Lurverlurver
@Lurverlurver
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 57 · Topics: 8
Please help me understand my taurus man!
Well, let's start at the beginning. What have you been arguing about?
Well I have two children, he has two children. It started with the children, him finding it hard when his wasn't there. When the fell out, we were both defensive. Then things got worse, he stopped talking, wanted me to do all the chores. Just sat on his arse after work. I work too. Then the kissing stopped, affection got less. I felt insecure so with being an aries I told him. He felt he couldn't do anything right. We just withdrew further away from each other. I said he never rung or text me anymore through the day, he said it was always him not me. If we sat down for tea, he ended up playing on iPad I between mouthfuls instead of speaking to me. But I realise my part, and I have apologised and told him I now realise what I had and really want to sort this mess out. But he won't even speak to me, it's like he has erased the time we spent together.
Ok, well let me put it this way. It feels like their is a sense of invasion. I am a Taurus myself and I sometimes get annoyed and worked up if people or things invade my space and then demand me to act in a particular way inside of my own space. Taurus are very affectionate and loving, but when annoyed, we don't want to get close to anyone or anything because we also have hidden in us this immense power to destroy. It is not something we wish to embrace. I think it is part of most Taurus. I have only a few times felt this rage build up inside of me when I was much younger, but it is how we react to it that makes the difference.
Secondly, family. This remains an important aspect of us. And as a matter of fact, this will over rule in most cases absolutely anything and anyone else. It sucks, but that is how we feel. It really takes some doing for us to move family aside to embrace something or someone else. He might be feeling that since you have been living together he isn't giving his children the best, and this also weighs heavy on us.
What I can say is that if you keep pushing, you will without a doubt lose him forever. Now I get your insecurity, because we are also insecure in our own ways. He is annoyed, he doesn't have his space anymore and might feel confined and this stresses him out and works him up. He is acting out on that, but he is still very conservative in how he reacts. Don't push him further, because he might turn in to a more forceful enraged version and that you don't want. He is simmering and needs time to cool down and collect him self. He won't end up in the arms of another, only immature Taurus do this, and he won't seek revenge unless you keep pointing him out for his faults.
We don't forget anything, he is probably also hurting inside but feels that he can't talk to you about it, because as much as he cares, you are currently seen as the source of the pain. Now don't get me wrong, this is NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL. You sound like a loving and kind individual and he wouldn't have chosen you if you where anything else.
You might need to allow him to be himself a bit. If he disappear for an hour or so, let him be. Also, it is good to acknowledge that a relationship is built out of 2 people, so both carry responsibility in everything that is/has/will happen. But don't go an take blame where it isn't yours to take. At the same time know that playing the blame game makes him feel less of a man and less inclined to stay with you,
Secondly, family. This remains an important aspect of us. And as a matter of fact, this will over rule in most cases absolutely anything and anyone else. It sucks, but that is how we feel. It really takes some doing for us to move family aside to embrace something or someone else. He might be feeling that since you have been living together he isn't giving his children the best, and this also weighs heavy on us.
What I can say is that if you keep pushing, you will without a doubt lose him forever. Now I get your insecurity, because we are also insecure in our own ways. He is annoyed, he doesn't have his space anymore and might feel confined and this stresses him out and works him up. He is acting out on that, but he is still very conservative in how he reacts. Don't push him further, because he might turn in to a more forceful enraged version and that you don't want. He is simmering and needs time to cool down and collect him self. He won't end up in the arms of another, only immature Taurus do this, and he won't seek revenge unless you keep pointing him out for his faults.
We don't forget anything, he is probably also hurting inside but feels that he can't talk to you about it, because as much as he cares, you are currently seen as the source of the pain. Now don't get me wrong, this is NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL. You sound like a loving and kind individual and he wouldn't have chosen you if you where anything else.
You might need to allow him to be himself a bit. If he disappear for an hour or so, let him be. Also, it is good to acknowledge that a relationship is built out of 2 people, so both carry responsibility in everything that is/has/will happen. But don't go an take blame where it isn't yours to take. At the same time know that playing the blame game makes him feel less of a man and less inclined to stay with you,
because real men don't feel this way or don't do what he is being accused of.
There is nothing wrong with initiating communication with him from time to time, it isn't just his responsibility. Call him at work, or message him, it makes our day brighter as well. Although you might want to lay off on that idea for now.
It might be a good idea to somewhere in the near future agree and pledge an 'oath' that you won't go off at one another for no reason, but would rather ask the other to help even if it means just listening and being there. And by this I mean, you have to listen as well. Since you moved in together I get the feeling you have just been 'nagging' on him. I am not saying this is the case, but it feels that way. You need to listen as well. Even in silence, our hearts still speak volumes, but you have to listen to hear it. Also, never ever go to bed angry. Don't force intimacy when we feel this way because it demoralizes us and again makes us feel less like men. We are not tools, and don't use people as tools either, unless the Taurus hasn't matured yet.
I don't know if this will help, I hope it does. And please don't take offence to anything I mentioned here. It is merely an opinion. I don't know you are claim to know you but have a good idea of how you feel and would like to help.
You need to give him a bit of space and stop showing your insecurities in everything. He will be there, and he will protect you. He already knows your weaknesses and your strengths, he doesn't need to be reminded every waking moment. That pushes us away even further.
Lastly, what ever happens, don't get the children in the middle of this, they don't deserve this at all. Yes there are compromises from all sides, but when it gets ugly, not that I think it would, they are the ones that are going to suffer. That is just not right. You might even, also in the near future sit EVERYONE down together and get the do's and don'ts update so everyone knows what is going on and what is reasonably expected of them.
There is nothing wrong with initiating communication with him from time to time, it isn't just his responsibility. Call him at work, or message him, it makes our day brighter as well. Although you might want to lay off on that idea for now.
It might be a good idea to somewhere in the near future agree and pledge an 'oath' that you won't go off at one another for no reason, but would rather ask the other to help even if it means just listening and being there. And by this I mean, you have to listen as well. Since you moved in together I get the feeling you have just been 'nagging' on him. I am not saying this is the case, but it feels that way. You need to listen as well. Even in silence, our hearts still speak volumes, but you have to listen to hear it. Also, never ever go to bed angry. Don't force intimacy when we feel this way because it demoralizes us and again makes us feel less like men. We are not tools, and don't use people as tools either, unless the Taurus hasn't matured yet.
I don't know if this will help, I hope it does. And please don't take offence to anything I mentioned here. It is merely an opinion. I don't know you are claim to know you but have a good idea of how you feel and would like to help.
You need to give him a bit of space and stop showing your insecurities in everything. He will be there, and he will protect you. He already knows your weaknesses and your strengths, he doesn't need to be reminded every waking moment. That pushes us away even further.
Lastly, what ever happens, don't get the children in the middle of this, they don't deserve this at all. Yes there are compromises from all sides, but when it gets ugly, not that I think it would, they are the ones that are going to suffer. That is just not right. You might even, also in the near future sit EVERYONE down together and get the do's and don'ts update so everyone knows what is going on and what is reasonably expected of them.
I don't take offence to anything you have written. It makes a lot of sense.
I took his silences to mean he doesn't care or couldn't be bothered to communicate not that its the way he was trying to communicate.
We last spoke or texted two/three days ago and I haven't heard anything.
I don't want to push him away further but I don't want him to think I don't care when I am struggling living without him.
Should I wait for him to contact me?
Or because he said he didn't want to sort anything out, is this his final decision?
I took his silences to mean he doesn't care or couldn't be bothered to communicate not that its the way he was trying to communicate.
We last spoke or texted two/three days ago and I haven't heard anything.
I don't want to push him away further but I don't want him to think I don't care when I am struggling living without him.
Should I wait for him to contact me?
Or because he said he didn't want to sort anything out, is this his final decision?
Posted by OmagaIII
because real men don't feel this way or don't do what he is being accused of.
There is nothing wrong with initiating communication with him from time to time, it isn't just his responsibility. Call him at work, or message him, it makes our day brighter as well. Although you might want to lay off on that idea for now.
It might be a good idea to somewhere in the near future agree and pledge an 'oath' that you won't go off at one another for no reason, but would rather ask the other to help even if it means just listening and being there. And by this I mean, you have to listen as well. Since you moved in together I get the feeling you have just been 'nagging' on him. I am not saying this is the case, but it feels that way. You need to listen as well. Even in silence, our hearts still speak volumes, but you have to listen to hear it. Also, never ever go to bed angry. Don't force intimacy when we feel this way because it demoralizes us and again makes us feel less like men. We are not tools, and don't use people as tools either, unless the Taurus hasn't matured yet.
I don't know if this will help, I hope it does. And please don't take offence to anything I mentioned here. It is merely an opinion. I don't know you are claim to know you but have a good idea of how you feel and would like to help.
You need to give him a bit of space and stop showing your insecurities in everything. He will be there, and he will protect you. He already knows your weaknesses and your strengths, he doesn't need to be reminded every waking moment. That pushes us away even further.
Lastly, what ever happens, don't get the children in the middle of this, they don't deserve this at all. Yes there are compromises from all sides, but when it gets ugly, not that I think it would, they are the ones that are going to suffer. That is just not right. You might even, also in the near future sit EVERYONE down together and get the do's and don'ts update so everyone knows what is going on and what is reasonably expected of them.
Bravo OmegaIII! Bravo! You need to help a Taurus guy that has lost his Leo woman. I'm sure you can help him to undertand.
Ok, well, I don't think it is final. I will say this much, you can contact him. Just keep it light. You could end it off with something very simple like 'missing you lots'. Then you will have to leave him be.
How long have you been together prior to moving in together? We don't easily move on. It takes time. Even while I am sitting and writing this I am so very in love with a Scorpio. She is driving me nuts atm, but at the same time we have been good to one another for almost 11 months. It might hurt what is happening now, but I know how I feel about her, so I am willing to try even if my mind is going crazy and it feels like I just want to bail. And I think it might be the same for him.
Try taking it slow, contact him (if you want to) every 3 or so days. You could even call him up if you can maintain a solid composure, but still keep it light. You need to get him to laugh a bit, remember a bit, of what you HAVE. And I think you need to remind your self as well... Don't make it a HAD scenario, cause it ain't over yet 😉
Just do that, but if he doesn't come around in say the next 2 weeks. Move on. Then he is on his own as he chose to be. It sounds harsh, but the thing that knocks us down on our own backsides is usually our own words -_- That is why I never make promises and I am very cautious with my words. If I say I miss you, then I make sure that it really is the feeling in my heart, and if I say I'll call you I damn well do it.
BTW, I have heard that our lucky day is Friday 😛 Definitely contact him this Friday and the next. Leave him over the weekend and maybe peek in on Tuesday again. Don't ask me why I am saying this, but just try it 🙂
Again, this is just my opinion.
How long have you been together prior to moving in together? We don't easily move on. It takes time. Even while I am sitting and writing this I am so very in love with a Scorpio. She is driving me nuts atm, but at the same time we have been good to one another for almost 11 months. It might hurt what is happening now, but I know how I feel about her, so I am willing to try even if my mind is going crazy and it feels like I just want to bail. And I think it might be the same for him.
Try taking it slow, contact him (if you want to) every 3 or so days. You could even call him up if you can maintain a solid composure, but still keep it light. You need to get him to laugh a bit, remember a bit, of what you HAVE. And I think you need to remind your self as well... Don't make it a HAD scenario, cause it ain't over yet 😉
Just do that, but if he doesn't come around in say the next 2 weeks. Move on. Then he is on his own as he chose to be. It sounds harsh, but the thing that knocks us down on our own backsides is usually our own words -_- That is why I never make promises and I am very cautious with my words. If I say I miss you, then I make sure that it really is the feeling in my heart, and if I say I'll call you I damn well do it.
BTW, I have heard that our lucky day is Friday 😛 Definitely contact him this Friday and the next. Leave him over the weekend and maybe peek in on Tuesday again. Don't ask me why I am saying this, but just try it 🙂
Again, this is just my opinion.
Thank you very much, I really appreciate all your advice and can completely take what ur saying.
I have texted him earlier on, and he has replied. Said all he keeps thinking of all the crap and arguing we have had. I have replied but light heartedly
We had only been together 3 months before moving in together, when we met it was lovely and fantastic and not normally daily life with all that pressure.
I always tried to talk as I am quite a good cmmunicator, but seldom got anything back, apart from the silence. I understand what your saying, before he left he said he couldn't try anymore, he had nothing left 😢
Will contact him as advised and see if he comes back.
So after two weeks if he hasn't come round, move on? After that if he contacts should I just ignore him?
I have texted him earlier on, and he has replied. Said all he keeps thinking of all the crap and arguing we have had. I have replied but light heartedly
We had only been together 3 months before moving in together, when we met it was lovely and fantastic and not normally daily life with all that pressure.
I always tried to talk as I am quite a good cmmunicator, but seldom got anything back, apart from the silence. I understand what your saying, before he left he said he couldn't try anymore, he had nothing left 😢
Will contact him as advised and see if he comes back.
So after two weeks if he hasn't come round, move on? After that if he contacts should I just ignore him?
Hi Omagalll,
My taurus and I broke up this last this month 3 wks ago. After a huge fight and he threw me out to his
unit...the problem is just strange communication occur that leads me to go extreme and tell him all
the shits thru text. I sent him multiple msgs that day due to uncontrollable anger because I am tired
of him. all the drama and too much possessive and jealous thing he created.
As I asked him if he would like to continue as I was feeling guilt of how unprofessional I was with him.
He came to conclusion 'I plead to him' and because he said no.. so I told him right in his face
to make up his past marriage because he is sick... and even saying nasty words to him.
the end... he helped me to carry by things and ride a taxi...
his last words to me: Don't text and call and don't come again here.
Yes I did.
After 4 days he email me saying how sorry he was and wish me well soon and find somebody who will
make me happy..
his second email was an email from our common friend asking him not to me but he forwarded it to me.
his 3rd email last friday is this:
I will go back to a statement I made a few weeks back about being 'married' to my research. Too many times in the past I have put projects on 'hold' for the sake of a relationship and eventually came to resent that person (even though it was my own frustration for not staying focused).
The last couple of weeks we were together I was beginning to 'feel' this again. That was when I decided we needed to have a serious talk and I would explain this all to you. Then all the strange communications started and you kept attacking me.
The worst part of that 'bad Friday' was how it ended. You came back (after pleading with me to work it out) and started yelling very degrading and nasty insults at me through the window. That just made me realize I need to focus the next few years solely on my project.
FYI: I am not bi-polar and was insulted that you think you can 'classify' me that way.
Bottom line is, you are actually not as complex as you think you are, but other people are much more complex than what you want to believe.
I am glad to hear you are out doing many activities and enjoying life. Keep going. 🙂
Can you please translate this to me? I value your opinion because you are taurus.
I replied his email saying his success is my priority and wanted to try again the relationship.
Thank you
Posted by OmagaIII
Ok, well, I don't think it is final. I will say this much, you can contact him. Just keep it light. You could end it off with something very simple like 'missing you lots'. Then you will have to leave him be.
How long have you been together prior to moving in together? We don't easily move on. It takes time. Even while I am sitting and writing this I am so very in love with a Scorpio. She is driving me nuts atm, but at the same time we have been good to one another for almost 11 months. It might hurt what is happening now, but I know how I feel about her, so I am willing to try even if my mind is going crazy and it feels like I just want to bail. And I think it might be the same for him.
Try taking it slow, contact him (if you want to) every 3 or so days. You could even call him up if you can maintain a solid composure, but still keep it light. You need to get him to laugh a bit, remember a bit, of what you HAVE. And I think you need to remind your self as well... Don't make it a HAD scenario, cause it ain't over yet 😉
Just do that, but if he doesn't come around in say the next 2 weeks. Move on. Then he is on his own as he chose to be. It sounds harsh, but the thing that knocks us down on our own backsides is usually our own words -_- That is why I never make promises and I am very cautious with my words. If I say I miss you, then I make sure that it really is the feeling in my heart, and if I say I'll call you I damn well do it.
BTW, I have heard that our lucky day is Friday 😛 Definitely contact him this Friday and the next. Leave him over the weekend and maybe peek in on Tuesday again. Don't ask me why I am saying this, but just try it 🙂
Again, this is just my opinion.
Aww, I am in BITS. He won't communicate wi me at all. I tried light hearted conversation and he has cut it dead. He has been telling everyone that's it, it's over!
I am in absolute bits but won't pressurise him at all. He is apparantly out this weekend-were done.
Is it best I just leave him too now? It's a week today that he left.
Omagalll,
No worries for translating his msg. He emailed me and wanted to see me on sunday after my church
he told me he misses me but he always remember the things I have said during arguments.
I guess I bruised his ego and that is I need to repair.
hi lurverlurver,
I guess you have to do the right thing. My ex when I left him he told me " don't contact me text or
call'' and don't comeback here anymore... 4 days he never heard anything from me.
I am scorpio and he is taurus. lol.... then he emailed me apologetic and pushy....
then he kept emailing me until I was mad and told him... if he suffer a bipolar. lol 'ccause
I can't deal his moods. apologetic and pushy and rude. which is I kept being nice...
until he made up his mind... so I replied his email that whatever makes him happy I'll go with it.
Patient is a virtue indeed.
Hi M143,
We were living together, now he can't even speak to me. It's been a week already, and as much as I understand he needs space, does he not understand that I need some contact?
I feel like our relationship has just been one big lie and meant nothing. I am so heartbroken I can't eat, sleep, work 😢(
When you Taurus emailed, did u respond to him, or did u ignore him? What made you angry with him?
We were living together, now he can't even speak to me. It's been a week already, and as much as I understand he needs space, does he not understand that I need some contact?
I feel like our relationship has just been one big lie and meant nothing. I am so heartbroken I can't eat, sleep, work 😢(
When you Taurus emailed, did u respond to him, or did u ignore him? What made you angry with him?
Hi lurverlurver,
I know what you feel. How could you give him space if you kept contacting him.
Yes, I replied my taurus ex when he emailed me... facts: he wanted me not to contact him and
don't comeback to his unit...that is how he threw me out due to a big arguments.
I manipulated him to see how is he doing when I am out of his sight... so fare he knows it was me
and he told me I am a trap. Trap is yes... I didn't even admit that to him. that is scorpio secrets
to see the real partner. then he is going to drop my things that day and I am at work... I asked him
I will send a messenger to get my things 'cause I don't want to see him anymore and deal his bs.
which he kept me hanging..saying he will do it on saturday and change to monday.
I am scorpio I go extreme... so I told him NO saturday and monday...today or tonight... lol that
was friday.I sent him multiple msgs attacking him with all those nasty msg and that degrade him and
made me feel I was responsible for all things happen. Chances are: He might not willing to give up
until I moved on and have life for my own.
I am willing to drop him as I much willing to give a second try.... let say what will happen.
Again: Be patient and don't act like too needy. They hate that. They call it ''drama''.
Keep up
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Heartbroken aries.
You only realise what u have when it's gone xx