My first Aqua Man

I have a question...I read a couple of threads before I decided to post...so not to bring up something that has been asked numerous times before...so if I do , please bare with me...thx

Is it typical for a Aqua male to ask (when he cares about someone...)how she feels about each new step they take in their relationship? With my Aqua when we went from friendship to more than friends he asked me if I was okay with the moves we were making and for me to let him know if I wanted to go back to being friends that he would be okay ...he wouldn't go anywhere...he was content either way? Is that typical? Because I read that Aqua males are suppose to be cold or they are misunderstood to be cold when they fall for someone...but my Aqua took my hand and put it to his heart and said that Im in here (meaning his heart...) no matter what happens with us... That was nine years ago and we broke up but remain friends, lost touch and found each other again (twice)...And he still says he loves me...

Everytime I ask if he's with someone it's never someone serious...and I ask if I move back to our hometown could we be together and he's like yes...He always makes time to talk to me when I call and he's the typical busy bee...and that is what he said to me the other day...that he needs someone to understand when he has to be gone a lot and may come home late...I admit I do need attention...I'm a Scorpio...but if I know that he'll make time for me when he has it...then I'm okay with it...I like to stay busy, too.

And he's very passionate...and a little romantic...and I read that Aqua's aren't like that...so he must have conflicting signs in his chart, right? How do I got about finding which sign is "controlling" the way he shows love?

If you have a busy Aqua and he is trying to work his schedule around you then I'd say there is a definite interest there. If I'm not interested in someone or I view them as "neutral" I am horrible at returning calls or answering when they call me. It's a different story if I'm interested in someone. I'd say he is probably asking you those questions because of his insecurity with how things are between you two. He probably is trying to understand how you feel and that is his way of trying to communicate. One thing that you will have to understand when in a relationship with an Aqua is we aren't always the best at communicating our feelings and no matter how busy our lives are we will need a lot of "me" time. This is where people categorize Aqua's as distant and impersonal. We can actually be very passionate and romantic but it comes in spurts. Too much affection can seem smothering.

Wow...cause I'm the affectionate type...when you say affection...are you talking about kissing and stuff or conveying of feelings, because he said he wished he had done more of the kissing and stuff...he misses that...and I read that Aqua's aren't the jealous type and he is...LOL thanks for your help...

No, by affection I don't necessarily mean kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc. Yeah, sometimes that can go overboard too but as an Aqua I'd say I'd rather express my love for a person with physical affection rather than with words. Too much of anything can turn into a bad thing. Personally, if I feel someone crowd me too much I feel a loss of independence. When I am with a significant other I enjoy the affection just as much as they do and that is usually not the problem. The problem usually arises when I want alone time to go do what I want.. whether it be going out with a friend, reading a book,or exercising. It might not sound like much.. but it's hard to get that time when others become suspicious of our "disappearing acts" and think we are off screwing every person till next Sunday! haha!

As far as jealousy goes, I am typically not the jealous type. However, I do get insecure the more that I feel for a person. Insecurity and jealousy kind of run close together. So in a sense.. jealousy does knock on my door sometimes.

okay...now I know why he said to me that he felt like we could be good together because I wouldn't feel like just because he went for a ride it meant he was cheating on me...LOL Yeah, I like my down time too...I like to be alone sometimes and then when I come back from doing whatever ...I turn the affection on...so I wonder why everytime I look at the compatiblity for Aqua/Scorp it says it's a bad match...seems to me we have a lot in common—

Scorpios and Aquas actually do have a lot in common.. a big one is we both are stubborn! lol. I dated a Scorpio once and two of the biggest problems I had was the Scorpio wanted to try to gain control over me in the relationship. Also, he had a good habit of trying to start fights over the littlest of things. I could never understand why he couldn't go with the flow and always had to question everything. It kind of killed the passion.

now i do question things...and not like i can speak for all Scorps...but i know i question things because i need complete understanding of what is going on and why so that i can be comfortable enough to go with the flow...so to speak...LOL He doesnt seem to have a problem when i do that...cause he always come back with a question of his own that is really like an answer to end all...LOL I love that...

Well one, don't be suprised that he never got over you, especially if you were his first love or one of the REAL experiences of love he's had in his life. Aquas have a hard time emotionally letting go of the people they've once loved, even though it may not seem like it since they can so coldly cut off the communication & any physical contact. If he's making time for you in his schedule & still being very open about you having all the access you want to his heart then listen to him. Aquas will NEVER wear their hearts on their sleeves for just anyone. Remember, we're the ones who take forever just to finally give in & Give our heart to that special person. Once we've put so much effort into actually & finally giving our heart to someone, it's very difficult for us to undo that whole process, which can explain why alot of Aquas never really get over their first love or (assuming the relationship ended mutually) why Aquas are always available & willing to try again with those from the past.

Him asking you if the pace he was taking the relationship was okay was a good thing. He knows that it takes him a LONG time to really & fully give his heart & to show his true colors AND be comfortable in doing so (KEY). We Aquas know that even though we might think we're taking things too fast, the other person usually sees it the opposite. And him asking you if you were okay with the pace was him actually caring about how you'd feel to how he works & that's BIG in the Aqua world. If we haven't fully let you into our hearts yet, we can really care less about how you feel about how slow or fast we take things b/c in the beginning, we are still very self-righteous & very content in how we "role." The very fact that he even cared enough to ask those questions means that your opinion was just as valuable to him as his own & that alone should speak for itself.

And the reason his relationships after you might not have been serious is b/c his heart never left someone from the past (and that someone is probably you). Aquas aren't good at pretending like their heart is into something when it's really not. He dated other women b/c he didn't want to be a loner & b/c he believed that it was possible for someone to out-do you, but honestly, he was just waiting the whole time for you to come back so that he could live, breath & function normally again

The only problem is: Aquas are notorious for letting that person back in more b/c of the pride that comes along with being able to say to themselves that they finally got that person back. It's like when someone tries to put your head under water; you're just so happy when you come back to the surface again. Aquas like to determine & chose when things are really over b/c they know that if they made that decision (regardless of what the other person wanted), they'll always be content & won't have to go through other relationships & be emotionally unavailable. And when an Aqua loses something that they weren't ready to give up yet, they naturally & immediately want it back, even if they don't plan on keeping it once they get it back.

They're like kids who eat just b/c the food is there, versus b/c they were actually hungry. Once that child puts the food in his mouth, the thrill of having it in hands will die down & he/she will usually spit it back out or won't enjoy it as much b/c they only wanted it & ate it b/c of the thrill & not b/c of the hunger.

So be careful. He might just be glad that he got you back & willing to come back b/c that will make him feel like he's got some of the power back. BUT, once the thrill of getting that power back goes away & once he realizes why he made you an X in the first place, he will go back to being self-righteous & might lead you on & slowly but surely start to cut you off OR won't be as affectionate, loving & considerate of how you feel about he works, like he used to be. In many cases, it takes for the X or 1st love to come back & piss us off ONE MORE TIME before we finally say "forget it." And once we emotionally detach, we are done forever. You really need to see where his head is before you make that big of a move. Find out if he wants you for the thrill or b/c he's actually hungry

And hey his Venus might not be in Aqua, but if his SUN or MOON is then understand that when in love, Aquas tend to use more logic than they do emotions. So sometimes their Sun or Moon is just as influential more than their Venus.

Sure he might've been affectionate & very compassionate & even still willing to accept you back. But remember what I said. You need to find out if he wants you back b/c of the thrill of getting what he wants (even if he's not sure he really can handle it) or if it's b/c he's really hungry. And also understand that even though Aquas are often willing to take you back, there's always a HIGH chance that the relationship will never again be like it used to be. He still might be sweet, affectionate, have the same job & hobbies, etc. But the level at which he shares that side of him might not ever (and probably won't ever be) the same again. Expect this. And the thing is, you probably won't notice it until you actually get back with him & get things rolling again & that can hurt you in the long run b/c you'll be expecting for things to be the same way they were when you left off, & you'll be in for a big suprise if that's the case with you.

Even if an Aqua loves you more than himself, he'll never truly forgive you for leaving him OR (if he left you) for giving him up so easily without a fight (even though we act like we hate this). And that simple reminder in his head about why you 2 broke up in the first place (even if it was 10 years ago) will be something that he NEVER forgets! And especially if you left him, he will naturally be willing to take you back BUT will all over again have a high guard up against you b/c of his fear of future hurt in the same form. Take things very slow right now & really figure out why you seem to still be his weakness. And don't be suprised when you realize or find out that he's doing this just for the thrill and/or for his own pride & sense of control, versus b/c he actually needs you so bad that he'd be willing to look like the vulnerable guy. Really understand this b/c alot of people often get their feelings hurt every single time

I just want to say thank you both for helping me understand him...being hurt so much I'm cautious...and I don't want to lose the friendship that we have...the easiness that us...but I don't want to miss out on someone wonderful either...