Taurus Man insists lets just be friends ?

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tauruschick33
@tauruschick33
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 2
Forget my first two topics lol. So after he broke it off with me, he now insists on "being friends". We were together 3 months, intimate from the start, everything was perfect, then after 5 weeks of distance/slowed contact I texted him asking where we're at with things, I know he has too much on and he is stressing about having to come up with $ 8,000 in 3 months and trying to find a second job etc. This is the texts he replied:


TEXT 1: Its not that i dont want you, i dont know what i want right now, Im not happy in life in general and i need to change things so i can be happy and im just trying to fix things in my life, ive been selfish because i havent really seen you or anything lately and its not fair to you, maybe we should just be friends cause i know i need to fix the things in my life im trying to fix and its going to take up most of my time, I was thinking about it a couple of weeks ago but feel slack i havent said anything, got a lot going on at the moment its not fair to you. Since ive had the tumor in my throat ive been doing heaps of thinking like life is short and i need to hurry up and do the things i need to do to get to where i want and fixated on them. sorry ive not been around your a really cool chick and deserve better sorry but i dont know how long ill be like this for so maybe it is for the best to just be friends. what do you think?

TEXT 2: Im sorry and i never meant to upset you or do this, i am sorry and you do deserve better, its honestly not you at all its just really bad timing, im getting old (hes 36, im 25) and really need to do this for myself and its not fair to drag you around or have you waiting around for me to have time and im sorry ive done it as much as i have, in no way do you deserve that. I really hope we can be friends and and im really sorry to upset you it was never my intention, i feel really bad but id rather be honest and hopefully we can still have a friendship. your really cool and fun im really in a sh*t place right now and its gonna take a while to climb out to where i need to be, really hope you understand.


He asked me 4 times to "hope to be friends" I have never been in this situation before.. does he really want to be friends? What do you make of these two texts? what does he really want?

Many thanks for any replies
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LIb4Life
@LIb4Life
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 863 · Topics: 4
Agree with everyone else...one thing about a Taurus dude, when he's into you, he's into you, so if he has stress going on in his life and wants to be friends, he really wants to be friends and keep you in his life. When they have that emotional attachment with someone, it's usually for life even after the romance is over. They will remain friends.

As busyeyes88 stated.."STAY AWAY FROM THE SEX PART". That would only complicate things in a big way, but he seriously wants to keep you in his life and if you can't handle that, then move on...at least for now.
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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
Those are really nice messages he sent you. Honest and genuine. It might not be what you want or what you wanted to hear but he's been real with you.

Regardless of astrology, he's 36 and it sounds like he's had a lot going on and he's not where he wants to be which would affect most people, guys especially, and at that age in life.

You are a decade or so younger. Live your life and as the others say, be friends but no sex or it will end badly!

It's just not a match. It happens.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
+1 Busy

If you can handle friendship without sex, without intimate talks, no hope of rekindling, then be his friend. If you feel friendly feelings then be his friend but if you love him, feel love for him don't be his friend.

Accept and agree with him which can actually pull him to your side and possibly help him see you in a different light. If you want to rekindle the friendship show him you're okay with his decision. Agree with him and move on b/c losing you and losing the option for friendship can motivate a man to do right by a woman and give her what she deserves. Let him go and if he's yours he'll be back.

If you love him and if you're in love with him then walk away because you'll get confused and become hurt and frustrated by his inability to move past his issues in order to be with you.

Once a man see you as a "friend" it's very hard for him to shift into romantic feelings so don't do it if you ever want the option to rekindle love again.

Loss and losing is the worse feeling for a man and can be a motivating factor to step up and stop being fearful/afraid.
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
i'm going to muddy the waters here and say that the "let's be friends" route can also be a bit of a test. the only reason why i know this is because a taurus actually said to me "it will be kind of a test". crazy but true. the understanding i had is that it would test a person's resilience and loyalty. will the other person remain my friend in less than favourable conditions? are they prepared to stick with me through thick and thin? especially if the other person is in love, is this love deep and unabiding or will they run for the hills once things get rocky as they inevitably do in every relationship? is this person worth laying my heart on the line?

i think it is largely dependent on how the person treats you after the friends pronouncement. does it turn into booty call behaviour? do they start disappearing for periods on end like yours did op? or do they still show as much affection and attention as before and actually try to strengthen the foundation of your friendship?

i would say in your case op, he is being honest and only can be friends at this time. i agree, do not continue sleeping with him. if you do love him, be there for him. he needs this from you right now and i imagine he would be so very grateful to receive your friendship. it hurts like a bastard but it is the right thing to do.
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OmagaIII
@OmagaIII
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 10 · Posts: 629 · Topics: 15
Ok, it feels like some replies are hit/miss. Now I haven't gone through your previous posts, and don't force me to if my answer isn't too your liking.

Anyway, this feels like security, and by that I mean financial as well as emotional.

Firstly, male taureans need to be financially stable before ANYTHING else can or will happen. Basically, if this isn't in place, we don't feel deserving of anything more. No way around this, it is part of our programming. A good mate, is a provider. If I can't provide, then I ain't good enough. It is about more that just the money here, so don't assume it is the physical luxuries.

Secondly, you mention that you have been intense from the start. Taurus don't mind the intensity but we sure as hell lose interest if it is too easy. If you guys have been up to some couch wrestling from very early in the relationship he might feel like this is fun, but way to easy and not quite what he expects from a woman/future wife ect.

Now without going into all the details, I think he was serious about not knowing what he wants. A part of it is you but a part of it is also not you. It could be that he feels a bit financially unstable but I don't think so, he is definitely cruising along in a specific direction.

I think that he played the relationship well up till now but realised that what has been happening is totally against what he wants, which is a form of morally correct life principals. He has his own gauge so I won't even go there.
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OmagaIII
@OmagaIII
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 10 · Posts: 629 · Topics: 15
Sorry, phone died.

Anyway... He might want to keep you around till he decides what he wants, or till youfade away. If you stay you will be renegades to the harem and you might not make thazt for long by the sound of things... If however yu stay it is still a very small chance that you ever be more again.

The choice in this case is yours.

He won't be honest about this since a part of him is atually scared of hurting you, and no, not necessarily because he likes you or cares, again it is more about the moral approach. The only way to know for sure is to confront him directly about this move and state your case. If you like the arrangement, great, if you don't, now is a good time to sort it out.