Confused! can someone explain?

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His4lyfe10
@His4lyfe10
13 YearsSagittarius

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Ok so since my last post My scorpio and I got into an arguement which was his fault but I ended up entering a part of his personal space that kinda set him off! He stated he wasnt going to come to my house for the weekend like he usually does, and it was to teach me a lesson I guess, well friday he didn't come over but he called and I was agitated he doesnt like me being upset with him so we spoke about the arguement cause he wasnt seeing where I was coming from. He then stated that he wanted to stick to his word about not coming over, but that he loved me too much to do that and that he'd probably be over sat, he also stated that it's time he starts treating me like I should be treated (he's been a little harsh on me) he stated "I guess I was just testing you, and you passed." Well sat came and I hadn't heard from him so I called him and asked if he were coming over, He says no I told you I'm sticking to my word and there's nothing you can do to change that! My question is why would he say what he said friday just to turn around and be mean all over again?
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tiki33
@tiki33
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Oh lord leave the guy alone, he's turning you into a hot ass mess with his Scorp super powers and please stop invading his space, that's desperate behavior and it's not attractive, try stopping the arguing as well, have some self control over you and your emotions, he's winning and your losing and looking like a loser in this as well, not attractive, the Scorp will torture you for being weak minded mentally and emotionally and argumentative, stop that, show some self restraint to create balance where your both winning.

Men that test are insecure, full of drama, high maintenance and a pain in the ass, you can do better, try dating someone whose secure in his own skin and doesn't need affirmation that he's special through testing, the testing crap is his way of controlling and manipulating you to bend to his will which turns you into a hot unattractive mess.
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MrFirebird
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Posted by His4lyfe10
Ok so since my last post My scorpio and I got into an arguement which was his fault but I ended up entering a part of his personal space that kinda set him off! He stated he wasnt going to come to my house for the weekend like he usually does, and it was to teach me a lesson I guess, well friday he didn't come over but he called and I was agitated he doesnt like me being upset with him so we spoke about the arguement cause he wasnt seeing where I was coming from. He then stated that he wanted to stick to his word about not coming over, but that he loved me too much to do that and that he'd probably be over sat, he also stated that it's time he starts treating me like I should be treated (he's been a little harsh on me) he stated "I guess I was just testing you, and you passed." Well sat came and I hadn't heard from him so I called him and asked if he were coming over, He says no I told you I'm sticking to my word and there's nothing you can do to change that! My question is why would he say what he said friday just to turn around and be mean all over again?




He is trying to be a man of his word.
Tempted to go back on his original conviction, then resets to defend his word.
IF He keeps it, he will be pleased with himself, because he kept his word.
It's a good thing, that you see him do this.
Just take the weekend off and enjoy yourself.

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MrFirebird
@MrFirebird
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Posted by tiki33
Oh lord leave the guy alone, he's turning you into a hot ass mess with his Scorp super powers and please stop invading his space, that's desperate behavior and it's not attractive, try stopping the arguing as well, have some self control over you and your emotions, he's winning and your losing and looking like a loser in this as well, not attractive, the Scorp will torture you for being weak minded mentally and emotionally and argumentative, stop that, show some self restraint to create balance where your both winning.

Men that test are insecure, full of drama, high maintenance and a pain in the ass, you can do better, try dating someone whose secure in his own skin and doesn't need affirmation that he's special through testing, the testing crap is his way of controlling and manipulating you to bend to his will which turns you into a hot unattractive mess.



Read my reply tiki.
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MrFirebird
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Posted by His4lyfe10
Thanks Firebird, I spoke with his cousin who is also a scorpio and found out it was his doing he told him to "check" me so that's why he went from wanting to come over to putting his foot down



Sometimes, it's a necessary evil.
While it may be discomforting to you, he is exercising self-control.

But don't think it ends there. No, it surely doesn't.
Sometimes when you least expect it, it will come up, again.
It may be altogether different circumstances - Self-control is
one of the key things to understand about a Scorpio man. He is always
refining, always challenged. It could be temptation of sex, it could be
temptation to murder, it could be temptation to steal, to lie, to cheat.
all these things - For you younger kids, this is akin to those first person
shooter games. You have all these different levels of difficulties,
different, mazes, different goons, different stages of healths and so on.
A Scorpio man's life can be something like that. You can't see it, but within
he always challenged by one thing or another. He ain't a proud prancing pussy like
a leo. He's well entrenched in his own hells that he alone must face.

See my thread about Pluto In Virgo Scorpio Men.
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tiki33
@tiki33
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Posted by His4lyfe10
Thanks Firebird, I spoke with his cousin who is also a scorpio and found out it was his doing he told him to "check" me so that's why he went from wanting to come over to putting his foot down



LOL@"checked me"

How old are these Scorps?

But for the most part you got checked, it is what it is, take Firebirds advice, use the down time to get yourself under control, save your energy, you'll be checked many more times through out your relationship with your Scorpio, you can count on it.
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tiki33
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Posted by R24
That is why I have avoided relationships with scorp males. Because these "tests" and "self control" seem to have more priority than making things work and having happy times.
Saturday could have been a fun day together but no, it was wasted because of the scorp-guy's self-imposed limitations. As a scorpio, I get it (*guilty*). I really do. But it is a trait to be transcended IMO because it hurts others, and when the scorp said he was coming Saturday, that was also "his word." To me, the last word should stand or it looks like inconsistency, indecisiveness, and insanity.



+++1

The gaslighting is crazymaking behavior.
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MrFirebird
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Self-Control is childish——?

The reasons for the "tests" is because women have likely screwed him over.

"tests" ARE not necessarily about controlling you.
It's more about protection. The military is full of tests.
Anyone who doesn't value testing, will also not value the betterment of themselves.


I wonder where people get this BS about tests and control with total disregard as to
the possible reasons why.

I mean... think about it, people!
Would you want a brain surgeon tickling your thinking blob without ever having gone to
school or having passed a test— NO? Why judge a Scorpio Man for doin' the same?
He does this, because you are messing with his head. Wants to make sure you know
what you're doing. 😄

Cluelessness.....

That's a good way to never get close to a Scorpio Man.




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MrFirebird
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Posted by QUlETstorm
Posted by MrFirebird
Self-Control is childish——?

I mean... think about it, people!
Would you want a brain surgeon tickling your thinking blob without ever having gone to
school or having passed a test—






But this is not brain surgery.

We will agree to disagree. As a Scorpio myself, yes I am saying the games and the need to "check her" is childish. It will really be hard to maintain an ADULT relationship while playing games and trying to always "one-up" her. When you think of successful, healthy relationships you think of those with good communication. Not who has the last word or who checked who last etc.

Buffoonery. Idk... Maybe that's why I can't be paired with other scorpios. I think it's ridiculous and a tactic I stopped using myself when I grew up and realized that to experience real love you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Not always in defense mode.
click to expand





"But this is not brain surgery."
Yes it isssssssss!
You know darned good and well that it is every woman's dream or fetish to mess with a man's brain.
When the woman cannot figure him out, it's curtains for him. It's always been that way.
Tickle Tickle, poke, poke... "Does this hurt—", "No? HOW ABOUT NOW!", "You don't listen to me!"
then......., it's "Men...., they are all alike!"

I don't think there is a cure for this sick fetish that all women instinctively have.
A man just lookin' at a woman is vulnerable to the siren.

Trust me, it's a no-brainer (no pun).
Woman: I want a man.
Man: I want a woman.
Woman gets man, man gets woman:
Woman: You're gonna pay for this!!!
Man: I know.





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MrFirebird
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Posted by R24
Posted by MrFirebird
"But this is not brain surgery."
Yes it isssssssss!
You know darned good and well that it is every woman's dream or fetish to mess with a man's brain.
When the woman cannot figure him out, it's curtains for him. It's always been that way.
Tickle Tickle, poke, poke... "Does this hurt—", "No? HOW ABOUT NOW!", "You don't listen to me!"
then......., it's "Men...., they are all alike!"

I don't think there is a cure for this sick fetish that all women instinctively have.
A man just lookin' at a woman is vulnerable to the siren.

Trust me, it's a no-brainer (no pun).
Woman: I want a man.
Man: I want a woman.
Woman gets man, man gets woman:
Woman: You're gonna pay for this!!!
Man: I know.


The above could be vice-versa just as easily. If you hate being vulnerable so much that it makes you have a chauvinistic, misogynistic attitude toward women, then you will likely bring a woman's worst traits to the surface in a relationship. A woman is not gonna respond favorably to your hard-ass-ness, even if she is a good person.
click to expand








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MrFirebird
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Woah there, R2,
Can't let you make assumptions of me and turn around and start a vendetta.
What I am describing is based on negative experiences from a man's perspective, with some veiled humor. -
not about being a male chauvinist.

In a relationship, a difficult position a man can find himself in is a) be a man and b) be a softie.
Part of him will always be that he is a man. Just as much as a man cannot NATURALLY bear children, he
cannot separate those things that make him a man.

Women seem to forget that they fell for their man for certain reasons but what they forget is that
man he was before they met him, is still there - when they discover this, they want to change that.
Sometimes, that cannot be done because that is his lifelong identity. When a woman actively tries
to change the man she fell for, IF she is successful, she will no longer love him - he has changed.
I know it's a two way street. A woman is built more to be family oriented, a man, however, is built to
be more work oriented. When the roles are tweaked severely, whether by the woman or the society in which
they live, it can be devastating for the man's psyche and the woman or women are left wondering what happened
to their man/men.
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MrFirebird
@MrFirebird
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Posted by R24
I have no vendetta MFB. But keep in mind that our sun sign is one of extremes. You don't have to be an extreme softie with a woman and thereby lose your manliness (as in being hen-pecked). But if you take your manliness to extremes, youre just being a hard @ss rather than a good man.

I do think women should respect the male ego and let a man be a man rather than try to emasculate him. You are right in saying that a woman will lose respect for a man that allows this. It is likely that a woman who repeatedly does that in her relationships never really respected men in the first place, or perhaps has some baggage from her childhood.

Likewise, if man is so extreme that he never shows a soft side to the woman he supposedly loves, it seems that he may be insecure about his manliness. A man wants to feel like a man, and a woman can try to enhance that or try to run roughshod over it. But a woman likes to feel womanly too. Part of that comes from feeling loved by, and being special to, her man. Never having a soft-spot for your woman strips her of her feminine power and her feeling of being loved and special to him. Then she will likely turn into a hot mess, then......., it's "Women...., they are all alike!"



What I think is difficult is for the two to understand each other fully. The reason for this difficulty lies in
the fact, that just as there are physical differences, there are psycho/emotional differences as well, that
simply cannot change. I haven't personally set out to pinpoint and identify what exactly those core
differences are, but I think while on the surface, women can do just about anything a man can do, and a man can
do just about anything a woman can do, the two still have some difference neither can emulate. I THINK the reason for
that is that the two actually serve to "COMPLIMENT" each other. Which compliment, is not meant to be disturbed.
Some things women excel at, some things, men excel at. Both should be complimented by each other in their excellence.
A woman sings the melody and a man sings the harmony - Together, the music glorifies the two as a cello and violin
playing a classical work.
I think in that vein of thought, I draw nigh unto understanding the differences between the man and the woman. - yet it is not enough, it doesn't answer the question.
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His4lyfe10
@His4lyfe10
13 YearsSagittarius

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Hey everyone sorry I haven't been on to check this! I'm not sure exactly what to say I see points in almost everyones post.

@firebird- yes it's true he had a pretty rough relationship before me with the mother of his two children she did indeed cheat and tell alot of lies, got him locked up, etc... but that doesn't mean he has to be the way he was towards me, sometimes when he gets in his moods I feel as though he's scorning me for what SHE did to him, you can see the pain she caused as he speaks of it, put another person's actions shouldn't be another person's punishment!

@ Quietstorm- I agree it was childish, I'm not saying I was in the right because we were both wrong!!! but I know he could have handled the situation way different, and to me it's not right to listen to another person as far as your relationship goes because they don't know both sides and what went on! So it should have been my scorps own mind deciding what he was gonna do!

@R24- I agree LOVE shouldn't be a battlefied it's supposed to be blissful in my opinion, yes everyone has opinions and arguements but communication should handle all of that!!! If only he would have communicated none of this would have even happened!