Update

I've posted here before about my Aqua guy. Here's a round-up of how things are not going!
Been together over 2 months now and things were pretty good, saw him about 3-4 times a week, he was attentive and affectionate. Now things have changed. When I first met him his past relationship history included a girlf that cheated on him, threw him out and moved her new guy in. The next girlf he had got pregnant but didn't know if it was his. So not the greatest past. He told me he loved me and that's when things started to change. He calls less (which he says is because he doesn't want to jump straight in and spoil things), we meet up less, although he has been working some pretty dodgy shifts. But saying that he still finds time to see his friends and stuff. He goes out without inviting me as much as he used to. I'm just confused now. We had an argument over the phone as I'm rapidly losing patience due to the fact that he won't talk about this change, althougth he does recognise there has been one.

I really don't know what to do for the best. I really like him and I thought we had something good, but I'm not so sure now. I'm torn between being patient and seeing how things go or just ending it now before I get really hurt.

Any advice welcome 🙂

Thanks leokitten. Am gonna see what he has to say when I meet up with him tomorrow and if I think it's going to go nowhere I'll just finish it. I think I am worth someone's time and effort, and I've played second best before - never again!! Learnt that lesson the hard way! The worst thing is, in my mind I'm already detaching even though I haven't even heard what he has to say, as this stops me worrying and continually going over everything in my mind. Not the best way to handle things, should keep more of an open mind at the moment. But I suppose if it helps me, it can't be that bad!

Thanks Sweet-P. It's just the shock of the change for me. Usually you start off cautious and more aloof and then become closer. Looks like this Aqua (and the 2 others I dated!) do it the other way round! Weird! But the other 2 aquas I dated were pretty aloof from the beginning so I wasn't that surprised when things didn't change. My aqua was great when we started seeing each other and like I've said I thought we had a good thing going. The worst part is when we talk about it (which we have done a few times) I feel like I'm nagging and it's awful! Just need some concrete answers instead of him brushing it under the carpet and saying he doesn't know why he does it! I don't want a full psycological evaluation from him of his mental state, just a reason(s) why he has become aloof all of a sudden. Hopefully I'll get that tomorrow night when I see him. Will let you know the outcome of our cosy chat 🙂

Copperhead i think maybe he is just sensing your insecurities and maybe this is why he is pulling away a little.This is nothing to do with him being an Aqua or a man, its just human nature. I don't think you have too much to worry about because i don't know of any Aqua that would stay in a relationship he or she didn't want to be in. There are no ties in this relationship ie marriage or children so i would say he's in it because he wants to be. I know its hard but try and go with the flow a little more and if things are meant to work out they will. From my experience ( i have has 3 serious relationships with Aquarius men )they don't do well with the "big talks" so try and back off a little and if he does truly love you then he will bounce back. Remember men are like rubber bands,they get close and then feel they have to pull away for a little while. Give him some space and see what happens.

But i agree with unusualcancer see the space as beneficial to yourself too.

Thanks for your advice. I know exactly what you mean about creating unnecessary drama and that's certainly something I don't want to do. I've just never encountered this pulling away before with anyone else, and since it was him who told me he loved me, a few weeks before I reciprocated, him who was more interested in seeing me, I just don't understand why he has suddenly pulled away. He has more than enough time to think things through when I'm not there but he chooses to use all that time to hang around with his friends instead. It's not the time element, it's how he's acting with me that's the problem, he's changed.

Thanks uc, will have to get my hands on that book! Am going to meet him in about half an hour, but I'm not in the mood for a big discussion so will just enjoy his company instead.
I know what you're saying about women always thinking they are right in relationships, and I sometimes find it hard to balance my needs with the other person's, but I'm getting the hang of it...a bit! Too much of that taurus stubborness in me unfortunately! Also, my last big relationship was with a pisces who would be all gushy and stuff, so I've gone to the other extreme now and it's just taking a while to re-adjust.

Copperhead i think a big rush of initial contact can be overwhelming, particularly if one has a life full of professional and personal commitments to work around, or is just emerging from a relationship that didnt work out. Patience is a virtue, it is said, and it's worth exercising if the person and the attraction are worth the wait...hang in there and good luck !!!!!

Unfortunately we've split. Probably for the best. He says he has major emotional problems that he needs to sort out on his own, so there's not much I can do really. 😢
And now he won't answer my calls about him returning my stuff which is majorly annoying! So not sure if he ever did love me or if he was just messing about. Hard to tell. After we split he kept saying that he was always going to be here for me if I needed him and now he won't even answer his phone even though I've text him saying I'm ringing purely for my stuff back.
Saw him the day after we split in a club. We kissed and then he totally freaked out and stormed off. Oh dear...!
Any tips on how to handle getting my stuff? Don't want him (wrongly) telling people I won't leave him alone when I'm only contacting him for my things. (I've rung him twice and text twice since Thursday). The last time I rang him he said he was aat work and to ring him back at a certain time, which I did and his phone was off!

he's obviously not going to return your stuff or you can have a friend stop over and pick up your stuff, DON'T ASK FOR IT back, you make yourself seem weak...say listen d*ckhead I'm coming to get my stuff, let him know the date time and to make sure you get your stuff show up an hour or so early so he won't run off lol!! Meet somewhere neutral or at his job but if its stuff you can live without, I would leave it alone and move on.

Jeesh are we Aqua's that lame? Well we do tend to have emotional issues in early/late adulthood, I stopped dating for a good 6 or 7 years to work out my emotional demons so it doesn't suprise me that he told you that he had issues...its good he would rather not deal with you in a relationship than to take you through a whole bunch of unnecessary changes, just be thankful he had enough heart to say it isn't working out. The worst thing you can deal with is an immature Aqua, he would drive you into an insane asylum.

Last time I text him (which is the second time in all) I just told him this whole situation was getting silly. I've been asking for him to contact me about a suitable time for us both foe me to get my things. A friend of mine saw him last night and he said he had my stuff ready for me. I can technically live without it, but it's my stuff and I want it back. I'm thinking of asking one of his housemates to bring it out to the club we all go to if I get no joy this week. I'm too stubborn to let him keep my things!!

Tiki33, I am glad looking back now that he isn't willing to take me with him through all his troubles. I'm pretty stable emotionally and I'd like to be with someone who is the same, not someone who I have to 'look after' in a way. I'm not too sure he ever will sort himself out sadly, he drinks too much a lot of the time and has no interest in bettering himself. I hope he does do something positive though, as he can be a nice guy (when he hasn't got my things 🙂)