How could I miss him?

I've posted about this cap boy whom I was seeing for about 5 months, not necessarily dating, but still talking/hanging out/getting intimate/whatever. Anyway, long story short, in between the cap's constant disappearing and just this feeling of unease throughout the entire time we were seeing each other, I found out the cap was seeing someone else at the same time as myself. He eventually stopped speaking to me even when I tried to reach out for friendship and I decided I no longer wanted nothing to do with him. I realized he only wanted me at his convenience and I felt very used by him by the time we were done. However, cap man texted me out of the blue, asking if I wanted to have sex with him even though I refused to do it with him throughout the time we were seeing each other. I told him how I felt and that he hurt me; cappy apologized (although it seemed half-assed), and I haven't heard from him since.

However, I was looking back after thinking of him randomly, and I realized that I still missed him, or at least some part of me still did. I thought I had gotten over him completely; I even gt over my jealousy towards him and the other girl he was seeing because I knew I deserved better. But I still missed the moments when we were open with each other and had fun. If anything, those were the only times I felt good with the cap. Ugh. I haven't understood what keeps a part of me holding on to him, but I do think it's a part of me that wonders if ever in our time together if he was genuine at all. Sorry, but I felt I needed to vent.

what u miss is the attention he gave u what ur feeling is ur ego being broken bc he believe sum one else is better than u.. the other women. He ask u for sex its clear what this man thinks ur GOOD FOR. Do not take this as a curse but a blessing. Because he could have strung u along and u would be worse off than now. Try not to dwel on this but to learn from it.

The thing is I know I'm better than him, or at least his expectations of me. What really bruised my ego is not only the fact that he went after someone else and established more, but that I fell for the very behavior I was usually good at weeding out. I do not like that I miss him, or at least the attention he gave me, because he doesn't really deserve the recognition; yet I found myself unable to stop that anyway. I guess I needed a little more time with this than I thought -sigh-

Well this is a virgo thing it sucks when u know it all the time u knew deep down inside what he really is but you hope it was wrong. I get that feeling all the time, u dismiss so many people bc of the same feeling. But one day someone comes along and you dought yourself and let someone in you really shouldn't. I now know what they mean when they say iqnorance is bliss. but like i said grow from this don't beat your self up.