Confused by scorpio bf behaviour

Hi,

From what I read, my bf is pretty typical as a scorpio. I'm an aries/pisces cusp. Our relationship started out pretty intense. We were both devoted to each other and he wanted to spend every spare moment with me. When that changed, I thought maybe his feelings were changing so I questioned it. Apparently this was the wrong thing to do. I know now that it is normal for Scorpio men to distance, but then I did not. The distancing did not change and in fact, the more I questioned it, the worse it got. Eventually I started to pull back out of fear that he was maybe stringing me along until he found someone else, but when I do, he professes his love etc.

I feel like he has lost some of his feelings. He claims to no longer use affectionate terms with me because he doesn't want me to think of him as false when we eventually live together. I find this odd.

I can be cautious because of previous relationship breakups, but I love this guy intensely. He hides things from me and he says it is to protect me. I kind of believe it, but the things he hides do not make sense (eg. nights out with friends). This stuff would not bother me at all, but I think that he believes it will and that I will get jealous.

We recently had a situation where he was telling me something and there was an obvious lie behind it that I just could not pretend again (in the past I let them all go and ignored it even though it bugs me). I told him when he wants to tell me the whole story honestly then I will be listening. He responded with disappearing. It's been over 2 weeks...perhaps not a long time, but I guess I'm wanting to know whether it's worth waiting or moving on. He did say he wanted to marry me etc. but he also knows that I will not put any stock in that until the proposal/ring are presented.

Truthfully I am cautious about being hurt. I feel that I am 100% devoted to this guy and open to him and of course I'm feeling vulnerable in the face of the distance. It confuses me.

He does have his controlling scorpio tendencies, is very jealous and has admitted that I let him get away with things that he would go crazy over if I did them. I hate that he has his feelings hurt over this...or maybe it's guilt...I don't know, but do you think he will come back and if so, what should I do?

I think I worded that question badly. I guess what I should be asking is what's the best way to handle things. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but it feels sometimes like he has free reign to do whatever he wants, but I have to follow his rules.

Perhaps there is a way to help heal the situation. Please share any ideas, especially if you're a scorpio. I'd love to understand him better so I don't hurt him. I'm worried he may not be coming back.

Never give scorps an ultimatum orrrr let them think you are doubting their intensions with you. A scorpio man is loyal, at least when he is spending that much time with you. Why? Cause his time is very precious and he wont be giving it to you if their wasnt a feeling of love for you. 😉 they are picky. And scorpios arent much of talkers, they connect on a deeper level, through emotions. But when he does speak out intens feelings about you. You better take them damn serious. So when he is giving his time to you but you question him, well, thats kinda a dissapointment and insult to him. My scorp is the same. But i neverrrr ever took his taking a little bit time of as a sign he isnt real with me. Two reasons:
1. After months of daily (on the hour actually) contact if i would complain i didnt speak to him that much any more....wouldnt that be a little bit "spoiled" behaviour 😉 😉 lets face it! How many man are that commited making the first times together so frequently and that intens? We are freaking lucky.
2. I knew already and after a while he told me himself: they neeeed their alone times. To ponder, re invent themself and reload. You have to be able to give him that time without taking it personal. A scorp is a person who forces you to remember: the world doesnt revolve around us. And its not always about us. Sometimes its just about him and hisself. Some find that selfish. Why is that selfish. Dont we kinda do the same 😉

Beat him to the punch
Whenever he gives "coldfront"
You say: its okay honey, you need ya alone time to yourself. Im busy anyway these couple of days. Dont worry, whenever your ready, ill be there. Kiss

Trust me. He'll come back. With the knowledge that no matter what happens, even apart, you two are unbreakable
Thats what he is looking for
If you are not looking for an "forever" "unbreakable" "intens" bond with a man who wants all of you and i mean....all. You body mind and soul, then a scorp is not the man for you
If you are, give him his space and he'll be back 😉

And when you do see him after that time alone, tell him how you feel, dont blame him for things but tell him your most intens feelings on how you feel. If he loves you he will melt awayyyyy. They want to see and feel your true emotions. Saying stuff, texting isnt their thing.....they feel

I think butterfly is star-struck 🙂

Posted by beautifulmountain

We recently had a situation where he was telling me something and there was an obvious lie behind it that I just could not pretend again (in the past I let them all go and ignored it even though it bugs me). I told him when he wants to tell me the whole story honestly then I will be listening. He responded with disappearing. It's been over 2 weeks...perhaps not a long time, but I guess I'm wanting to know whether it's worth waiting or moving on. He did say he wanted to marry me etc. but he also knows that I will not put any stock in that until the proposal/ring are presented.

+1 (bold text) Stick to your guns. Has he done this before? How long have you been dating?

@ Rabbit. Thanks for your comments. I appreciate it. I have left him an email covering all of that if he ever checks it, he will see it. For now, I've backed off and am getting on with my life.

@ Butterfly...Thanks for that insight. I do believe that he would agree with you. I would like to mention though that it's not a case of him spending months of every moment with me and then disappearing and me complaining. I wasn't being selfish. He had his space whenever he needed it, but I didn't really say anything about it for a while. After a while, I became curious and simply questioned it now and then. Sorry if I seemed to come across that way.

@ pathfinder... We have been dating for almost 4 yrs. All in all, things have been good. I just wasn't expecting this distancing thing they do. I am beginning to believe he will come back. I guess I had a bit of anxiety over it. I am just getting on with things now without worrying as much, but anymore insight is definitely welcome as it all helps.

It's simple, you've been with this guy for 4yrs. Either you whole heartedly trust him or you don't. We can't answer that for you. On a different note, it's clear you are not comfortable with the distancing and not being able to talk with him about it without him walking away. If he's not an open book, how can trust be formed? He expects you to just deal with it. Before wasting another year, ask yourself..can you? If the answer is no, it's better to find out now than later. How old are you/he may I ask?

Thanks again for the answers. I don't think I need anymore help. I will just wait now and see what happens and get on with my life. Much love and hugs to all those who gave their time to help. You're great people. Take care.

@beautifullmountain 😉 oh nooo i didnt mean you were being selfish on purpose. But i must say: 4 years?? Yesss to be honoust (and hereby also answering rabbits remark 😉 ) 4 years is wayyyy to long
Scorp or no scorp, i am after a year of daily contact and seeing eachother at the point were i must know: does he wanna be the wishywashy scorp or am i THE queen of the scorpking 😉 as in "he doent need to shout it from the rooftop.....yettt" butttt if he wants me body and soul, he'll have to take control. If i takes control and starts making decisions for me (sounds needy but im allowing him) likeee for instant: i gotten a job offer but im not sure cause i would have to travel an unsafety part of town....and he told me i cant cause he thinks its not safe hahahahahaha and i love it.
Doesnt mean however its all good now. We are still "screening" eachother ghehe
However: 4 yearsss?? And dating, i dont understand that though. You mean are you in a relationship (friends know, you know his family) orrrr just the two of you and no one knows?

Hahaahaha @pathfinder
Im soooooo star struck ......ohhhh the emotions of a scorpio male.....they can destroy you if you dont truly want him .....but he can have all of me.....and i have a sweet adorable HOT man who can see right through me!