Aqua's Have Crazy Defense Mechanisms!!

I have noticed if my boy make me even a little mad I am thinking of splitting, even for the smallest thing, like he is tired and doesn't want to hang out..I'm like.."Okay so it's over then right" We have never argued, not one time in 10 mos, and he is the sweetest guy ever!!! Why are we so self centered and defensive when we can't get our way?? This is becoming a problem for me..

Well, I will admit that we Aquas are quite the stubborn creatures, BUT being stubborn is completely DIFFERENT than being unwilling to squash an issue altogether. It's 1 thing to harbor pride b/c you're being stubborn BUT it's another thing to purposely see fleeing every situation as the "fix" or solution to all your problems. As the saying goes, "PICK YOUR BATTLES."

I've noticed that Aquas are quick to leave a situation that becomes emotionally draining when they are NOT emotionally attached to someone. I've seen many Aquas get called "evil" all b/c they were unwilling to stay in a highly dramatic/emotionally-draining situation. BUT this usually only happens when an Aqua is NOT invested in someone/something.

Sounds like you might just have separation issues. The fact that you're so quick to flee & give up on everything in the heat of the moment when it's really unncessary stems moreso from insecurities deep within you. Alot of people do this b/c they sub-consciously fear being left or walked out on; thus they make it a point to purposely be the FIRST 1 to walk away from the situation so that they won't ever be the ones left abandoned, hurt & confused. It's about control. And the person that turns their back to walk away is almost ALWAYS the 1 in control, leaving the other person to feel helpless & like everything is their fault.

You walking away is just communication issues. It's 1 thing to be ready to split for good when things are THAT bad. Hell sometimes walking away from someone and/or the relationship is the for the BEST. BUT, some people are always making up just to break up. Almost as if they see it as some kind of "game" or mind manipulation trick. When you do this, you're always making it so that the OTHER person is only left to chase after YOU, even if YOU are the 1 who should be doing the apologizing.

Try to figure out what it is in YOU that's making you so fearful of staying in the situation & working things out. Try to figure out why it's SO important for you to have to be the 1st person to walk away. The "rush" "thrill" or "feeling" you get in those moments can probably shed alot of light on exactly WHY you're this way.

People may continue to hang around with someone like this for a short-while. BUT, once people get "hip" to this game or once people start feeling like fixing the issue is POINTLESS & is only on YOUR time, they'll give you only ONE MORE TIME to leave them before you realize you've lost them forever

Understand that always fleeing the situation translates to the other person that you:
1. Don't care. Most people figure that those who don't care don't mind losing that person, while they figure that those who DO care will do whatever it takes to work things out. Most people want someone who sees breaking up as the LAST RESORT, not the 1st.

2. YOU are the problem. Sometimes people envy an Aqua's ability to walk away & be quick to disconnect from any petty situations, BUT they only understand this about Aquas when the other person truly HAS done something wrong. If a person starts to realize that you're always so quick to abandon them/leave them high & dry over the small things, they'll just simply assume that you're NEVER satisfied & that they're damned if they do & damned if they don't!

Remember that others like getting their way TOO. Remember that others hate being walked away from & left high & dry too. Remember that everything is NOT always about you & YOUR feelings. Remember that it doesn't feel good for someone to bluntly signal to you that it's EASY for them to walk away from you. Remember to PICK YOUR BATTLES. Remember that most people see your willingness to walk away from issues that could've easily been solved as you being disrespectful and/or you taking them for granted. Remember that it's mighty arrogant of you to be so quick to threaten to walk away from a situation, especially if you're always assuming that things will be fine again when you FINALLY decide to come back.

Understand that every single time you show someone how QUICKLY you are to walk away from them, that it will eventually backfire on you! Understand that some people keep score/count of how many times you walk away from them & that often times, the person always walking away is completely OBLIVIOUS to the fact that if it happens ONE more time, things are over for good. And if that's NOT what you really want, stop writing that in permanent marker on your forehead. Be careful what you wish for!

That's not a defensive mechanism - it's a childish game of control.

I agree with this.

All helpful!! Wow!