to reach, believe me your phone will be blowing up in no time.click to expand
Men always love a bit of chase, that's why they always die out the first love interest in male action sequels, they've got to persue again meanwhile we ladies like things a bit more grounded.. haha!]
I don't ever let my men stop chasing me, my scorpio tells me he cant understand why he never fully "has me" 14 years later.
Posted by CocoKatPosted by KGEWell, if your not prepared to play back then maybe you should decide if the effort is worth it on your end. I would say yes, personally if it where me and go hard to get full foPosted by CocoKatAll night and all morning so far. And I don't initiate contact. I don't start with the good mornings etc. I just respond to his. To be honest. All the mind games have worn me out.Posted by KGEI saw this after my last response, I'm a bit slower haha.Posted by CocoKatYes I'm very dedicated and loyal which is why I'm struggling with all this. I also don't give up on the people I care about. He asked to be committed. Then last night writes that he's not sure he can be but won't stop messaging me all day and night. That's the hot and cold I speak off. At times his words and actions are polar opposites.Posted by KGEIf he asked you for a committed relationship, he (in his head) is committed to you. Its up to you whether you want to accept his watery way of relating (lots of togetherness/followed by lots of space) as something you can live with. Maybe before dating others give it a time frame (in your mind) say 6 weeks and see if he is persuing you, if you doesn't then let him know you are not happy, but give him a chance to step up to the plate. His pace will be glacial next to yours being a yin sign but if you really care about him, I say give it a shot, what've you got to lose!
That's the weird thing. We are exclusive. Have been for months. But I'm going to take your approach. I will no longer ask him to do anything. And perhaps I should put myself out there. He isn't behaving as if he's in a committed relationship.
Btw, I LOVE Leo moons, you guys are amazing people, very loyal and dedicated... he would be lucky to have you.
I didn't realize he was texting you all night after he said he wasn't sure.
I would have said ok, then put my phone off... he is playing some games for sure now.
Now, you've got to be a bit hard to get.
May I suggest "Why men love Bitches" by Sherrie Argov.
I think he cares for you but your persuing ways put him off a bit... Unfortunately many yin men are like this, and Leos too. They say they like forward women because it makes things ez for them, but really it takes them out of their masculine, persuing role.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI don't have it in me to play games. I'm too old and too tired to. I just want some happiness with someone who truly cares. Don't need him physically there 24/7 but not wondering all the time.
Don't play games just CHILL. Go to the gym, go running, yoga trust me it changes your mindset. Love you more than anybody.
I'm a Scorpio male and I am going through the same thing with a Scorpio female, born 2 days apart (12th,14th). We have a an age gap, but we've become really close over the last couple of years. She's admitted liking me and recently have spent time together. She lives less than an hour away. We talk roughly 10 hrs a week on the phone then over the last week she hasn't called or anything. I get texts say hi and that's we'll talk soon. It drives me nuts! I feel the closer we get the more scared she is. So I understand where you are coming from. I try not to take it personal, but when you go from being the "ROCK'" in someone's life to wondering what you did wrong it's very frustrating and emotionally draining. I'm glad I get the subtle texts because I feel she is thinking of me but not knowing why she has become distant is hard.
Posted by TerScor67Your post just made me feel better. Yes. It's what I call the hot/cold behaviour. The closer we get the more apart for a while he needs to be. And I'm ok with that as long as he and I are ok. But to go from commenting on living together and a few days later saying he can't commit- OMG it's insane.
I'm a Scorpio male and I am going through the same thing with a Scorpio female, born 2 days apart (12th,14th). We have a an age gap, but we've become really close over the last couple of years. She's admitted liking me and recently have spent time together. She lives less than an hour away. We talk roughly 10 hrs a week on the phone then over the last week she hasn't called or anything. I get texts say hi and that's we'll talk soon. It drives me nuts! I feel the closer we get the more scared she is. So I understand where you are coming from. I try not to take it personal, but when you go from being the "ROCK'" in someone's life to wondering what you did wrong it's very frustrating and emotionally draining. I'm glad I get the subtle texts because I feel she is thinking of me but not knowing why she has become distant is hard.
It is very insane. I've been through this before with her, but as we've become closer it's more hurtful to go through this. She knows I love her. Doesn't understand it or trust it, but she also wants me to be her best friend. I understand her needing space and I give it to her. She tends to deal with things on her own and not get me involved, but not long ago her dog was having a health issue and she broke down crying calling me -which is rare and the first time she's done that- so I see her starting to trust and open up to me. Last time we talked was for 3 hrs and currently silence except for the random "Hi" text message. I guess I should at least take that as a positive. Maybe she is feeling me out for her to call because it's now been 9 days and it is probably awkward to talk now. Hard to believe when you can spend hours talking, but I understand when commenters say that Scorpio's need space. So i give it to her. It was hard to do at first, but I just send her little messages telling her I miss her. Nothing to aggressive. I've learned alot about her since we've become closer, but the closer we get the harder it is when this happens. Time and space makes the heart grow fonder. Like I said, we have an age gap. She's 29, i'm 48, but no kids or divorce between us. The age gap is irrelevant now, but I know her parents a bit. She finally opened up to them about us spending time together so I knew that she was slowly coming around. Every situation is different but PATIENCE is the only thing I can say will help. I wish I knew what her "sign'' is, but the weird coincidence between us is our birthdays are 2 days apart. Her dads is the 14th and her parents anniversary is the 12th which is my birthday.
Posted by starloverFor a guy in his 50s, you think he would have by now.Posted by KoniuchaThis
Tell him when he truly figures out what he wants, to let you know.
Until then, move on.
Sounds like he needs to grow up
click to expand
Posted by TerScor67Sounds like your waiting around for her to persue you, you continuously talk about when she reaches out, how infrequent it is. Why don't you reach out and ask her out instead of these long telephone convos and endless hi texts occasionally initiated by her. My scorpio relentlessly persued me, he is a bit of a macho male.. but it worked. There is a huge age difference between us as well.
It is very insane. I've been through this before with her, but as we've become closer it's more hurtful to go through this. She knows I love her. Doesn't understand it or trust it, but she also wants me to be her best friend. I understand her needing space and I give it to her. She tends to deal with things on her own and not get me involved, but not long ago her dog was having a health issue and she broke down crying calling me -which is rare and the first time she's done that- so I see her starting to trust and open up to me. Last time we talked was for 3 hrs and currently silence except for the random "Hi" text message. I guess I should at least take that as a positive. Maybe she is feeling me out for her to call because it's now been 9 days and it is probably awkward to talk now. Hard to believe when you can spend hours talking, but I understand when commenters say that Scorpio's need space. So i give it to her. It was hard to do at first, but I just send her little messages telling her I miss her. Nothing to aggressive. I've learned alot about her since we've become closer, but the closer we get the harder it is when this happens. Time and space makes the heart grow fonder. Like I said, we have an age gap. She's 29, i'm 48, but no kids or divorce between us. The age gap is irrelevant now, but I know her parents a bit. She finally opened up to them about us spending time together so I knew that she was slowly coming around. Every situation is different but PATIENCE is the only thing I can say will help. I wish I knew what her "sign'' is, but the weird coincidence between us is our birthdays are 2 days apart. Her dads is the 14th and her parents anniversary is the 12th which is my birthday.
btw, the hi texts she is sending, shes poking you.. Shes hoping you'll man up and take the reigns, initiating.
I get what you mean CocoKat. She is not your normal female Scorpio. She works 2nd shift so our schedules are difficult so we spend a lot of time talking. Our talks go on forever. I have relentlessly pursued her and i've opened up to her. I send her flowers frequently. She's hard to convince on my intentions. I can't tell if i'm supposed to lay back and give her space or keep repeating myself to her. She's told me she's incapable of being in a serious relationship as i've told her I am. It hasn't kept us from getting closer as up to this latest distance, we were the closest we've been in months. She would flirt, call me her best friend and confides in me more than some of her female friends. I'm just lost as I have gone a couple of days not talking to her. She said a day or so ago she'd call me soon and then I get the texts in between so i'm just hoping she is just going through something that she needs to deal with herself. She hates to get me involved when she's in feeling like this. I try not to take it personal, but it's hard. All I can hope is our closeness and memories that have taken a couple of years to make will be what gets us through this time.
Posted by CocoKatQuick comment- as stated earlier, he constantly messages. I'm not responding right away and responses are short and sweet and straight to the point. I don't initiate any contact but he won't go longer than 2 hours without connecting with me. This is the man who is unsure of commitment. So I'm confused.Posted by KGEYour welcome.Posted by CocoKatI will take this advice. I have my children with me so I don't need to keep it on (in case they needed to get ahold of me). You have settled my mind quite a bit.
the cookiemonsters word starts with a B.
If you are on a break with him or hes not sure right now, don't be so easy to reach, believe me your phone will be blowing up in no time.
Men always love a bit of chase, that's why they always die out the first love interest in male action sequels, they've got to persue again meanwhile we ladies like things a bit more grounded.. haha!]
I don't ever let my men stop chasing me, my scorpio tells me he cant understand why he never fully "has me" 14 years later.click to expand
Posted by TerScor67Got it.
I get what you mean CocoKat. She is not your normal female Scorpio. She works 2nd shift so our schedules are difficult so we spend a lot of time talking. Our talks go on forever. I have relentlessly pursued her and i've opened up to her. I send her flowers frequently. She's hard to convince on my intentions. I can't tell if i'm supposed to lay back and give her space or keep repeating myself to her. She's told me she's incapable of being in a serious relationship as i've told her I am. It hasn't kept us from getting closer as up to this latest distance, we were the closest we've been in months. She would flirt, call me her best friend and confides in me more than some of her female friends. I'm just lost as I have gone a couple of days not talking to her. She said a day or so ago she'd call me soon and then I get the texts in between so i'm just hoping she is just going through something that she needs to deal with herself. She hates to get me involved when she's in feeling like this. I try not to take it personal, but it's hard. All I can hope is our closeness and memories that have taken a couple of years to make will be what gets us through this time.
Well shes 29 so her mind frame is in a different space. I would reach out to her a lot less and date others in the meantime, she is aware of how you feel and its not fair to you to keep you in a state of pursuit or wait. I question her development and compassion. Usually the frontal lobes develop between 25 and 30, she may be a bit behind which would explain her behavior of wanting to keep you around for attention. Even if she has feelings for you, I don't like how shes stringing you along, its really not fair.
Posted by KGEHes not sure where your at either emotionally or in person so keep being busy with your life. He really strung you along by teling you hes not sure about everything and then expecting to spend most of the night talking about it over the phone, knowing you would be in pain.Posted by CocoKatQuick comment- as stated earlier, he constantly messages. I'm not responding right away and responses are short and sweet and straight to the point. I don't initiate any contact but he won't go longer than 2 hours without connecting with me. This is the man who is unsure of commitment. So I'm confused.Posted by KGEYour welcome.Posted by CocoKatI will take this advice. I have my children with me so I don't need to keep it on (in case they needed to get ahold of me). You have settled my mind quite a bit.
the cookiemonsters word starts with a B.
If you are on a break with him or hes not sure right now, don't be so easy to reach, believe me your phone will be blowing up in no time.
Men always love a bit of chase, that's why they always die out the first love interest in male action sequels, they've got to persue again meanwhile we ladies like things a bit more grounded.. haha!]
I don't ever let my men stop chasing me, my scorpio tells me he cant understand why he never fully "has me" 14 years later.click to expand
I would not respond to calls or text after 5pm. Go and date others, respond the next day if you want...
Let him know your not waiting around pining for him, or he'll keep treating you disrespectfully.
If he texts you during the day wait 3-4 hours to respond and keep the response short and sweet. Don't let him think he can "have you" thru texts and be placated. Hes got to ask you out and start courting you again.
Check out the book I recommended, it has great advice.
CocoKat
Which book? Please repost the name.
Which book? Please repost the name.
Why Men love _______ by Sherrie Argov.
It shows you how to prevent bad behavior at the onset.
It shows you how to prevent bad behavior at the onset.
Posted by CocoKatThank you
Why Men love _______ by Sherrie Argov.
It shows you how to prevent bad behavior at the onset.
I would just be careful with playing games and before anyone jumps on this, I'm not saying stand for bad behavior but the Scorpios I know would see this for what it is (especially the waiting on the text responses, i would mix that up so its not so transparent and contrived) and then just mirror this and now each of you are waiting 3- 4 hours to respond with a text and it's a vicious circle. Just my experience for what it's worth. I do agree with stay busy with your life and don't wait around for him. Get out there and have some fun and stop worrying about him and his behavior - take your control back.
Posted by TaurusinTexasShe's simply showing him he is not the center of her existence.
I would just be careful with playing games and before anyone jumps on this, I'm not saying stand for bad behavior but the Scorpios I know would see this for what it is (especially the waiting on the text responses, i would mix that up so its not so transparent and contrived) and then just mirror this and now each of you are waiting 3- 4 hours to respond with a text and it's a vicious circle. Just my experience for what it's worth. I do agree with stay busy with your life and don't wait around for him. Get out there and have some fun and stop worrying about him and his behavior - take your control back.
Why is it ok for this maj to play games like not give a response to being asked out by his girlfriend until the last minute then feeling pressured or trying to break things off then keeping her heartbroken self up all night on the phone to talk thru "his feelings" without any respect for hers... those are games.
they are in a relationship technically still.
Posted by CocoKatYes. In his eyes we are still a couple. Or I think he does.Posted by TaurusinTexasShe's simply showing him he is not the center of her existence.
I would just be careful with playing games and before anyone jumps on this, I'm not saying stand for bad behavior but the Scorpios I know would see this for what it is (especially the waiting on the text responses, i would mix that up so its not so transparent and contrived) and then just mirror this and now each of you are waiting 3- 4 hours to respond with a text and it's a vicious circle. Just my experience for what it's worth. I do agree with stay busy with your life and don't wait around for him. Get out there and have some fun and stop worrying about him and his behavior - take your control back.
Why is it ok for this maj to play games like not give a response to being asked out by his girlfriend until the last minute then feeling pressured or trying to break things off then keeping her heartbroken self up all night on the phone to talk thru "his feelings" without any respect for hers... those are games.
they are in a relationship technically still.
click to expand
Posted by CocoKatI'm not saying it's ok for him, and I'm not saying she should make him the center of her existence. I actually said, get out there and live her life. I'm just sharing my experience with Scorpio men that they will see your games and turn them back around on you and you're going nowhere, except more misery. I'm more of the thought process, tell him and if he doesn't change move on, don't engage in the endless circle.Posted by TaurusinTexasShe's simply showing him he is not the center of her existence.
I would just be careful with playing games and before anyone jumps on this, I'm not saying stand for bad behavior but the Scorpios I know would see this for what it is (especially the waiting on the text responses, i would mix that up so its not so transparent and contrived) and then just mirror this and now each of you are waiting 3- 4 hours to respond with a text and it's a vicious circle. Just my experience for what it's worth. I do agree with stay busy with your life and don't wait around for him. Get out there and have some fun and stop worrying about him and his behavior - take your control back.
Why is it ok for this maj to play games like not give a response to being asked out by his girlfriend until the last minute then feeling pressured or trying to break things off then keeping her heartbroken self up all night on the phone to talk thru "his feelings" without any respect for hers... those are games.
they are in a relationship technically still.
click to expand
Posted by TaurusinTexasThank you everyone for the comments. I think I need to just step back from him. Continue to not initiate communication. Not ask to see him. Not expect to make plans. This week would be our week and weekend together but I won't ask or bring it up. I can't deal with the hot and cold and I'm too old for this. If he is insecure or that jaded from his previous marriage then he needs to work on himself first. I'm not needy or clingy but do need to know that the person I'm with is in a committed relationship. Actions and words need to match. They can't be different.Posted by CocoKatI'm not saying it's ok for him, and I'm not saying she should make him the center of her existence. I actually said, get out there and live her life. I'm just sharing my experience with Scorpio men that they will see your games and turn them back around on you and you're going nowhere, except more misery. I'm more of the thought process, tell him and if he doesn't change move on, don't engage in the endless circle.Posted by TaurusinTexasShe's simply showing him he is not the center of her existence.
I would just be careful with playing games and before anyone jumps on this, I'm not saying stand for bad behavior but the Scorpios I know would see this for what it is (especially the waiting on the text responses, i would mix that up so its not so transparent and contrived) and then just mirror this and now each of you are waiting 3- 4 hours to respond with a text and it's a vicious circle. Just my experience for what it's worth. I do agree with stay busy with your life and don't wait around for him. Get out there and have some fun and stop worrying about him and his behavior - take your control back.
Why is it ok for this maj to play games like not give a response to being asked out by his girlfriend until the last minute then feeling pressured or trying to break things off then keeping her heartbroken self up all night on the phone to talk thru "his feelings" without any respect for hers... those are games.
they are in a relationship technically still.
click to expand
Thank you everyone.
It has come to an end. We saw each other yesterday and I collected all my stuff. Although I'm a little hurt, I feel calm about it.
But he seems odd. He insisted we stay friends. Good friends actually. I refused. I told him that we can't be friends, nor do I intend to even stay in contact with him. He truly seems to think otherwise. Is this typical Scorpio behaviour? I thought they were famous for "cutting someone off".
But he seems odd. He insisted we stay friends. Good friends actually. I refused. I told him that we can't be friends, nor do I intend to even stay in contact with him. He truly seems to think otherwise. Is this typical Scorpio behaviour? I thought they were famous for "cutting someone off".
Posted by FloI have walked away from it. He has messaged me a few times and I am ignoring the messages. He feels that we should be best friends and I want nothing more to do with him. Thank you for your message.
Yeah my ex was doing this.. One moment he wants me to live closer to him (we were 1hr apart) the next, he gets irritated if I try to come over.. Back and forth constantly.
After this last break up, I'm done. He broke up with me because he thought my distance was a sign of me cheating actually I was taking care of my sick grandmother. I blocked him from FB and deleted my account. I don't want him finding me I want someone who knows what they want and treats me right.. It's been a month and half since then. I'm currently talking to a new Scorpio and he is completely different from the last. He's also mature and stable, great guy so far. I hope all works out for you.. It seems your Scorpio needs to be left alone because he obviously doesn't know what he wants, playing too many games.
Know your worth.
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