Calling All Aquas

so i need help. ok backdrop: i have an aqua ex of almost a year. we have just broken up, and we have been friends since. which isnt hard since im a gemini. however i really do love this boy, and he claims he loves me just as well, so we have stayed exclusive to each other, and we were trying to rebuild our relationship slowly. i got a bit impatient with him since it had been like almost three months now, and i started thinking which is never smart, and told him i didnt want to talk anymore. i didnt get a chance to tell him why, which honestly was just that i loved him way to much to stay friends. it hurt more to be his friend than anything. but i didnt have the time to tell him bc he got mad at me thinking i was p.oed at him and i wasnt. he got mad and said w.e. i have better things to do, and left. well then the next day, the events that happened didnt help at all. i had to give my phone to my brother bc he had to turn it back on, and i was out with friends and all day didnt have my phone, but i found that my brother was prank calling my friends off my phone. i got onto him bc it wasnt cool, and he said sorry. well this morning i got a call from one of my really really close friends i consider a sister and shes in tears. i was like whats wrong? she said that she thought i was dead. i was like what? she said that my brother called her saying she was dead. so i called my brother with her on the phone and had him apologize to her and everything, thats when she told me i had bigger problems. the aqua i was going to leave alone she told him, and he at first was like tell me this is a joke, but then he got supper p.oed and was like "i dont find this funny. shes not dead, and she probably had her brother call you and tell you this bc shes mad we arent together. she thinks i dont know how much she loves me, but thats not it. w.e. i dont have time for these childish games, im going to move on, and live my life." as you can see hes very mad. i know i said i didnt want to be friends, but it hurts to much to not have him in my life. i decided i would rather have him. my friend also told me that he now has a new gf, and it broke my heart, but she said that he said he loved me still. i just need help. hes super mad at me, and i dont know what to do, and honestly to be honest, leaving him alone isnt an idea for me anymore, i dont want that

Damn.
1. Well he may not believe you & your brother like your close female friend did when you both called to apologize BUT the least you can do is try. And whether or not he believes you is up to him. Have your brother call him & explain his reasonsings for why he made the prank call. And if the guy isn't willing to hear it, then maybe he's purposely looking for reasons to walk away from you & is just trying to find ways to blaim YOU so that all the blaim won't be on him & how he REALLY feels behind closed doors. Sometimes people are emotionally ready to walk away, but b/c they may not yet have the courage to do so, they'll wait for the other person to do something wrong so that they'll finally have an excuse/justification to walk away.

2. Don't assume that just b/c he has a new girlfriend that it won't work out b/w them. The WORST thing you can do is get your hopes up when an ex finds a rebound. Don't convince yourself that you can remain sane as long as he continues on having feelings for you, even if he's with someone else. I.E. don't convince yourself that, "Oh she's just a rebound & he still loves me so I'm not pressed." If he's moved on, I HIGHLY doubt that your brother apologizing & him actually ACCEPTING that apology will change anything. He moved on b/c he WANTED to, not b/c he was "forced" to by some prank call. So don't blaim yourself for why he moved on; he was ready to. And just b/c you still have an emotional attachment to someone else doesn't mean that a person is not willing to meet/find someone else to slowly but surely distract them from the initial person they originally/really wanted.

3. You were right the 1st time. You shouldn't be friends with someone you really want more from. That's just torture for you & conveinance for them. All you had to do was be 100% honest with him about how you felt regarding you 2 just being "friends." He may not have liked your honesty BUT had you been honest, it could've spared you from all that you're going through now. You guys are having communication problems. He wouldn't be so confused now had you just told him then. Plus, it's NEVER too late; you can always tell him the truth NOW, if anything just for the sake of saying that you did.

It's time to move on. Just b/c you love someone doesn't mean that a relationship with them is ideal. You were right the 1st time. It will continue to kill you if you remain friends with him AS LONG as you continue having an emotional connect with him.

Everybody deals with separation differently. Sounds like you'd rather give in & allow the "friendship" to torture you vs. just suffering the temporary pain of removing him from your life & moving on. Yes you still love him BUT you know how YOU are. And if you can't handle anything less than a relationship, then be honest about that b/c if you aren't, 1 or both of you will continually be confused, which would eventually & probably lead to the end of the relationship AND even friendship in the long-run anything. Point is, you aren't "losing" anything by being honest with yourself. You've got way MORE to lose by suppressing your feelings & desire for healing.

He may still love you too BUT he may have also come to the realization that what you 2 are is NOT healthy or ideal. So HIS way of dealing with it might be to move on to someone else. No, the other person won't replace you nor will him jumping into something with someone else necessarily heal the emotional turmoil he has with you, BUT it will offer him temporary distraction from you.

Understand that the only way he may find it possible to completely be without you is to find someone ELSE to distract him & who can occupy most of his time. Trust me, he's not the only 1 who finds it hard to be completely cut off from you/without you. BUT, just b/c he moves on doesn't mean that he stopped loving you. No, it's moreso that he's acknowledged already that staying around won't be of great gain in the long-run, thus he might feel that it's best for him to move on to someone else now before he has a severe "Crash" later on after realizing that him holding on just to hold on made him lose more than he gained.

Maybe him moving on was a GOOD thing for you both. You 2 can probably be friends OR even possibly re-establish a relationship in the future, BUT right now things are too tense. There's too much emotional tension, confusion & turmoil for you 2 to have effective communication.

Don't stick around just for the sake of holding on. Be true to yourself. If you can't be "just friends" keep it real with him AND even more importantly, YOURSELF about this. He didn't move on to someone else to spite you; he did it b/c he's ALSO realized that he can't do the "friendship" thing with you & unfortunately, his way of starting the pace to move on is in him trying something new/fresh with someone else. Don't take it personal. That's just HIS way of doing things.

i guess, i just really dont want to walk away from him. its just weird bc my best friend is his too, and apparently he had the status of being in a relationship on his page before this, and he didnt say anything to her or me about it, and he usually tells her everything, and hes very straightforward with me, he never told me either. we had actually talked a few days before this about being together, and he said hed think on it, and the next night he was flirty hardcore with me and i know this bc he was pushing me into walls and pinning me down on the floor and stuff and this is the way he acts when hes thinking about dating someone. i know him that well. my friend doesnt think he has one, bc he had it on his profile before and wasnt dating, and i did too, bc i just dont want to look at single. its depressing. idk, my friend just said to give it a few days, bc from what happened if it was me i would be mad just like him, and he has every right, but the bigger problem is i asked my brother if he would, and he said no. my brother hates my him, and he has no reason to. i begged him knowing how much i care for him, and all he said was if he believes you ok, but its his fault for jumping to conclusions. this is just getting blown out of order over his stupidity

so day two of him not showing his face. how long do you think this will go on? please i need help

Hey geminicaplover,

the thing with Aquarius people is that we are very very very perceptive. The fact that you left and said "i dont want to do this anymore" means nothing. WE KNOW there is a reason but you didn't give me the basic respect to explain it. I have many Gemini friends both male and female. you guys sometimes say things that leave it mysterious...other people end up having to analyze what you guys mean. For instance rather saying "i dont want to talk anymore" i would've said "its been 3 months, i know we should take it slow..but i feel like its going nowhere...i dont want to put pressure in making you being with me..im glad we're still trying it again...i just don't know where you stand". Gemini people seem to play games...in the way they communicate towards others. They say one thing but their actions conflict..leaving other people question both action and their words.

I can tell you one thing...we're always thinking ahead..and most likely predicted how you would act. BUT we also give people benefit of teh doubt despite our logic/reasons are highly right. The fact you just said "i dont want to to talk" proves that your are probably too fickle for him..and perhaps that is the reason he was out for 3 months and not going further. You need to show him your here to stay. not here today gone tomorrow. There could be a plethora of possibilities..

sweetie at the end these "possibilities" need validation...i say be opened and completely honest with your fears and wants and needs. Like how you wrote out your concerns here. that is what a relationship is...trusting that the other person will honor..respect who you are..where you are, and what you are, your fears, weakness, ambitions, dreams and flaws.

I know most aquarius already know the answer..they just need the other person to say it. BEcause what happens is over time we pick up patterns that go beyond words...those pattern give us our answer. AND if your not being real...we will just drop you. We're not dumb. Your words and actions must be consistent. the more an aquarius has to think "is he/she right for me" "why is she/he doing this?" the more questions they ask themselves pertaining to you, the less chance you'll have him. or any aquarius.

We ssay things how it is...and we expect others to do so too.

if you want him back...you need to go to him ONCE "LAST" time and give him your thought and explain everything: the death call, the reasno why you said "i dont want to talk anymor

e" you need to say everything because they already probably know. He was right about the call in a sense where you "think he doesnt love you" not perhaps the call itself but he knows what you feel. You jsut gotta be real!

now, the hard part...aquarius move on quickly...easy come easy go. i can wake up one day and be completely finding the guy i was in love with yesterday..disgusting...

i have to say..if your honest and genuine..and you tell him "i jsut want you to know this because i realized i wasnt being fair or completely opened...i miss you."

then let him decide.

the thing is i did tell him how i felt. before this happened maybe three days before i thought he wouldnt hear me but he did, and he listened to me and my brother talking about how i felt with him. he heard the whole thing, and when i went to talk to him the first thing he said was, "im so sorry" i asked for what not knowing he was listening and he said "for hurting you". i told him its not really him, its just whats going on. he said he knew but he was just confused, wanted to know where we stood and i told him, i loved him, and he said he knew this. that he feels like he cant give me what i wanted, and i asked him what did he think i wanted, and he said a perfect relationship. i told him thats not what i want, i understood exactly what was wrong. well here, this is our convo:

Shane---: sorry what did you say
XxBulletproof_LovexX: im just saying it couldve been, but it didnt. theres nothing we can do about that now. listen, i know youre trying to give me all that you can, bc you THINK i want something, but thats the problem, you think. you and i have never really talked about it. so how would either of us know?
Shane---: yeah so then lets talk
XxBulletproof_LovexX: ok, so lets start here, what is it that you think i want?
Shane---: a perfect relasionship ...
XxBulletproof_LovexX: o.O who said i wanted that? lol, shane listen, im not aiming for perfect. i honestly have no idea what a perfect one would be. wait, no i do, but to be honest, i might be a dreamer, but even i know that noone will manage that. we will make mistakes, we will fight, we will be mad at each other, i keep telling you this, i just need you to realize i dont want you to go just bc of it. im not aiming for perfect
Shane---: alright its just to much were to yougn to be thinking about the future in my mind....but at the same you seem more mature then me cause you want like a family andstuff its like jezz but iam not saying i dont want you in my life its hard to even image
XxBulletproof_LovexX: yes shane i do what kids and things, but that stuff comes so much further down the line. im still in the phase of thinking if i even want kids. im not one to have to wake up at three in the morning for anyone, lol, but youre right. we are young, but im not trying to take your freedome from you bc i still want mine. i want to party and stuff as long as i can, and im taking that will be a very long time. shane to be honest im a dreamer, and i dream alot, but the thing is dont take al

dreams
XxBulletproof_LovexX: so serious, bc most of the time, they change constantly. the whole family thing goes in and out, and i dont want that till FAR FAR FAR DOwn the line, and to be honest, im even questioning marriage. lol, idk, these things seem idk, something i dont want right now
Shane---: yeah well alright i just dont know about us if we stay friends it ends up hurtting you and if we get together ill end up fucking it up....
XxBulletproof_LovexX: shane why do you think youll fuck it up?
Shane---: you do know all the times we broke up was because of me and you do know all those times you cryed when we were together were because of me
XxBulletproof_LovexX: ok, but what about all those times i stayed up telling rush how happy you made me? or how about the times you made me smile, and laugh. shane the problem is your thinking youre going to do something and anticipating it bc youve done it before, and you think its best to flee when you mess up bc youve done it before, but the truth is is all that is the past. weve broken up in the past from several rumors, my insecurity, you feeling like your not doing anything, me shooting my mouth off being
XxBulletproof_LovexX: stupid, when all it really shouldve been is talking like we are now. its scary i know for sure, but its better than causing problems and confusion.
Shane---: yeah ...just not use to actuelly likeing a girl for her , its usally cause i wanna fuck them anyways yeah well see
XxBulletproof_LovexX: lmao,, i love how honest you are
Shane---: lol yeah... i love it too : D
XxBulletproof_LovexX: lol, shut up
Shane---: :] why do you tell me to shut up its not like i listen lol
XxBulletproof_LovexX: *rolls eyes* lol, im not even going to comment, if i say no, you dont listen, that comes to bite me in the ass, so you know what, I PLEAD THE FIFTH
Shane---: lol you know me so well
XxBulletproof_LovexX: exactly. ive fallen for that one to much
Shane---: lol , sences you know me so well what iam i thinking about right now


and then we started joking around like we always do. idk. so i have put out there what it was, and then the night after this, he was flirting with me and pushing me into wall and stuff. my friend said he had his profile set to in a relationship before we even had this convo, but thats the thing, weve broken up before and hes always told me when hes gotten a new gf, he didnt this time. he usually will spill the beans easily bc hes just that strai

ght like that, but theres nothing for this one.

Well even if he made up this whole "in a relationship" thing that's STILL a bad thing for your case. And the fact that he didn't tell you or your mutual best friend means that it's more likely that he really IS in a relationship. Had he been bragging about it to everyone I would've guessed that he was only doing so to make you jealous, get you back for what he considers you turning your back on him/playing a trick on him, etc. BUT he obviously kept this hidden from you for a reason. So I don't see why he'd randomly do something for "dramatic effect" if his main audience (you & your friends) don't even know about it.

You saying that you want him back in your life sounds moreso like what you WANT vs. what you actually NEED. You guys already tried being friends & it did NOT work, so why go back down the same path?! And if he's entered into a new relationship, it'll be THAT much harder for you guys to go back to being "half friends/half lovers" especially since he'd have some serious explaining to do! After all, I know it's possible for someone to move on a day later BUT it's NOT a good thing when someone plays mind games/leads the other person on only to go to be a completely different person behind closed doors.

If I were you, I'd just let it go for right now. You've got too much emotional turmoil going on. If he really is in another relationship understand that him pretending that he is (and the message him doing that sends to you & everyone else) in one is just as worse as him actually being in 1. A person lying about being in a relationship is literally sending the signal for others or a specific person to "stay away." His reasons for why he might want you to stay away might stem from fear or an emotional attachment to you BUT all that matters is that if THIS is his way of moving on/dealing with things then you're better off just walking away & figuring these things out for yourself.

Don't sit around & analyze whether or not he's really taken already. Don't make the same mistake twice. I know it's easier said than done but atleast try. And try for longer this time. It's ok to want to remain friends in the future, BUT sweetie you've already been shown that for RIGHT NOW that won't work, so if your goal is to avoid as much emotional torture as possible, it does NOT make sense for you to go right back down the same path that got you this upset in the 1st place.