I put it too you my Taurus brothers and sisters..

Or anyone else. I've reached what seems as a temporary stalemate.

I use to be really about 'me' when it came to finances. How plush could I live, how many cool toys could I have. I always have been driven to be wealthy(taurus security). And I've never had a problem being ambitious and working my ass off to get to that. To that end I started my own construction company at 23 years old. The plan was to do the company for 2 years and then leave town to go to commercial dive school and do off shore wet welding, as I love water and SCUBA and its big $ $ $ . That was just over 4 years ago. My company really took off. I would have to leave all that behind and start again at the bottom to go to dive school. I frown at the thought of leaving all that hard work in the dust. In a sense, my success has become my ball and chain.(taurus security)?

The first part is by far the lesser part out of this stalemate.. See I've been going through a lot of re-gearing in the past few years. The drive for financial security has taken a major swing. What was once all about me and my toys, is now about a family and a woman.. That swing, which is curious enough by itself as I'm single has driven me to rethink my game plan. As a man I feel like its super important be a healthy provider to a family, to give my future kids the biggest head start to making the best they can for them selfs, And a future wife the best financially worry free life I can.. And to be there to support them, Man needs to be there for his family too.

So the true stalemate:
As a off-shore wet welder I could really rake in the dough. I could really provide for a future family in a financial since. But the down side to that is to make that kinda money, I could be looking at 3-4 months away from home straight on any given job. This wasn't a issue when I was 'me' geared.. But now I'm not sure I'm ok with that, as its the mans job to also be at the dinner table to ask the wife how her day was and snuggle up with her ass. And ask the kids hows school. I.E. Be there.
I could stay with what I have going. That would, for the most part put me at the dinner table every night.. But anyone who knows construction business knows its feast or famine.. When shit hit the fan with the 08-09 crash, theres no way I would have felt good about myself trying to raise a family on that pay check... Wet welding kept plugging away then ( $ ).

So what means more to you. Providing financial security for your family, Or being there?

Being there.
Money cannot buy back time missed with loved ones.and money sure as hell does not make people happy and bring them closer together.
follow your heart,grasshoppa.

I'm not a Taurus but throwing my 2 cents in here anyway. Off shore wet welding sounds like a risky occupation. You have started your own company, which your children will eventually work with you or inherit. "Being there" is my vote too.

Being there. When I was married the hubs only saw the children on weekends, if that. No amount of money in the world can replace a mans presence at night, fishing trips with the children, or his arms wrapped round tight. It's hard on a woman to do the bulk of the raising and running. Not that it's not done, and well. But it's lonely. So many times you look for guidance, or seek the strength from a man. The adult interaction that keeps you sane. The giggles and physicality. I felt like I was alone at times, because I was. But more importantly, I took on every role and resentment built. Something to throw in the hopper.
Not all about money Taibhse. A simple home where happiness lies, a good woman whose eyes glow with warmth and pride when they touch on you..far more important than some crushing mortgage, the latest vehicle in the winding drive and snots attending the most prized schools. Financial security is but a dream, unless you've amassed so much that nothing can touch it. Chasing the dollar ethereal. It can be wiped away at a twist in the wind..but hearth and home, the things that should truly be valued. That's where it's at.

And I'll tell you what else mah lil' rose bud, a woman worth her salt. One who was dead serious about rocking out weeks, decades and longer at your side...she'd take the lean times as a challenge, and still BE THERE. She wouldn't be some panty-waisted creature fluttering about and pulling her ringlets. Rubbing her hands together and saying "Oh --- what shall WE DO?!" NOPE, she'd be kicking ass and taking names, right alongside you.
Do you need the latest satellite? Not really. A DVD works just as well, as does an evening at the lake, or under the stars on a blanket with some good food. Do you need to travel? Not really, can walk out your front door, ride bikes with the urchins. Must you have a wide screen plasma TV with 500 remotes and channels to piss you off? ( because there's nothing you want to watch on the bloody thing anyways.. ) NOPE. Cut flowers that fade? No, plant a tree, a rose bush, enjoy those suckers a whole season and every year thereafter. Must the entire home have huge echoey rooms done in beige, cream and magnolia? Nope. Must you cringe every time you get a credit card bill in the mail? Nah! Does everything need to come from an upscale organic shop? No, raise a garden. Ooooo looky, kids and I did it. Point is, at the end of the day, it's all shit. Another yoke round your neck, another bill in the mail, and another brick on the pile weighing you down. The 'American Dream' has turned into the 'American Nightmare'. Another monkey on everyones back that is not necessary to happiness. Not by a long shot. And I'm not talking about dusting your hands off and picking turnips. It does alleviate some stress to just go out and pick out a major appliance when one goes belly up, but holy hells. Wealth and being 'fantastic in plastic'? Piss on that noise!

Be there.

My ex husband raked in the cash, thousands of bucks a week, in mine sites. He sent every cent to me, I wanted for nothing - except for him to be here. But his dedication to making money that we didn't need won and I told him to sling his hook after he wasn't there for me after my bro was killed (4 years today btw, RIP John).

Money isn't going to replace all those hours you go away. Ever. Only a gold-digger would be okay with that arrangement and well, she won't be worth it anyway if it's a woman after your dough.

Nah, be there, be around, share the moments. They are priceless.

Now, if its the 2nd marriage, no kids involved, I'll take the cash, you can work out at sea and I'll spend it...lol j/k

Well the response is a unanimous decision that seems clear cut to the point that it almost de-validates the question itself..

I think you guys can understand that as a Taurus... Or maybe a better way of saying it would be, as a young Taurus I push for that financial security and healthy life style .. That isn't to say that with a few more year under my belt I might steer away from that completely... Just as with age I moved from being about 'me' when it came to financial security. I don't though in this case see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. Because I feel really strongly that the mans role is to provide for his family, to give my future kids the best opportunity to chase whatever dreams they may have. My dad did a great job of raising a family, I don't think he ever cracked $ 40K his whole life.. This had me grow up with a good respect for money and also respect I have now for a good work ethic. So yes it can be done, and even good can come of it. But I also know that I had to work damn hard to get where I am today. I'd rather give my kids the chance to start at the front of the pack vs the back when it come to chasing there dreams. Maybe I myself would have dreamed bigger if I thought I had more backing. Maybe you guys can understand my train of thought here..

As for my kids inheriting the company.. Not sure thats even on the table.. Since I would much rather support them in chasing there own dreams then forcing down their throat what I've done.. And who knows. god forbid what if I have all girls... lol :o

A lot of you have pointed out that a good woman will stick by your side, money or no money.. Yes, and I'll settle for nothing less then a really strong woman that will have my back through the highs and lows. kicking ass right by my side. This thought about financial security isn't about what she'll think, but more over what I want for her. How I want to treat her, and my family. Yes, love endures all.. That doesn't mean being a good provider should take a back seat, because you should love me anyways right...

^All that said, I agree with you all as to the importance of being there to raise your family and being there for your woman. I think a lot of guys miss the value they hold in the upbringing of kids, especially the fathers role bringing up a young woman. I think pretty much every woman I've dated thats had a screw lose(Needy, Codependent, or just searching for male affection) Had a missing father figure in their life one way or another. To the point that now once I start diggin a woman I'll ask pretty quick 'hows your dad' haha


I just worry about the thought of trying to raise a family on a construction income.. As I know it isn't dependable.
In 09' there was almost 5 months when shit was bad that I was either pretty much working for free, or not at all. And it would be hard to live with myself knowing that not only was I responsible for myself, but more over, was responsible for a wife and family's well being in that state..

Your right, money cant buy happiness.. But the lack of money sure as hell can bring a lot of stress and unhappiness. Something I wouldn't want to subject the ones I care about to at all...



NZAqua: Sorry about your brother..

You can respect money, you can bust your ass for it. Not one thing wrong with that, it's applause worthy. But at the end of the day that is not what it's all about. When someone joins your side it's literally for better AND for worse.
I can understand and appreciate the sentiment of it's what you want for her, but that is about your pride and self worth as a man. It's not about what she may or may not be feeling. Because there again, a woman who doesn't have her head in her rectum will want you. Just the way you stand. Whether you give her a 5 carat rock or a simple band. It's not about taking a back seat to anything really. If you don't make bazillions that has no bearing on your integrity and standing as a providing male. Things and the joy in them fades. Becomes part of the scenery. What you build structurally and emotionally is what lasts. I would remember my mans arms around me, being my rock. What I would not is the rug he bought for me in 2013. Who cares? I wipe my feet on it, something else to hoover. The children will remember their father holding them, not that they got the latest game system that they won't wipe their ass on in 2 years.
*ornery twinkle in eyes* I do indeed hope you beget a troop of females sir, just for saying that...my father issued forth 6 of us, and he loves every one of us. Nyah nyah.

And yes, NZ. I am sorry for your loss, for the grief and grieving. I understand.

And another point while I'm on this great soapbox you so unwittingly provided. If you hand children everything, anything. They become worthless tits. I'm sure you've seen it, I know I certainly have. Spoilt, conceited creatures who think it is their God-given right to have everything presented to them not only with a flourish, but also a loving smooch to their nether regions. The sun does indeed erupt from their golden orifices every time they bend over to tie a shoe-lace.
NOT slandering any issue from the sacred sack there, but Gross Gott im Himmel there are a lot of vapid, worthless gits running on this planet. Emotionally they have the depth of a triscuit and as far as being useful for anything? Fogeddaboudit.