some insight on a derailed friendship?

i used to hang out with my friend pretty much every other day; we were both very busy college students but still managed to catch lunch/dinner, watch movies and give each other advice/support. best of all, rollerblading downtown 🙂 i don't think we really got sick of each other but who knows.

it just so happened that i transferred to a new college, a school i've been wanting to go to since i was like 10. it is great here. although i am far from most of my friends i am still able to keep contact with MOST of them. i just find it strange that the one of the persons i was closest to isn't even there for me anymore.

i think i noticed a change over the summer between my transfer. barely heard from the friend. when i did they kept telling me to visit them over the summer, take a train since it is a bit away. i really couldn't because of personal problems and even explained it to them. i told them that something could probably work out when we were back at our schools and not as far away. sometimes this friend would ignore my emails or keep conversations short. and trust me these messages i sent were sparsely distributed over the summer. i don't consider myself pushy.

the last time we talked i offered to buy this friend a train ticket to and from my place so we could see each other. they said they would get back to me on that. i recently tried to call this person on their birthday some days ago. didn't get an answer, which is ok, they were probably busy! sent a text too. now how hard is it to reply to that?

i am confused, kind of hurt. i can't get a hold of this person, otherwise i'd tell them how i feel. maybe there is something i am not seeing? it's hard to decide whether to try and salvage this friendship if it was ever that or just let go. hopefully this wasn't too much of an eyesore textually.

what's your sign and your friends?

Well I def. understand why you are hurt. After all, we'd all like to assume that if others are our friends in one city, things shouldn't/wouldn't change just b/c one or both people moved to another city. Look at it like this: you did what you had to do. You moved & did something that was best for you, even though possibly losing contact with a few close friends comes with the territory of transferring. That is just life. You're in a new setting now where you have the ability to make some new friends & find new people whom you can become just as close to. It does suck though what you're experiencing b/c after all, there is nothing worse than finding out who your true friends are the HARD way. It sounds like this friend just doesn't see any incentive to keep in contact with you. He/she probably doesn't see any need to talk to you anymore. After all, you aren't physically around the corner from them anymore, thus all the needs you were fulfilling in person when you lived there can no longer be met. Plus, he/she might also figure that since you've moved, it might be a little hard to get you caught up on all the old drama/gossip that's been going on since you left, thus some people would rather just NOT tell you anything vs. trying to start from the beginning. This kind of thing happens all the time. Keep on doing like you've been doing. Just continue to do you. When it's necessary, do your part & speak (on birthdays for example) BUT don't make it so that you're the only person in the friendship doing all the work either, b/c if you do then you'll just end up upset & possibly resenting everything. As the saying goes, people change so that it's easier for you to let go.