I don't want to lose my taurean woman

Hi all, I am a Leo and I have been speaking to a Taurean woman for the past 4-5 months, to cut a long story short, she was very shy in the beginning, but since then she finds it hard to express her feelings to me, but does it in her own little way. Everything has moved along relatively smooth, and we have grown close, we think a like, and both want the same thing. We've had a few disagreements, mainly to do with my blunt honesty and yes, she has a real temper, and a lot of pride like me too.

Anyway this week has been very strange, she's been having a bit of trouble at work, but I don't think work is the main reason for why she has given me the feeling that she wants some distance. Out of nowhere she has told me that "maybe its better if I don't waste your time, I've got a few things to solve first, and I will not have as much time for you as before" she then said "I don't think I will be able to give you what you expect at the moment" "Sorry I hope you understand" She then asked me "Do you understand?" She then told me "I meant all of what I said before(the way she felt about me), my heart has not changed" She told me that I could find a much better woman than her, she knows that she will regret her decision, but but she's doing it for me. Then if I wasn't already confused she said "I know I will come back to you, when a lot of things are clearer for me, you will just have to let me know, if you still want me or not" then she said "I still like you, nothing has changed, I'm lost and scared, I just don't have time to think about someone else"

I would like to have feedback from anyone especially some taurean women, on how I am to proceed, because I don't want to lose her. Do I give her space and hope she comes back or do I reassure her that she is the one for me and I don't want anybody else? It was only 2 weeks ago when she told me that, she had a strange feeling inside her that she had never felt before, to be honest I think she's scared that she's falling in love, maybe too quick. but I do feel the exact same way about her. I would just like to understand her thinking and what see wants from me at this moment in time.

She is terrified she's falling in love with you. It is an immense step for a Taurus to do this. We want everything. To fall is to give over power to someone else. Open yourself up to hurt. We want all of someone. Every bit. Give her space to think, but reassure her of your caring and devotion.
Good luck to you, and this Tau is hoping she's not off the mark. I'm sure the other ladies will chime in to give their points of view. 🙂

Venusianbull & Aphrodite Bull thanks for you're comments so far, both of you have been on point with your advice. I will take everything on-board that you've said, and will let you know what happens.

🙂 🙂

Posted by Zion
we have grown close, we think a like, and both want the same thing. We've had a few disagreements, mainly to do with my blunt honesty and yes, she has a real temper, and a lot of pride like me too.

VERY similiar to my prior Leo relationship. I don't know how much you have expressed to her about YOUR feelings, but she doesn't want to be the one to put herself on the line first because she has "a lot of pride like me too," so if you are holding back with her, she is going to sense and feel that, and in turn, she is going to hold back from you.As VB and AB have indicated, she IS falling in love with you, but for some reason she is holding back. Perhaps she doesn't feel that you are in the same place that she is...again, I don't know her, and I can only go off of what you've said here.

Posted by Zion
Out of nowhere she has told me that "maybe its better if I don't waste your time, I've got a few things to solve first, and I will not have as much time for you as before"

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She is giving you an "out." She's said, "Maybe it's better if I don't waste your time." While it may be annoying to you, I believe she is wanting you to ASSURE her that she isn't a waste of time, and that you WANT to be with her. She's not going to beg you to stay, but she wants to know if you are going to be in this thing for the long haul. Since she has a lot of pride, she isn't going to say that, but she is going to give you every conceivable way out so that if you stay, she'll know it's because you WANT to be with her.

Also, as Aphrodite Bull said, if it's a financial situation that she's going through, she isn't going to tell you about it. As much as we get kicked around with being called "gold diggers," I've found that (speaking for myself), I have a certain way about my life and the way I carry myself, so regardless if I have .010 in the bank or 1 mil, I am NOT going to get into any of that with anybody; especially if it's somebody that's not going to be there for the long haul. I too, have distanced myself from people when I've been going through my own personal things. If she's anything like me (and likely other Tau women) her sense of pride isn't going to allow her to just divulge all of her personal issues to someone she's only known a few months. At least, I know I haven't and wouldn't.

Posted by Aphrodite Bull

Posted by Zion
Do I give her space and hope she comes back or do I reassure her that she is the one for me and I don't want anybody else?

Give her space. When a Bullette is conflicted she needs space for some clariity. This can only be accomplished through handling dilemmas as they come...one at a time.

ADVICE: Give the Bullette her space, but check in with her from time to time to offer emotional encouragement. She will be eternally loyal to you for that exact same reason.

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Absolutely! Give her the space she's asking for, but don't disappear! Let her know that you are only a phone call away and that you are there if/when she wants to talk, and definitely check in with her periodically too, as that will go a long way to proving to her that you are not just bailing at the first sign of trouble!

Posted by Aphrodite Bull

I absolutely hate it when we're described in that manner. Honestly, I can't name one Taurean who has that Trait. The ones I know are all GIVERS! If I am having a financial issue...I'm actually blocking everyone out of my life and figuring out ways to resolve them, on MY own. I communicate to NO ONE about my financial issues!

WORD!! I know, it chaps my hide too! I am a naturally private person anyway, so when I hear that crap it pisses me off! Just because you make like things or have exceptional taste or saveur fare, does NOT equate to being a gold digger. I will be the first to admit that I've been fortunate in my dating realm, and have always fared very well in the gift category; however, those parties are getting the same, if not better treatment from me!

*back to not hi-jacking this thread with my gold digging rants! * LOL

Posted by Aphrodite Bull

if it's a financial situation that she's going through, she isn't going to tell you about it. As much as we get kicked around with being called "gold diggers," I've found that (speaking for myself), I have a certain way about my life and the way I carry myself, so regardless if I have .010 in the bank or 1 mil, I am NOT going to get into any of that with anybody; especially if it's somebody that's not going to be there for the long haul.

I have no idea where that perception of Taurean women being gold-diggers came from. I absolutely hate it when we're described in that manner. Honestly, I can't name one Taurean who has that Trait. The ones I know are all GIVERS! If I am having a financial issue, I am not looking for the next available 'Sugar Daddy' to bail me out....I'm actually blocking everyone out of my life and figuring out ways to resolve them, on MY own. I communicate to NO ONE about my financial issues!



I'd just like to add, my Taurean woman has not shown me any signs of being a gold-digger, she knows about my business, I drive a nice car, I have a nice house, so I cant see it myself. On the other hand, I met a Gemini woman shortly before, everything was normal before I told her about my job, then it all changed, she constantly told me she was had no money! to "I had to sell my car to pay a debt, but I need one" everything you could imagine she tried, just to get me to part with my cash. what a big mistake she made, being a Leo I'm generous, if she had told me in a slightly different way I would have helped her out, but she was way too direct and strange for my liking, and lied way too much

Exactly. If anything else we cheer someone on in finance. Know some damned fine ways to keep the budget within reason. Will give input about business to further it along. I for one am not impressed by someones bankbook. I am interested in the person. If you have it, great, if you don't..that's great too. Being a good human, and a real one is where it's at.

Ugh, I have a friend like that who will CONSTANTLY talk about how broke she is...blah, blah, blah. YET, she always is out shopping, etc. I don't judge, cause I don't give two s@ $ ts if she's shopping or not since I'm not paying for it, but if I were a guy dating her, I would probably have to tell her to shut it, cause I wouldn't be buying that crap! LOL. It's so annoying to listen to that drivel. Noboby cares (well, I don't - ha!).

USCTaurusGal I understand what you're saying, but If its the only thing I've done, it was to be honest with her from the start, I'm 500% certain that she knows exactly what my feelings are towards her, I've never been one to have any trouble telling anyone what my feelings are, whether good or bad. The other day I told her all of the times that I had thought about her throughout the day, she asked me if I found it easy to talk about my feelings, I told her yes, because I simply say what my heart feels, because my heart never lies. I find it extremely hard to hide my feelings and to lie to people, but always find it easier to tell the truth and to express my feelings freely.

I would agree that she could be giving me an 'out', we've both done that to each other a few times. I had the feeling that we were getting closer emotionally, and I didn't want her to get hurt. I had just come out of a relationship after almost 15 years, I have 2 children with my ex partner, and I explained to her that things maybe difficult for the both of us in the beginning, because its never easy when you have children from another relationship, add to that her possessiveness which I'm cool with because its a trust thing with her, and I'm a loyal cat, I never stray. Anyway I explained to her that, if we could find a balance, and we could make it through the difficult times, she could expect us to be together for a very long time, because once I'm in a relationship, I'm very committed to making it work, because I hate to fail at anything, if she's not prepared for the long haul, I would understand if she wanted out, but she has always convinced me that once she fell in love with the right person, and she wasn't hurt by them, she would never leave, she said she would stand right beside me to support me with the children and my ex. This is what has confused me, because up until now, without going into too much detail, she has showed me that she has incredible strength, I feel comfortable telling her everything, and I mean everything about my children who I am very protective of, and now all of sudden she says she is scared and lost.

If it is financial thing I could understand a little, but for me its not a reason to create a distance. From the beginning I've laid all my cards on the table, I've talked about my kids and their mother, my business, my family, legal issues, absolutely everything, even down to my temper and my stubbornness which she matches...almost, we even agreed that its inevitable that we will clash at times, because of our strong personalities, but if we can learn the lessons as we go, it wouldn't be easy, but we should be ok. So I find it really hard to understand, that she might be going through something that she doesn't want to share with me.... maybe its to do with her pride.

Posted by Zion
If it is financial thing I could understand a little, but for me its not a reason to create a distance... maybe its to do with her pride.

That's just it. You can't understand that a financial situation (or any problem(s) she may be currently facing) would create distance, but at this point, it's not about you, it's about her. She is in protective mode - for whatever reason. I'm not doubting what you've stated; especially if you are saying you have been up front with her about everything, but remember, you are two different people. The way YOU may react to something is not necessarily the same way SHE is/will react to something. It may seem trivial to you, but pride is a big, big thing. I know for myself, I don't want ANYBODY'S help when I'm working through something. It takes a person a long time to get where I would disclose personal problems and issues to them. I was with my ex-fiance for several years before he even ever saw me cry. Again, I can only go off of what you are saying, but what I can say is that if she said she would be there by your side w/your children (even with their being the children's mother issues that could possibly come up) - she would be there. Tau's are pretty much "ride or die," so what she said to you I would take that to the bank.

As cutibullie pointed out, perhaps the time away will be good for both of you to really think about your relationship. Yes, I can tell you are very passionate about this woman, and feel strongly towards her, and I'm sure she feels the same; however, from where I sit, a few months is not a long time to know somebody and just throw all the cards on the table about fears, insecurities, etc. BUT, that's just my perspective.

their = "there" (EDIT BUTTON MR. DXP)

As an aside, speaking from a fellow Taurus who was all about a Leo for awhile - we respect your honesty (even if sometimes it's brutal 🙂 ) because we know when you say something you mean it, and that definitely resonates with us.

And Zion, my post wasn't directed at you. Sometimes I just think my thinks and jot them down in my own little world. 🙂

USCTaurusGal, Yes I find it hard to understand, because I like to help everyone and she knows that, but I can see quite clearly that she doesn't want my help, that's what bothers me more. I'm full of pride I never thought I'd meet a woman with as much pride as me. If she thinks I'm going to bail out or lose interest in her because she's created a distance, she better think again! I'm willing to sit this out for as long as it takes, she was a challenge for me in the beginning, and she knows that. For me I have the determination and staying power of no other, I'll never quit, so I can wait for as long as it takes. All she has done now in my eyes is create another challenge for me, so I have no problem in waiting 3,6 or even 9 months for her to surface again providing I know she is still interested in the meantime.

Posted by Zion
I like to help everyone and she knows that, but I can see quite clearly that she doesn't want my help, that's what bothers me more.

That is an admirable trait, but remember, everybody may not always want that help - even when it's offered in good faith.

Posted by Zion
she was a challenge for me in the beginning, and she knows that. For me I have the determination and staying power of no other, I'll never quit

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Again, an admirable quality, but please do not make this into a "game" per se. I'm not implying that you are, but just make sure you are wanting this relationship because you want HER and want to be with HER and not because it's been a challenge. I've seen this happen to many people, and once they "get" the prize, then they are on to their next challenge, and trust me, a Tau woman (and probably any other woman) does NOT want to just be a prize that is captured and then put on a shelf or stuck in a cave while you go out and capture your next prey. I'm not saying that's your intention, but just be careful with the challenge aspect, as it can get tricky.

Posted by USCTaurusGal
As an aside, speaking from a fellow Taurus who was all about a Leo for awhile - we respect your honesty (even if sometimes it's brutal 🙂 ) because we know when you say something you mean it, and that definitely resonates with us.

Yes I can be brutally honest, and I have been with her, she's told me that sometimes what I say hurts, which I know, but I don't mean to hurt anyone on purpose, but she does respect my honesty.

Tell me something, do you taurean's like to be challenged by someone, to do something that you might not want to do? I challanged her to stop smoking, because of long-term health reason, and she told me she would, she said she had a book she was going to read that would help her, I knew she was just trying to get out of it, so I told her if she really wanted to stop she would stop without reading any book, all it takes is a strong willpower, she proceed to tell me to stop challenging her, I said why? she said because your making me do something I don't want to do right now, but forget it because now you've done it! I'm going to stop right now! She was so angry, I could literately feel her boiling over, so I quickly said, I'm joking, I just wanted to know if you would rise to my challenge, within no time at all she was completely calm, and said she would read the book to help her quit. I told her read the book, but I want to help you quit because if you do quit it has to be for good.

Even with my above comment, I doubt your relationship will ever be boring and common, as Leo and Taurus have similar traits (loyalty, enjoys nice things, prideful), BUT, they have traits that also make them butt heads, but if both are respectful of one another they can be worked through. Leo men (in my limited experience), if they like you, they have a way of getting in your head. It's good, and bad. I think it's because they really watch you and try to figure you out; even when you don't know they are doing that. It was a bit disconcerting to me in my relationship, but it also intrigued me that this person just "got me" early on in our relationship. That doesn't happen very often (to me anyway).
Good luck Zion with your Taurus. I do hope it works for you both!

Posted by Zion

Posted by USCTaurusGal
As an aside, speaking from a fellow Taurus who was all about a Leo for awhile - we respect your honesty (even if sometimes it's brutal 🙂 ) because we know when you say something you mean it, and that definitely resonates with us.

Yes I can be brutally honest, and I have been with her, she's told me that sometimes what I say hurts, which I know, but I don't mean to hurt anyone on purpose, but she does respect my honesty.

Tell me something, do you taurean's like to be challenged by someone, to do something that you might not want to do? I challanged her to stop smoking, because of long-term health reason, and she told me she would, she said she had a book she was going to read that would help her, I knew she was just trying to get out of it, so I told her if she really wanted to stop she would stop without reading any book, all it takes is a strong willpower, she proceed to tell me to stop challenging her, I said why? she said because your making me do something I don't want to do right now, but forget it because now you've done it! I'm going to stop right now! She was so angry, I could literately feel her boiling over, so I quickly said, I'm joking, I just wanted to know if you would rise to my challenge, within no time at all she was completely calm, and said she would read the book to help her quit. I told her read the book, but I want to help you quit because if you do quit it has to be for good.

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There is a thin line between being challenged and feeling like someone is telling/dictating to you what to do. I don't want ANYBODY (even my mother whom I respect dearly) telling me what to do. With that being said, given the pride thing if you push her, she will do it just to prove that she can (because we like to prove people wrong when they think they have us backed into a corner), but I would caution against that, because it could begin some underlying resentment. Meaning, if she thinks you don't love/accept her for who she is (despite her smoking or whatever issue) it can become a problem in the future. Tau's have long memories.

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by Zion
I like to help everyone and she knows that, but I can see quite clearly that she doesn't want my help, that's what bothers me more.

That is an admirable trait, but remember, everybody may not always want that help - even when it's offered in good faith.

Posted by Zion
she was a challenge for me in the beginning, and she knows that. For me I have the determination and staying power of no other, I'll never quit

Again, an admirable quality, but please do not make this into a "game" per se. I'm not implying that you are, but just make sure you are wanting this relationship because you want HER and want to be with HER and not because it's been a challenge. I've seen this happen to many people, and once they "get" the prize, then they are on to their next challenge, and trust me, a Tau woman (and probably any other woman) does NOT want to just be a prize that is captured and then put on a shelf or stuck in a cave while you go out and capture your next prey. I'm not saying that's your intention, but just be careful with the challenge aspect, as it can get tricky.

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I understand what you are saying, all I'm saying is where some people would lose interest, I don't. Yes she has been a challenge for me, she was very shy at first, see said very little, she always side stepped any questions I asked her, and was very restraint at all times especially with her feelings. To be honest, I did became frustrated, but there was no way I was going to bail-out, because I could see it would take great patients from me, before she opened up, that was my challenge. I would never treat any woman or love for that matter like a game, that's not even me, I have way too much respect.

I gotcha Zion 🙂 and it does sound like you have a lot of respect (from what you've written here). I wasn't by any means criticizing your actions - just giving you one Tau's perspective; especially w/Leo men.

Posted by USCTaurusGal
I gotcha Zion 🙂 and it does sound like you have a lot of respect (from what you've written here). I wasn't by any means criticizing your actions - just giving you one Tau's perspective; especially w/Leo men.

I don't normally like 'any' criticism at all, but I signed up to this forum for the brutal truth, perspective on my situation, and any honest criticism there is of me, simply because of what the heading says. In all my years this one woman is the only woman that has mystified me. I've had to swallow my pride some what to get some help and insight from this forum, so that maybe I can decipher what it is she has tried to tell me, one minuet she's telling me she's falling in love the next she's scared and lost, I know she wants space to breath, which I've given her, (it will probably do me some real good too) I've told her to take as long as she needs to solve whatever it is she needs to solve. I'm not going nowhere, my feelings towards her will never change, if and when she's ready to speak to me, I will not hesitate to speak to to her. What I would really like to know, what happens when she surfaces again? (without being too over confident, I know she will at some point) But how do I proceed? I don't want her to disappear again, if something else suddenly crops up......so on this occasion and this occasion only! I will never take any criticism to heart from anyone on this message board if it means I don't lose my taurean woman.

Posted by USCTaurusGal
There is a thin line between being challenged and feeling like someone is telling/dictating to you what to do. I don't want ANYBODY (even my mother whom I respect dearly) telling me what to do. With that being said, given the pride thing if you push her, she will do it just to prove that she can (because we like to prove people wrong when they think they have us backed into a corner), but I would caution against that, because it could begin some underlying resentment. Meaning, if she thinks you don't love/accept her for who she is (despite her smoking or whatever issue) it can become a problem in the future. Tau's have long memories.

agreed.

my leo also wanted me to quit smoking greenery and where it (smoking) was never a big deal to me, where i knew that he was correct, i didn't stop.

"don't tell me what to do!!!" is what it boiled down to. i also do things in my own time. it's not that i don't acknowledge what you're saying but i have an excellent memory so why the reminder? that creates pressure and resentment as USC said. she might stubbornly refuse to change to spite you. if i change, it's because i willed it...not you.

so i didn't stop smoking while with him. i did however stop without him. it may take her years to decide to stop and what you need to recognize is that with a fellow fixed sign, pushing is NOT going to work when there is obvious contention.

when you sense that she's on one side of the fence and you're on the opposite, state your cases and if there's no movement to the middle, respect/accept the differences. don't allow it to change your opinion of her and agree to disagree.

fixed signs are stubborn and we're change adverse. this does not however mean we're dumb enough to stick with something when proven wrong. the stubborn refusal to change is rooted in respect. if you respect me and my opinion then i can be open to yours. so as long as that's the case, she may not do the reasonable thing today but trust in her as she will eventually do it "tomorrow."

if you're right in an argument, time will tell. trust me.

oh and as far as the potential financial issues Aphrodite alluded to, i agree. pride kicks in and i'd rather douse myself in gasoline than accept "help" sometimes...especially if your helping means that i have to decrease my defenses.

taureans typically are very self-protective, guarded and demand privacy. she may need your assistance but if needing it requires that she divulge her secrets, inner woes or lets you into her private world, she will err on the side of "hell no."

venus is about beauty and where we take the "building" side of venus and libra takes the superficial, if her life is upturned in a given area, it's not "beautiful" is it? she's not going to want to show it to you. she doesn't want you to see the weeds in her garden. she wants time alone to prune and get rid of all that crap. once that's done, she will invite you back in and surprise, surprise, the garden is flourishing.

i think that's why you were getting the mixed messages. she wants you, but there are things she doesn't want you to see.

if you have your shit together, you may have come at an unexpected time. here she is in transition and this awesome man has stepped into her life. he seems to know what he wants, he seems to want her and DAMNIT! why wasn't she ready? she should've prepared for this!!!

now it's "OMG! i could lose him if he sees how fuqd up my garden is." i mean something as simple as smoking because a huge issue. does she have kids? well, any woman who smokes and wants them knows she must stop. i bet she has intended on stopping for a while and now that you've come in the picture, it's another thing to add to her already full "to do" list.

taureans want to match/better our partners. i dont want to rise above you but i gotta carry my weight. if i dont feel like i am, i gotta get shit right and that requires focus.

i'm not sure how you teach/convince a taurean it's ok to be vulnerable but good luck with that.

^BECOMES a huge issue

Posted by caligula
here she is in transition and this awesome man has stepped into her life. he seems to know what he wants, he seems to want her and DAMNIT! why wasn't she ready? she should've prepared for this!!!

Absolutely! It's not about being "perfect" it's about having your own s# $ t together! Especially if we are trying to impress someone. It's always about putting our best face/foot forward!

Posted by caligula

taureans want to match/better our partners. i dont want to rise above you but i gotta carry my weight. if i dont feel like i am, i gotta get shit right and that requires focus.

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Equality. Meaning, we know and will be just as good as our partner, and that means in every aspect of the relationship. It's not a contest, but we expect a HELL of a lot from ourselves. It's a blessing and a curse! As Cali said, if your woman doesn't feel she is "there" that is going to create anxiousness and probably some disappointment in herself. Whether you are disappointed with her or not is irrelevant, SHE probably has a heavy weight on herself; especially if she is going through some personal changes/issues right now.