The push and pull game Taurus men play

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Livibowyah
@Livibowyah
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 36 · Topics: 5
So much history between us, good and bad. We've been involved for 4 years however we haven't been dating for over 6 months now. Some background on us:

We met in 2012 at work and sparks flew and the relationship developed so organically, everything felt so right and we both felt so at home with each other, we became lovers and best friends

Fast forward to 2015 and I developed a serious mental illness (borderline personality disorder) that started to take a huge toll on how I dealt with things between us and life in general. I stepped out of the relationship and cheated on him which ended up being one of the biggest and heart breaking mistakes I ever made. We went back and forth that whole summer and eventually during a time we weren't speaking as I became involved with someone else he moved away.

Now he has been away for almost a year. I have visited him a couple times and we have gone through some periods of months without speaking but we always end up having communication again. Our chemistry and connection is unmatched and we both of the same issue of not being able to shake each other's love or find anyone else comparable. I know my actions devastated him and I'm forever remorseful and many times wish there was some way I could change it. However, I do have the knowledge and wisdom now to never repeat those mistakes.

He's having a hard time figuring out what he wants to do which I'm completely understanding of. I think I've been courteous of giving him space and freedom. I've been understanding of dating other people because I just want him to be happy. He's told me to move on because he said he's no good for me and said he has nothing to offer. I know this to not be true because I've never wanted or need anything besides his love and friendship. So when I tell him it hurts for me to speak with him because if I have to move on I need to create distance in order to do so he ends up contacting me within 24 hours saying he loves me and can't be without me.

So it's been two weeks since he has said this and I truly feel he is scared of making the wrong decision because I burned him before. He's afraid of looking dumb which I am very empathetic towards. He has now been talking about us moving together to a different state but I'm also waiting for him to pull back which is what he has been doing since August. I've been playing this game and I don't know what to think.