Scorpio Husband / Love Question

Please bare with me it's quite long.
My husband (scorpio - also a scorpio moon,rising sign in libra) and I (Virgo - with libra moon and rising sign in scorpio) have been together for about 6.5 years. We got married this past sept. I wanted space to step back and look at things I needed to change first. (third time I've asked for space and havent gotten it). We've talked about marriage in the past I dont rush into things, the first two times I said no (I was expecting both times and didnt want to have a belly in my wedding pictures) We first dated when I was 16 (he was 17 ... im 24 and he's 25 now). took a break, got back together a year later, and found out I was expecting my ex's child. I told him to go it was my responsability not his. he refused to leave. he ended up taking my daughter in as his own.we have another daughter together. no one knows my oldest is not biologically his as he treats them equally.(and people are usually surprised when they learn they're not biologically related.
Everything was going ok, until he started working at the olympics in Feb. he was coming home when he could and would try to call. a few days in it stopped. I figured he was just extremely busy because they were giving him double shifts and calling him in on his days off. once i saw him take the car so no need to wait for the bus, and i sent him an email asking him to come home because we missed him. He flipped out wrote me a long letter about divorce and moving out (completely out of the blue)
a few days later i came home from work to find a female he claims as a "friend" there.he flipped out because I wasnt as nice as he had wanted me to be (I said hi but kids needed my attention). turns out he met this girl at work (coincidently around the same time he turned into a completely different person!)
said she was coming to our childs bday party so I could —get to know her better?? I said that's not a good idea. I said I wont have time. He brushed me off and brought her anyways.
I was right and it did cause problems among guests there, asking who she was where her kids were and if she didn't have kids why is she there and who brought her.
He ended up moving his stuff out (after I threw some of it out) 2 days later. Seemed to pick her over his family. He's usually very attentive to the kids but he hasn't even really called to say hi.
He had mentioned needing his space, but after mentioning divorce in the sme line (after we agreed we didn't believe in it)

girl home, I figured he wants to go off and see if he could make it work with her.

he had admitted to being unfaithful through out the relationship. Said he did everything except inetercourse. I said I forgave him, he was shocked and got angry and said he didn't believe me and how could I forgive something so horrible when he couldn't even begin to ask for forgiveness or forgive himself.

He had previously commented on how things were my fault, then how it had nothing to do with me. He seemed confused. We took a trip out of town. Things were going ok, but then like a light switch went off and he changed then didn't want me to touch him and started making weird comments. I was about ready to give up. Later he came up behind me and gave me a hug and told me he loved me repeatedly while holding my tightly and he said it so passionately. Then a few hours later he said he didn't love me. Then said he doesn't think he was ever in love with me and if he did love me he wouldn't have done the things he did. Then switched to he did love me then he did only as a friend. Then he said he was just playing with my emotions. Then he said he??d kissed a girl at a club and didn't feel guilt I slapped him (reaction — I did try to stop myself) and I told him I hated him.
he??d also say there were some things he lied about to help me move on. He said I deserved someone who would treat me right and be able to provide)
he made some financial promises he wasn't able to keep, he's felt bad about it I think. This is the third time he's taken off. The frst time to focus on school when we were teens second time after my second child was born. Second time he told me he felt he had nothing to offer, wanted to go out and make something of himself and bring back something to show for it.
When we do business together It's great. But the business we origionally started together — I??d give advice he??d ignore it. Make amistake come back to tell me what I said would happen. Or mentors would tell him the same thing sometimes word for word that I told him and run to me like it was new information! He wouldn't let me help,so I started my own business, he saw it's success and came to help me. An issue was pointed out by mutual friends that I wear the pants, and hes been stripped of his masculinity. (I never noticed this) I did take over when he kept making mistakes, if I hadnt we??d be living on the streets and I couldn't risk that on our kids. I sa

(I??ve seen his leadership skills, and they??re amazing, but he just needs to be able to put them to use in his business and home life) I don't want to have to step back, I need him to step up.
I recently found a lump on my chest. I asked him to check as hes the only other person who knows my body. He felt it, and he cried. He said he was sorry, and felt that he had done this to me by putting me under so much stress. Then he thought he was being punished for his past actions.
I told him it's not his fault. Then he held me and told me he did mean it when he said he loved me passionately on our trip. And he said he couldn't loose me, and we??d get through this.
We've never had an issue in the bedroom.(He actually has a hard time keeping up with me!) I know he's very experimental, and most of the things he's wanted to try I??ve gone along with (except for one, and another one that I wasn't comfortable to going t the extremes that he suggested so we met half way) The bedroom is the only area I'm more flexible and give him control. Though he hasn't been around so it makes me wonder if he's getting it somewhere else. (except for the day where he cried held me and said we??d get through it together, but before that the last time was in mid march!)

He had admitted to seeing dominatrix??s , because he felt numb and needed to feel pain etc.
I asked why he didn't just ask me, and he said he looks at me differently and said im the one that's supposed to love him. (there's been abuse in his childhood that may explain the dominatrix thing)

he?? still wanting his space, I was origionally going to break things off and cut off all communication as of May. But now im confused again. If a scorpio really loves someone, would they do things like this?
I tried to break things off but couldn't after because I was confused, he called because it sounded urgent, and I told him it wsnt the right time. He asked if I found someone else. I said that's not what I waned to talk to you about. He said it was ok if I did, he just wanted me to be happy.
does he really not care if I did go off with someone else? I have never given him any reason not to trust me. I don't flirt with other men, or even look at other men. Most of my friends are guys, and I don't even talk to them much, Ive been trying to establish better relationships with females now instead.
Im just confused on what to do. I know if I leave, the door will be closed for eve

I don't give up easily. But if there is someone else, I don't want him thinking he can hve both a wife and a mistress. I'm loyal and expect the same in return.
Would love to hear from scorpio men/husbands or those dating a virgo.

Posted by Mr Nice
I think you two need relationship counselling, either workout your problems or call it a day, I would of baled out a long time ago for sanity reasons, it just aint worth the headache. If your a virgo find yourself a gemini there your soulmate.

If he cheated on you then you should have be strong and told him to get lost have respect for yourself. Adivce you need to change and get tough with him, tell him if he isnt going to change then its over and stick to it, just let him know your not going to put up with this shit anymore not matter how much you care for him.

You dont want to be in a relationship were the love is only one sided because he dont love otherwise he would not of cheated no matter what crappy reason he give. If you want to make it work then do what I said in the beginning of the post seek help. I am scop by the way we do cheat when we dont love the person we are with its called having your cake and eating it. Peace

If he is willing to go to relationship counseling I would do that. If not go on your own and better yourself. If you feel that there are somethings you need to change about yourself a good counselor will help you. You guys are not communicating like you should. Scorps have a hard time communicating what they need sometimes and by the time it comes out they cant take anymore and shit has hit the fan. The cheating is a no go. I cant believe he had the audacity to introduce you to her, but that's a Scorp when they are in I dont give a fuck mode. You two got married and the least you can do is go to counseling. I would still ask him to leave if he is still there. And you two can still seek counseling, but he needs to go. I say give it all you got with the counseling. I like Dr. Phil (a Virgo no doubt)when he says you should earn your way out of a marriage. Seek the help you need for your marriage. If he continues to act like a 3 year old and does not want to save the marriage, then cut him loose. Just my two cents. I wish you good luck.

If you are doing things that make him feel less of a man, Scorp man is definitely going to turn into a monster. He has to be in control and in charge of the family or at least seem like it. Virgos are controlling, we feel no one can do it better than us, ok to think but to show is not the best at all times. We virgos worry alot, but really loving a person means trusting them. They are never going to be perfect. No one is. You have to let a man be a man. He is the protector, provider and teacher. Then you have children if you are constantly in mommy mode, the husband will begin to feel neglected. You have to make time for each other with no kids. Demasculating a man is the last thing you want to do to them. I dont care the sign. You do it and they will leave and if they stay they will be a piece of shit. No matter what sign they are.

Posted by buttercupSG

Posted by GeorgiaPeach
If you are doing things that make him feel less of a man, Scorp man is definitely going to turn into a monster. He has to be in control and in charge of the family or at least seem like it. Virgos are controlling, we feel no one can do it better than us, ok to think but to show is not the best at all times. We virgos worry alot, but really loving a person means trusting them. They are never going to be perfect. No one is. You have to let a man be a man. He is the protector, provider and teacher. Then you have children if you are constantly in mommy mode, the husband will begin to feel neglected. You have to make time for each other with no kids. Demasculating a man is the last thing you want to do to them. I dont care the sign. You do it and they will leave and if they stay they will be a piece of shit. No matter what sign they are.

With all due respect, GP, "He is the protector, provider and teacher"?? lol he has failed in all there miserably and had the guts to whine and blame the OP. what a wimpy loser i feel i'm too nice to even call him a man (sorry lol). if he wants to take charge, learn to be a man who does what he says and takes accountabilty first. he needs to earn respect before he can take charge. it is not a birth right just because he is born man. let a man be a man? lol. he has to be a man first lol.

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I wa actually speaking of a man's role in a marriage. There are two sides to this story. She is not acting like a wife, either. So she is just as much to blame as he is. If you sift through the fluff you will see that she admitted that her friends say she wears the pants in the marriage and it looked as if he was stripped of his masculinity. So not only does he feel emasculated, the rest of the world knows too. What does a man have if he doesnt have that? She also said she only allows him control in the bedroom. Oh yeah and she slapped him in his face. Do you think that if it was the other way around and he slapped her it would be ok? We would all be telling her to have him put under the jail or to wait til he goes to sleep and bust his head open with an iron skillet.

She is basically treating him like a kid. A man wants a wife, a friend and a lover, not a mother. If he wanted that he couldve married

his mom. And she also said she doesnt trust him because they will be out on the streets. So knowing this info why even get married?

I can say at least it has been brought to her attention by her friends with her own behaviors. Hopefully Virgo will be courageous enough to go seek counseling or some type of help for herself and deal with her issues. Her Scorp has to decide whether or not he will go for his ownsake and deal with his issues. Then work on their relationship.

Wow, I find this strange. Most scorp men I know will stick by the family over all others. Even if things suck in the marriage. (God father, brother and friend all are). I think it isn't worth you staying he has no respect for you or your children.

Posted by aquilascorpiusfemina
DAMN!!!!!!!!!When I read this, it gave me a horrible headache!!!! VirgoLadee, how do you support all this BS—?....Well, I know that it is much easier for me to say this, but I understand that you're still with him because you love him. Arghh but the feelings that you must be going through now are killing me, because I imagined myself being in your situation, and this must be hurting you and humiliating you very deeply. This man does not love you anymore, and don't feel sad because he doesn't!!!I now it's really painful to hear that, but you're a wise Virgo woman that can stand up for yourself! Let this monster go, he does not deserve your unconditional love. A man that loves a woman, does not do all those horrible things he has done to you!!!

He's also playing with your mind and heart, by telling you, he loves you, then that he doesn't, and that it's all your fault, etc...., that's just plain bullshit!!!
He deserves to be ignored completely and be dumped for good by YOU!!!

If you keep on going with this kind of monster, then you'll end up being damaged psychologically.
From what I read, you're are a hard worker and as much brains!!!Think about yourself and your children , not him! Think that, in this situation, you're letting this man take advantage of you because he know you love him. Stop him, don't let him destroy you more....

Another thing that really fed me up ferociously; how could he have the guts to bring his friend with benefit to your place!!!!Just think about that for a minute?....See how he's controlling you, yet rubbing in your face his other woman and plus he knows he's hurting you severely; by his actions!!!

If I was in a situation like that; I'd kill that man psychologically and then let him go and pretend like he never existed.(this will hurt him horribly, trust me) I am sorry, but your situation just boiled me up. I know you love him, but this man does not deserve your love and not be loved from anyone. He's just full of excuses.

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Wow I forgot i posted here! well since then I did move on NOW he's trying to come back with the "I love you's"
and etc. and Now he's trying to go to counselling sessions together. and Now he's claim to realize all i apparently did for him. (yet he went to counselling with her first .. at a church ... funny how that worked)
he came arou

around even more with the kids when he realized i let my oldest's biological dad (Virgo sun-aquarius moon) see her again - i felt she was ready and i tried contacting him to discuss it but he never answered.

He knows I've never badmouthed my ex (he treated me SO well, very respectful brought me flowers, tiny trinkets and actually made me feel appreciated, never let his friends badmouth me or his family and was very respectful of my family - my mom was thrilled to see him back) my youngest (Scorpio's biological child) even started asking to call HIM in the mornings (SHe Never asked to call her own dad she didnt seem to bother with him) as soon as my ex hubby found out, he quickly ran back tried to spend lots of time with the kids, take them shopping (only cuz virgo spoiled them silly first with his playdates and shopping sprees for BOTH kids) virgo even went back to getting me flowers and being very sweet as he's always been. my ex knew i was dating other guys, but didnt seem to bug him enough well the first one did which he questioned me about and i gave him no details (Later i discovered he had broken into my email to see who i was talking to and what about claiming he was "worried" about me)
but it wasnt until he saw my ex return that I saw his true jealousy towards my ex. Never knew it was there until recently.

THough I haven't returned with my virgo ex either, I have dated a few others who are just amazing and i realized there are way wayyyyy better guys out there! (Didnt know so many of the qualities i like are found in one guy let alone lots of them) the more i started feeling like me again - which i hadnt realized i hadnt felt until after i gave myself time, the better quality of guys that i randomly ended up meeting (When I wasnt looking for them!)

I did end up kicking him out real fast as soon as i guess he saw his plan wasnt working (he thought i'd beg him to stay) he wanted back. I had told him to pick or i'd pick for him, he kept trying to come back and forth and when he saw i was still working on things he'd run back because he knows once i made up my mind i dont change it.

Right now he's trying to buy me stuff or what he calls "spoil" as he saw my ex doing it (which he did very well - and im not talking just about spending money - i just mean in other ways as well)
scorpio was like "see i spoil you"
Me: "YOu bought me a burrito ... not exactly what i'd call spoiling??" Now he's trying to pay for all the bills and all the debt

insisting its just cuz "hes nice" buuut I dont trust that one bit.