Losing a great Taurus woman...(Long Distance)

Hello,

I recently have met and talked to an amazing woman online in recent months.(since December)
I am 30 year old (Cancer) and she is 41. Things started out normally, we would talk a few times over chats and eventually moved to Skype. We both accepted each other??s age and we had no issues. I think we planned to much and went to fast with our talks. We would talk all day and night and makes plans for our future. She told me I was the second greatest thing to happen in her life after her daughter. She even broke her rules with men and let her talk to me over the phone. We would spend the whole night laughing. All of our feelings were matched and reciprocated. We both wanted this and counted ourselves lucky. We were going to meet at the end of April. She even told her family that I was the —one??.

A few weeks ago I noticed a slight change in her attitude. She became slightly distant. She had recently had a break down with her situation in life and I was there for her throughout, But she became colder after that point. Less affectionate less responsive. Me being a fool in love pursued her with the same vigor as I always had. Granted it stung when she didn't respond and would deflect.

She sent me an email last night instead of calling me on Skype to tell me that she no longer feels the same as she did. That she is becoming increasingly indifferent towards us. She wanted space but didn't think it would matter since we never had a physical relationship. So with a knife in my heart I still fought for her and for us. I got her to at least talk through text and talked her into thinking this over and still meeting with me in person. I think we tried to harvest the seeds of our relationship before they had a real chance to grow. I also think she is like me an is terrified that this might work. She spent 10 years alone previously.

Deep down in my heart I know that she is the one for me. I've fallen for her and her daughter and can't picture my life now without them in it. Even with a broken heart I still fight for her. Am I wrong for thinking her mind can change back to before? Am I wrong to think that I can win her over in person and sweep her off her feet once again?

@Limitlessdepths...

Your Taurus woman is just being a little more realistic about the current state of affairs, trials and tribulations, life getting in the way, dilemmas have to be addressed, objectives have to be set, and soultions have to be found. You're not on her list of priorities right now. It's nothing personal. It has nothing to do with you.

The two of you were conversing on line (no personal contact, no physical relationship) for a few months. You have not been a permanent fixture in her life long enough for her to divulge every aspect of her personal life to you (including her personal problems). For a Bull, this takes time.

We see things and approach situations a little more realistically. It doesn't mean that she isn't fond of you, or her connection to you isn't genuine.

Give her space to sort things out, but keep in contact with her sporadically. No pressure.

You're a Cancer, I know constant reassurance (and possibly a little ego-stroking) is very important to you right now, but this will have to placed on hold. Right now, she doens't have it for you. Too much is going on with her right now.

@TaurusBull1977

Thank you for the reply. I guess I am just going to have to grin and bear this silence. As a cancer this is very agonizing but she is worth it. She says she doesn't feel the same way that she did at the start but I hope with time and a little space she will again.

@Limitlessdepths----

What was it about this specific woman that drew you to her?

Why did you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her?

Think long and hard before you respond. This is very important.

(Don't place too much emphasis on the way that she made you feel.)

...But more focus on who she is as a person.

@TaurusBull1977

What was it about this specific woman that drew you to her?

Her writing. Her intelligence drew me in. Her humor kept me.

Why did you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her?

I was able to be myself around her. Something I have not been able to do with others so far in my life. No masks no secrets no drama. She accepted all my sides and my past. She gave me her whole self. She let me in her life which she kept guarded. She opened her heart to me without hesitation. She shared the pain of her childhood with me as I shared mine.

She was selfless with me. At least from what she told me. The reason it was an easy choice to be with her was because she accepted it as a fact already. She placed me in her future.(despite the short time we talked)

Posted by LimitlessDepths
@TaurusBull1977

What was it about this specific woman that drew you to her?

Her writing. Her intelligence drew me in. Her humor kept me.

Why did you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her?

I was able to be myself around her. Something I have not been able to do with others so far in my life. No masks no secrets no drama. She accepted all my sides and my past. She gave me her whole self. She let me in her life which she kept guarded. She opened her heart to me without hesitation. She shared the pain of her childhood with me as I shared mine.

She was selfless with me. At least from what she told me. The reason it was an easy choice to be with her was because she accepted it as a fact already. She placed me in her future.(despite the short time we talked)

This is a real good sign.

Just give her a little time and space to sort things out.

When the opportunity presents itself again, tell her EXACTLY what you stated here.

This will be her sense of stability (security) that you intend to be a permanet fixture in her life.

@TaurusBull1977

It might be already past that point. Her email told me that she didn't want to be in relationship with anyone. That she needed to focus on herself. She feels anxiety that she no longer feels the same way about me as she did when we started.

It seems I've smothered her with my feelings instead of giving her space and letting it grow naturally. I did talk her into thinking this over.

Have I pushed her to far?

@dustbunny

We can be. My only fear is that I drove her to far with my bullshit.

When a Taurus woman "neglects" you she is secretly giving you hints to leave her alone. Instead of being straight forward and honest that she does not want to talk at the moment, she neglects you by ignoring you. We don't do it intentionally but we're selfish by nature and sometimes we will neglect another's feelings because we are thinking of our own.

Taurus women are very direct with their feelings and have a big heart, I am sure if she wanted to be with you she would but something may be going on in her life at the moment that she is not ready. The best thing to do is leave her alone and give her space. Do not reach out to her, she knows how to get into contact with you, if she wants too she will.

I dated a Cancer man (the same guy twice) and he was too clingy and would never get the hint to leave me alone when I wanted space. Very caring nice guy, but he didn't know when to stop with all the emotions and just leave me be sometimes.

Good luck!

@xxbrittxxtay

Thank you for your reply. This has eased my mind some. We moved may too fast and put too much pressure on ourselves.

I think she needs time to figure out if this is what she really wants. If i get her back I will learn this lesson and keep my claws to myself.

Posted by LimitlessDepths

Have I pushed her to far?

It's about finding a common medium.
Respect her space, don't rush or pressure her, remember, she is a Bull.

Just send an occasional message sporadically with supportive vibes.

@TaurusBull1977

I will. If she comes back to me I will put all my cancer stuff on a shelf.

Posted by xxbrittxxtay
When a Taurus woman "neglects" you she is secretly giving you hints to leave her alone. Instead of being straight forward and honest that she does not want to talk at the moment, she neglects you by ignoring you. We don't do it intentionally but we're selfish by nature and sometimes we will neglect another's feelings because we are thinking of our own.

Taurus women are very direct with their feelings and have a big heart, I am sure if she wanted to be with you she would but something may be going on in her life at the moment that she is not ready. The best thing to do is leave her alone and give her space. Do not reach out to her, she knows how to get into contact with you, if she wants too she will.

I dated a Cancer man (the same guy twice) and he was too clingy and would never get the hint to leave me alone when I wanted space. Very caring nice guy, but he didn't know when to stop with all the emotions and just leave me be sometimes.

Good luck!

Great advice @xxbrittxxtay

She may also feel like she is moving too fast and being unrealistic, which she may feel like she's wasting her time. We tend to be very realistic and we rely on being logical and the distance alone might make her feel like she's being unrealistic.

@Sweets681

She told me that she wants me in her life still. She just doesn't know what capacity yet. Are you bulls always so cold?

At worst I will be relegated back to the friends status. It may take months to win her back then if I even can. Not a prospect I want to think about at this moment.

@limitlessdepth

I wouldn't say cold, but brutally honest. We have really big hearts and we mean well. It sounds like she really likes you. Respect her space and reach out every now and then. When reaching out be positive.

Good Luck

We talked for a bit today. I didn't mention anything about us and we just spoke about our days. I was excited to see her message me. I am doing my best not to seem like a total wreck.

*update*

I am to be a friend again with her. Despite her complete emotional detachment towards me she still wishes that I remain in her life. Her daughter constantly asks for me and It breaks my heart that this came to pass. I will stay her friend and not abandon her but i think its time I gave up trying to win her back and move on with my life. Maybe with time my feelings for her can change as well.

Posted by LimitlessDepths
@xxbrittxxtay

Thank you for your reply. This has eased my mind some. We moved may too fast and put too much pressure on ourselves.

I think she needs time to figure out if this is what she really wants. If i get her back I will learn this lesson and keep my claws to myself.

No problem I hope everything works itself out 🙂