Out of Love??

My aqua partner is being very strange this past month. Its like he's gone into some kind of meltdown, but now can't get out of it. It appears on the surface that he's lost interest in me and our new baby, we can spend the day in silence and he is making zero interest to participate in anything outside of this house. If i make a suggestion to do something he's too busy..the affection and good times have gone. In my head im already out of it (the situation that is)..Libras do the detachment thing better than anyone. But there's something going on, though im not sure i even care to stay to find out what..he tells me spontaneously that he loves me more everyday, but does the opposite. Come on, the guy is almost 30 and he has n-e-v-e-r been like this with me before. I think im out of love, so out of it. How can i deal with him when he wont even talk.

Congrats on the new baby me and my aqua have one on the way and I'm kinda in the same boat as u are here...its just that I'm very US and partnership oriented where he is very EVERYONE else minded...I feel like he just goes along with the show...and that I'm in competition with his friends...and I feel like I'm just the girlfriend/wife that he has to get away from and out the house...I miss the friendship element that we had...and its making me cold...

OFA..hellooooooo!! Well, already problem solved!! We had a major fallout last night, just what we needed to clear the air..and i totally won the argument, hehehe. The thing is that he is totally obsessed with work and money-making that i think he is forgetting to enjoy his life now. I mean the baby will be all grown up before we know it and these early days will be gone forever, but he was saying that it didnt matter that he was out all day because the baby doesnt know who he is yet, and all that crap. At least he has something to think about now, i gave him plenty of things to consider.

Other things were..I spend all day on the phone..um impossible with a 2 month old baby. I watch the TV that HE bought (forgetting that i furnished the entire flat).

That since the pregnancy, he doesnt go out, get drunk, blah blah, me either. Besides, he is getting older , hahah, there's a time to get responsible, and if this isnt the time, when is??

All i want to do is spend money..Lets go to the park/beach/etc..since when was there a charge to use the local park or beach??

Making plans for himself on the weekends without saying a thing to me about it. NOT because he cant have a life of his own but for the following reason (in my particular case)..he works almost 10 or 11 hours a day during the week. I have no family here, so i am basically alone all day everyday with the baby unless i can meet my friends for a coffee or lunch or whatever..but that isnt always possible. SO, when the weekend comes, i expect (not unreasonably) that he wants to spend some time, if not altogether or with me then at least with his son. But nooooo, he wants to stay at home (its summer for Christ sake), and he watches tv or is on the internet. Last night at 11pm he announces (after i already asked him if we could do something) that he is going away allll dayyyy with his friend to film a wedding..WTF— I exploded..so has gone, and my door is LOCKED. I have also booked a 3 week trip home alone with the baby..he can use that time to think seriously about his life direction, because if its not with us..he can get to hell already. He knows he's on thin ice here, so lets just see what happens. Tonight i am going to take my son to a hotel and just relax, we deserve to trreat ourselves however we like!

Just as well i enjoy my own company, ha!

Well the answer is COMMUNICATION. Sure, we can focus on his sign and yours but at the end of it all, communication is the key. It's not a bad thing that sometimes he randomly detaches, b/c after all, that's sometimes how we Aquas deal with stress (we simply DON'T deal with it). BUT, where the problem comes in is not alerting our partners to this side of us when we become this way. Some Aquas make the mistake of not letting their partners know what to expect and what to not do when they retreat into their shells, and when their partner clings or doesn't seem to understand why this is happening, the partner unconsciously further irritates the Aqua, thus causing confusion and further detachment until the Aqua is ready to come out of the shell.

Simple. You and him need to talk. The same way you can come to an internet board and vent your feelings, things should be the same way with him.

A couple of things happen when a 1st baby comes along with dads. They can feel almost trapped if you like because their worlds have changed so much and all of a sudden they are looking after 3 people financially and also alot of the times they feel pushed aside because now their partners are totally devoted and more in love with their new little baby. I've seen it happen with my ex and also other fathers. It's just an adjustment period which they will get use to in time. Remembering that the mothers have alot to adjust too as well. It's also not the first time I've heard of guys thinking that you do nothing more than sit around watching TV and wasting time doing nothing. All you need to do to fix that problem is let him look after jnr for a full day on his own while you have some much needed time out and see how he thinks/feels when you return! 😛

Dont bail now, it's a transition period.

AWWWW SOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SOO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks a lot BigD! Havent 'spoken' to you for a lonnngggg time, hope you're happy and healthy?!!

Yup yup!!! You know its like that with us now that we can always pick up where we left off!!!