Gemini Needs Help With Her Aqua PWEASE!!!

ok so ive been talking to this aqua for about a year. and its been up and down, but we really love each other. *sighs* ok a week ago, something really fucked up happened. basically we had broken up and on the verge to get back together. we were talking and my head was somewhere else, just bc alot of stuff had been going on, and like me, i was trying to think on it all at once, and he took it as me not wanting to talk to him. which wasnt true, i just couldnt really think right then. but anyway, um, he told a friend of ours we both look to as a little sister that he just wanted to be friends with me. she told me and i said fine. i started talking to other guys and said that one was cute, a couple of minutes later he puts up a post that he wants to get laid, i ignored it, even though it kinda hurt, i went on, and kept talking to the guy i had met, and then my sister asked about the guy and i was telling her and then the aqua post another post with this blonde chick up saying how hot she was, my "sister" jumped on his case saying he needed to stop but i just let it go bc i knew what he was doing. so then me and my sis was talking about valentines day and how she was going to be lonely bc her and her gf are long distance,and i told her its ok, and told her about the vday i spent with my ex gemini. and like ten minutes later, i get a message from my aqua saying "you were such a waste of time in my life" and i mean it shocked me and i didnt know what to say so i just said "ok........" and then he logged off. we havent talked since then. later that night however one of his friends tried to cuss me out saying i was a whore, which im not, ive been trying to get the aqua back, but hes scared that hed hurt me more than make things better, so hes been giving up the chance. i just need to know is it time to let this one go, or what, bc im confused. i do love this boy, i want to marry him, but god, im confused. like if he wanted to be friends, then why does he care who i call cute? its none of his business, and im just confused. lovely aquas please help

HA! I wish i could help you with your situation....I am a taurus/gemini cusp (more gemini) Been going through the samething with an aqua.......He's NOTHING like my first one....I distanced myself from him for a while....Also this may sound silly but just be yourself. I truly held nothing back if i was mad ...(Don't mean go nutso) Just didn't play the "I don't care game" Let him know if something bothered me..He did the same to me also so....They have a hard time expressing the way they feel (fear of rejection) plus just being men ....lol Problem is ....so do we.....

Look at his ACTIONS...Forget his words...Also i know you may have a fear or comming right out and asking but the confusion your in now is no good...it will only get worse. I would call him out on his game or "his confusion" the same way you want him to man up ...you have to also woman up...ya know? Then again i have no idea...lol

You both are playing mind games at this point. Had no one ever told you that this Aqua was dating/seeing other women, you would've never found it necessary to drool/brag about some other guy online or anywhere, knowing he could see it. And the same goes for him. Just b/c 1 person may not want the relationship anymore doesn't mean that the person who does still want it, will/should automatically start acting like they're not phased & start dating others. Love/respect for someone doesn't & shouldn't turn on/off like a light switch all b/c of he-said-she said

This may seem like a stretch, but I find it mighty conveinant that every time you have a talk with the mutual friend (whose like a sister to both of you) that afterwards, he does something drastic. In other words, if she'll come back & tell you everything he's saying/doing, don't be surprised if she's doing the same behind your back. Doesn't mean that she has ill intentions, but still.

This situation will continue to get out of hand if you both keep allowing he-said-she-said (even if from reliable sources) to set the pace for where things go b/w you 2. If you have questions, ask him personally & vice versa.

You need to let this guy go; atleast for right now. Ok ok I get that he might've mistaken you needing space for you not wanting him anymore but honey, any man who will purposely go out of their way to make themselves appear to be NOT into you by way of drooling over other women just so you can see it & feel jealous/hurt, is not a man that you should be entertaining much longer. And I'd tell him the same.

If you guys love eachother and/or aren't quite ready to move on yet, just be honest about that to eachother & quit with all the mind games. Sounds like your issues were just the result of miscommunication. And if you know that you flirting with other men in front of him will send him the wrong message than don't do it. But if you continue doing it, you shouldn't be surprised when he continues to assume that you don't want him anymore. If that's NOT the message you want to send to him, stop doing whatever it is that's sending him those signals. I'd say the same to him too.

If you guys don't start with the mind games, you're going to end up unnecessarily hating/resenting eachother more than you would've had you 2 just talked everything out & kept everybody out of your business

well hes not dating anyone, and ive picked up on the mind games thing, and i hate it. its been going on for the longest. i know its been going on and i play along bc i dont want him to see it gets to me, so i do it back and watch it get to him, but im too freaking far in with him to keep playing them bc like you guys said itll make me loose him. and im just tired of it. ill handle it, im just sick of him being able to talk to other girls and when i do it, he gets mad. how is it fair?

GCL, first thing's first. Get the guy back by quitting the game because like you said "you are too freakin far in with him to keep playing them". It would suck to see you lose the guy over stupidity. Then, once you get the guy back, hopefully you wouldn't have tolerate the double standard. Good luck w/ your situation. Let's see what happens. I wanna see the success rate of this website. lol

lol, thanks aqua09. thats why i love this site. well only the aqua and gem forums anyway, lol, but yeah i dont want to play this game anymore. noones winning and im getting hurt. and i dont know how hes affected by it, but im guessing hes hurt too. its time to stop. thanks everyone

Wish I had the attention span to read your entire first post, GCL, but I did want to say I love your avatar. 😄

lol, thanks shadow

Posted by geminicaplover
i dont want to play this game anymore. noones winning and im getting hurt. and i dont know how hes affected by it, but im guessing hes hurt too. its time to stop. thanks everyone

Well yeah, 1st everything starts with YOU. What you've been doing has NOT been working so far so you have to sometimes stop for a minute & acknowledge that your current strategies aren't working, that way you can think of/engage in NEW strategies.

Just b/c he plays mind games doesn't mean that you have to entertain them OR play them with him. When you do that, you lose your own argument. If this guy's M-O is to make you jealous & hurt you, then leave him alone. You can't be that "in deep" with someone if the only thing resulting from your relationship is jealousy, pain, confusion and/or turmoil. I'm absolutely NOT advising you to kiss his ass & suck up to him b/c he too, needs to realize that if he truly wants you, he's gotta stop with the games too. Neither 1 of you should be kissing ass until BOTH of you learn how to effectively communicate.

Honey, he knows that you're "sweating" the minute you stoop to his level & start drooling over other guys in front of him. He's not dumb. He knows you're only doing so as payback. So you doing this falsely makes you assume that he's not seeing you sweat when yet in reality, your responses to his games are EXACTLY that of someone seeing you sweat. You weren't doing/saying those things to those guys when things were good, so don't think he's dumb & doesn't realize the only reason you're doing so now.

If you want him to know that his games don't phase you, stop playing them with him.

Go to him & tell him how you feel. Don't expect for others (no matter how "mutual" they are) to speak for you and/or be able to effectively communicate your own feelings for you. It sounds best coming from the original source. And hey, if after you do so, he still doesn't understand & continues to play these games, then let him go. But 1 thing's for sure, the back & forth games aren't working. And I'd tell him this too if I could, but if you both know deep down that you can't afford to lose eachother, then you BOTH have to make a committment to communicate effectively. It can't just be 1 person doing all the work, while the other is still playing games. You both have to put the games down, start telling eachother how you reall feel (while taking the chances & just "hoping" that the other will understand) & stop doing things that neither of you really want to do.

Drooling over other guys is just showing him that you're good at communicating with OTHER men, not him. And vice versa. Welp, the goal is for both of you to maintain effective communication with eachother! So in order for that to start working, you guys have got to stop putting all this unnecessary energy/chatting with others who really don't matter.

i know and i plan on making it right. we both love each other, and when we are being honest, we are ok. i dont want to play this game anymore, and i plan on making it stop