Help! Leo F dating Aquarius M need advice!!

Hello!

I am new to the board and am hoping to get some help understanding the guy I am dating. Apologies for the long post. I am a Leo female dating an Aquarius male. We are both about the same age, him 29, me 28( I am younger by a few months). I like him but am having a hard time understanding his behavior sometimes.

We met through grad school but didn't start dating until a few months after graduation last year (he made the first move). We dated for a couple months last year, then I broke it off in Dec because I was not used to his distant behavior of never calling and spending more time with his friends than me. He suggested we just take a break and see each other in Jan after the holidays, which was when we started up again.

Since then we have seen each other 1-2 times a week, but I feel that it is still me trying harder to see him. I don't believe I am clingy, but a phone call or even returning one promptly would be nice. It would also be nice if we saw each other more 😢 Aside from that when we are together we connect extremely well in how we think and what we want out of life.

Yesterday he came over and while we were talking he asked me if I felt I can talk to him about anything. I told him yes except for when it comes to our relationship and that I didn't know how he felt about me or where it was going. He was quiet and then asked me if that was it. I said yes, then he just laughed and said he liked my expressions. He then got up and start acting really silly but did not respond to me. He spent the night and I didn't push him any more.

My question is how should I interpret what happened yesterday? He refers himself as my boyfriend but I've never met his friends. Most of our time is spent talking and we don't go out together much. What should I do about his lack of calling and is there any way to suggest that we spend more time together without smothering him? Should I just wait for him to contact me first and just leave him alone from now on? Or is this relationship just not working and we should just be friends?

I appreciate all comments and suggestions. Again sorry for the long post =)

Hi girls,

Thanks so much for your input. I actually had a mini relationship epiphany last night as I was being sappy and watching Grey's Anatomy and the last episode of Sex in the City (DVR rocks). To quote Carrie, "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." THAT is what I want and if I can't have it with someone perhaps it is time to move on.

However, my additional question is, I read all these things about Aquarius behavior and how is it possible to distinguish between personality versus their feelings towards you?

Unusualcancer,

Thanks for your comments. I need to clarify a bit what I mean. I know I can't base my life on a 60 minute fictional story on TV =) My idea of real love is that you will love that person despite all the warts and harshness of reality. I am not looking for a certain behavior from men or have expectations of how they should treat me. I believe that in a relationship both parties should be responsible for making each other happy or communicating how to do so. What I mean from the silly quote is that I want to strive to find someone that I can have such intense emotions for and have that returned. Of course in order to get there it will take work from both people but I believe that it is possible. What I am still unsure of is how long it takes to recognize whether it would be possible down the road to achieve such intense feelings before you are at that point? Still need to figure that out...

"the aqua male is not always going to answer you right there and then....but they always listen. always."

-very well said, leokitten!!! that definitely describes how they are...

"To quote Carrie, "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." THAT is what I want and if I can't have it with someone perhaps it is time to move on."


-leo...that is soooo crazy that you say that b/c i watched that same episode one night last week, and at the time i was very emotional about my situation with my aqua bf, and i started crying at that part in the show b/c i felt exactly what she felt...i knew exactly where she was coming from when she said that. yeah, the writing on that show is pretty incredible and very realistic!!!

...and yes, i also know that real life is not like what we see on tv...but i could feel where she was coming from in that part of the episode. she felt like she was giving more than she was getting from the relationship...referring to the part that previously took place when they go to his art show rather than her book signing party...

"if you feel like you are doing all the work....and do not want to do all the work,....stop doing the work. it will kill you a bit...."

-leokitten...this is also very true!!! if you feel that he is distancing too much, than you should also start distancing yourself and start doing more for you. focus on your own life and enjoy it...
yes, i agree... that you have to stop doing all the work if you feel that you are putting in too much and not getting enough

haha...moonchild8 i am glad to hear that i was not the only sap watching that episode. i was exactly the same way and got super emotional because that was exactly what i am looking for. love that is tangible. i am all about emotions but i think that i can only open myself up to a certain point to love only if i know that the other person is willing to do the same. i don't think it is possible to throw myself into a relationship without knowing whether the other person can do the same.

oh and on a additional note, the last straw for me was this past wkend, tried to talk to him about what was going on with us etc and he basically told me he was not ready for anything serious and just wants to spend time and have fun. when i tried to talk a bit more he said he didn't really feel that there was too much more that needs to be discussed. i've decided to just not deal with this any more. i even deleted his # from my phone to prevent me from calling =) hope you gals are proud!

I don't think it is a bad thing of him to do. He's just not there and I can't fault him for feeling that way. I however have not told him we are done because I figure I'll just pull a pseudo-aqua move and just leave things be. No need to have another unpleasant conversation if it is fairly obvious what this means =)

It has been extremely liberating to decide this although I know I am still torn. If I lean of some of you for support to prevent me from running back I hope you don't mind! I am still weak in that aspect so I really hope to stay true to my decision!