I'm convinced that aqua men are spineless a**holes

I know not at all of them are like this but from the message board it seems like quite a bit are. I'll also be honest and say I'm just being bitter right now haha. I guess I just need to vent.

I was seeing this aqua. Everything was great. Insane chemistry. He even told me he hasn't felt this way about someone in a long time. I know we fell for each other. I kind of goofed it up with me and my leo roar. I apologized a week later, he said everything was fine, but then I goofed up again and just retreated for almost a week and never said anything to him. This is where things really started to go downhill. We both just backed off, which unfortunately let A LOT of time go by with minimal contact, and as the saying goes passivity breeds distance. Meanwhile I ran into his roommate and he pretty much said he was just in a weird space and stopped working at the place he had been at for years and wasn't going out. After about a month or so he wanted to see me but I accidentally blew him off (I didn't read the text correctly and didn't know he was asking to get together). Two weeks go by and I reach out to him to get coffee and said "miss you" but he completely ignored me but days later he reaches out to me . He was on a trip with his buddy so I know it wasn't a booty call. He was funny and flirty like old times. I figured if he wasn't interested he would've just let it die by continuing to ignore me, or one would think...

So I waited 9 days to initiate contact. I called him and left a vm saying I wanted to address the elephant in the room. He didn't call back. Now, I was told by my friend that waiting 9 days after he initiated contact looks like I'm just playing games with him. Anyways, I just wanted to closure and I'm the type to get things off my chest so a week after that I sent a quick text. I pretty much said it seems like we both had been ignoring/avoiding each other lately and it's caused a lot of time to go by. Thought we had a good thing going on before this. I asked "so whats going on ? If I don't hear from you then I'll draw my own conclusions". He never responded. What an asshole. I gave him the easiest way out (via text) to say "hey not interested", but he's obviously so spineless that he couldn't do that smh. I'm so pissed and hurt right now. Why even contact me just the week and half before? I don't know I just thought people still had the decency to be honest.

My best friend who had spent quite a bit of time with us a couple is convinced that there's something else going on in his life right now and him being distant has nothing going on with me. She said her "gut" is that he still cares for me but has something that he's not ready to discuss on his end yet and that I'll hear from him. Even if that is true I think that's BS. He doesn't communicate feelings well at all but I would still think he would send a quick text saying anything that gets the point across that he's not interested which is 1000x better than nothing 😢

Swear this is my first and last aqua that I'm going to date.

Posted by bumboklatt
Yeah sounded like you were playing games. Aqua have a hard time dealing with that Leo pride.

If we are not sure about something we will run at the first sign of trouble.

And him flirting and being friendly that's just him on a good day. We are friendly with most people, it's nothing special.

Well he wasn't friendly with me before lol. We hadn't talked like that in a while, especially since I blew him off the week before when he wanted to see me. I So why ignore me a few days before then make contact? Why not have just let it continue to die since he already ignored me asking to get together only the few days before?

Yea I might have been playing games (unintentionally) but that doesn't excuse why him being an asshole. I thought you guys were known for being brutally honest lol, why not just respond with "hey not interested" "don't think this is a good idea"?

Posted by leodilemma19900730

Posted by bumboklatt
Yeah sounded like you were playing games. Aqua have a hard time dealing with that Leo pride.

If we are not sure about something we will run at the first sign of trouble.

And him flirting and being friendly that's just him on a good day. We are friendly with most people, it's nothing special.

Well he wasn't friendly with me before lol. We hadn't talked like that in a while, especially since I blew him off the week before when he wanted to see me. I So why ignore me a few days before then make contact? Why not have just let it continue to die since he already ignored me asking to get together only the few days before?

Yea I might have been playing games (unintentionally) but that doesn't excuse why him being an asshole. I thought you guys were known for being brutally honest lol, why not just respond with "hey not interested" "don't think this is a good idea"?

click to expand

Well you're right about that. He didn't have to say anything to you, he could've just left it alone but he didn't. That's because he didn't want to. If he just wanted to be friendly with you he wouldn't have ignored you. He ignored you because you ignored him/blew him off when he wanted to see you before this. That's not how someone who wants to just be friends act.

Now, as far as him ignoring you know he's a) either guarding himself, b)has other things going on since his roommate did say he was in a weird space/funk, or c) really isn't interested. My guess is it's a or b.

He probably is confused about what he wants to do and that's why he didn't say he's not interested, because that's not what he wants to say right now. Especially if he does have something going on in his life right now he's just putting this out of his head.

Posted by Freetobe007
Awwwh, cheer up, buttercup! They don't mean to be. They're really usually just not good at confrontation so they avoid it. Which is very interesting to me because in other situations, they can be such excellent communicators but when there's a problem, it's like they become the exact opposite and are literately gone like the wind. Air signs have a very special, unique way of communicating and it can be hard to decipher for us fire signs who are very direct and don't beat around the bush so I get your frustration, but at the same time.

My air sign trick: Give them space and mirror their behavior. No matter what you feel or what your initial reaction is, keep it concealed and do not have an assertive, straightforward approach until you actually have them right in front of you where you can directly look them in the face and they can't run away from you. Air signs will typically come to you when you are not chasing after them; something about the lack of communication may intrigue them. Sometimes, they'll be off dividing their mental stimulation/expanding their sources of mental stimulation. Other times, they just are not assertive to speak what they feel and be upfront about whatever is on their hearts.

I don't think that's a fair assessment of even half of aquarius sun men. I've been with one and he was very confrontational. He had aries venus/aquairus mars though. he was very confrontational in your face. even to outsiders, he didn't give a fuck.

I bet a man with with Aries mars is gonna be super confrontational too. It's just the nature of the mars, unless maybe it's in the 12th house.

your aqua guy doesn't sound like he's interested if he's not chasing you. I don't know, it depends on your placements. what are your placements and his??

if he's not all over you, I think for sure it's over, OP. but I don't deal with the disappearing type of guys. I hate those types.

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now I understand why James Dean was the IN your face fuck you, kind of vibe.

he had Leo mars.

aries dominant.

Posted by Caplove

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Freetobe007
Awwwh, cheer up, buttercup! They don't mean to be. They're really usually just not good at confrontation so they avoid it. Which is very interesting to me because in other situations, they can be such excellent communicators but when there's a problem, it's like they become the exact opposite and are literately gone like the wind. Air signs have a very special, unique way of communicating and it can be hard to decipher for us fire signs who are very direct and don't beat around the bush so I get your frustration, but at the same time.

My air sign trick: Give them space and mirror their behavior. No matter what you feel or what your initial reaction is, keep it concealed and do not have an assertive, straightforward approach until you actually have them right in front of you where you can directly look them in the face and they can't run away from you. Air signs will typically come to you when you are not chasing after them; something about the lack of communication may intrigue them. Sometimes, they'll be off dividing their mental stimulation/expanding their sources of mental stimulation. Other times, they just are not assertive to speak what they feel and be upfront about whatever is on their hearts.

I don't think that's a fair assessment of even half of aquarius sun men. I've been with one and he was very confrontational. He had aries venus/aquairus mars though. he was very confrontational in your face. even to outsiders, he didn't give a fuck.

I bet a man with with Aries mars is gonna be super confrontational too. It's just the nature of the mars, unless maybe it's in the 12th house.

LOL. You're right about that Aries Mars. Mine had it (in the 5th) and damn, sometimes it felt like WWE smackdown sometimes. 😄 He was more tempered and under control though because he had Cap moon.

click to expand

if it's a good square, and less harmful, healthy kind of up yours, middle finger kind of energy.

then whew!!!

Aries placements are very nice, imo, I love mars energy so the healthy fuck you vibe is good.

Posted by lisabethur8
your aqua guy doesn't sound like he's interested if he's not chasing you. I don't know, it depends on your placements. what are your placements and his??

if he's not all over you, I think for sure it's over, OP. but I don't deal with the disappearing type of guys. I hate those types.

edit '

'

now I understand why James Dean was the IN your face fuck you, kind of vibe.

he had Leo mars.

aries dominant.

But why would he chase her? She said this all started by her messing things up, then ignoring him, then blowing him off after he wanted to see her, then she waited weeks to ask to see him, then he initiated contact, then she waited a long time to reach out to him.

I can't blame him for not chasing her. Even he was in love with her if he was my guy friend or brother I would tell him not put forth much effort in pursuing her because it looks like she's not that invested, that it's all on her terms/time, or she can just pick him up and drop him whenever she wants.

I think he is interested but just isn't sure. I know that's how I would be if I were him. If you think about it what was the point of him asking to see her? What was the point of him reaching out to OP after she asked to get together and said miss you? Why didn't he just let it die there? Again, I think interest is there but he's not completely sold since OP has been all over the place with him.

lol or if it's mars fire in the 12th....

with a lot of air...

you get a raving lunatic going politics.

(edit - probably uses that 12th house mars as a guise, then does the side lines stuff)





hot air, but still effective. just screams more.

actually he has cancer mercury in the 11th.

watery emotional air.

Posted by dannmann1992

Posted by lisabethur8
your aqua guy doesn't sound like he's interested if he's not chasing you. I don't know, it depends on your placements. what are your placements and his??

if he's not all over you, I think for sure it's over, OP. but I don't deal with the disappearing type of guys. I hate those types.

edit '

'

now I understand why James Dean was the IN your face fuck you, kind of vibe.

he had Leo mars.

aries dominant.

But why would he chase her? She said this all started by her messing things up, then ignoring him, then blowing him off after he wanted to see her, then she waited weeks to ask to see him, then he initiated contact, then she waited a long time to reach out to him.

I can't blame him for not chasing her. Even he was in love with her if he was my guy friend or brother I would tell him not put forth much effort in pursuing her because it looks like she's not that invested, that it's all on her terms/time, or she can just pick him up and drop him whenever she wants.

I think he is interested but just isn't sure. I know that's how I would be if I were him. If you think about it what was the point of him asking to see her? What was the point of him reaching out to OP after she asked to get together and said miss you? Why didn't he just let it die there? Again, I think interest is there but he's not completely sold since OP has been all over the place with him.

click to expand

good points.

I don't know.....OP, read this person's post. then maybe youll understand why he is not pursuing you.

Posted by lisabethur8
your aqua guy doesn't sound like he's interested if he's not chasing you. I don't know, it depends on your placements. what are your placements and his??

if he's not all over you, I think for sure it's over, OP. but I don't deal with the disappearing type of guys. I hate those types.

edit '

'

now I understand why James Dean was the IN your face fuck you, kind of vibe.

he had Leo mars.

aries dominant.

Well I don't know about aquarius guys, but me as a sag I never chase women I like, at least not too much. I back off whenever I feel she is playing games or makes me doubt myself. It's been like 9 months since I haven't spoken to this aqua girl, but it doesn't mean I don't care for her. Actually I can't stop thinking about her, but I just won't chase or initiate contact with her. However I chase the hell out of a woman if I only want SEX!

As for the OP, well I think you messed up early. When I saw the title of your thread I thought this aqua guy did something terrible to you but it turns out he didn't do anything terrible at all, he even contacted you and gave you a chance.

Posted by leodilemma19900730
I know not at all of them are like this but from the message board it seems like quite a bit are. I'll also be honest and say I'm just being bitter right now haha. I guess I just need to vent.

I was seeing this aqua. Everything was great. Insane chemistry. He even told me he hasn't felt this way about someone in a long time. I know we fell for each other. I kind of goofed it up with me and my leo roar. I apologized a week later, he said everything was fine, but then I goofed up again and just retreated for almost a week and never said anything to him. This is where things really started to go downhill. We both just backed off, which unfortunately let A LOT of time go by with minimal contact, and as the saying goes passivity breeds distance. Meanwhile I ran into his roommate and he pretty much said he was just in a weird space and stopped working at the place he had been at for years and wasn't going out. After about a month or so he wanted to see me but I accidentally blew him off (I didn't read the text correctly and didn't know he was asking to get together). Two weeks go by and I reach out to him to get coffee and said "miss you" but he completely ignored me but days later he reaches out to me . He was on a trip with his buddy so I know it wasn't a booty call. He was funny and flirty like old times. I figured if he wasn't interested he would've just let it die by continuing to ignore me, or one would think...

So I waited 9 days to initiate contact. I called him and left a vm saying I wanted to address the elephant in the room. He didn't call back. Now, I was told by my friend that waiting 9 days after he initiated contact looks like I'm just playing games with him. Anyways, I just wanted to closure and I'm the type to get things off my chest so a week after that I sent a quick text. I pretty much said it seems like we both had been ignoring/avoiding each other lately and it's caused a lot of time to go by. Thought we had a good thing going on before this. I asked "so whats going on ? If I don't hear from you then I'll draw my own conclusions". He never responded. What an asshole. I gave him the easiest way out (via text) to say "hey not interested", but he's obviously so spineless that he couldn't do that smh. I'm so pissed and hurt right now. Why even contact me just the week and half before? I don't know I just thought people still had the decency to be honest.

My best friend who had spent quite a bit of time with us a couple is convinced that there's something else going on in his life right now and him being distant has nothing going on with me. She said her "gut" is that he still cares for me but has something that he's not ready to discuss on his end yet and that I'll hear from him. Even if that is true I think that's BS. He doesn't communicate feelings well at all but I would still think he would send a quick text saying anything that gets the point across that he's not interested which is 1000x better than nothing 😢

Swear this is my first and last aqua that I'm going to date.

Aside form the many glaring mistakes you've made up to the "ultimatum" (via text) you sent, your biggest was assuming that his lack of response through text was enough to draw a conclusion about his feelings. That's the trouble with trying to build/establish/maintain a relationship through technology. There is the expectation that others should be waiting on the other end with baited breath hoping you'll text as if their lives revolve around a small box. If you don't get an immediate response, you project whatever insecurity you have floating in your mind. Had you tried to talk to him in person or even picked up the the phone to call him (again) you may have gotten further. There could have been any number of reasons why he didn't respond, or couldn't.

Based on what you wrote you seem to think that your relationship revolved around you and your wants/needs. You "goofed up again" and rather than own it, you retreated? Makes absolutely no sense other than ego to me. Fast forward...He reached out to you after how many weeks of silence from you---that you initiated. You reach out with a lame "I miss you" (basically ignoring how you behaved) and when he didn't respond as you thought he should, you let your ego run the show. Again. Waited nine days to respond, to address the issue because you were ready to address it...

I think the labels you're using for him can be equally shared.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by leodilemma19900730
I know not at all of them are like this but from the message board it seems like quite a bit are. I'll also be honest and say I'm just being bitter right now haha. I guess I just need to vent.

I was seeing this aqua. Everything was great. Insane chemistry. He even told me he hasn't felt this way about someone in a long time. I know we fell for each other. I kind of goofed it up with me and my leo roar. I apologized a week later, he said everything was fine, but then I goofed up again and just retreated for almost a week and never said anything to him. This is where things really started to go downhill. We both just backed off, which unfortunately let A LOT of time go by with minimal contact, and as the saying goes passivity breeds distance. Meanwhile I ran into his roommate and he pretty much said he was just in a weird space and stopped working at the place he had been at for years and wasn't going out. After about a month or so he wanted to see me but I accidentally blew him off (I didn't read the text correctly and didn't know he was asking to get together). Two weeks go by and I reach out to him to get coffee and said "miss you" but he completely ignored me but days later he reaches out to me . He was on a trip with his buddy so I know it wasn't a booty call. He was funny and flirty like old times. I figured if he wasn't interested he would've just let it die by continuing to ignore me, or one would think...

So I waited 9 days to initiate contact. I called him and left a vm saying I wanted to address the elephant in the room. He didn't call back. Now, I was told by my friend that waiting 9 days after he initiated contact looks like I'm just playing games with him. Anyways, I just wanted to closure and I'm the type to get things off my chest so a week after that I sent a quick text. I pretty much said it seems like we both had been ignoring/avoiding each other lately and it's caused a lot of time to go by. Thought we had a good thing going on before this. I asked "so whats going on ? If I don't hear from you then I'll draw my own conclusions". He never responded. What an asshole. I gave him the easiest way out (via text) to say "hey not interested", but he's obviously so spineless that he couldn't do that smh. I'm so pissed and hurt right now. Why even contact me just the week and half before? I don't know I just thought people still had the decency to be honest.

My best friend who had spent quite a bit of time with us a couple is convinced that there's something else going on in his life right now and him being distant has nothing going on with me. She said her "gut" is that he still cares for me but has something that he's not ready to discuss on his end yet and that I'll hear from him. Even if that is true I think that's BS. He doesn't communicate feelings well at all but I would still think he would send a quick text saying anything that gets the point across that he's not interested which is 1000x better than nothing 😢

Swear this is my first and last aqua that I'm going to date.

Aside form the many glaring mistakes you've made up to the "ultimatum" (via text) you sent, your biggest was assuming that his lack of response through text was enough to draw a conclusion about his feelings. That's the trouble with trying to build/establish/maintain a relationship through technology. There is the expectation that others should be waiting on the other end with baited breathe hoping you'll text as if their lives revolve around a small box. If you don't get an immediate response, you project whatever insecurity you have floating in your mind. Had you tried to talk to him in person or even picked up the the phone to call him (again) you may have gotten further. There could have been any number of reasons why he didn't respond, or couldn't.

Based on what you wrote you seem to think that your relationship revolved around you and your wants/needs. You "goofed up again" and rather than own it, you retreated? Makes absolutely no sense other than ego to me. Fast forward...He reached out to you after how many weeks of silence from you---that you initiated. You reach out with a lame "I miss you" (basically ignoring how you behaved) and when he didn't respond as you thought he should, you let your ego run the show. Again. Waited nine days to respond, to address the issue because you were ready to address it...

I think the labels you're using for him can be equally shared.

click to expand

So well said @phoenixrising. I'm still fairly new to the site so I'm always curious to see what others think, even if it's not my own post lol. I agree just because he hasn't responded doesn't mean he's not interested/doesn't have feelings. Don't you think Phoenix rising that he's probably just harboring a good amount of resentment right now? I think he'll come around but OP just needs to give him space and time to miss her. He was trying through all that BS in OP's post I'm sure he cares a lot. OP you also have to keep in mind his roommate said he was dealing with some stuff so I'm sure between the BS and what's going on with him your relationship is taking a back seat.

Give him time. Don't lash out or make half assed attempts. He'll more than likely come around.

I don't blame him for acting the way he's acting. If I were him I would def think I'm being toyed with. He was interested & now he's just whatever. He may come back but u shouldn't wait for him either. He sounds like the opposite of a pushover