Confusing Cancer guy....

Ok so here goes.....I have been friends with a guy who happens to be a cancer for roughly about a year. We ran in the same circles of friends and he always flirted with me (although I always thought of it in a jokingly way). Over the summer we got really close and he and I would cuddle a lot. The thing is I do not open myself up to guys----ever. So for me, cuddling and being slightly intimate were a big deal. He, however has had sexual relationships with girls without getting emotionally involved. I was always afraid he would turn me into one of those girls and I would be a "fling" to him, so I kept slightly distant and gave him mixed signals.

He always said to me that I wasn't just a fling to him, and that he was attracted to me, but I didn't know if he genuinely LIKED me. He remembers little things about me and even asked to meet my friends. However he never called me to hang out, it was always me who had to initiate things. We also never made things exclusive, but I never thought he would go after other girls. I THOUGHT he liked me until another one of our mutual friends (who just broke up with her boyfriend) started coming over his house every single day. She was much more aggressive than me and she was ALWAYS over, whereas I came over only sometimes. I am not one to be clingy, and I have my own life. Plus, whenever I did come over I saw her there and I felt hurt because I new something was going on between them. In fact, they were basically in a relationship, so I didn't want to be a relationship wrecker. I felt so hurt that I began ignoring him, and he always looked at me in classes but would never say anything. I FINALLY told him that I felt that it was wrong of him to lead me on. He told me "It's not like I am choosing her over you" I still don't understand what he means by that first part....I ended telling him that it was over (although in my opinion it was his decision since he left her for me). I know it hurt him that I said what I said, but they are still in a relationship....although weirdly enough he has never officially made her his "girlfriend".

He has constantly been trying to rekindle our friendship, and I know we still like each other.....but he is with that girl. He still pays me a lot of attention, and I still get that vibe that he still wants me, but if he really liked me, he would have never left me for her. How do I know if I was just a fling to him or not?

**Correction to the above statement... "He left me for her". But he will never admit that....he says that I never was "open" with him. But then again, I was scared to because I didn't want to make myself vulnerable (and good thing I never did). I know I gave him mixed signals so I do understand his doubts about us working---but what really hurt was he never admits to me that she is his girlfriend. He says to me that they are in a "semi-relationship". And that is only because she practically moved in with him weeks after they started getting intimate. Do cancers like girls who are clingy and rush into relationships?? Its not fair that my independence was taken as indifference towards him. I thought taking it slow would be good for both of us, since we've each never been in a serious relationship before. Do you think I still have a chance with him?

ha i'm in a similar situation with the cancer guy i'm "seeing"... Cancer men are strange, but I dunno if they are all the same. Mine in particular doesn't "Label" his relationships. He thinks him hanging out with a girl and sleeping with her constitutes as dating, which I guess if you wanna be technical, it kinda is, although most would call that friends with benefits or whateve...

Seems to be they take things very slow, and the best word I could use to describe em is Lighthearted. Everything is slow n not serious. The aggressive needy girls hang around em and the reserved independent ones kinda watch from the outside. I always have to make the first move with him. Sometimes he'll accept, sometimes he wont. But he'll always justify it as best he can. I just think they like being needed, but dont like being bogged down with all the emotional stuff until they decide they actually wanna keep you around. I think you def have a chance, but its kinda moreso do you have the patience to deal with that mess, cuz it sounds like the other girl isnt going anywhere soon. I think if you want something more serious sooner rather than later, it may be best to move on. U never know what'll happen down the road. They seem to love talking n connecting on a friend basis then on a sexual one and save the emotional attachment for last. Or atleast thats the one i'm dealing with. Good times tho. Cant deny that! Once u have em, they sure are lovely...

Hmmm... well it seems like he likes you and was waiting on you to make the first move (go figure) Cancer dudes. *shakes head* He went for the "easier" and safer choice with the aggresive girl because she didn't make it a secret that she like him. He obviously had a hard time reading you and was unwilling to take the chance of getting rejected by you. In MY book that would make him too much of a wuss to date but I'm not you 😛
It seems he still likes you alot and probably prefers to be with you but he's holding back because you are. I know it's a little tricky now with aggreso girl on his ass and I admire the fact that you don't want to step on her toes. But all is fair in love and war and if you want him and he wants you.... go for it.
Next time you see him ask him about the statis of his relationship with that girl. It he says he's still in a "semi relationship" with her say:
"That's too bad. I think you and I would make a good couple" Wink at him and walk away to let him chew on it. It'll make him think. LOL Just keep dropping hints without being overly agressive. Make the other girl look desperate in his eyes. If she's really aggresive I'm sure as a Cancer he'll find it flattering but a little obnoxious and over the top.
Let him know you like him.... subtly.
I think you have a good chance. I think he liked you before this girl pounced on him but he was being a chicken waiting for you to be the one to make a move.