Rolling the dice of no sex

I'm tired of the stupid, silly games that can be played on both parts. I'm not interested in shinanigans. I'm not interested in a relationship. I've even lost interest in sex. Why? Because it requires too much of me and from me. I've decided to delete sex from my life. So far, I haven't had sex in almost 2 months. Initially I was only going to do this for the duration of the summer, but now that I realize how powerful it is to not give in to sexual desires, I think I'm going to continue until I meet someone who is worthy to have sex with, and who actually knows me for who I am and not to play games with me, just to get me in bed.

So far, I have had mixed reactions about my decision to remain celebate. My roommate is going through her sexualization stage of her life. She recently got out of a 5 year relationship, and now is exploring her sexuality. It intrigues me the men that she decides to bring home. None of them are intelligent. None of them are sober. I wonder if she goes out purposely picking these men whom are lesser than her, just for her own personal satisfaction? She claims that she is done with monogamy, which I am inclined to agree with her about that, but with the descent from monogamy must come the realization that there is still some form of relationship that is going on when men are being courted for the purpose of sex.

It was due to her sexacpades that made me decide that I no longer want a part of any type of relationship, especially sex. Sex is too important to me, and I give too much of myself when I have sex with someone, that it needs to be shared, not given. When I decide to have sex with someone, it purely will be because I decide that's what I want, and not because I have played into some sex ritual and to just get laid.

We are taught that the sex revolution was a powerful movement for women, that they got to choose what they wanted to do with their bodies. I embrace that, but I really believe that part of being a powerful female in this world is doing your own thing, not dragging some silly boy around for entertainment, not being stuck in a relationship, a marriage, or some other pathetic box, but embrace what true individualism is about. I don't need to hav sex with men in order to prove how much of a female I am. I don't want to be a femme fatal, nor do I want to be conquered by men...

Your friend's situation and mindset may be something that works for her. You said she just got out of a long-term relationship, it's not uncommon for those who've probably felt "tethered" to someone for so long to feel the need to stretch, and exercise their bodies with some good ole fashioned nsa relations.

She sounds to me to be in a totally different place in her life right now than you are in yours, so what works for either of you right now just won't work for the other. No big.

As long as she's being safe about it, there's no reason to judge her negatively (even if, as you say, you disagree with her choices). She's most likely picking out guys like the ones you described to ensure that she won't get attached; it's really hard to just have meaningless sex with someone you are into on more than a physical/sexual level.

If you feel you need a break from what you call "the game", then take it. I can see where you're coming from with your viewpoint on how intercourse has become meaningless, and I agree with you on wanting to make sure that anytime you're having it with anyone, it's not boning or screwing, but lovemaking--I just feel better about the situation and myself when it's lovemaking.

Everyone operates differently, and those who use sex as a form of entertainment might not be able to understand those who use it as a way to bond deeply with others--vice-versa.

I have friends who are beyond promiscuous who can't understand why I'm not, but these same friends are constantly complaining to me that they don't ever feel they'll find "the one" and/or don't want to get married, etc. Perhaps using sex as a hobby led to that.

Alot of females fail to see the other side thinking that inaction is not as powerful as being active, but in fact, the decision we make for ourselves is what truly matters because at the end of the day you've only got one person to please. You.

I loved that part.

Yep, I've taken a break from all that *stuff* too. Feel great and I do feel more empowered 🙂 It's hard to describe, but I've should have done this a long time ago.

Posted by PandorasBox
The power and freedom that came from that revolution also gave us the power to decide when to abstain from things. Alot of females fail to see the other side thinking that inaction is not as powerful as being active, but in fact, the decision we make for ourselves is what truly matters because at the end of the day you've only got one person to please. You.

Agreed.

Plus, when a man really likes you he'll have to deal either way... He'll either like your kitty enough to stay or he'll like you enough to wait for when you're ready.

Time will tell on this one 😉 But this goes beyond sex. This actually requires for another human being to get to know me. I'm leaving myself vulnerable on a completely different level.

On a side not, I need some hot passionate sex damn it. I think this year may be the year for me lmfao!!

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Get it girl!!!!!

Posted by CLCNY30
Your friend's situation and mindset may be something that works for her. You said she just got out of a long-term relationship, it's not uncommon for those who've probably felt "tethered" to someone for so long to feel the need to stretch, and exercise their bodies with some good ole fashioned nsa relations.

Of course that's what it is.....

She sounds to me to be in a totally different place in her life right now than you are in yours, so what works for either of you right now just won't work for the other. No big.

Why would there be a biggie over this very simple thing—??

As long as she's being safe about it, there's no reason to judge her negatively (even if, as you say, you disagree with her choices). She's most likely picking out guys like the ones you described to ensure that she won't get attached; it's really hard to just have meaningless sex with someone you are into on more than a physical/sexual level.

Who's judging her negatively—? Where did I say that I disagree with her choices—? I said that I was intrigued..... and she picks these men not so she won't get attached. She picks them because it lessens the margin of rejection. She's opening herself sexually. She was enslaved in a 5 year relationship that was meaningless. Meaningless sex is not on her agenda, if you catch my drift 😉

If you feel you need a break from what you call "the game", then take it. I can see where you're coming from with your viewpoint on how intercourse has become meaningless, and I agree with you on wanting to make sure that anytime you're having it with anyone, it's not boning or screwing, but lovemaking--I just feel better about the situation and myself when it's lovemaking.

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REally, it boils down to that I'm not interested in any type of relationship. Sex is a form of a relationship. The amount of level of involvement and capacity relies on two people and what they want to gain personally out of it. On second thoughts, perhaps I should join a swingers club as a single!!!!

Everyone operates differently, and those who use sex as a form of entertainment might not be able to understand those who use it as a way to bond deeply with others--vice-versa.

I have friends who are beyond promiscuous who can't understand why I'm not, but these same friends ar

I apologize if I came off as being rude, or misunderstanding your vent--it wasn't my intention. I know you're saying you're frustrated, but I was saying I can see both sides of the argument, and didn't blame you for throwing your hands up for a while. Try not to let it stress you out so, and please--whatever you do, be careful.

But also, understand that for some sex is sex--it's their release. I get how you're viewing it--as you said, "a form of a relationship" but there are different types of relationships, some serious and some not so serious. Just find what you think will make you happiest, and cruise there until you find someone to really devote all that passion you have to.

Posted by CLCNY30
I apologize if I came off as being rude, or misunderstanding your vent--it wasn't my intention. I know you're saying you're frustrated, but I was saying I can see both sides of the argument, and didn't blame you for throwing your hands up for a while. Try not to let it stress you out so, and please--whatever you do, be careful.

What— Where are you coming up with this? There is no vent!!!! I'm not frustrated!!!! What would I be frustrated about?? And there is no argument after I have already made my mind up about my decision to have no sex. Throw my hands up and try not let what stress me out—? You have completely lost me here, sweetheart.

But also, understand that for some sex is sex--it's their release. I get how you're viewing it--as you said, "a form of a relationship" but there are different types of relationships, some serious and some not so serious. Just find what you think will make you happiest, and cruise there until you find someone to really devote all that passion you have to.

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I am one of those people that view sex as being sex when it's straight up on a sex level. That is why I am doing what I am doing, because just like you said, relationships in themselves have different levels. I just choose not to make a choice, unless it's something that I really want to do.

Okay M.I.A, I was only trying to help. Hope everything works out for you. Have a great weekend.

I agree with PB. I kind of need sex in my life, whether it's the actual physical act or what it can represent. Love is a big thing for me... but so is sex lol.

eh. give a guy a little booze and some smoothtalk and you could get him to fuck a belt sander. most males don't discriminate much when it comes to where to put their dick when it gets cold. a lot will pretend they're picky, but they aren't. as long as his sheets aren't getting dirty and his friends aren't finding out, in the dark a hole is a hole. basically. and these same guys are the ones who think that what they see in porn is what women like sexually, and they all think they're great at it. so they're cocky but not picky. ugh.

no wonder there's so many girls sweatin virgos. lol.

even though i've got an adidas libido, i barely get laid, because most guys will just come right out and ask for sex before they even know my last name, sometimes even my first name. i'm even thinking of taking a ride an another piscescoaster, because at least he's a cool guy, even though i know it couldn't work. but hey, i'm not in love with him, so at least he'd be well behaved.