is this normal behavior for aqua men?

Been together for 3 months now, sometimes we just don't get along. He is very insecure and negative all the time as if he has all of his defenses up and has to protect himself. he moved very fast with me, within first weeks wanted to be officially exclusive, by month 2 he told me he loved me. i'm more careful and cautious, i know better than to trust and jump in so easily. he thinks i'm too good for him and says i'm going to leave him. we spend so much time together and he always wants me to be around more, but we barely know each other despite all the time spent, he is very closed off and does not like to talk seriously about himself or his life (so i know very little) nor does he like to have analytical discussions about any other topics just in general, he doesn't want to give much of an opinion on anything as if he doesn't want to create any disagreements between us and i truly desire a mental connection. he is very needy and craves my affection, nurturing and care as if he was deprived of such things during his life, he can't take criticism at all and if i bring up anything that he does that bothers me he gets upset as if i'm telling him he's a failure (i'm not in any way saying that) and always says "well why don't you just break up with me, we know you're going to do it anyway." recently i think i had made him feel more secure so he has stopped with the comments about how i don't love him and that i'll leave him but now instead we get into more disagreements because i don't put up with his negative thinking anymore and i've been more verbal about it and this has caused him to feel constantly attacked i guess but really the negative things he says should not be tolerated on a daily basis.

i don't know what to do about this. it seems to me that he has unresolved issues that are interfering with his ability to be in a healthy relationship. what should i do to help this aquarius become a healthy human or is it hopeless? i don't want to give up on him i do care for him very much and i can deal with the neediness but it's getting to the point that i can't deal with the negativity, it's making the time i spend with him unpleasant and i find myself not wanting to be around him b/c i am not happy. what is going on with him? help please. thank you so much.

You're definitely correct- he behaves like a child and the rational part of me says that I need to end things. However, I feel commited to him and to what we could be if he could just overcome these issues and of course I feel that I could help him accomplish that but then, I've been in this position before and I told myself never again. I know fully well that it's a process that he needs to take on and he has to desire to change and be healthy, but I could be there to support him as long as I know he's trying.. I think you're exactly right but I feel unwilling to just give up on him. I feel stuck.
Is there anything particular to aquarius that I should pay attention to that would help me figure out what to do in this situation? anything I should pay attention to to help him or to finally convince myself that i should let it go?

and just to clarify: I don't want to change him I want to help him get over his issues so he can be who he truly is beneath all the defenses. I'm someone who will see things through if i care about you, i just won't leave you because you have some things to sort through i will stick it out as long as I can, but at the same time i wonder if that's the wrong approach.

Yeah, I don't know if I should stick around through the process (if one occurs) b/c just like you said, to whatever extent this is who he is and perhaps these insecurities and behaviors will not change. I keep thinking that he has some serious issues and that's what is causing him to be the way he is but who is to say that those issues will ever be overcome? what if it's just so internal now that it IS who he is. I think the same way: you should take people as they come, in that moment, for who they are not some "potential" you see, b/c that's no way to love or have a relationship with someone. it won't work. i am pretty torn though there is so much i know is not right about the way he acts and thinks but then there are some wonderful moments and i just wish it could be like that all the time, that he could be like that all the time or at least most of the time. we could be so happy. it's there its just that he becomes this defensive, angry, insecure person and I don't know what to do.

honestly, you sound like the aquarius and he seems like a scorpio.

I totally feel your pain. I've been with my aquaman for almost 3 years and its been a crazy ride. He is the same way and the crazy part is he didn't start acting crazy until the 2nd year of our relationship. Honey Imma tell you like this if you want to be his mother...then go right ahead because with or with out you he is going to be him. Don't get emotionally stuck like me b/c im telling you;you are going to miss out on true happnesst if you stay. He will have to change on his own w/o someone holding his hand. Sometimes it takes drastic measures in order for a person to get right. So just think about what YOU want remember YOUR ARE THE STAR PLAYER

thanks for the advice everyone. things are going REALLY well, i have definitely seen many changes as he's started to trust me and my commitment to the relationship. we have had some serious convos and are getting better at understanding each other and being vulnerable with and trusting each other. i'm pretty happy with how things are going. he and i are both happy.

prettyme: ha i guess it does seem switched (although being a scorp i have to defend myself and say that i've never acted like that in a relationship 😉

luvinanaquarius: i feel that i could have taken this advice a couple months ago but now i am too attached and devoted, i'm sticking with him (don't worry though, if absolutely necessary i will cut it off, for example i won't tolerate abuse)

Hey Isabel,

is he one of the cuspers we have been discussing on the cusp forum? Although the moving quickly in the relationship is aqua, and some of what you describe, i still see the cappy as well😉 I'm glad things are going well between you and that he is trusting and opening up to you.

taurusgem: yep 😉 thanks, some things still feel off for me but for most part things are going well and i am hoping they will continue to get better as i come to understand him more and as he continues to feel safer to trust me. thing is, with any progress that is made he still recoils and puts his guard back up again. i guess it will take some time. the cap influence is very powerful it seems- he's only 1 degree aqua. getting used to the mix of those two signs is hard, it's hard to predict which side of his is going to react- with some things he can very open-minded and all-accepting, and very fun and easy-going, but then most of the time he just views things in such a negative light and finds problems, i don't know how i can stand it.