To tell or not to tell...

I may have an opportunity tomorrow to tell this TM how I feel about him. And I do think he is awesome. He has a live in girlfriend. Nothing has EVER transpired between us except appropriate professional exchanges and some friendly laughs, etc. We have off the chart chemistry but I would never interfere in his life or his SO's life. He has never acted on it either. One of the reasons I respect him.

I am getting ready to move out of the state at the end of the month so it is likely that I will never see him again after that. Tomorrow circumstances will have us being alone together for a short period of time. I have two thoughts:

1) Don't say a word. Telling him I care about him is inappropriate. Just move and let it go.

2) Tell him. Not because I am making a play but because life only happens once. Perhaps he will be flattered and then I won't have to regret keeping silent.

I have no expectations from him. I am not looking to cheat or steal him away. I like his SO. We can't help who we have chemistry with. And after 8 years of working together, trust, respect and friendship. I do not want to wish I would have been honest down the road one day. But I also don't want to regret that I didn't just keep my big mouth shut either. So help me off the fence to make a decision. Thoughts? Advice? Thanks in advance.

Posted by Impulsv
U don't have to tell him u care for him romatically just a simple I valued ur Freindship respect n trust u. Thank you goodbey.That's all.
Why make it romantic if u are saying ur intentions aren't to break them up.

No, I REALLY am not trying to break them up but my feelings ARE romantic. I guess that is the point.

Sort of like this but not exactly...I love you like a love song, I think you are awesome, smart, fun and smoking hot. Please take it as a compliment. I just wanted you to know I think you are the total package before we get scattered to the winds and that your SO is a very lucky woman..

Does that make sense? If it was just valuing friendship I wouldn't say anything. I'm leaving lots of friends and don't need to have a heart to heart with them about it.

I think if you say anything it might get misinterpreted or cause unnecessary complications where there currently aren't any.

If you're not looking for a particular result or reaction then I'd leave it alone.

Posted by AgentP911
I think if you say anything it might get misinterpreted or cause unnecessary complications where there currently aren't any.

If you're not looking for a particular result or reaction then I'd leave it alone.

This is where I usually "live". However, a good friend is telling me that you only live once and that I should at least tell him how I feel...so I guess I started to question my original decision of keeping silent.

Impulsive - He is a Taurus and I'm a Scorpio. I don't want to tell him to be selfish...I want to tell him as a compliment. If someone told you those things it would make you feel good about yourself right? Like someone just told me I'm awesome and they care about me. He and I both know we would never act on it or that would have happened long ago. i know we both feel it. It was just never acknowledged. My friend who is encouraging me to be open thinks it will help me let it go if I'm able to express it.

So basically you want to plant a seed in his head about you practically declaring your undying love disguised as a friendly compliment and you expect him to just say 'great' and continue as normal...

Come on... You're a Scorpio... You live by provoking and manipulating along with smoke and mirrors...

I think it comes down to what's more important to you: his happiness or yours?

If it's HIS happiness, why tell him, what could it add? Sure it could make him feel good, but there's no guaranteeing how he'd interpret a last minute confession. It could stir up confusion or possibly disrupt his seemingly happy and stable life/relationship. And if he really is in a happy relationship with his SO, he doesn't need you to tell him how awesome he is or how lucky she is to have him because presumably she's already doing that. And that's the opinion that should matter the most.

On the other hand, if YOUR happiness is what matters, then of course tell him! That's where the 'you only live once, have no regrets' thing comes in. Because you would get something out of telling him regardless of his reaction, whether it's about getting something off your chest, giving yourself some kind of closure, or letting yourself walk away from this situation feeling good.


Of course there's the ideal situation of adding to -everyone's- happiness, but in reality you can only guarantee ONE. Just choose which one and proceed accordingly.

I tried to be honest with a friend I developed feelings for and I lost her completely in the end.

Very similar situation as you are in right now. My suggestion is, don't do it.

Don't do it. There is the potential u may remain friends and if u say something you could jeopardize that because maybe he wouldn't want to lead you on or give you the wrong idea. Taurus men are pretty loyal when they decide on a boo. So If he hasn't expressed romantic interest at this point he may not see u like that, or just really enjoys having you as a friend. Respect that and enjoy things for what they are.

Sorry to post and run yesterday. This is the first chance I've had to come back and read the responses. I will try and respond to everyone.

Libralicious72 - I think I more or less answered your question in the post above yours. I have never thought it was a great idea, although I have considered it, I always rejected it. A friend, who is a Taurus as well it turns out is the one who is actually questioning my silence. He thinks it would help with closure. So I thought I'd get some feedback on the pros and cons from those removed from the situation. Many of the things already said by other posters are why I have never said anything in the first place.

AgentP911 - I have an 8 year relationship with this man and the utmost respect for him. He isn't an idiot. Our chemistry is something that is out of our control. We have had many awkward moments and not because of anything inappropriate. My point being...he already knows. There isn't a seed to plant. I am almost 40 years old and have no need for smoke and mirrors, especially with this TM. Those games are for kids and he would see right through them anyway.

Untamed Leo - that is great advice. Honestly, I appreciate responses that make me think.

Thank you for sharing your experience seizure and I also think you have good points scorpiogryl. In the end, I did not say anything to him and will not. I agree with most of you. I think because I'm getting ready to move that and I knew we would have a chance to talk I re-visited the idea of telling him. It's still a bad idea but I appreciate you all working it out with me. Have a great weekend everyone!