why are aquarius men like this??

ok so are aquarius men commitment phobes?? also, why do they disappear on you just when you think everything is going great?? do they eventually come back?? how long does it take them?? thank u!! ive been dating my aqua guy for 2 months now and hes being very distant with me. i thought he liked me because he told me that hes starting to really like me and that he misses me when he doesnt see me...

When did the disappearance occur and how long did/does it last?

Lol

I have a back and forth with an aqua man. It goes on for years now. He is a commitment phobe, for certain, but I just learned an interesting insight from his sister:

he is very sensitive and remembers things for a long time. I think this might be true. After a year of him playing like he doesn't like me (but finding ways to spend time with me...strange strange man) he has suddenly become, well...softer toward me. I don't know how to explain it, but it's refreshing not to be on the defensive with him.

If you want my advice, not that it's worth much since I am not in any kind of real relationship with him: just be his friend. Don't get angry or overreact about anything he does...or if you do, forgive him like you would a good friend of yours. Always be there for him.

I do that for my aqua, because it's truly how I feel, his friendship is important to me, all the other crap is just crap and it doesn't matter.

what else?? i want to hear more storiessss!!!

ahhh aquarius men..,y r they sooo confusing?!?!

cappygolightly...i have no self esteem— what the heck r u talking about woman??

i effin LOVEEEEEEEEE myself!!! and i mean LOVE myself!!

anywayzzz regardless cappygolighty has some issues!! what a herb!!

i want to hear more aqua stories from more people!! bring them on!! 🙂

no no no!! i want more starfish!! but ill admit ur story was good! 🙂

cappygolighty - all i got to say is WOW u must have no effin life since ur always on this forum because u sound like such a depressed child! get real sweatheart!! and please go out and have fun!! stop being on this forum 24/7. and when my aqua guy does come back to me, ill come back on this forum and laugh in ur face. GOODBYE and DONT write back!

starfish - thanks ill read those stories when i get a chance! 🙂

"just be his friend. Don't get angry or overreact about anything he does...or if you do, forgive him like you would a good friend of yours. Always be there for him."

reads : just be his doormat. Don't get angry or overreact about anything he does...or if you do, forgive him and let him walk all over you after all you have no self esteem..... Always be there for him when he finally deigns to honour you with his presence."

I didn't say anything about being a doormat! Sorry cappygolightly, you misunderstood. I am anything but a doormat to him. I am his friend, his sometimes lover, but ALWAYS his friend.

There are a lot of different definitions and ways of going about a relationship with a person. Just because you are forgiving doesn't mean they are abusive. Just because you are there for them doesn't mean they don't provide.

Somebody must have hurt you: all men are not like that.

I don't put my needs aside for him. He is not my boyfriend, he is my friend.

I don't even know what I really want from him other than friendship. There have been times that I've been in love with him, there have been times that I have detested him

Conversely, there have been times I've made him happy, and times I've pissed him off.

Just like any friend...except we have sex. Occasionally.

And every so often, there are moments, and believe this is true, we both love each other for exactly who the other person is and what we mean to each other.

The situation was created by both of us, it is complicated, but don't assume somebody is a doormat because they try to offer a man a bit of understanding. In three years, he has mostly been a good friend to me.

Well, what I'm saying to diana7514 is that being with a man who is a commitment phobe and trying to win him over may never work: or it may work out like what I describe above. That was the question, not how to have a long term loving relationship with him. He is not cut out of that cloth, there will be none. There can be some semblance of intimacy with them.

Part me always wonders what will come of my and my aqua. A part of me will always wonder and even hope a little. It doesn't mean he's walking all over me or that I'm a doormat.

And someday, I do want a long term loving relationship, but at 26 my focus is all over the place.

How old are you diana?

leo kitten - i heard from sOoO many people that aquaas do come back...have hope for me woman!

leo kitten dont be so effin negative...gosh!

BE POSITIVE!

a muse a libra - im 25 and my aqua guy is 25 too.

well i was dating him for 2 months...and while i was dating him he would tell me things such as "im starting to really like you" "i miss u when i dont see u" and call me pet names...ive read somewhere that aquarius guys dont lie and they tell the truth,..plus whenever i was out with him i had the time of my life and i felt like he did too...now its been a month and i havent heard from him..he like disappeared on me doing his own things..he even told me himself that he can be weird at times...strange huh?? i dont know what went wrong! 😢

leokitten...because i really like him and it just hurts - plain and simple.

" "im starting to really like you" "i miss u when i dont see u" and call me pet names..."

Something I learned this year: feelings can change, rapidly. In a matter of days. I was dating a great guy, had everything I was looking for. I told him so. A about a week later, it was all I could do to hang out with him. I didn't leave him high and dry, I broke things off. But all of sudden, I realized how quickly feelings change.

He can say these things and be honest. But it doesn't mean they will last.

Also, when we were dating (for about 2 months) my aqua didn't disappear. He broke things off with me, then he disappeared. He does always come back, but it's not like total silence, and it's not always for sex or relationship stuff. We've always been friends, before we were dating and after.

My advice about remaining friends with him is because aquas highly regard their friends and will very likely end up in a long term relationship with somebody who is their friend.

"so you would take him back? after he completely disrespected you?"

Is this really COMPLETE disrespect? I don't think so...I think it's just a part of life, like anything else. Men are weird! They suck sometimes, but it doesn't mean they are essentially bad people.

You guys act like there is a set receipe for success! And at 25, why shouldn't she dream a little?

"But when its real feelings don't change like that..thats why I said watch his actions if he cares that will never change..Words and action should match.."

Yes, real feelings don't change, but sometimes it takes a few weeks to realize what kind of feelings they are.

My actions toward my ex followed suit, until my feelings didn't match.

"i mean if you are in love after two months"

she just likes him! And because he helped her to get to feeling that way by telling her sweet things. She's not love, and obviously, he isn't either.

After two months, I wouldn't expect much more considering MOST of the men I've dated in the last 3 years have disappeared without a word around that time, and yes, it was to end things between us.

All I'm saying is this is how guys treat girls. Two months is really not long at all, nothing is safe at two months, and in their minds: nothing is owed.

leokitten -- i agree with u on that...that a guy should at least tell a girl that hes not interested or needs some space right now rather than disappearing on her with no explanation. its so disrespectful and it makes them look a like coward!

starfish i forgot to add - not only did he say those things to me but he was also very affectionate towards me...like he would hold my hand and hug me and kiss me...also he took me to his friends party bc he wanted me to meet all of his friends

leokitten ive called him the last three times so no...sorry but i really dont like chasing guys around...am i right or wrong?

leokittten - noooo the last three times that i called he picked up and we did speak. he didnt cut me off or anything. infact i was the one who ended the convos. but i sent out a text to all of my friends (including him) wishing everyone a merry christmas...he didnt reply back to that text. plus he hasnt called me. (havent heard from him in a month)

yeah but leokitten can his feelings go away that quickly?? i mean come on now its been a month. hes gotta have at least some feelings left over.

he has not spoken with me in the past month...the last 3 phone calls were like the end of nov/beginning of dec.

who knows...ill keep you posted if he comes back.

starfish - most aqua men come back?? uve seen it happen??

yeah i remember reading somewhere that they do make better friends than boyfriends. I'll let you know if he contacts me again.

i forgot to mention to everyone that i am a libra. librans and aquarians are compatible right??

leokittten - noooo the last three times that i called he picked up and we did speak. he didnt cut me off or anything. infact i was the one who ended the convos. but i sent out a text to all of my friends (including him) wishing everyone a merry christmas...he didnt reply back to that text. plus he hasnt called me. (havent heard from him in a month)

So the last three phone calls where on your initiation not his?? Then you sms him on Xmas and get no reply— And no phone call or text from him since the end of November. Can I suggest the downward facing dog position to help you get the hint—

lol LA ^ seriously diana, you're clinging this much hope to someone you've known for how long?

Libras and Aquas are very compatible, but both have a detatached idea about love. It makes it hard for either to actually settle down into a relationship with each other. Libra wants a relationship but senses aqua's reluctance to settle down: causes Libra to detach further.

In order for them to meet up somewhere in the middle, a lot of work has to be done on both sides.

Though, I've never slept better with a sun sign than with an aqua. It's like we just FIT.

...sounds like your aqua is a distraction to me, something to focus on. Don't worry about him so much! If he comes back, he comes back. If he doesn't, he doesn't. At 25 you should be out having fun, dating more people.

And really, if you start dating somebody else it'll really get his goat.

you're right muse... plus 2 air signs = too much airiness, unless both have a sprinkling of water or earth somewhere. This is the major prob I've seen with this combo...

even if the signs are compatible, it doesn't mean all of the similar suns you come across will be compatible with you... similar to signs you're not supposed to be compatible with, you won't be automatically incompatible, etc

Diana if things go too well for them they won't like like it.

^ that makes a lot of sense Robin...thats when they seem to run away

Robin that doesnt make any sense to me. Dont you think if things are going really well for aquarius men, they will like it?? thats what i felt like happened with me and my aqua guy bc i really felt a connection and then just when i think that things r going sooo well he vanishes??