Aqua Girl Update

Howdy Y'all,

Thanks to all who commented on my posts the past week or so. Some updates and if you have any comments, let me know. Again, I am curious what others think:

The Aqua girl seems to have withdrawn a little bit. She's friendly enough in our usual work interactions. She still laughs at my jokes when I'm with her and her female co-worker/boss.

However, in the couple of times at the end of the work day, when she and I are sometimes the last to leave, she hasn't been as talkative. I could sense she was uncomfortable. Once, I even tried to ask her how her day was as we left the office and she essentially said "ok" and just started walking to her car. I took it as a cue to shut the heck up and move along.

My personal thoughts:

1. It may have dawned on the Aqua girl that I was interested and she's holding back a bit. Maybe she's not interested. Maybe it's that shyness bit others have mentioned.

2. One thing definitely is in my over-enthusiasm, tried to talk to the Aqua girl after work. It's hard to strike up personal conversations in the course of the work day (esp. in a small office). So I did stay late (not like super late) a couple of times to see if I could talk to her. Maybe as a Aqua, she felt I tried to "get too close" or something and she freaked out a bit.

So at this point, I'm playing it as a cool customer. I'm just letting her be and not forcing anything. If I need to talk to her about work, I do it. Otherwise, I keep interactions minimal. I will keep my goals to just simply "earning some trust" and maybe becoming a "friend". Everything else can fall into place (if it's meant to be later).

Please drop any thoughts you might have. Thanks!

You're sweet, and you're doing well to cool off a little 🙂

Do you normally stay late, or is this a new thing?

Lady_M and others:

Man, there are times you wish you could start the conversation over! 😄

I re-read what I wrote and thought about it. I think I came up with a partial answer for myself. But here's a better explanation of what happened with regards to staying late at work and the Aqua gal.

When it comes to work, I typically DO NOT stay late. Occasionally, I might stay 30+ minutes or later to do any urgent things.

As far as how staying late at work and the Aqua gal go, here's the deal. We have cleaning people in the office on certain days. For a few weeks they came fairly late. A few times, the Aqua gal and I were the ONLY ones left in the office. The Aqua gal typically leaves work after me. Since I was the only other person still around, I didn't want to leave a lady all by herself so I stuck around. That's how we struck up some conversations.

Now back to my post today: I didn't have to stay at work last week. However, as I hadn't talked to the Aqua girl much lately, I tried to stay a little later than normal and catch her when she left. I didn't stay insanely late or anything but it was "intentional" on my part. The gal was somewhat unresponsive as I said. Also, we weren't the "last ones" in the office as another guy co-worker was around too so it wasn't like it was just the "two of us around".

I think the Aqua girl caught on to my intentions a little bit or at the least knew something was up and was uncomfortable with it. Perhaps I did scare her off unintentionally. I've had a lot of things to do after work the past few days so I have left before the Aqua girl. I'm just going to low-key things for a while and see if she warms up a bit again. I am starting to sense this gal is a lot like my other friend. Just getting through the front door will be very hard. It will take some time to earn some trust.

Let me know what y'all think.

Hater^


She knows what your doing...and she might be a bit weirded out by it.

Or she might not like you Or want to date someone at work...the whole privacy and space thing becomes an issue with intimate professional relationships.

Thanks! I honestly don't know what it is. I sort of sense she's shying away from me though. I knew being co-workers wouldn't help much so I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

If she's not interested, then you know, such is life. It doesn't mean I won't stop trying though! 🙂 If a chance comes up for me to talk to her naturally, I'll talk to her. The art of trying "without trying" 🙂

It is possible that I come off somewhat loud and energetic which is intimidating to a reserved and shy person. I remember when I liked a gal sometime ago, everytime I saw her, I would talk like a million miles an hour.

I think I personally need just to relax and talk like a regular person and let Aqua girl see the "real me". 😄

BTW - Since I personally brought it up and some of you commented....

What do most of you personally feel about workplace relationships? Any of you ever try to date a co-worker? Any good or bad experiences to share?

For me, I was heavily influenced by a friend who was strictly against workplace relationships. Too much potential for problems. Yet, the bad part is that I've been attracted to quite a few women at work in recent years. I haven't been met many others outside of work that I've really liked. In one case, I chose to do nothing. In another case, I tried to do something and it didn't quite go the way I wanted (long story).

In general, I would be against a work place relationship especially places where you have to work directly with someone. If you're in the same company different departments or something, that might be different depending on the individual.

In my case, I only tried to dip my toes to test the "waters". I wanted to see if there was interest and may be there still is.

Do any of you think the Aqua girl would be open to maybe becoming "friends" if I tried to be friendly but backed off on asking her out? Just because things might not work out now, doesn't mean you can't set up potential for the future.

Coach41,

Your girl is a typical Aquarian. And I am one. Not to break your heart, she'll give her time and attention to you if you approach her as a friend. You hit the target when you said "Do any of you think the Aqua girl would be open to maybe becoming "friends" if I tried to be friendly but backed off on asking her out?. For the next part you said "Just because things might not work out now, doesn't mean you can't set up potential for the future." I rather, you presume to become her close and good friend in the future.

I read both of you work in the same company. She is aloof as you have mentioned because of your close proximity to her. Aquarians value comfort zone, distance and space around us. You have a better chance at this relationship if you work in another co away from her.

Good luck.