capri stuck between taurus bf and scorpio MIL...

whats my future being a capricorn girl, deeply in love with a taurus guy and a mom-in-law that absolutely dislikes me?!

yes u might say she has no say in it, if i and my taurus r adults but unfortunately the un-american society i belong too dont live that way. And to make it worse my taurus bf is too afraid of his mom and loves her just about as much as he loves me, which creates most of the dilemmas he goes thru to plz me and his mom at the same time!

im posting this question in a taurus forum cuz my main attention is towards my taurus bf. i want him and i want it to work out somehow without his mom distracting him...

whats ur verdict? is there hope for me— im all ears...

I dated a Gemini dude like that once. I know this isn't exactly what you may want to hear, but I don't give advice...
See, his mom wanted certain thing for him in his life and I didn't fit that description. So, he was forced to make a decision...and she won. Not trying to scare you, but it takes a strong man to stand up to his mother (respectfully), depending on how big a role she plays in his life. He did, but eventually decided that making his mother happy meant more to him than I did. Eh, you win some, you lose some. But the point is, he was left to decide. And that is what you will have to do...wait or leave. Or you could try to talk to the MIL. Say something like, I would like to try to have a relationship w/ you because I love your son. Just try different ways to ease the situation and tension between him and the MIL...I'm sure he is stressed too..

By the way, why doesn't the MIL like you? I'm a scorpio female too...and I know that it would take a certain amount of misgivings for me not to like someone...not saying you did anything..just wondering...why? If you don't mind..

😢 wish there was some hope..

i feel very insecure lately cuz his Scorpio mom is pushing him to marry some other girl but he is denying it. his mom has some clue that hes dating me and he wants to marry me but my Taurus has not come out and told his mom clearly about me. when his mom calls him on the phone he makes sure that i dont make any noise to create any doubts for his mom to think hes with someone...

for example, i will cook for him and he will flat out lie to his mom on the phone that he ate out for lunch to cover up the fact that he is around me. i feel like im doing a sin that needs to be hidden from her, for loving her son...

well, first thing, his mom is a staunch catholic lady...im not

im older than my Taurus

i am divorced, my bf is single and never married before.

i have a daughter from my previous marriage.

she dont want her young son to be hanging out with a girl like me that dont belong to his community, religion or match his age and on top of it comes with a daughter from her previous marriage.

she is very conservative/orthodox type...she sees all the above mentioned facts as "flaws" in me , no matter how much i respect her and love her son...i met her once and she was very ignorant and distant to me...

In my humble opinion, you should ask him what's up? Is there some type of arranged marriage thing going on? Maybe you should ask him to tell his mother. Be a man and put his foot down. Like, if he really cared, he would.
There is still hope, so don't be down about that. You are still around, cooking, hanging out, even though you have to be quiet. Maybe tell him it's hurting you that you have to be so secretive about your relationship. Have you even told him this?
Also, is there a way you can mend the relationship with the MIL so that she can be more accepting of you?

This seems bleak for you. I don't foresee him stepping up to his mom...This has to be really hard for you, if you ignore what's going on then your enabling and allowing yourself to be invisible, if you speak up about it then you force him to choose and most likely mom and religion will win.

Ohh...the doting mother...
This is going to be tough. AND she is a scorpio...hmmm
You can't be overly nice, because she will see through it and you can't be too distant because she will think you don't give a damn and you are trying to corrupt her son.
See, I like the truth, no matter how much it hurts. I like to know. That way, I can deal with things a lot better and have a clear idea of where the person is coming from...
Do you think your bf would be willing to go with you to tell her about the relationship and tell her that, despite the mistakes that you have made (if you want to call them that) that you care deeply for him and know that he is the one for you?
He is going to have to help you through this, after all, it is HIS mother and he knows her best.
You cant keep this a secret for long. She is going to find out and it's going to get worse. That's what we do. Deep down, mother knows...
I would suggest that you talk to her. Be straight up and honest, respectfully. No matter what she says, how she says it, be respectful. Try that, but make sure he is there. Ask her what it would take to earn her respect. You may not like the answer, but at least you will know where she is coming from and you can start building from there. Right now, it's just speculation as to WHY she doesn't really care for you. You need to hear it from her. Then make sure that she knows you care about her son.
You definitely have to put yourself in her shoes though and understand why. But state your case. She may not care for you, but she will have no choice but to respect you, especially for doing something her son can't right now.

Very wise suggestion imghost79

IMO and it's just an opinion...The son has a lot to do with how his mother receives the woman in his life. If he's not promoting her up to his mom then it's complicated, for example if he let's his mom devalue her worth and chooses to say nothing whilst his mom talks down about her it's like saying I agree with you mom so mom pursues what she deems a more quality woman for her son and that's not fair to widcap...The son has to speak up at some point or it really doesn't matter how she chooses to approach the situation with his mom, the end result most likely will be her creating problems to pull them apart or flat out forcing him to choose and mom will most likely win.

wipcap

@ tiki: exactly.

i have tried to ask him about "us" but he says ,"definitely i want to see us together but i dont want to promise anything.I have nothing to offer to a lady in my life right now."

his family tried to arrange his marriage. he refused both times and his entire family is now not talking to him for not marrying the girl they got for him. now only his mom dad call him and they r upset with him too so they dont call as often. which kind of disappoints him ...n i feel that im the cause of it all. but slowly-slowly his family seems to be calling him on the phone...none of his family lives in the little town we live in and his parents live out of the country, a good distance away.

he has told his mom dad that he is dating someone right now. his mom has met me once when she came to visit him n she instantly started questioning him about me. he denied everything between me and him except for friendship. seems like it didnt take her more than a minute to see thru his lies and my heart that beats for her son.

i have tried many times but nothing good comes out of pushing my bf to do anything that hes not ready for...he will change topics / get more upset / walk totally out of the scene for me to figure out the answer to my question myself!


i have told him it hurts my feelings to keep myself as his secret to which he just hugged me and said , " i know baby...but i've told my parents im seeing a girl right now and they know its u." if i ask him, then why i have to be quite when his mom calls, he gets frustrated.

i feel awkward picking up the phone and introducing myself to his mom as someone that loves his son and wants to be with him. and to be honest , his mom does intimidate me quite a bit..

i know one thing for sure about my bf, "no one can push him into anything!!!"...even if he is about to do something and u push him into doing it faster he will only get slower at it or he will take completely the opposite direction of where ever u want him to go to...his family pushed to get married and he just did not budge about his decision to not marry anyone right now.

now his family is being really sweet and mellow and calling him to visit them and such...his dad also said he would like to visit him...i feel now his family is playing the slow game of making him feel not pushed but eventually marry someone they want him to. he recognizes that but every time his family is around he wont stay in contact with me much and only text me more often. last time he visited his family he came and told me he was almost ready to get married but i guess that was something he only thought of without expressing it to his family.

UPDATE...

now i have another problem??_after all the things he talked about of what life would be in future with him today he gets a call from his dad who lives outside usa, wanting to come visit him for a couple of months. he tells me he had an uneasy feeling of him coming here to visit. i asked why, and he says, cuz he would have to stay away from me and i cant come around him while his dad is here. i said well, what will happen if he knows, we r going to get together and be married one day anyways. and he says,?? i cant marry u if my family dont accept u. my dad is the first person i would talk to n go from there cuz my dad is smart and he will show me a better picture of what i can look forward to in future if i married u.??

that totally breaks my heart. his dad has never met me , how can he tell if im good for him or not?!

his dad is a sagi. does anyone know how male sagi and female capricorn get along? i want to plz his dad if not his mom...what shall i do?

Looks like theres nothing you yourself can do to progress things or make things better. You'll just have to wait and see if this can work or not.

hold on...my bf did take me to his house to meet his mom when she came here for a visit in usa. he introduced me as his friend. the problem is that she dint show much interest towards me cuz she is aware that her son usually always has a girl he hangs out with. its different in my case(he wants to marry me) but she dont know it and he dint tell her.

and now that his dad is looking forward to visit him, he has told me that he will talk to him about me. but he says he will talk to his dad about wanting to marry me and let me visit him too and from there he will have to go with what his dad says about me...

he has done nothing but been there for me. and i believed him when he talked about how he would like to propose me, how we would work out our financial issues in the future and what he expects out of our married life. he respected my desires and in 2yrs never asked to have sex with me. how can i not take him serious? i just dont get it why all of a sudden what his family says or dad wants is more important than all he ever told me about us being together.

do Taurus guys usually let go of their love to please their parents?

Your fighting a losing battle...
Sorry, but let them both go

i had a couple chances recently to seriously talk to him.

i told him if he wants to choose his family over me its ok with me. honestly, i want someone who finds me worthy enough to fight for me against all odds and if he cant its ok. it might hurt now but i will be ok later. but when i told him he can choose his family over me, he hugged me tight and said," im really trying hard. i cant live without u. cant let u go. plz hang in there if u can."

his actions and words leave me into a huge confusion. he gives very mixed signals. i definitely know that he loves me very much but i dont know if he has the courage to go against his family's wishes and marry me or even talk about me. it came down to him and i, both needing to save on some money and he asked me to share his apartment and divide the living expenses. i told him what if ur parents come to visit u? and he said , they wont like it but he is ready to do it.

recently in another incident he got very upset when i told him he wasnt giving his all in the relationship and in anger he threw his phone on the floor and broke it. i told him i dont need to be with him anymore if it makes him so violent and angry and he had tears in his eyes, apologizing over and over again, saying he never should have got so angry, i didnt deserve it.that he can give his 100% only to one standing next to him in the alter, so i need to just hang in there if i can. again saying that he cant live without me and he is trying hard to make it work...so on and so forth

what do i make of all this? i cant tell if hes just needy or is really trying.

ur input and opinions are very welcome and helpful...thanks...it is hard for me going thru this...