Letting go of Aquarius Long Distance

Hey there, doing this just for support because I'm sad but last night I let go of my longest relationship yet with an Aquarius because of distance. I moved from the Northeast to the South to pursue a prestigious career opportunity and now he's lonely and wants someone to be closer to him. I wouldn't be able to look at myself right if I went back now and gave up ginormous dreams but did talk about being with him in 3 years if he could commit to at the very least coming to visit in between my once every 9 weeks visits to him. It didn't seem to fly so I chose to "let him go" so he could pursue what it is he's looking for. I know to just leave him be but anyone else out there struggle with career pursuits conflicting with love??

Yes...a Gemini : ) Did you also? Perhaps because it's the season of barely appreciated Christmas, Bday, and Valentine attempts?

Haha..who sends broken carnations from online? A lazy motherfucker that's who!

I'm sure he'll think it over and might even have slight regrets when he ends up with a new girl but he seriously said to me "I'm in my late 20's and my friends are going to be married soon. I need to hang out with them while I can bc once they're married things won't be the same."

He lives in his comfort zone and while I idealize his close circle from the outside, I've worked really hard to get to where I am career wise that I can't allow myself to give it up for a guy who is nice but wont compromise and is not as nice as the experiences these opportunities are bringing.

What's your story?

Sounds simple your career was more important than him. Why the drama, let him go move on. He of course will move on without much fuss. You have your career he has his friends, heck you have your priorities after all.

Posted by Gem85
Hey there, doing this just for support because I'm sad but last night I let go of my longest relationship yet with an Aquarius because of distance. I moved from the Northeast to the South to pursue a prestigious career opportunity and now he's lonely and wants someone to be closer to him. I wouldn't be able to look at myself right if I went back now and gave up ginormous dreams but did talk about being with him in 3 years if he could commit to at the very least coming to visit in between my once every 9 weeks visits to him. It didn't seem to fly so I chose to "let him go" so he could pursue what it is he's looking for. I know to just leave him be but anyone else out there struggle with career pursuits conflicting with love??

At one stage yes. Back when I was still with my first love but I guess people all view priorities differently. She was my muse and inspiration, I had a clear goal of where I wanted to be but at the time I didn't think it was fair to just pack my bags and leave. Looking back it's easy to think why I didn't do it because the relationship is over, equally as easy to think I've blown my big chance back then but for what it's worth I think I made the right decision to stay.

I guess the difference is I would choose love every time but that's just how I'm wired up. If I can even see a remote possibility I can be with that person, I'll do everything to make it work. If it means I have to move to be with her then I would.

So I think you made the right choice. I'm sure you spoke to him about it all and even thought about the possibility of getting back together which to me means you haven't given up on it. He might have his own reasons in not wanting to meet in the middle so then you need to realise he's made his choice.

*shrugs* Maybe I'm reading too much into what you wrote but just seems to me you're doubting your choice. Cheer up, no choice is the wrong choice, I find it's usually what we make of that choice later on.

^ sorry brain derp. last paragraph, replace choice with decision

Well I invited him to come...several times. In fact, I ended up in the South because he made it seem like he wanted to live in the country so I had figured he'd be all for coming and chose down here as a destination I would be willing to move to. However, when I actually got the position and invited him, he said he was staying where his friends and family were. We agreed that long distance wasn't an option and had a great time the last month I was there but with the understanding that things were over once I left.

Well, I left and a few weeks later he contacted me missing me and wanting to come visit. He came to visit and we decided to try out long distance although I couldn't get him to talk about where the relationship was going (i.e. how long did we plan on trying long distance) no matter how much I tried. He's visited me down here twice and I've visited him there twice in the 7 months I've been here.

He quit his job and has been unemployed since November. Even with no job....he won't move here but he didn't want to end the relationship either. When we see each other in person it's a blast but since that is only once every other month, the in between time has been the difficult part. Back in December I saw he was logging into an online dating sight. He swore up and down he never met anyone and was just looking to see what people's profiles said. I know, I know in hindsight I knew then but I gave him the option of leaving and finding someone else but he said he didn't want to. So we spent the holidays together and made a 3 day road trip and all was peachy.

Another month goes by and we're right in the middle of visits...I see he's logging onto dating sights again. This is when things ended. He said he was lonely and wants me to be closer...since I'm not moving closer and he's not moving here...that's where the letting go came into play. I said I needed to finish this position in a year and half and do a one year grad program before I would gladly move to be with him. He seems to want a warm body next to him right now though : (

Posted by geminintheworld

Posted by Gem85
Yes...a Gemini : ) Did you also? Perhaps because it's the season of barely appreciated Christmas, Bday, and Valentine attempts?

LOL! too funny. Imagine a bunch of disgruntled geminis saying "right you fucked up valentine's day too. thats it your out!" haha

Yeah, i did too.

I wonder if that will be the end of it though, for you guys. Doesn't really sound finished. Do you sense that he might think it over and make a go of the long-distance thing?

click to expand

hahaha!

I sent my first shiitogram to an aqua too, for being unapreciative and disrespectful .. birthday attempt, i wasnt even going to go there for valentines no chance.. oh and i told him i was done with him.. finito! im on radio silence, probably couldnt give a butter though.

Lol how crazy

Posted by Metoo
Seems really disrespectful for him to actually be actively pursuing attention and connection from other women.
You deserve better. Seems like he already made the choice to abandon you emotionally when all you are trying to do is work and study.
He should admire and respect that.
Maybe he was meant to be in your life for only a season.
Right now I say to look toward your bright future and let him alone.
The writing is on the wall. You will be fine. Seriously.

+1

Posted by Gem85
Well I invited him to come...several times. In fact, I ended up in the South because he made it seem like he wanted to live in the country so I had figured he'd be all for coming and chose down here as a destination I would be willing to move to. However, when I actually got the position and invited him, he said he was staying where his friends and family were. We agreed that long distance wasn't an option and had a great time the last month I was there but with the understanding that things were over once I left. (

Here's what i think of him: He's impatient, selfish, stubborn..
ppl r different cuz I would wait 10 years for my love to come. Or If I got nothing to do I would move in. U said he quit his job so whats there to stay for? friends r going to b too busy with their marriage partners any time soon anyway. Plus friends shouldn't come ahead of someone that loves and willing to take a bullet for u right? He can visit his friends anytime but ur the one that he needs to stay with. anyways waiting a year and half is nothing. I waited 5 years.
He's not willing to sacrifice anything for u. U told him to wait and he wouldn't.
Let go and let him be with those online dating websites. Hes just saying he doesn't wana date blah blah cuz he doesnt wana make himself look like the bad cheater guy here.
Again ppl r different especially men. Many men dont like the idea of their gfs/wives being far. They will go for other women if ur not there.