aqualover07
@aqualover07
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 67 · Topics: 4
Emotional Upheaval
Ive read a lot of posts here and im only ask because i like to think they are open to suggestion and may be persuaded with the right words but i havent actually found out what the success rate on reasoning with them and being 100% honest with them. At this point i will probably do what anyone says because i have no idea if i should do anything. I think he is special and I want to be on good terms with him even if we are not together since we will eventually run into each other. I dont want bad blood between us.
Girl let me tell you this, agree or not agree it's up to you. First I'll quote something that strongly resonates with me, "If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best". Simple. Don't care what sign a guy is, if I don't like something, I'll react how I see fit. You shouldnt be afraid to express yourself in fear of running someone away. Who cares? Let him pound the pavement if he cant accept you warts & all. Not worth all the repressed emotion. That stuff can make you sick, you know.
I'm an aquarius girl & I dated another air sign man. Anyway, one day he did something that I found annoying involving another girl. I became irate. He also became upset telling me that I was acting childish. See, that where the buck stops with me...I DO NOT want to be with someone that disrespects my feelings. They may be a nuisance or a joke to him, but they are serious business to me & I wont compromise. He can go! That's exactly what I told the guy. I wont change, didnt expect him to change his ways with other women either. So what choice am I left with if someone cant accept me for me & I definitely cant accept him the way he is? I broke it off.
The moment you feel afraid to be who you are around someone, maybe they really arent the right person for you in my opinion. Think very hard about this. Is it worth it to change yourself just to make HIS life comfortable when you are anything but comfortable with the things he does? Personally, I don't think so.
I'm an aquarius girl & I dated another air sign man. Anyway, one day he did something that I found annoying involving another girl. I became irate. He also became upset telling me that I was acting childish. See, that where the buck stops with me...I DO NOT want to be with someone that disrespects my feelings. They may be a nuisance or a joke to him, but they are serious business to me & I wont compromise. He can go! That's exactly what I told the guy. I wont change, didnt expect him to change his ways with other women either. So what choice am I left with if someone cant accept me for me & I definitely cant accept him the way he is? I broke it off.
The moment you feel afraid to be who you are around someone, maybe they really arent the right person for you in my opinion. Think very hard about this. Is it worth it to change yourself just to make HIS life comfortable when you are anything but comfortable with the things he does? Personally, I don't think so.
Posted by WaterCup
Girl let me tell you this, agree or not agree it's up to you. First I'll quote something that strongly resonates with me, "If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best". Simple. Don't care what sign a guy is, if I don't like something, I'll react how I see fit. You shouldnt be afraid to express yourself in fear of running someone away. Who cares? Let him pound the pavement if he cant accept you warts & all. Not worth all the repressed emotion. That stuff can make you sick, you know.
I'm an aquarius girl & I dated another air sign man. Anyway, one day he did something that I found annoying involving another girl. I became irate. He also became upset telling me that I was acting childish. See, that where the buck stops with me...I DO NOT want to be with someone that disrespects my feelings. They may be a nuisance or a joke to him, but they are serious business to me & I wont compromise. He can go! That's exactly what I told the guy. I wont change, didnt expect him to change his ways with other women either. So what choice am I left with if someone cant accept me for me & I definitely cant accept him the way he is? I broke it off.
The moment you feel afraid to be who you are around someone, maybe they really arent the right person for you in my opinion. Think very hard about this. Is it worth it to change yourself just to make HIS life comfortable when you are anything but comfortable with the things he does? Personally, I don't think so.
Exactly!! It sounds like that was the excuse he needed to do what he wanted to do anyway. You don't throw away 2 years of a relationship because the person you supposedly love blew up at you. Even if he was angry for a minute, I get that, but two months?? Nah...that was the OUT he wanted anyway. Like "Watercup" said, if you can't express yourself to the one you love, then what is the point. No relationship is that perfect. If it's meant to be, it will happen, but if he doesn't even want to talk to you about what happen, then it seems to me that he's no longer interested in the relationship. You've gotten through the first two months, which I know had to be extremely hard, so keep the will power going, and you will be just fine.
He was probably offended that you didn't trust him. And, the way you approach an aquarius with an issue can't be all emotional and accusatory. Had you talked to him calmly about your concerns and given him a chance to respond, it may not have ended as it did. Must proceed rationally and logically when dealing with an aquarius man. His gut reaction was to walk away and avoid confrontration and the emotionally lashing out.
That said, I agree with watercup, regardless how you approached it, he should have stepped back and respected your feelings.
What you didn't tell is whether you gave him a chance to explain. Did he defend himself? Did he get a chance to confirm or disprove your accusations? Did you just lash out emotionally and not listen to what he had to say? If you did, he saw no point in explaining.
Aquas have friends. Lots of friends. It may just have been the interesting conversation he was excited about and not the specific girl in question. Would he get just as excited talking to an interesting elderly person? A child? Another men? Your mom? Your dad? What I'm getting at, did you take a moment to consider that it might be something else he was excited about.
Just a thought to consider.
He has been with you for two years, so there must be something about you that has kept his interest all this time. So, my advice, like the others, is to contact him - via in person, phone, email, letter, text and share your honest thoughts about this. Tell him what you told us. Also, and this is important, tell him how important he is to you and explain the lesson you have learned and how you have grown from this experience.
It's likely it's over and he's moved on. It's also likely he will give you another chance. What have you got to lose? It's a 50/50 chance, so go for it.
Keep in mind, if he does come back, he's going to be on the look out for emotional over reactions and he will move a lot slower than he ever did before. Just take time and have patience.
That said, I agree with watercup, regardless how you approached it, he should have stepped back and respected your feelings.
What you didn't tell is whether you gave him a chance to explain. Did he defend himself? Did he get a chance to confirm or disprove your accusations? Did you just lash out emotionally and not listen to what he had to say? If you did, he saw no point in explaining.
Aquas have friends. Lots of friends. It may just have been the interesting conversation he was excited about and not the specific girl in question. Would he get just as excited talking to an interesting elderly person? A child? Another men? Your mom? Your dad? What I'm getting at, did you take a moment to consider that it might be something else he was excited about.
Just a thought to consider.
He has been with you for two years, so there must be something about you that has kept his interest all this time. So, my advice, like the others, is to contact him - via in person, phone, email, letter, text and share your honest thoughts about this. Tell him what you told us. Also, and this is important, tell him how important he is to you and explain the lesson you have learned and how you have grown from this experience.
It's likely it's over and he's moved on. It's also likely he will give you another chance. What have you got to lose? It's a 50/50 chance, so go for it.
Keep in mind, if he does come back, he's going to be on the look out for emotional over reactions and he will move a lot slower than he ever did before. Just take time and have patience.
Like Libra4life said, too, it is possible that he was looking for a way to get you to break up with him because he wanted out and was too afraid to have that confrontation. Many aqua men are like that.
Just sit and think about how he acted before all this went down. There would be clues he gave that you may or may not have picked up on.
Still, I think it's worth a shot to reach out one last time. That way you'll know and will give you what you need to move on.
Just ponder it for a while before you take any action.
Just sit and think about how he acted before all this went down. There would be clues he gave that you may or may not have picked up on.
Still, I think it's worth a shot to reach out one last time. That way you'll know and will give you what you need to move on.
Just ponder it for a while before you take any action.
I read known him for 2 years, not dating him for two years. Because I've known people for 2 years and not know much about them. So you might want to clarify.
If he's avoiding you 3 weeks ago, he most likely will avoid you now. Out of curiosity what did you say exactly and what was he doing with the girl to warrant such a reaction.
An emotional response from an aqua (well at least from me) is usually truth. However harsh it may seem or even if I regret how it came out later, I usually mean it.
If he's avoiding you 3 weeks ago, he most likely will avoid you now. Out of curiosity what did you say exactly and what was he doing with the girl to warrant such a reaction.
An emotional response from an aqua (well at least from me) is usually truth. However harsh it may seem or even if I regret how it came out later, I usually mean it.
Yeah, nobody walks just because you threw a tantrum. And the fact that this one did says a lot about his feelings towards the OP, he didnt care enough. Men are still men/human at the end of the day & they simply wont give up if you meant something to them. Personally I hate involving astrology when it comes to my relationships. Meaning I wont blame bad behaviour on his chart, I blame him. Treat me right or vacate my space.
I always say, read all the famous love stories about people who have been through a lot together, yet they kept loving through the ups & downs. I'm sure all belong to all the zodiac signs. Even the signs you allegedly have to be cautious with showing emotions to. If those people could handle the ups & downs of love, anybody else could. Unless you dont matter, then showing your emotions is going to be an issue because he doesnt give a crap about you. A guy that truly loves you WILL overlook small things such as having a meltdown, if he doesnt then you shouldnt be overlooking that either. You too are as important as he is & your concerns shouldnt be ignored just because it makes him uncomfortable to deal with you in such a state.
There are billions of men in this world, so to change your whole entire being just to appease ONE seems very ridiculous. NEXT!...until you meet one that thinks you look cute when pissed, jealous or whatever emotion you choose to show.
I strongly believe that the right person will compliment your personality & vice versa. He'll just know what to do & be accepting of all your little annoying traits. That's just my belief though. I dont know if its real or not, but I know I cant be with someone that I cant be 100% myself with. I cant. Either he doesnt do things that irritate me if he doesnt like how I act when irritated, or I'll simply let him go to be with someone that'll compliment his non-confrontational personality & we'll both be happy at the end of the day.
I always say, read all the famous love stories about people who have been through a lot together, yet they kept loving through the ups & downs. I'm sure all belong to all the zodiac signs. Even the signs you allegedly have to be cautious with showing emotions to. If those people could handle the ups & downs of love, anybody else could. Unless you dont matter, then showing your emotions is going to be an issue because he doesnt give a crap about you. A guy that truly loves you WILL overlook small things such as having a meltdown, if he doesnt then you shouldnt be overlooking that either. You too are as important as he is & your concerns shouldnt be ignored just because it makes him uncomfortable to deal with you in such a state.
There are billions of men in this world, so to change your whole entire being just to appease ONE seems very ridiculous. NEXT!...until you meet one that thinks you look cute when pissed, jealous or whatever emotion you choose to show.
I strongly believe that the right person will compliment your personality & vice versa. He'll just know what to do & be accepting of all your little annoying traits. That's just my belief though. I dont know if its real or not, but I know I cant be with someone that I cant be 100% myself with. I cant. Either he doesnt do things that irritate me if he doesnt like how I act when irritated, or I'll simply let him go to be with someone that'll compliment his non-confrontational personality & we'll both be happy at the end of the day.
I agree with this ^^.
Truly impressed with all the comments. Thank you all.
At this time as aquanoz said, i feel he still wants to avoid me. As long as he sees me out he is going to want to avoid me because he feels uncomfortable. I do think he meant what he said and i do feel he wanted an out as well. And on the other hand I know the relationship really truly failed because I was not able to express myself. If i left things the way they are it would feel like i crawled off with my tail in between my legs. That is not my style . And im not trying to pick a fight.
I was always completely myself around him but i did not say much to create waves. I waited too long to speak about things. We had no intentions of getting serious but we enjoyed seeing each other at regular intervals. Whatever the case i made waves and disturbed the calm for less than a good reason. He explained he had no intentions to be with the girl. But i attacked further.
Im going to try to give it another month to see if my mind can stop playing tricks on me. The last time i saw him out at a market outside he was sitting talking to the same girl. He was not close to her but he seemed just as enthused. When he saw me he got up and bolted out of the area. I had already seen him before he saw me. There were probably many reasons for this one of which was he did not want me to make a scene. Of course i had no intention to. But i guess that is what he thinks i am now. Some crazy woman. This really hurts me like nothing else.
He was suppose to leave for the month of July and i just got back from visiting friends for a couple of weeks. But apparently he did not leave town and this really threw me off. I wanted a chance to gather myself but seeing and wanting him makes it impossible and staying home just to avoid him is worse.
At this time as aquanoz said, i feel he still wants to avoid me. As long as he sees me out he is going to want to avoid me because he feels uncomfortable. I do think he meant what he said and i do feel he wanted an out as well. And on the other hand I know the relationship really truly failed because I was not able to express myself. If i left things the way they are it would feel like i crawled off with my tail in between my legs. That is not my style . And im not trying to pick a fight.
I was always completely myself around him but i did not say much to create waves. I waited too long to speak about things. We had no intentions of getting serious but we enjoyed seeing each other at regular intervals. Whatever the case i made waves and disturbed the calm for less than a good reason. He explained he had no intentions to be with the girl. But i attacked further.
Im going to try to give it another month to see if my mind can stop playing tricks on me. The last time i saw him out at a market outside he was sitting talking to the same girl. He was not close to her but he seemed just as enthused. When he saw me he got up and bolted out of the area. I had already seen him before he saw me. There were probably many reasons for this one of which was he did not want me to make a scene. Of course i had no intention to. But i guess that is what he thinks i am now. Some crazy woman. This really hurts me like nothing else.
He was suppose to leave for the month of July and i just got back from visiting friends for a couple of weeks. But apparently he did not leave town and this really threw me off. I wanted a chance to gather myself but seeing and wanting him makes it impossible and staying home just to avoid him is worse.
What i would like to do is to diffuse his animosity towards me. I dont like this tension between us or anyone i know. At the same time I want him back and im still emotional so even if i have a moment of clarity in which to write something. I dont trust myself to stick to it. Meaning, will i do this again? Then i think well not if i just explain that i will be completely honest from now on and not hold back. Can i do that? As Watercup says if you cant than there is no point. I don't think i have the guts to do this. Im afraid of losing him. That may truly be the problem with the relationship and the reason why he is no longer into me. I will have to come to terms with this if..
Aquanoz, you said when you say something emotionally you mean it. Do you think its possible with time that you would come back around or be persuaded otherwise, given enough time and a sensible person to go with it. I mean if aqua men are mentally driven would that be enough to rekindle something? I read that men dont like to second guess themselves but i like Aqua men because they break rules, perhaps their own?
I of course like what Tizani said and if i could corner him in person i would. I agree with all the comments. I guess the question is will waiting it out help? It may help me get over it but if i dont... Will it make any difference in possible reconciliation if given enough time—
Aquanoz, you said when you say something emotionally you mean it. Do you think its possible with time that you would come back around or be persuaded otherwise, given enough time and a sensible person to go with it. I mean if aqua men are mentally driven would that be enough to rekindle something? I read that men dont like to second guess themselves but i like Aqua men because they break rules, perhaps their own?
I of course like what Tizani said and if i could corner him in person i would. I agree with all the comments. I guess the question is will waiting it out help? It may help me get over it but if i dont... Will it make any difference in possible reconciliation if given enough time—
What i would like to do is to diffuse his animosity towards me. I dont like this tension between us or anyone i know. At the same time I want him back and im still emotional so even if i have a moment of clarity in which to write something. I dont trust myself to stick to it. Meaning, will i do this again? Then i think well not if i just explain that i will be completely honest from now on and not hold back. Can i do that? As Watercup says if you cant than there is no point. I don't think i have the guts to do this. Im afraid of losing him. That may truly be the problem with the relationship and the reason why he is no longer into me. I will have to come to terms with this if..
Aquanoz, you said when you say something emotionally you mean it. Do you think its possible with time that you would come back around or be persuaded otherwise, given enough time and a sensible person to go with it. I mean if aqua men are mentally driven would that be enough to rekindle something? I read that men dont like to second guess themselves but i like Aqua men because they break rules, perhaps their own?
I of course like what Tizani said and if i could corner him in person i would. I agree with all the comments. I guess the question is will waiting it out help? It may help me get over it but if i dont... Will it make any difference in possible reconciliation if given enough time—
Aquanoz, you said when you say something emotionally you mean it. Do you think its possible with time that you would come back around or be persuaded otherwise, given enough time and a sensible person to go with it. I mean if aqua men are mentally driven would that be enough to rekindle something? I read that men dont like to second guess themselves but i like Aqua men because they break rules, perhaps their own?
I of course like what Tizani said and if i could corner him in person i would. I agree with all the comments. I guess the question is will waiting it out help? It may help me get over it but if i dont... Will it make any difference in possible reconciliation if given enough time—
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
Posted by WolfMoon
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
OMG very true about the double standards.
And that is not all! Aquarians get away with sooo much, Im stubborn too though and i will cross you and do my best to persuade you to stick around, cuz your worth it. Grabbing the pinky for the arm just about covers it. lol. NOW , i have a picture to go with this! Thanks Wolfmoom.
I found this piece in Aquarians very entertaining. You will too.
http://siderealist.com/index_aquarius.html
I found this piece in Aquarians very entertaining. You will too.
http://siderealist.com/index_aquarius.html
Posted by WolfMoon
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
Does setting solid boundaries early on prevent this from happening? Would it lessen the double standard perhaps?
Posted by truecapPosted by WolfMoon
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
Does setting solid boundaries early on prevent this from happening? Would it lessen the double standard perhaps?click to expand
I think it boils down to this:
Do I really like you enough to tweak myself a little bit to atleast meet you 33 % of the way...You will have your answer if I still behave like a complete bitch. There are so many excuses used by all of us to justify someone's sketchy behavior but I know that, atleast for me, when we ask too many questions things are not the way they should be.
So to answer your question: if I like you, you can set all kinds of boundaries and I will remain within them until the day that no longer seems like the healthy way of going about things.
Just don't take those set boundaries for granted and become all emotional and clingy on me 😉 You stay in your side of paddock and let me graze on my side..
Its just plain painful to love an Aquarian.
"Aquarians distance and elevate themselves in order to defeat the naysayers. If they meet a brick wall, they merely float over it. Is it any wonder that Aquarians solve many of their relationship problems the same way?"
"Aquarians distance and elevate themselves in order to defeat the naysayers. If they meet a brick wall, they merely float over it. Is it any wonder that Aquarians solve many of their relationship problems the same way?"
Posted by aqualover07
Its just plain painful to love an Aquarian.
"Aquarians distance and elevate themselves in order to defeat the naysayers. If they meet a brick wall, they merely float over it. Is it any wonder that Aquarians solve many of their relationship problems the same way?"
If you think about that water chalet we hold....when it gets filled to the brim with whatever you put in there it will float over...we usually have enough in our heads with humans on the planet and animals and all kinds of theories and philosophies and butterflies and astrological mysteries and then the fact that my socks NEVER match the rest of my clothing.....and then you add drama to this? Soemthing has gotta give and it won't be the socks. Or the butterflies. Or the homeless in Croatia. Or the people with Ebola in Africa. It'll be you that goes. Why? Because you made us second guess our deeply ingrained desire to unite.
BUT, if you are willing to SHARE our enthusiasm for the world as a whole, and all our crazy ass ideas WITHOUT becoming too demanding, we will love you!
Posted by WolfMoonPosted by truecapPosted by WolfMoon
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
Does setting solid boundaries early on prevent this from happening? Would it lessen the double standard perhaps?
I think it boils down to this:
Do I really like you enough to tweak myself a little bit to atleast meet you 33 % of the way...You will have your answer if I still behave like a complete bitch. There are so many excuses used by all of us to justify someone's sketchy behavior but I know that, atleast for me, when we ask too many questions things are not the way they should be.
So to answer your question: if I like you, you can set all kinds of boundaries and I will remain within them until the day that no longer seems like the healthy way of going about things.
Just don't take those set boundaries for granted and become all emotional and clingy on me 😉 You stay in your side of paddock and let me graze on my side..click to expand
Fair enough. 🙂
Posted by truecapPosted by WolfMoon
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
Does setting solid boundaries early on prevent this from happening? Would it lessen the double standard perhaps?click to expand
Yeah but boundaries are like rules & rules can be broken depending on your own behaviour towards the aqua. If we notice something on your part that goes against whatever set of rules that have been put then forget it, you've opened the flood gates. Basically, practise what you preach & we'll also toe the line.
We can be score keepers, at least I am.
Don't make ridiculous demands you're uncapable of doing yourself. 1st show me how to bend & I'll do it on my own next time you want me to. 50/50 or else I'll make you do 80. Meaning you'll be the one doing all the changing just to accomodate me, at that time I wont be having any of it. I'll be done. Be fair & we'll also do the same for you.
One last thing, IDK about other aquas but once the rules, boundaries or whatever have been broken, IDK how to turn back & reestablish order. I run free & be chaotic because I am in my element anyway when things are out of order with no restrictions.
Posted by WaterCupPosted by truecapPosted by WolfMoon
Ouch :-/ He grabbed the pinky you handed him and ran off with the entire arm, never to come back, I think. He will forgive you but he won't forget your tantrum and THAT is what will keep him from NOT dating you again. There's one thing with certain Aquas and that is: what flies with him/her will NEVER fly for you meaning that some of us feel entitled to certain behaviors but that is something our partner never shall dabble in!
Does setting solid boundaries early on prevent this from happening? Would it lessen the double standard perhaps?
Yeah but boundaries are like rules & rules can be broken depending on your own behaviour towards the aqua. If we notice something on your part that goes against whatever set of rules that have been put then forget it, you've opened the flood gates. Basically, practise what you preach & we'll also toe the line.
We can be score keepers, at least I am.
Don't make ridiculous demands you're uncapable of doing yourself. 1st show me how to bend & I'll do it on my own next time you want me to. 50/50 or else I'll make you do 80. Meaning you'll be the one doing all the changing just to accomodate me, at that time I wont be having any of it. I'll be done. Be fair & we'll also do the same for you.
One last thing, IDK about other aquas but once the rules, boundaries or whatever have been broken, IDK how to turn back & reestablish order. I run free & be chaotic because I am in my element anyway when things are out of order with no restrictions.click to expand
I am the same way! if rules and restrictions are broken I cannot go back from that. My mind is locked and key tucked away. It'll be a tsunami followed by Hurricane WolfMoon to a party near you. And then we are friends 🙂 But it can never go back to being romantic.
Aquarians have a license to take your heart for a ride because its all in the name of unification. Fine. I really tried to go with him there, to meet him there. I am flexible but very true to myself. He is true to himself. He wont budge. I did budge. He wins, i learn, he learns.
Whats the best thing to do for my sake. Again, i never had a chance to verbalize much. Would it do any good? Since im only liked about 25% next to his socks is it even worth it?
Whats the best thing to do for my sake. Again, i never had a chance to verbalize much. Would it do any good? Since im only liked about 25% next to his socks is it even worth it?
Posted by feby
I have let things go when rules were broken and boundaries crossed. I'm pretty good at getting to the heart of the matter. For me, taking my own responsibility has given me a lot of clarity when it's cloudy. I'm messy at times but I do try lol.
Can anyone give an example of rules or boundaries that were crossed or broken? I need some clarity here.
I mean what could be so bad that you would lose romantic interest in that person because they could not live up to their own demands.
Im just curious. You want to avoid pain and if someone puts you through pain you want to make sure they know what it feels like to be hurt. Isnt that the common denominator? It all sounds so abstract the way its being talked about.
Posted by aqualover07Posted by feby
I have let things go when rules were broken and boundaries crossed. I'm pretty good at getting to the heart of the matter. For me, taking my own responsibility has given me a lot of clarity when it's cloudy. I'm messy at times but I do try lol.
Can anyone give an example of rules or boundaries that were crossed or broken? I need some clarity here.click to expand
It varies from situation to situation but I'll give you an example. First, I believe aquas are creatures of habit.
Ok so me & this guy used to talk on the phone daily. He'd call or I'd call. Answering or returning a call became a rule/habit
It does show you care more than you dont. Not apparent to said dude. Thank you for sharing WC. That makes sense being a fixed sign. I can relate to the integrity.
Posted by aqualover07
Aquarians have a license to take your heart for a ride because its all in the name of unification. Fine. I really tried to go with him there, to meet him there. I am flexible but very true to myself. He is true to himself. He wont budge. I did budge. He wins, i learn, he learns.
Whats the best thing to do for my sake. Again, i never had a chance to verbalize much. Would it do any good? Since im only liked about 25% next to his socks is it even worth it?
It's not that we like you less than our socks, it's just that once we take a chance on you we expect you to just......tag along. We should be united. You are a part of me and my life and thus you are me. I am you.
Wow!! It sounds SO selfish writing that but it's honestly how I think! If you are with me, we can then tackle the rest of all universal and more important problems but if you deviate from the persona that I saw when I decided to let you in to my "sphere", you have then become another problem and you are not longer a visionary, like me, and therefore not with me.
Like WC said: we not likey change much. We go along with any ESTABLISHED patterns. If that is revoked, WE will change to benefit US and left crying is almost always the other person.
Posted by WolfMoonPosted by aqualover07
Aquarians have a license to take your heart for a ride because its all in the name of unification. Fine. I really tried to go with him there, to meet him there. I am flexible but very true to myself. He is true to himself. He wont budge. I did budge. He wins, i learn, he learns.
Whats the best thing to do for my sake. Again, i never had a chance to verbalize much. Would it do any good? Since im only liked about 25% next to his socks is it even worth it?
It's not that we like you less than our socks, it's just that once we take a chance on you we expect you to just......tag along. We should be united. You are a part of me and my life and thus you are me. I am you.
Wow!! It sounds SO selfish writing that but it's honestly how I think! If you are with me, we can then tackle the rest of all universal and more important problems but if you deviate from the persona that I saw when I decided to let you in to my "sphere", you have then become another problem and you are not longer a visionary, like me, and therefore not with me.
Like WC said: we not likey change much. We go along with any ESTABLISHED patterns. If that is revoked, WE will change to benefit US and left crying is almost always the other person.click to expand
How about an example from you WolfMoon. A person that deviated from the pattern in your life that you no longer talk to. Examples are helpful in this case. I have had falling out with many folks, some Aquarius, and its repairable if one of tries, but it sounds like you leave people behind. Is it because they dont mean that much to you, maybe you werent so close?
The older i get though the more likely I move on quickly if i am dissed in any way. Its important it does not happen again. But if i have gotten to know them a little i give them a little leeway. Can you give a good example of persona deviation with someone you have developed ties with or gotten close to?
Thanks so much for your input!
Posted by WaterCup
Girl let me tell you this, agree or not agree it's up to you. First I'll quote something that strongly resonates with me, "If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best". Simple. Don't care what sign a guy is, if I don't like something, I'll react how I see fit. You shouldnt be afraid to express yourself in fear of running someone away. Who cares? Let him pound the pavement if he cant accept you warts & all. Not worth all the repressed emotion. That stuff can make you sick, you know.
I'm an aquarius girl & I dated another air sign man. Anyway, one day he did something that I found annoying involving another girl. I became irate. He also became upset telling me that I was acting childish. See, that where the buck stops with me...I DO NOT want to be with someone that disrespects my feelings. They may be a nuisance or a joke to him, but they are serious business to me & I wont compromise. He can go! That's exactly what I told the guy. I wont change, didnt expect him to change his ways with other women either. So what choice am I left with if someone cant accept me for me & I definitely cant accept him the way he is? I broke it off.
The moment you feel afraid to be who you are around someone, maybe they really arent the right person for you in my opinion. Think very hard about this. Is it worth it to change yourself just to make HIS life comfortable when you are anything but comfortable with the things he does? Personally, I don't think so.
Perfectly put
Posted by aqualover07
Aquarians have a license to take your heart for a ride because its all in the name of unification.
That's where you're wrong.
No one is allowed to "take your heart for a ride" unless you give them permission to do so. Thus, saying aquas "have a license" to do so is utter BS. You make it sound like that is their right and it's not. No one has the ability to do that unless you allow it.
You are in control of your own feelings and your own heart. You don't give it away until the other person deserves to have it and by that I mean they have to prove they are worthy of it. To prove this, they must display the actions and the actions must match the words.
What you said is like saying just because they are aqua, they have a right to take your heart for a ride and you can do nothing about it.
(Looks like my cap moon responded to this one. lol! )
Posted by size zero superheroPosted by truecapPosted by aqualover07
Aquarians have a license to take your heart for a ride because its all in the name of unification.
That's where you're wrong.
No one is allowed to "take your heart for a ride" unless you give them permission to do so. Thus, saying aquas "have a license" to do so is utter BS. You make it sound like that is their right and it's not. No one has the ability to do that unless you allow it.
What you said is like saying just because they are aqua, they have a right to take your heart for a ride and you can do nothing about it.
+1.
Except that I'd argue it is possible to mislead someone into believing the other party IS worthy of priority status & go to great lengths selling them "the dream"; only show their true flaky colors after the $ #1t(briefly)hits the fan or when the party ends & things begin to backslide.
I'm not suggesting Aquarians are characteristically fairweather-friends or emotional manipulators--given this matter primarily boils down to having ulterior motives & possibly a lack of conscience, as opposed to sun sign/astrological configuration.click to expand
I see that point, too and I know that happens. Quite often. But with any sign, any man, any woman.
I just didn't want to clutter up what I was trying to say.
Good stuff peeps. Really.
I WAS partially led on. Aquas get mad when i touch on something they dont like to recognize. It makes it very difficult for me to point out things i suppose, to speak. While its true other signs have to have patience with them there comes a time when we have to put our foot down. I followed his rules mostly and something in me broke and the lashing came. I wasnt in a good place to calmly address our issues because I had blocked myself in. It was never him or our relationship i wanted to hurt. My mistake was not speaking up, I was mad at myself.
You really cant hold back with Aqua. They dont want you to. I held back too long i did not state my case with tact. After you have shown them you can roll with them its time to make it work for you.
However convincing and logical an Aqua is, always speak your mind no matter the cost. If they dont come around to the truth and the heart of the matter then no more time needs to be spent on them.
I agree with all the women. I feel empowered because all your words are TRUE!
I WAS partially led on. Aquas get mad when i touch on something they dont like to recognize. It makes it very difficult for me to point out things i suppose, to speak. While its true other signs have to have patience with them there comes a time when we have to put our foot down. I followed his rules mostly and something in me broke and the lashing came. I wasnt in a good place to calmly address our issues because I had blocked myself in. It was never him or our relationship i wanted to hurt. My mistake was not speaking up, I was mad at myself.
You really cant hold back with Aqua. They dont want you to. I held back too long i did not state my case with tact. After you have shown them you can roll with them its time to make it work for you.
However convincing and logical an Aqua is, always speak your mind no matter the cost. If they dont come around to the truth and the heart of the matter then no more time needs to be spent on them.
I agree with all the women. I feel empowered because all your words are TRUE!
Posted by aqualover07
Aquanoz, you said when you say something emotionally you mean it. Do you think its possible with time that you would come back around or be persuaded otherwise, given enough time and a sensible person to go with it. I mean if aqua men are mentally driven would that be enough to rekindle something? I read that men dont like to second guess themselves but i like Aqua men because they break rules, perhaps their own?
I will apologise but no, a decision is usually final.
I've also noticed you've not given any clarity as to your situation. For some that's rather articulate you've only spoken about your side of the story.
And quite vaguely I might add.
Thanks men. yea, only time can decide and yep it would be really weird if one of these days i did not hear from him again. I never can understand the people who say He left/ disappeared with no explanation. There is always a reason and if there isnt there is no reason to question it. They left because they arent interested at that time. Its actually a better predicament than mine. Its not messy.
But i guess its possible ill never hear from him again. I dont want to be with someone who thinks of me in a certain way especially when that is not representative of who i really am. yea. he wanted out. he wanted to be free of guilt and second guesses. I hope ive done a months worth of work here. Getting out of your system faster (tricking my brain). I have to go back to my Zen talks.
But i guess its possible ill never hear from him again. I dont want to be with someone who thinks of me in a certain way especially when that is not representative of who i really am. yea. he wanted out. he wanted to be free of guilt and second guesses. I hope ive done a months worth of work here. Getting out of your system faster (tricking my brain). I have to go back to my Zen talks.
Posted by aqualover07
Good stuff peeps. Really.
I WAS partially led on. Aquas get mad when i touch on something they dont like to recognize. It makes it very difficult for me to point out things i suppose, to speak. While its true other signs have to have patience with them there comes a time when we have to put our foot down. I followed his rules mostly and something in me broke and the lashing came. I wasnt in a good place to calmly address our issues because I had blocked myself in. It was never him or our relationship i wanted to hurt. My mistake was not speaking up, I was mad at myself.
You really cant hold back with Aqua. They dont want you to. I held back too long i did not state my case with tact. After you have shown them you can roll with them its time to make it work for you.
However convincing and logical an Aqua is, always speak your mind no matter the cost. If they dont come around to the truth and the heart of the matter then no more time needs to be spent on them.
I agree with all the women. I feel empowered because all your words are TRUE!
See, that's it right there. I think this is where a lot of women mess up.
Some women are so busy following HIS rules, they lose themselves. They bend who you they are to match him. When you lose yourself and are no longer true to yourself, that's when an aqua will lose interest. Aquas want you to be true to who you are. They can see when you're putting on a mask and it changes your personality from someone they liked to someone they don't know anymore.
If anything aquas are authentic and genuine and they respond to that trait in other people.
So, a relationship with an aqua isn't all about his rules, it's your rules, too. It's a good thing to go by his rules, but you have to enforce your rules as well. Otherwise, it's one sided and not a unified relationship - one catalyst as to why he might lose interest and move on.
Just my take on it.
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