Aqua man is changing

Some know my story & some don't but I would like to get some feedback if you can.

We've been really good friends for a little over a year now. Only recently has the friendship moved towards dating. We do work in the same department together but do not work directly together. Anyway, everything seemed to be going great. About a month ago I noticed a change in him. He seems to be getting quiet & in a way softer in the way he interacts with me. It's hard to explain. It's sort of like we went from talking & joking about everything under the sun to this odd boundary of not everything is up for discussion. I'm thrown by this. He's also been much calmer with his tone & a little more in his own world.

I just not sure what this is about. I ask if everything is okay but not so much so that I'm a nag. He always says yes that things are good so I really don't want to over think it but I am thrown by it.

So I guess my question is if it's normal? Is he changing because he's more invested or is it that he's moving away. The behavior is new so if you have some feedback I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks!

Welcome to the joys of dating an aqua!

Relax. The more you analyze it, the more you will frustrate yourself. And that vibe of frustration will make it worse. Believe me. I know. As long as he is still coming around you are fine.

The softer tone is good. It is a subconscious action of caring. . Keep being yourself (obviously he likes you for yourself). Show him you are happy with him just the way he is - by actions, not words. Once he trusts you he will open up. Also, know that there is comfort in being able to just be quiet with someone.

If you have to address it do it in a way that is about you without addressing it. Like when he does open up "it makes happy that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me".

Right now you see it as an inconsistency. After a while you will realize there is consistency within inconsistency.

Thanks Truecap. I'm going to take the advice and see where it goes. I appreciate the help.

It could be both. But since he's an Aqua, I'm with TrueCap in that if he was losing interest, he wouldn't be around at all. Aquas don't just move on emotionally when they're bored or done with someone. They move on physically too. And you'll know when that happens b/c suddenly they'll stop wanting to be around you

Maybe he's going through something in his personal life. He might be comfortable with you on a general level, but when it comes to deep-rooted problems he may not fully trust himself enough to open up to you OR he may be the type of person in general to keep it to himself, only leaving clues with his quietness & sudden inconsistency as his hint to others that that's exactly what's going on

Maybe he's just going through the typical Aqua face. Sometimes Aquas retreat when their feelings start getting intense for you. The infamous battle of heart vs. mind. Sometimes Aquas don't realize that when this battle is going on, it shows!! lol We think it's all in our own heads w/o ever considering or realizing that our actions & behaviors towards others have changed b/c of that inner battle

If that's really what's going on, your best bet would be to stick around & show him that his phases don't phase you. Show him that you'll still be there & that your feelings for him haven't changed. The min you start getting stiff or withdrawing from him, he'll notice, take offense to it & chalk it up as you not being the type who can master understanding him. Even if that's not the truth, it won't matter b/c he'll take it in that way

BUT, I'm aware that this about us can be extremely frustrated & draining, especially if he's constantly having those heart vs. mind battles. You don't have to put up with it. No one is ever obligated to put up with inconsistency, no matter what the reason. But if you really like him & if your gut is telling you to stay, then stay.

Thank you both.

If these are phases then I can totally handle it. He's the one I want to be with. He's the first man I've felt this much for in probably 15 years. There's something about him that makes me feel like I'm home if that makes any kind of sence. I have no desire to "run" at all. I just want to understand the change. I know he's been going through some medical stuff that I thought maybe the reason for this change. We always talk about it when he has dr appts and although I know it upsets him (nothing major by the way) and he says he's getting old. I laugh to mysel cuz he's only in his 40's and in pretty good shape.
Anyway, he never seems to not want to be around me but he does seem to be in his own world. He almost seems a little depressed which hasn't been like him. He's been quiet before but this feels different for some odd reason. Your probably right either there is more he's going through then he's leading on or he is going through the battle of the heart and mind. He has been much softer with me. Not the school yard playful fun more like a sweet softness...like talking softer and using lots of eye contact. His eyes say a lot I've noticed too. It's almost romantic in a way but at the same time he's distant like he's thinking so much and saying nothing.

I appreciate you both taking the time to respond. It's helpful to me. So again thanks.

I see some typo's..oops

Just be patient. I promise, it pays off.
From what you wrote, sounds like he is really into you. 🙂

Yep he's really into you

His feelings for you of course won't soften the blow of all he's going through in his personal life BUT I think he's being much softer with you b/c he's putting in the extra effort to not push you away or be too rough with you at a time when he probably needs you the most

And that my dear is a GOOD sign! Usually Aquas aren't even acknowledging of how we come off & how we change (even in the smallest ways) when we're going through something b/c what we're going through consumes our mind so much that we barely have the time or energy to think of others. An Aqua who truly loves/values you though will check himself & do the necessary work to make sure his depression/problems isn't coming b/w you & him. That means that you are someone he knows he can't afford to lose.

Even if he wasn't going through something on the side, I'm sure you'd notice a more subtle softer change in him anyways. How Aquas are when they just like you & how they are when they're starting to fall for you can be 2 completely different people lol Yes we get much softer, yes we get more romantic, & yes we start including your feelings into our own. That, my dear is our way of showing you through our actions that we are submitting ourselves to you & that we're giving ourselves permission to be more & more vulnerable

Don't be offended though if he's not gonna tell you every single shred of his problems. One, that's a man thing anyways lol you know how men are! They like to keep a lot to themselves. With time he'll def. come around.

Everything you're doing to stay in his corner now is NOT going unnoticed! Trust me! He's observing you while you observe him if that makes sense. Good luck girlie =)

Wow, thank you. Thank you both.

This has helped in more ways than you know. I had prayed he wasn't moving away because the change was so different but now I get it. I feel a weight lifted and I truly thank you for that.