Confused

I have been seeing this aquarius man for 2 years now. I am cancer. He asked me if I love him. I told him yes. I asked him if he loves me and he said that I will know if he does and I will have all of him. What is that mean? Why would he ask me if I love him? I've asked him to end us if he has no plans for us. He would tell me to end things since I am the one who wants out.

Weak response on his part. It sucks he didn't answer your question after you answered his. It would piss me off. I wouldn't have let him get away with that. I would have called him out on it and told him I was irritated because he avoided answering his own question and would have asked him how he would of felt if I had answered the way he did.

That said, it's obvious when an aquarius loves you though. Yah, it's always good to be sure and have him confirm it, but you should be able to tell by his actions and how he treats you.

Maybe, he wants you to end it— Depends on yall's history. Hard to say when I don't know any details of your relationship.

So, what do you think? Do you think he loves you?

Everyone says its easy to tell, but they are the most secretive people ever!

Truecap-

He treats me with respect. I've told him I'm done so many times and he would tell me to remember I ended it and he would make comments that insinuate that he wanted more. He says true does not weary. He said that our relationship has grown and his outlook on me and us have evolved. Sometimes he acts like we are friends and sometimes he acts like a jealous bf. I have a lot of suitors and I tell him all about it. He makes comment like maybe I should consider one of them. So I said ok. I would go out on valentines. He texted me and asked if I was going with the guy. I almost forgot about it. I told him i haven't told the guy yes. I sent him pictures of what I was gonna wear. He said it mattered not to him what I wore. Thursday night he asked me again and I told him i will call him in the few minutes. Valentines Day I chsnged my mind. I didn't really want to go with anybody but him. I didn't tell him I canceled. I went out with my girls instead. I got text from him saying that we both going to have fun with our own date. I was upset coz I didn't know he had plans. He told me if you didn't care why so bothered sho I'm going out. We went back and forth. I told him that I was with my daughters and he texted back to tell me that his date was with with her daughter. He told me to consider the guy. I took his advice. He said it's not his advice. He will not tell me if he loves me. He said i always say I'm done and disappear for days. He doesn't know if I will be here the next day that's why he doesn't open up. I'm getting to the point that I just want to drift away. I love him.

1. Somebody can have an enormous amount of endurance to stay in a relationship. That doesn't mean the relationship is healthy or worth it. Some people stay for their own self-seeking reasons, especially if their intentions are bad (i.e. they're using you for financial support, sex, pressure to stay b/c of kids, or as a live in babysitter for their kids). So don't always assume that LOVE is the reason people stay. Him not technically breaking up with you isn't code for oh wow he must really love me.

2. If he loved you, he would tell you. He's not stupid. He knows that refusing to reveal that he loves you will spawn negative results from you as it would ANY woman. If you running away is a result he doesn't want, he'd man up & tell you that he loves you. He probably cares for you, but I doubt he truly loves you or is in love with you.

3. If he wanted a serious commitment with you, he would've made it happen already. Men become very territorial when they see prey that they only want for themselves. If he considered you long term prey, he wouldn't dare keep putting himself in situations that would result in him most likely losing you to another guy

4. Why won't you trust your gut? If it's telling you to run, then chances are it's b/c you should! Women in these situations always end up looking back after many years of wasted time & heartbreak wishing they would've listened to their gut.

5. Judge a man's intentions & feelings about you based on what he DOES, not what he says.

6. Him trying to convince you that you're the primary reason for why he's not fully committed to you is a manipulative tool used on his part. He's got you wrapped around his finger & YOU KNOW IT! You give ALL of yourself to him just to get HALF of him in return. It's no wonder your inner instincts/intuition are telling you to run

7. Take your time & your life more seriously. If he's not giving you what you want or deserve, then leave. Sometimes you've just gotta put your big girl panties on, forget about how you feel, & focus on what you deserve.

8. Damn it's been 2 years. At this point, he's had enough time to determine your worth as a woman & in his life. If he hasn't made a consistent permanent decision yet, he won't. And if he really does love you & hates that you keep leaving him, ask yourself why his self-esteem is so low that he'd continue to stay in a situation full of rejection & half doing it?

9. Leave him alone. Follow your heart. Do what you know is best for you. All this time you're wasting is time you'll never get back. If your self-esteem is so low that you think getting 1/2 of a man is the best that you could ever get, then you have no business being in any relationship until you learn how to love yourself & know how to set healthy boundaries

Being in an unfulfilling friendship slash relationship defeats the entire purpose of wanting to be in a relationship. There is no half in, half out & yet expecting it to work. You're either all in or you're all out. Leave him alone.

Posted by IAmMystified
Everyone says its easy to tell, but they are the most secretive people ever!

True!!! Very frustrating! They hide it sometimes.

But, you can tell from their facial expressions, actions and how much time they spend with you.

Posted by mrfdg
Truecap-

He treats me with respect. I've told him I'm done so many times and he would tell me to remember I ended it and he would make comments that insinuate that he wanted more. He says true does not weary. He said that our relationship has grown and his outlook on me and us have evolved. Sometimes he acts like we are friends and sometimes he acts like a jealous bf. I have a lot of suitors and I tell him all about it. He makes comment like maybe I should consider one of them. So I said ok. I would go out on valentines. He texted me and asked if I was going with the guy. I almost forgot about it. I told him i haven't told the guy yes. I sent him pictures of what I was gonna wear. He said it mattered not to him what I wore. Thursday night he asked me again and I told him i will call him in the few minutes. Valentines Day I chsnged my mind. I didn't really want to go with anybody but him. I didn't tell him I canceled. I went out with my girls instead. I got text from him saying that we both going to have fun with our own date. I was upset coz I didn't know he had plans. He told me if you didn't care why so bothered sho I'm going out. We went back and forth. I told him that I was with my daughters and he texted back to tell me that his date was with with her daughter. He told me to consider the guy. I took his advice. He said it's not his advice. He will not tell me if he loves me. He said i always say I'm done and disappear for days. He doesn't know if I will be here the next day that's why he doesn't open up. I'm getting to the point that I just want to drift away. I love him.

Well, did you ever think maybe he's confused by your actions as well?

You're telling him about other guys, all your suitors, and showing him what you're going to wear on a date. If it looks like a sexy outfit, it means you're interested in this guy and want this guy to think about you sexually.

Trying to make an aquarius man jealous is NOT going to work. He's most likely going to say "have fun" then go off by himself and lick his wounds, though you'd never know about it. I don't think they're the type that's going to compete over a woman. If you're trying to make him jealous to get his attention, all you're going to do is guarantee he'll either drift away or he'll just friend zone you.

Therefore, an aquarius is NOT going to go out on a limb and confess lov

love when he's not sure about you. They want to be sure already in their head that you're on the same page. They are not risk takers in matters of the heart. They fear rejection and hurt and humiliation and aren't goint to put themselves in that position. They aren't willing to wear their hearts on their sleeve.

I could be wrong. I'm basing this on my experience of the three aqua guys I've dated and I have a LOT of aquarius friends. If I'm wrong, please, someone come in and correct me. I won't be offended.

(I had this 2nd part worded better but got cut off and had to rephrase it).

OR he may be telling you to consider the other guy because he knows this isn't going to work out.

Have an honest, heart to heart talk with him. Be prepared to be the only one going out on a limb, but sometimes with this sign, you have to take a risk.

Thank you so much.

If he knows there's no future for us why can't he just say it. He asked me to be patient and understanding. He told me how can we evolve if I force things instead of allowing natural growth. He asked how can we grow if I am too emotional when we have rationale conversation.

I know he's sincere and he has not lied to me yet. My gut is telling me he has feelings for me. It's a long distance relationship -- I dont mind the distance. But I just want to know where we at.

If the reason why he said to consider the other guy why would we be arguing for 2 days about it?

Because if you really loved him, you wouldn't even be interested in this other guy. You wouldn't want to hurt him by telling him about your date, etc. He's questioning this, why aren't you?

WE are just "friends" according to him. But then he refers to "us" and uses "relationship" instead of friendship. Does not tell me where we at and where we going with the relationship. He didnt tell me not to date other people. When I tell him about them he makes comments like "maybe consider him". He gets mad if I follow his suggestion.

No labels. No rules. No expectations. No restrictions. He says just FLOW.

Really?

Aquarius is an action oriented sign, much like us caps. Your actions are not matching your words. He asks if you love him, you say yes. THEN, your actions are showing him that you don't love him, talking about and going out with other guys. Just understand why he's not willing to go out on a limb.

You say he gives you mixed signals, but you're also giving him mixed signals.

I understand the confusing part of this guy. Believe me, I do!

Talk with him. Be honest, direct and tell him exactly what you're thinking. He's not going to do it, so you'll have to.

Let me ask you this. Is HE going out with other people? And if so, does he tell you about them?

Run. It's for the best. Aquas are cool but annoy me with the way they avoid serious questions. I had an Aqua once tell me, he "doesn't know what the future holds" only to tell me the next day his girlfriend was moving in with him, um.. the future holds your gf you're in a relationship with!

*ahem* anyways,you have to run, it's all just a bunch of games and it's going to hurt in the end when he decides that he just wants to pick someone else over you. Or, if you really do love him, realize that actions> words, you're contradicting yourself when you tell him you love him, then talk about dating other guys.

This is gonna get ugly. You are gonna end up being the perpetual Fallback girl for him. When a man wants to be with a woman, he locks it down. There is no ambivalence/ambiguity. Life is too short for all of these games. Before you know it, 10 years will pass and you will be stuck in a moment with him that you can't get out of. Until one day, he walks off with someone else. You can do better.

So I wrote him a long letter yesterday. I let him know how I feel and putting an end to out relationship.

He responded: I care about you a lot but I can't give you answers about the future if I don't know. I never said I wasn't able to love you. I never said I only wanted you as a friend. I just don't know about the future. I can only give is friendship. You deserve the best because you are a good woman. I hope that you don't rush into anything coz it's not good for you or the girls.

Posted by mrfdg
So I wrote him a long letter yesterday. I let him know how I feel and putting an end to out relationship.

He responded: I care about you a lot but I can't give you answers about the future if I don't know. I never said I wasn't able to love you. I never said I only wanted you as a friend. I just don't know about the future. I can only give is friendship. You deserve the best because you are a good woman. I hope that you don't rush into anything coz it's not good for you or the girls.

You have your answer.There is no reading into secret code "I can only give friendship" is pretty clear. Look past the manipulative hemming and hawing and see what's there which is... nothing healthy for you in the long run.