Self Protection

Ok, ok I?m a libra, and what i?m about to confess is that, actually, i?m a dispicible bitch. I have been having my own (self-inflicted, unjustified) doubts about new bf, almost from the start, basically thanks to a shitty history wit relationships. Anyways, the other day he had left his email ope and i saw a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong letter sent the previous day from his ex....and i read it. I shouldnt have and i almost hate myself, and from what i read from it, she is is really suffering. It looks like he didnt reply to her (at least by email) but OMG, i?m in some kind of shock. She wants to be with him and she is asking him to meet her at asome point. They were together 4 years..and i also had a 7 year relationship but i have totally moved on, and did quickly. So, i?m thinking that if i received an eamil like that, i would need some time out from my current partner, maybe just for nostalgia sake, or for reflection on the past— He doesnt seem different, thats his choice. But, im feeling like i need to take a major step back.

Aparently she was very possessive and controlling and he told me before he felt like he was stuck in a prison. I dont know, the more she tried to keep him, the further away he went from her. And now we?re together. I dont know when they separated, im not really into asking personal questions...but im scared.

Im selfish, and horrible for reading what?s his, and now im trying to justify it to myself by saying its for my own self protection, that maybe i can be alert to a similar pattern with myself?? Fuck.

UGH! Quit beating yourself up, you looked at the damn note, he left it open, who cares. What matters is how you respond. This is a test for you, not him.

Just be you. Don't do anything. You can't control what happens, and if you try to, you'll probably bring about the result that you don't want anyway.

Sola, don't feel that way ok? The last thing I want u to do is to be blaming yourself for what he's putting you through. If you feel even a little doubt, then you hound him about it because if he cares about you then there should be no secrets have him bare all his baggage.