Seeking insight into Scorpio male behavior

Hello everyone,

I am new here, but so enjoying the wonderful insights and sharing all you Scorpio's have posted. If you could share your experience with me on this situation, I'd be very grateful.

Through a reputable online dating site, I met a Scorpio man, age 50 (I am 46)a month ago. We live in different states. We came to have daily, long IM chats, which led to telephone communication. He totally engulfed me through his Scorpio intensity, charm and all over "over whelmingness". He went deep into philosophical insights, humor, wit and intelligence. I seemed to have struck his fancy in my ability to match him wit for wit, as he's commented how much of a challenge I am and surprised how I can spark his intellect. I know scorps are extremely smart and seek an equal on their level.

We both expressed a deep connection and chemistry, feeling that we have shared profound intimate (not necessarily sexual)feelings and seemed to be developing a great bond. I decided it was time to move this along to see if he wanted to make a meeting in either of our cities. Im just not willing to have an online love/lust relationship. We are both divorced, kids and adult, so its time to pee or get off the pot. In an email, I shared that I like him and do you want to take it to the next level.

He replied immediately, thanking me for my sweet and open letter and would take the weekend to think on it and reply. Apparently, he retreated into his Scorpio shell. He texted me Monday evening that he was sorry he was so busy he couldn't communicate with me. I took that as a blow off and sent a gentle reply saying goodbye. That seemed to shake him, as he sent me several texts back saying I was being unfair, that he wasn't blowing me off, he had a family emergency and that he did want to speak to me and please reply. (This confusing man!)

We spoke the next day, where he shared some intimate history of his past divorce, wife cheating, his acting out to prove his man hood as a result, and how much he likes me and feels the connection, but he is not ready to fall in love right now. And then, he asks if I am willing to continue our friendship to see where it may lead, that he isnt ready now, but one day will be. Boy, does that mess with my mind! Then he asks when can we speak again and he wants to know my thoughts on how I feel about this. Is this his fear of intimacy or commitment? Seems like he wants me on hold, which Im not willing to do.
I appreciate your thoughts!

LadyLeo,

Welcome! Are you sure he's divorced?

the "family emergency" response kinda made me wonder...

I would say wait and see...in other words, Play It By Ear. It might that he is truly having a hard trusting someone else and that would be in no way your fault.

People usually say that when you are not truly interested you don't want to commit, as a Scorpio myself, I don't quite believe that. Why? Because I believe we are lingerers. We have a hard time trusting others. It's easy for us to talk about the superficial stuff...but once we get too deep, we need to take a step back re-assess the situation to see whether or not we are willing to take things further. In his case, he has done that already and he's come with the conclusion that he wanted both of you to keep on getting to know each other because he could see you both together in a near future. Had he not cared about you, let me tell you as a Scorpio and especially over the internet, he could have probably never gotten back to you had he wanted to break it off.

My advice would be take it easy on him, relax, enjoy him slowly giving in to you and slowly revealing personal tids and bits of information about him.

If that can help, I have been sorting things out with a prospect for the past few months...god knows he has told me in many ways that he cared about him, I am just not ready but because I truly care for him and could see us together sometime I keep him close to my heart, we talk everyday and hang out very often.

Hope this helps.
Take care
A scorp with a sagi moon.

Pathfinder makes a good point.

However - he obviously VERY MUCH VALUES your friendship
and is quite concerned about losing that, either through
you not being interested in him physically, then DITCHING
him....( much easier to blow you off than risk that )

and probably he is very shy in person and may not
"make the moves on you" that you want made
if you don't take the lead there.


So ... I think you should just tell him that he got
you interested ... so now ... he owes you at least
a try... and that the worst thing that can happen
( we need to know the risks ) is that it doesn't work,
but since you live so far apart that it will be easy
to make excuses....BUT ... YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY
YOUNGER ... SO... WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING
TALKING TO THIS WOMAN YOU MET ON A DATING SITE
AND GETTING ME INTERESTED IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DATE ME?

Just kick his ass and push him through his fear.

@ FG,

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING TALKING TO THIS WOMAN YOU MET ON A DATING SITE AND GETTING ME INTERESTED IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DATE ME"

Indeed, what is he waiting for? He's mature enough to do something.

again, makes me think he's married or in a (rocky or not happy) relationship ...

but then, I don't know what would make a mature (50) scorpio cheat ...

so maybe he's not where he wants to be in other areas of his life to start a relationship. Plus, LDRs aren't their strong point if they are truly into you.

Thanks for such insightful replies. Yes I am sure he is divorced (he is a public person, internet makes it easy to check him out to be legit). He explained the family emergency in detail and that too checks out. Not feeling he is deceitful, just not fully trusting, and fearful. I have seen him be very passionate, slightly jealous, possessive and testing of me.

He'd make comments about other men to see how Id react, as if I had interest in others. I sent him a photo of myself, taken outside at my schools college (nothing risque) and he wanted to know who took it. The jealousy/possessive stuff doesnt bother me, its to be expected with a scorp. Took him long time to reveal personal things, and honestly, he was smothering me with his intensity and extreme interest, though the more I read about scorpios, the less fearful I was. Recently, he had to appear before a live tv program, sent me a text telling me where to go to watch it. He wanted me to see him in his glory. I did, of course! I told him I saw him and he replied that he had positioned himself strategically in front of the camera so I would see him....that scorpio ego...gotta love it!

Posted by ScorpSage
IWhy? Because I believe we are lingerers. We have a hard time trusting others. It's easy for us to talk about the superficial stuff...but once we get too deep, we need to take a step back re-assess the situation to see whether or not we are willing to take things further. In his case, he has done that already and he's come with the conclusion that he wanted both of you to keep on getting to know each other because he could see you both together in a near future. Had he not cared about you, let me tell you as a Scorpio and especially over the internet, he could have probably never gotten back to you had he wanted to break it off.
.

Thank you for your experience, ScorpSage...makes alot of sense, especially the superficial comment. Ive noticed that in texts/emails/IM's, he is as real, deep, honest and emotive as anyone Ive known. But when we began phone communication, Adios Mio!, he was nervous, hesitant and almost mute at first. He told me the first time before he called that he was nervous to call me, like a school child. It was difficult to get past superficial conversations at first, he didnt want to reveal much at all. Eventually he opened up about his family etc. I do think when I hit him up with the idea of meeting,he retreated deeply, and wanted to speak thru IM's and specifically asked if that was ok. I agreed, to give him space.

Oh heres the funny part....public speaking is part of his occupation, I have seen him in action and he is quite literate, articulate and very well spoken. Just not in his personal love life! Thanks for sharing about your experience with your new love, I appreciate hearing how scorps think! Tell me more!

Hey Scorpiopics...you give me the giggles...thanks! I do think he values me, he has shown it in many ways. Funny you should mention him physically. He has made a few self depricating comments about his appearance, body not as good as it could be, and many more comments such as "I know why Im interested in you, but why are YOU interested in me?". He drops slightly manipulative hints which require me to give a compliment to him, like his ego needs to be stroked. I have responded appropraitely with the truth, which is complimentary. As a leo, it is not MY norm to be doing the complimenting, I usually seek that lime light, but as a somewhat emotionally healthy gal, I had no problem stroking him, as he strokes me through his hot scorp compliments, gestures and generosity.

He does appear somewhat shy on the phone, in texts/IMs he's as brave as a solider and lets alot of stuff out. I did ask myself the same question why was he on a dating site ifhe doesnt want to move forward. Neither of us expected to meet someone so far away (1500 miles) so its new to us. But the connection has been intense, and Im thinking he's scared and needs to do some introspection. I have been gentle with him and very supportive with his family crisis (Which happens to be a situation I have endured myself)so I have been very empathetic.

Great advice, all. Thank you. I will be taking it.I have only had a text exchange with him as he has had to take his child to a treatment center (that was the family emergency). He is obviously under great stress and fear with that. I just texted that I was praying for them all and offer my support. I will wait to hear from him when he is ready.

I would love some more insight into this Venus Retrograde, I find it very interesting since it is in mode now.

Express that you appreciate that he puts his children
before all other things.

Express that you will be patient and understanding
through this situation that must take priority.

Express that when (if? - I don't know if it will be
a LONG one - such as if the child has cancer (??))
it is resolved, you will try again to connect with him

Express that you did join the dating site for meeting
someone and dating them - and that he has been the one
who has captured your interest ...

... but that it would be unfair to make you wait
since he, by virtue of being on a dating site
and conversing with you for so long, led you to
believe that he was "ready to date SOMEONE"
so it would be appreciated that if he cannot foresee
meeting with you in the next month, that HE make the
choice to break things off completely so that he won't
hate you when you move on with someone else"

- and yes, you should tell him that straight out
and do so knowing that it may happen.

See ... a Scorpio can keep you hanging on for months
or years - breaking meetings for good solid reasons
and wasting your life.

Give him the motivation to either STEP UP or FUCK OFF.