aqua mad at gemini, and now wants me out his life

ok, well im new here, but i come here all the time to read the message boards, so i decided to join. alot of smart people here.

so ok, heres the deal. ive been in a relationship with this adorable aqua/cap. we both are on the cusp, as im a gemini/cancer. yeah i know. we have been together for nine months, and its been a rocky nine months. we are a online relationship bc we live far away. i love this boy, and he says he loves me too. we have broken up alot of times, mostly on his half over really dumb things, but i know he will come back so i dont really bug to much. just alot of heartache when hes gone. hes like the only thing i think about, hes all i really care about, and even though i try to busy myself like a normal gemini would and keep moving on, i date and always dump them, bc they arent him. i cant move on from this one. well the last time we broke up, it was my fault. see my aqua has alot of friends, girls and boys, and well the girls try to take him from me, but they have never actually done it. hes very loyal 🙂. but theres one friend of his that wont back down. she is the cause of our last breakup. she came to me on her profile and pretty much told me one of the biggest lies saying that he told his friends he was going to marry me and then laughed. that hurt me alot, bc im really up for marrying him. we have talked about it down to the t, and im like so excited for it. so when he got on, i asked him straight up, and he got like really poed. saying thats not what happened at all. the truth was they were at his aunts wedding and his mom told him that she cant wait till he finds the girl to be with forever, and he told her that he did, and i was it, and his mom smiled and said shes happy for him. the girl though made a smart remark saying that i cant even keep him to myself, and he said for her to shut up, that shes only mad because he cant get him or anyone else for that. then everyone laughed at her. i felt really dumb for believing because i knew she wanted him anyway, but i still get scared bc hes the best thing i could ever ask for. well later that night he was like he thinks we need to take a two week break, bc theres alot of drama, and he doesnt want it to tear us down where we cant fix it. he loves me and thats why hes doing it. well in the process of him talking to me on the computer, i had to go catch my rabbit bc my brother was being a little winey girl and he thought i was ignoring him, and got mad. i came back to a screen with

"so this is how its going to end?" and i was like huh? i asked what was wrong and he said "nothing. bye" and i said bye. he closed out and i thought we broke up, so i changed my status. he got mad, later he started to date another girl, and i was mad. told my best friend that he was just another boy, and that i didnt need him. i could get another one. completely out of anger. didnt mean it. he read it and it hurt him alot. he was going to talk to me about getting back, but it hurt him way to much. just little things he said. so then i finally swallowed my pride and even though i was scared, messaged him. we talked and before we knew it, we were kissing and having sex. we were back together. but hes been different ever since. hes always saying things like "if you want to date someone else its ok 🙂" and its confusing me. i just brushed it off though. but now its different. the guy that i dated when we broke up last popped back into the pic and asked him if we were together. he just replied to him "were just friends". out of being hurt, and thinking he didnt want me anymore from all the boy comments and things, i let him go and dated my ex. when he got on, i asked him and he admitted it, saying that he felt we were just friends again. but i know him well. i feel like hes hiding something. i feel like he still cares, but hes just so, out of it. hes completely left me on my own. i want him back. noone is like him, and im so sorry for the misery ive caused him. ive apologized a million times. can someone please help me?

I hope you are using multiple forms of birth control. You are too young emotionally to be dating anyone seriously. Why? Because you both can't communicate in a meaningful way. Real love has a deep foundation that doesn't get swayed so easily by other people or circumstances. It takes a long time to get to a place where you know what you need (not just want) in a relationship.

I know your feelings are sincere but don't waste too much energy on relationships while your focus should be on school & your future. You are not ready for a commitment to him until you make a commitment to yourself first.

Okay, here goes:

You are both young. This is no disrespect to the way you feel as i understand your feelings are very real. However, what you want now is not necessarily what you may want in the next couple of years or so, just keep it in mind.

You say he is very loyal - but if you guys are dumping each other all the time then he may be loyal in some ways, but not to the relationship you want. You either make it or you break it.

This guy likes the attention. It's an Aqua trait. If he doesn't get it, he bitches about it by the sounds. It's normal for an Aqua because, for lack of a better expression - we are up our own arses with arrogance, and some Aqua's have a superiority attitude that says "Thou shalt give me your attention because I am the shit". It's arrogance and it's probably there to stay as a trait.

Aqua's do NOT like drama. If it's some else's drama then it's okay to a point but when it's directly affecting us, we hate it and will make it disappear by making sure you are not in our life until the drama stops. If it continues, you're gone for good, end of story.

If he's telling you it's okay to date other people then it's pretty much run its course. Since us Aqua's are very loyal in a relationship, if there is a loss of affection or feeling, we'll tell you to date others - and we really don't care for the relationship any longer and there's a chance someone else has our interest already.

Don't be overly sorry for the misery, I'm pretty sure he's responsible too, so apologising a thousand times isn't needed. in fact tell him "Look man, I've apologised already, I'm not doing it again. take it or leave it because I'm not kissing your ass over it". I'm serious. Dead serious. It'll give YOU instant respect and he may just see you in a different light.

well thanks. last night we talked. he apologized to me out of the blue for what he did. and i said it was ok, in a certain way by telling him if he continues to do it, i will have nothing to do with him period. well he went pretty quite on cam, and then he said hes sorry, but he thought it would help him to believe it would be ok if i left him. he told me i was the best thing he had, and the last long relationship he had the girl left him up and out of nowhere for another guy and it hurt him. i told him im not that girl. im pretty much in love, and even though im considered young, i cant control what my heart says. he said he understood, and for the first time in a while he actually let me in saying that he does love me, hes just scared. he hates the thought of me being with someone else and i agreed. we are back together at this point, but i feel like hes got more things bothering him. idk, but ill work with him to figure it out

Posted by geminicaplover
well thanks. last night we talked. he apologized to me out of the blue for what he did. and i said it was ok, in a certain way by telling him if he continues to do it, i will have nothing to do with him period. well he went pretty quite on cam, and then he said hes sorry, but he thought it would help him to believe it would be ok if i left him. he told me i was the best thing he had, and the last long relationship he had the girl left him up and out of nowhere for another guy and it hurt him. i told him im not that girl. im pretty much in love, and even though im considered young, i cant control what my heart says. he said he understood, and for the first time in a while he actually let me in saying that he does love me, hes just scared. he hates the thought of me being with someone else and i agreed. we are back together at this point, but i feel like hes got more things bothering him. idk, but ill work with him to figure it out

Excellent.

Respect gets results. Results get communication. Communication gets action, instead of going around in circles and taking it out on each other 🙂

lol, yeah i know. i try to respect him in every way possible. i dont crowd him, and he doesnt crowd me. we are like best friends, and i can tell that alot of the time i pay for what past girls have done to him. his past relationships are as worse as mine, and i unlike a normal gemini have a very emotional and understanding way with him. i guess its my cancer. lol, well all i know is that i take my time with him. and he learns more, as i do. we have problems, but i will work as long as he does. but thanks for helping