Is a Taurus testing me or trying to get rid of me?

I have been dating a Taurus male for 3 months now (I'm a Pisces) and I had never worried about his feelings towards me until now. Recently he's been taking ages to reply to any of my messages. I have tried not over-reacting and hoping that he's busy but I can see when he's been online and read my messages - damn technology! Most of the time he is still friendly and compliments me but a few are cold which I've never experienced before. I always thought he was such a nice guy and now I'm starting to doubt that. Is he trying to suss me out or is he simply trying to get rid of me? I am tempted to confront him over it but don't want to seem like I am nagging at all. I just want to know what's up or whether I've done anything wrong. Has anyone else experienced this behaviour?

if you are dating why can't you say "have you got some beef with me?" what is it with you women who are too afraid to as the simplest of questions to the men you are intimate with? how can you fuck someone and still not have the courage to ask a basic question?

Posted by exxtasyx
I don't think you have to ask him questions that you're not comfortable asking in fear of coming off a certain way. There's always a way of getting around a question and figuring things out anyway.

Stop giving him so much attention. Stop initiating conversations. Wait for HIM to come to YOU. See if he reaches out. You're kind of right in the fact that you don't wanna come off nagging, and you shouldn't have to. You've initiated things enough, now it's time for him to respond and come to you, and if he doesn't then he's not worth it. Pull back and see what happens.

so you suggest game playing and generally being passive aggressive?

Posted by exxtasyx

Posted by jeane

Posted by exxtasyx
I don't think you have to ask him questions that you're not comfortable asking in fear of coming off a certain way. There's always a way of getting around a question and figuring things out anyway.

Stop giving him so much attention. Stop initiating conversations. Wait for HIM to come to YOU. See if he reaches out. You're kind of right in the fact that you don't wanna come off nagging, and you shouldn't have to. You've initiated things enough, now it's time for him to respond and come to you, and if he doesn't then he's not worth it. Pull back and see what happens.

so you suggest game playing and generally being passive aggressive?

Better then to come across nagging to a person who isn't showing much interest. I wouldn't embarrass myself like that. Plus she has reached out to him, she has done all she could do, now it's time for him to prove he's interested. And if he isn't then he's not worth it. No one wants to be a sick puppy following someone around or nagging someone about "why aren't you giving me attention?" That just looks so bad.

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when nagging is one question or you can't air grievances with your partner then you have a problem. why torture yourself with what could be when it could be resolved in an instant? all she has to say is "is there something wrong?" nine times out of ten the answer is "what? i didn't realise was doing that. sorry."

what is bad about that?

Posted by exxtasyx
I think that's a naive way to think. He saw her messages on Facebook and still replies late. He's not acting the same as he used to. He's either playing games or found someone else. Of course he knows what he's doing. It's impossible that he didn't realize that he hasn't been the same. When you regularly communicate with someone and then you stop, you're going to realize this shift in the relationship. And if he's busy he would have been like "sorry, I've been so busy these last few weeks" beforehand. Something is obviously up. And when there's something "up," I'm not about to question them like I care and give myself away like that.

you say naive, i say thinking the best of your partner. if you are so quick to doubt, turn and start playing games then what sort of partner are you?

it sounds like the most important thing for you, is to protect yourself. for me it is my pride. rather than running away, i will confront the issue at hand and deal with it. playing games is for children.

Posted by exxtasyx

Posted by jeane

Posted by exxtasyx
I think that's a naive way to think. He saw her messages on Facebook and still replies late. He's not acting the same as he used to. He's either playing games or found someone else. Of course he knows what he's doing. It's impossible that he didn't realize that he hasn't been the same. When you regularly communicate with someone and then you stop, you're going to realize this shift in the relationship. And if he's busy he would have been like "sorry, I've been so busy these last few weeks" beforehand. Something is obviously up. And when there's something "up," I'm not about to question them like I care and give myself away like that.

you say naive, i say thinking the best of your partner. if you are so quick to doubt, turn and start playing games then what sort of partner are you?

it sounds like the most important thing for you, is to protect yourself. for me it is my pride. rather than running away, i will confront the issue at hand and deal with it. playing games is for children.

By confronting the issue after you've already reached out to the person you're just gonna end up coming across needy. I'm not the type to bend over backwards and make myself look stupid for a person who is not showing they care. I refuse to come across desperate or needy. That's just embarrassing. If I reach out to someone more then once and they act uninterested, I'm gonna pull back cause I'm not gonna chase and comfort a person who is responding late and acting uninterested. It's gonna look bad.

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by keeping your heart safe and locked away, you never give anyone the chance to get in.

Posted by busyeyes88
Libraus is ABSOLUTELY 100% correct!!!

If you can't bring a simple question like that to your man's face than you might well count your losses.

And as for pride, if you have to Constantly get the the attention of someone who is already ignoring you, whats so prideful about that?! It's better to keep one's pride by deleting the person's number and moving on!!

i think busy the problem is us. they live in a world of facebook and facebook relationship statuses where things are made or broken online, in messages and via text. we're out of step. we're from the old school of face to face chats and phone calls. we don't rely on silent stand offs and hidden emoji meanings. times have changed. maybe this is how you have a relationship now? haven't you seen the latest round of threads about relationships formed, lived and killed virtually? it's a brand new world.

Just ask him. What's the worst that can happen?

If he continues to ignore you or gives a bullshit excuse then that tells you something.

If he answers with a reasonable answer then that tells you something.

Either way, you get an answer.

Pride comes before a fall. Nobody wants a 'Fort Knox' heart. Life is too short to wonder 'what if' for this circumstance or to care too much for someone who isn't caring about you.

Fuck it... Just hang your balls right out there girl...

Posted by fishywaters
I have been dating a Taurus male for 3 months now (I'm a Pisces) and I had never worried about his feelings towards me until now. Recently he's been taking ages to reply to any of my messages. I have tried not over-reacting and hoping that he's busy but I can see when he's been online and read my messages - damn technology! Most of the time he is still friendly and compliments me but a few are cold which I've never experienced before. I always thought he was such a nice guy and now I'm starting to doubt that. Is he trying to suss me out or is he simply trying to get rid of me? I am tempted to confront him over it but don't want to seem like I am nagging at all. I just want to know what's up or whether I've done anything wrong. Has anyone else experienced this behaviour?

Is this an online relationship? Have you met? Are you going on dates? its not clear

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by fishywaters
I have been dating a Taurus male for 3 months now (I'm a Pisces) and I had never worried about his feelings towards me until now. Recently he's been taking ages to reply to any of my messages. I have tried not over-reacting and hoping that he's busy but I can see when he's been online and read my messages - damn technology! Most of the time he is still friendly and compliments me but a few are cold which I've never experienced before. I always thought he was such a nice guy and now I'm starting to doubt that. Is he trying to suss me out or is he simply trying to get rid of me? I am tempted to confront him over it but don't want to seem like I am nagging at all. I just want to know what's up or whether I've done anything wrong. Has anyone else experienced this behaviour?

Is this an online relationship? Have you met? Are you going on dates? its not clear

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We actually met offline years ago but got back in contact online. Yes we have met about 5/6 times and been on dates but we are about 2hrs from one another so it's slow starting.

Thanks so much for the advice. jeane & exxtasyx - both of your points of sum up exactly what is going through my mind atm. I'm torn between asking him straight up and letting him chase me. It's not that he's ignoring me. He always replies and he does always seem interested in what's going on in my life which is why I wonder if he's taking a slight step back just to work out how he feels about me? This seems to be a recurring trend with Taurus males but I also don't want to be walked all over again - this has happened far too many times because I am an idealist and dreamer when it comes to love but this is the strongest I've felt about someone in a long time and I'm scared of ruining it. Argh I'm still so confused!