more or not

I have a question and just looking for a bit of honest advise. I've been seeing an Capricorn guy for two years, being the Aquarius that I am its getting to the point of love me or leave me. Honestly does this mean he doesn't see me as being girlfriend material. He gives me whatever it is I ask for whatever I want. So I mentioned I would like to take a trip you know a vacation with him and he stated that's what ppl in relationships do. Huh we do relationship stuff now I didnt ask for a relationship never have I just want to do more. So is it safe to say he's not that into me because I shouldnt have to ask?

Being an Aquarius woman. Myself...we tend to sacrife a lot for the. People we love and care for. The question is...does he meet your needs. I have wasted 8 1/2. Years with a man who would tell me similiar things. We finally got married and a year later he changed on me....deep in your heart u know the answer. Its about you and what makes u happy.

Being an Aquarius woman. Myself...we tend to sacrife a lot for the. People we love and care for. The question is...does he meet your needs. I have wasted 8 1/2. Years with a man who would tell me similiar things. We finally got married and a year later he changed on me....deep in your heart u know the answer. Its about you and what makes u happy.

Deep in my heart I feel like if he was ready I would be his lady. But my whole thing is why is there a boundary with him> i Cant be titled or categorized I just want him to be fair to me and give me what I want even if he thinks its relationship things because I've always been there for him I just want what I want and I give him what he wants, maybe no matter how hard i should just let it go I wasted enough time .

Does he give u what u need— Unfortunately we live in a world where relationships are not valued the way they should be....but ihave learned that life is too short to give your all and not get back the exact measure or more in return....only u can make that decision

wow thats true. yea so I guess I being to try and move on two years was a lot of time and I guess i should have known then huh the truth hurts so now how do I move on I really like him so I will let it go. I always went out of the way for him and he's did the same but I guess I'm not what he wants because there would be no question. Thank You I never liked someone so much.

He's unsure of the "relationship" that you two are supposed to have, so he's trying to force the label on you. He's not being upfront with the issue, but despite his pussy footing I would say he's quite into you. The thing is he may not like you the way you want him to.

Also you talk a lot about about your wants, but do you know what you really want?

"Also you talk a lot about about your wants, but do you know what you really want?"


I talk a lot about my wants true but I've giving a lot too what he's asked of me. I've always aimed to please or did whatever what put a smile on his face he's a cappy he works hard and is down a lot. But last night I sat down and talk to him and he said we shouldn't be so involved he just wants to be mutual friends so now I know after telling I felt he wasn't that into me it was like a smack in the face DAM it hurt but lessoned learned and I dont want to be anything to him right now.

Oh well, at least you tried and now you can move on to something else.

Your right at least now I know. He lost a good friend.

Cap here. You say he has given you everything you ask for. Hes gone out of his way for you. Duh! He's into you. Or he was anyway. Aquas are fustrating to caps. We give our all.but you guys (sorry about the generalization) are hard to read. We wonder constantly about your aloofness and what it means. Caps can be insecure and sometimes we feel you aren't providing reassurances we need.. Eventually we will save face and just give up. Get tired of waiting. Get tired of reading between the lines.

Just the opinion of a cap with an aqua.

As far as your question, maybe he shielded up because he felt like you never wanted a relationship. I don't think he'd stick it our for two years without feeling something. But it might be too late if he shielded up to the point he's turned feelings off.

ty...truecap. Thinking about this one. There is a possibility that the Cap has shielded because the Aqua was distant until this issue arose. He could be trying to protect himself, and might need "warm and friendly" encouragement in the right direction. If you really like him, it might be worth warm and friendly encouragement in the right direction rather than giving up. I would not give a Capricorn an ultimatum. However, warm and friendly encouragment in the right direction then stating why you think it would be ok to go on the vacation together.

However, the Aquas have a point as well. If he is not meeting your needs, then you are under no obligation to keep investing and you can walk away.

Ladies no offense what was he shielding? it's nothing confusing about me I gave him all of me and has always encouraged him and been there shared much with him so then I tell I love you and he says we're to involved yea whatever Cap or not that shit hurts. And like I've stated before he's lost a good friend. You cant make someone be into you or love you back but he could have been cut me off no one can tell me he didnt know I been loved him.

The shields are about protecting your heart, your pride, your feelings, saving face. It is sometimes a self defense mechanism. Sometimes we do it when we're not sure about something or someone.

I think you constantly reassured him of the fact that you did NOT want a relationship. So he settled for less and went about his business. Shields of self protection activated. Seems like you were so wishy washy, so he put any thought of having a real relationship with you on the back burner. And he kept seeing other people. You didn't, but he did. Now, all of a sudden you really do want a relationship (really, I think you still don't know what you want). Now you are getting a taste of your own medicine. Its not on purpose, but that's the cycle of things.

I think its too late. If he's telling you he doesn't want a relationship and didn't reciprocate the love, then there is no chance at this point. I'm sorry. I know it hurts. A cap, or anyone for that matter, will only put themselves out there on a limb only so much, then its reigned in and feelings are hardened. He probably enjoys your company, but isn't going to allow himself to take it any further. This is where aquas and caps are similar - both can detach.

I wouldn't right the friendship off permanently, just temporarily. Eventually, you can probably be real friends with him - after the hurt has all subsided.

Chalk it up for a lesson learned, not to be repeated in your next relationship.

Again, I'm sorry. I feel your pain. 😢

ok. He was as wishy washy as I was and I wasnt hoping for any type of relationship from him after that.

Two questions for OP:

1) Did he ask for a relationship at one point and you said you were not ready?

2) Are you both sexually exclusive at this time by mutual choice?

Caps need an awful lot of reassurance before they are comfortable revealing vulnerability. They do NOT want to look foolish or out-of-control of situations. We are self-protective folks. Sometimes, to our own detriment. If you rejected him at one point, this comment about "people in relationships go on vacations together" could be intended to reveal your intentions. Just a thought.

I love TrueCap's answer to this one as well. And your response makes me think she's spot-on for this situation. Best of luck!

Yes, the comment, only people in relationships go on trips together, could have been sarcasm.

I know you two are Caps, and he his too and that's great and all. Ok we started out casual August would have been 3 years, no I have never been a relationship, never. I admired him because he reminds me of myself he works hard and has always been there for me. I had no way of knowing I was going to fall in love him when we first met I was in school and working two jobs. During that time he did bring up being in a relationship not directly, he asked what I thought I told him that I had never done it before but if I was going to be in a relationship I would hope the man see's me as a wife. I'm 31. He never mentioned it again. We talked everyday for every moment of everyday since we knew each other went out and shared accounts. he did for me and I did for him. I graduated college and was offered a job in another state I've been here for 6 months when I told him about the move he didnt speak to me for about 30 days. I never asked for a relationship never. I've done only everything he has always asked of me and has always been by his side. Now I feel like your saying it's my fault look he could have been told me he wasnt into me like that or maybe the move showed instability I dont know. I love this man I do but and maybe the statement was to see where I am. But when I told him how I felt he said we shouldnt be so involved because he's not sure of what it is we have. Today I closed the accounts he's always trusted me and respected. I didnt say a word to him and he said he was sorry aand i shouldn't be mad I told him I wasn't mad just hurt and I walked away. Cap or not I didnt ask to be with him I simply told him how I felt. I just knew after gaining his trust and being there for him eventually i was going to be with him but hey its whatever, Im so embarrassed I dont know the rules of relationships but I knew how to be real and love him.

Now if he had of asked I would have said yes.

All I'm saying is if he's so traditional he should have been cut me off, I can respect his way of thinking I didnt mind the type of friends we were and yea I should have had boundaries but I was thinking go with it and if it turns into more than that's what it will do and it didnt two years later and i'm just hurt and learned a valuable lesson I feel like he wasnt real with me he could have told me how he felt or what he wanted so many times. He trusted me with everything else just not his heart.

Why thanks that really felt good, the only way I know how to be is real and that means a lot to me being real. Well I have no regrets, I learned a lot and thats the most valuable for me, and but if he did try to come back I would only see it as a waste of time, time is money. I Love him enough to let him go and I'm not angry just hurt and I will get over that but he could never what I call a real friend.

It doesn't sound like he's there with you right now emotionally. That's disappointing, but you're going to be ok. I don't think there are "rules" because every step has to be negotiated between the two people involved, but sometimes these generalizations about behavior can lead to insights. You can tell him where you are and what you need. Absolutely. Real friends communicate. Keep being real. This is most certainly not your fault.

He's a cap, right? Yes, caps are very traditional. Please re-read all your posts and try to see how you have confused him. He brought up the subject of relationships several times and you didn't respond the way he was hoping you would. Therefore, he settled for what you would offer (all this time you only offered FWB). In the end, you did tell him how you felt about him, but you still didn't ask him for a relationship. He has NO IDEA what you want from him, so after all this time, he's cutting his losses and moving on. He's had enough of not knowing and has gradually turned the feelings off.

Stop saying you don't know the rules of relationships. There are no "rules". A relationship is two people being honest with each other and expressing their desires and feelings, thoughts and ideas. Don't blame your lack of experience.

I understand you are hurting, and I'm empathetic to that, but until you learn to be open and vulnerable and honest, you are likely to keep repeating this cycle. It's like aquas seems to think "things/feelings/desires are obvious" but it's not. When you re-read all this try to put yourself in his shoes and try to understand his point of view.

You can still have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him everything you're thinking and feeling and be very vulnerable to him and explain everything you've told us. If you can't do it verbally, do it in written form.

And when I didn't respond the way he was hoping thats when he should have let me go. Well one thing is a fact HIS LOST, and he should really move on. And in regardless of how it happened it did. I'm not guilt tripping I just thought since I had never been in a relationship maybe I had did somethings wrong, but I didnt. I bet next time he wouldn't be so dam indirect. Thank you for you insight. I'm an Aqua one of a kind no time to waste.

You didn't do anything wrong, really. Caps are indirect sometimes, at other times we are very direct. I think it's when we're unsure and insecure that we are very indirect, because we have a fear of rejection. (Shhh! Don't tell anyone I'm spilling cap secrets).

Yes, it is his loss. Sounds like it's also your loss. 😢

I'm really sorry it didn't work out. I hope I haven't come across as uncaring. Because I do care. I was just trying to offer you another perspective.