Random Thoughts

Do you think maybe the reason an Aqua is detached is because they recognize that others feel uncomfortable when they open up? I've been thinking about this for a while and I realized something from my own personal surroundings.

Generally, I like to make light of conversations/situations to make everyone feel at ease, laugh, be positive, etc. Sometimes, I test the grounds by trying to be a bit more personal with friends/family/co-workers. What I've noticed is they seem awkward responding and that's when I divert back to small talk. Maybe, it is because they are so used to me being distant and can't understand the change. I'm not sure.

I've found that it is in my nature to want to be close, nurturing, and loving towards others. Yet, I recognize I rarely express an ounce of the feelings I feel inside. It bothers me. I lack the certain people skills that come naturally for other signs. Maybe, it's because I'm thinking too much about the response rather than the intent. It would be much more fulfilling if I could express how much I care, but I don't want to come on too strong for others. Anyone else see what I am getting at?

I understand completely. It's like we're rehearsed robots most of the times. And our friends/family/partners get used to this & most of the time grow to actually admire this. BUT then once we actually get attached, out of nowwhere our REAL personality comes out & everyone either believes that we're too intellectual, too analyzing or too out of the "norm" to be accepted. Trust me, I know exactly what you are talking about.

And I think it's so easy for Aquas to jump back into that "robot" mode is b/c we ourselves don't always accept or understand the TRUE us, plus it's alot easier to gain friends & companions through the "robot" stage since it's the first thing they see in us & grow to like.

I think the solution to this problem is to show our true colors from the beginning so that there will be no suprise or rejection later on. It's very hard to do this b/c on one hand, we Aquas never feel bad for who we are & why we are the way we are until the person we need to understand us, doesn't. That's when we start wishing we weren't so out of the "norm" again. People give me the impression all the time that my Aqua personality is too unpredictable or too complex & b/c I feel the same way about myself sometimes, I'll feel myself slipping back into "robot" or "small conversation" mode again. It's like a battle between what we love about ourselves vs. what others can't handle/stand about the very same thing. But at the end of the day, even if we go into "robot" mode for someone to like us, we always end up being true to ourselves & show our true intellect & personality. It's just a matter of comfort of the self

And I think the detachment comes from us Aquas being unwilling to change who we are. Instead of changing who we are or adjusting all the time to what others only want to handle, we detach or become distant, as our way of still being true to ourselves & a good match with our friends/companions at the same time.

Detaching is an Aqua's shield that protects them from turning into something they're not or wasn't built to be. We are so set in stone & in our ways & the minute we get those ackward responses or weird looks (after showing our TRUE personalities) a part of us wants to adjust but then again, there's always a part of us that says "F them! I am who I am" & once we unconsciously say this to ourselves, we detach.

And that can explain why people don't understand us detaching at the randomest of times. But there's always the coincidence that around the same time we detach, we also probably opened up about something (mentally/physically/spiritually) around the same time.