Of Course He's Confusing, But...

I still want to know!

We met at a bar and hit it off. He contacted me via text a few days later to invite me out dancing. Had a wonderful time, ended with an sweet kiss. We met up again when he played a show (he's in a band, lead singer, lead sax..funk). Same thing, very light peck on the lips goodnight after the show.

Since then, things have cooled somewhat. We went to one other show together, no kiss, but a long conversation in the parking lot after the show. I invited him out, which he accepted, and then cancelled. He hasn't invited me out since the last show.

What confuses me, though, is he texts me almost everyday. Or every other day. He texted me that he was at our spot, where we met, but didn't invite me to meet him. I invited myself and we had a nice time. When we parted, he asked if I wanted to see him again...

I got a facebook invite to his next show this Friday. Is that a real invite? Is he interested?

I've already considered the possibility of another woman. We've only really been out during the weekend once, and that was a Friday night. I've never seen his place. I've met a few of his friends...

thoughts? should I go Friday?

and he is aquarius. he is 8 years older than me.

HJNTIY....He's just not that into you, not enough to continue, maybe the attraction wasn't strong enough or perhaps the price was too high to date you and he wants something easier, price being too high is spending money on dates, courting, opening doors etc etc, who knows but I wouldn't answer anymore of his text messages and I would keep it moving. He's put you in the option box meaning if nothing better comes along your an option and that's not a great spot to be in....

As for the Facebook invite....you and most likely everyone else got that invitation, unless it was a personal invitation, one were he took the time out of his day to ASK you to come via some form of communication other than a mass email invite I wouldn't consider that the kind of invitation you truly want from him and I wouldn't go...

Also text messaging is a LAZY mans way of keeping women around, most commitment phobic men love text messaging, it's a great way to connect but stay disconnected from the reality of courting a woman, you and everyone is most likely getting those same exact text messages, good morning, how's your day?, i'm at the place we met, I'm with my friends at so and so place, you can go on twitter and read the exact same messages I'm sure lol...jus saying

well, I know that Tiki...he's not that into me. It's not that big of a deal to me, but I was just wondering why bother with the texting at all.

Options make sense. I'm at a place where I don't really mind that, in truth. I have opened my dating doors wide open in the last few months. I date whomever I please, I don't get intimate or physical with any of them, but always have something to do or someone to call on Friday or Saturday...

I have my own options, and he's just one of them. I was curious though, the behavior is odd. If a guy isn't that into me, he usually doesn't make an effort at all...I've never run into this particular type of brush off...

What he's doing isn't unfamiliar, keeping a door open just in case this or that girl doesn't work out, it's happening to women all the time, plenty of why is he texting me but doesn't want to meet up with me, date me threads. Sometimes there is no real reason, men do what they wanna do, if there is no real actions behind his behavior it really doesn't matter why, all that matters is your not content with it, it's confusing you in some way which should be enough to make you want to move on from him or continue on with him whilst enabling the behavior. He's showing early signs of commitment phobia, he can't commit to going out with you but he can't commit to staying away from you either...these kind of men are so annoying to me, the passive aggressive types commitment phobic types are a waste of time.

commitment isn't really on my agenda either. but I do like to be appreciated, and well...honored. he is annoying, but not because he commitment phobic (I don't know it's really a sign of that at all. I think it might have more to do with the fact that he doesn't see me as relationship material) but because he can't just behave according to what he wants. It's like he can't make up his mind. I honestly don't mind being friends with him, but that's not all he's interested in.

See, it's really clear when a man wants to be friends, but this one isn't....I hold no grudge against his opinion of me, he's been nothing but a gentleman to me. I rarely initiate the text, he's always there with it. I'll respond, but as I said before, he's just a guy i've been out with a couple of times to me. I've been out with a bunch of guys a couple of times in the last few months. I don't feel like committing to any of them, not out of phobia, out of no interest at that level.

Whatever happened to people getting to know each other this way? I find it so much better than any other "dating" i've done...which is to say, falling for 1 guy and not accepting dates since "I like him sooo much." Now...behavior likes this really just sparks my curiousity, not my pain button.

his ambiguity has you curious which is what it's supposed to do, sounds like a case of him using pick up artist methods to create this intrigue, IMO he know your waiting, no hurries on his part, if you stop answering his text messages that will most likely be the factor in opening him up, right now his PUA crap is working so he most likely doesn't feel any urgency to take it any further especially since your still responding as if your waiting. That is why I say all the time it's better to stop contact and move on as to not enable BS.