ending this vicious circle...

Sometimes, I knew he tried to get a reaction from me, especially jealousy because he??d told me this girl is so hot and I??d agree with him too and even comment on her feature, he laughed and shook his head , said —I can't believe you just said that??.But I was being objective.To him though, he has to play with my self-esteem so he can have him back.But I just laughed along at every thing because I just dont take him and us seriously any more.It's like I'm not making any effort for the relationhsip.And this even made him more insecure, made him increasing his games.But what can I do? It's a vicious circle.I wish I could love and trust him like in the beginning??_Any advice for me?

Posted by exam
Sometimes, I knew he tried to get a reaction from me, especially jealousy because he??d told me this girl is so hot and I??d agree with him too and even comment on her feature, he laughed and shook his head , said —I can't believe you just said that??.But I was being objective.To him though, he has to play with my self-esteem so he can have him back.But I just laughed along at every thing because I just dont take him and us seriously any more.It's like I'm not making any effort for the relationhsip.And this even made him more insecure, made him increasing his games. But what can I do? It's a vicious circle.I wish I could love and trust him like in the beginning??_Any advice for me?

Hey exam,

I'm kind of in the same situation, and I think it's just immaturity...I don't know how old you are or how old he is, but...the thing I do to let him know that it's NOT O.K. is politely stop the conversation and show him you're uninterested. If it means leaving the bar/restaurant or getting off the phone if he doesn't stop or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then do so.


many men do this, and you're right, he's waiting for a dramatic, jealous response from you.

I would keep acting uninterested, objective, but I would also stop responding to him when he makes these comments as a way to show him you'd like them to stop.

he's testing your values and your boundaries, (probably not consciously) and feeding his ego in this situation isn't helpful to getting him to stop, because you're telling him he could talk about girls all night to him and you'd be like one of the "guys", which is not what you want...


I know aquas love girls who aren't jealous-zealots, but I think you can show him you're NOT jealous AND you're NOT going to take his bull by being silent, pulling back, stopping the conversation there, and showing him he's being immature. That mature people don't need to provoke in order to get love and affection.

im an aqua and iv experienced a guy saying innapropriate comments about other girls and having feelings for them
i had to end it, it may have took me a while to do it, but i never trusted him for comments he made.
aquarians need space n trust, it seems to me that he wants a reaction, the guy i with pissed on his chips as once we got more serious and i started asking about these other girls he said he liked n loved n thinks there nice. i did his head in, wanting to know wether hed seen them or spoken to them so in the long haul ur trust is going to be a little dented.

Well, yeah.I told him that he's just insecure and immature.

I dated a taurus guy who did that when we were first dating until I finally just told him something like 'stop talking about other women to me like i'm one of the guys, it's unattractive and gives off the impression that you wanna be with them and not me and since you ARE with me, it just comes off disrespectful' ...something to that effect. then i proposed the flip scenario, 'what if i did that to you?' 'how would it make you feel' 'understand where i'm coming from?' He never did it again.

well, I don't mind he talked about how attractive the women are or how attracted he is to them because I like honesty.I just think it's disrespectful to let your girlfriend suffering in the rain or waiting for you because you met the girls you used to fancy and still, then went on and on how she made you feel and how you hate that she chose the other guy.What's with that? Very unattractive.I already told him that I wanted to leave him if he wanted to be with the other women, then he would cry and say dont leave him, that he loves only me.Well, apparently, he didn't show it well.I noticed it was all the talk mostly just to get me , to see my reaction but again, IT'S INSECURE.

yea but you cant really give a guy an inch on things that are sincerely bothering you... because he'll drag that inch out. honesty is fine. personally, i dont mind comments like 'she's got a great bod' or comments that just are what they are, it's all good, but it should have more of an observational tone rather than an emotional one.

this guy says he wants you, loves you and only you... then he needs to do a better job showing that and not leave u hangin in the rain for some other chic/ex flame or even talk about them with hints of lingering feelings. oooooooh, ya, for me thats grounds for some distance and a time-out to think things out.

"I noticed it was all the talk mostly just to get me , to see my reaction but again, IT'S INSECURE."

*shudders* those emotional games... they make my blood boil.