Is my cap man out for good?

Ive been seeing a cap man for 4 mths now. We talked & we agreed to take things slow & to get to know each other but agreed on being exclusive. Hes exactly as his sign details him, its uncanny.

We both have kids from b4 & agreed that its too soon for them to meet. I def have a wallup, I want to make sure that when Im ready that we're both on the same page, I fear being vulnerable. He opened up & told me hes scared to get the boot someday & thn to start over again & figures, sadly (his words not mine), thats why hes still single.

Ive never doubted my trust for him, something about him makes me feel very secure in that regard. This past weekend, I was stressed out dealing with issues unrelated to my guy. A friend saw my cap guy out at a pub with another girl & made it sound like it wasnt innocent. I was so emotionally drained from dealing w/ things that I reacted w/o rational thought. I askd him to call me that I was upset & needed to talk to him. He text me & told me he cdnt bc he was visitng but want to know what was up - I told him & said I was wondering if he was being honest w/me. Next morning he was very mad, told me everything & it ended up it was all legit. I apologized & he said it wasnt going to work with us. He felt I was getting too serious & he wasnt ready for a relationship but in way more words & very cold. I wrote him an email - being very honest & pointed out hes the person that was makes jokes about kids & marriage. I said I hoped he cd have sometime to think abt things. He sent me a really nice, calm reply the next day but still said he wasnt ready for a relationship & was sorry for everything & hoped I understood & that I was such a great lady. I replied that I understood, wished him well & then told him about something positive that happened w/ me.

I feel hes not responsible for my happiness, thats up to me & I have to accpt what I cant control so Ill give him space & maybe he'll miss me or maybe he just really isnt wanting a relationship as he says.

Does this sound like the stereotypical cap w/ cold feet or a guy that really doesnt want a relationship? I do know he really liked me and am wondering if he just got scared.

Thank you for reading - I wanted to give more detail but not enough space to type it all so this is the condensed version

I'm a Capricorn and yes we are very cold creatures. Not that we don't care, we just bare and share the ugly side before the good side. If you can accept our coldness then we know you are someone we want in our lives. Capricorns take their time with everything and if something feels rushed, we back out. We usually tend to flock with our own kind who can keep their distance as well. What sign are you?

Im a taurus, we are both pretty reserved people. I havent been needy with him, I let him have his space and respect his privacy. I am very honest with him - we seem to be on the same page. When he is away at work I will usually let him initiate contact, sometimes I will go a few days with out calling just so he can have his space but I make sure he knows he is wanted and appreciated. We work together also so he makes up reasons to come into the office or to call. He makes just about getting me pregnant and about when he marries me. I dont usually respond with words - I just give him a playful funny look. All in all we are good together but he is extremely busy aside from work with building his house and he has family visiting from out of country for 7 weeks. I dont push him to spend time together but I make sure to show interest in spending time together. I am a very cautious person and I didnt want to scare him away - I enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him better. He has a really good heart and is honestly a good person - I have no issue with our limited time and I have told him but he said its not fair to me and he didnt want to hurt me. Our little time together was better than nothing at all.

*And on a side note, he is a very private person as am I - I told him I didnt want to make it public at work and he agreed - I have never been introduced to his family as it was too soon but then last night I walked down to the beach near my house and his sister (I only new it was his sister bc a friend new of her) was there and she and the rest of the group they were with couldnt take their eyes off me. I mean my daughter and her friends even commented to me and they had no idea who the people were. I just told my daughters that I didnt notice anyone starring. Just odd but maybe he did tell them about me - I know they are pretty close.

What exactly are you looking for in this mathematical certainty? Would you care to know where to go from here, or if you should even recognize a broken heart? As a Cap, we can be very ruthless and seemingly distant. It's just in our blood. Do you want him to fall before you and take you back? Or just know if he ever really gave a damn? Tell me exactly what you are looking for in this equation and I can guarantee you with an honest answer.

By the way, we also have sharp tongues. It may not mean much to you coming from a female capricorn but trust me, we are ruled and governed under the planet Saturn which is a masculine planet. Even us feminine females have a knack in class for understanding the male mind. And in my case, I've been around brothers and guys my entire life. No sisters or many gfs for that matter. I understand guys better then they understand themselves at times. lol

I thought I knew, I guess Im just looking for some sort of clarity - this doesnt make any sense to me - I am a pretty logical thinker but when he took the first opportunity to bail based on a small issue which he apologized for and told me that he would have reacted the same way and he apologized for putting me in that position. Things seemed to be going so well on both sides, I mean he couldnt have had it better with another person, he knew he was wanted and appreciated, I was patient with him, never pressured him and only one time I asked him about his whereabouts and who he was with. I felt a real connection with him and I know that he genuinely likes me, we still have alot to learn about each other and I really dont want it to end obviously.

This was what he emailed to me - in camp he cant always phone so we rely on email when necessary:

"So I have been thinking a lot about everything and the way you reacted I agree was totally normal, anyone including myself would have been just as concerned and upset about the way things looked.
And I'm sorry for putting you in that position. Its not fair at all to expect someone to wait around for me to see if or if I don't have time to hang out. I have a lot of stuff going on with my house and spending as much time as i can with (son), and then if I get a call to hang out with visiting friends I just want to do that without worrying about hurting someone (you), and that is so not fair to you. I think you are such a great woman but I'm not at a point where I want a relationship.
Again I'm sorry for everything and I hope you understand "

*end*

but then he has joked about the future - so I get confused with the mixed signals but his msg says clearly that he just wnts to be single - I know him well enough to know there is only me and he isnt moving onto someone else - so yeah let me have it 😄 - what is your take on it (btw I do appreciate your responses)

Posted by CapricornSun
By the way, we also have sharp tongues. It may not mean much to you coming from a female capricorn but trust me, we are ruled and governed under the planet Saturn which is a masculine planet. Even us feminine females have a knack in class for understanding the male mind. And in my case, I've been around brothers and guys my entire life. No sisters or many gfs for that matter. I understand guys better then they understand themselves at times. lol

no worries there I grew up with 10 older brothers and my cap guy def has a sharp tongue when he's upset but I am able to deal with him but just recognizing not to react to him and letting him have time to cool down, next thing you know he is back to being very polite and sweet again. Patience is def a virtue with him!

Ah yes we Caps ain't we gems? I mean you don't get much fonder then this sign of the astrology. We are about the shrewdest of the shrewd and the sweetest of the honeysuckles. But anyway to your point of inquiry on where this feller stands, I doubt it has much to do with astrology as it does to his personal style of living. To me it sounds like he wants to be a free man and he is one who cannot handle having a relationship and answering to it, as than having a friend/lover. Some guys think it is a hassle and stress to do both, and he may be one of those thinkers. There are some of us who truly understand to have any kind of relationship there really should not be any effort involved. People who say love takes patience and virtue and overall it is a chore you have to task everyday. Bullshit. A realtio is no different then having a friendship except this person is suppose to be your best friend. With that being said, when someone truly connects with another, everything else just falls into place. What's wrong with him bringing you to his house and introducing you to his family and friends? Is he ashamed? Whats wrong with him picking up the phone once in awhile to see how the heck you are doing if he cares about you? Whats wrong with HIM? I don't know your end of the aspect and what you expect out of this situation with this man, but he clearly has it set in his mind that YOU are work. With all his other projects going and what not he feels he has no time to work with you. I call that piece of whatever he is a lazy ass munch who cannot determine his head from his a-hole. Guys who give excuses don't know what the hell they want. It really isn't a capricorn thing at all, because in the stars we are truly talented and respectable to others who are important to us. I don't think this guy is respecting you at all really. You keep giving him the dang patience but when is he ever handing out greeting cards to you? You shouldn't have to wait for no dumb @ $ $ man. If he gives two licks, he will want to be your friend, period. IMO and from what I gather, he has no time to make for anyone else cuz the butt for brains can't decide what shoe lace color will go with his goatee for the day. You want my advice on what he has done? Played a game. Yes we are very good at it and we do it for fun sometimes. Why? Because we can and we want to see what we can get away with. He probably thinks in his pea mind that you are just waiting patiently as ever for him....

And you will come running back to him because you can't live without him. Pish! What a tool. Don't take that junk and don't make him feel like he has won you over. Make the turk pay for his dinner, you know what I mean? In Capricorn land we are rulers when it comes to mind games. We do it ever so well and so cleverly, but we usually put it on people that we think it is fun and easy to do it on. Another words, we really don't care about the victim in the game. When we keep getting our way with them, we keep at it because we know we are winning score. When someone breaks us, we falter down a peg and have to rethink our mission to get back in the lead or totally back out. I don't know why it is that way, but it has always been part of us. We all do it. I think its a form of mind control. We are not trying to control anyone, we just want everyone to think as smart as we do. And if they cannot prevail then we either get bored or we torture them in another way. By torture I don't mean being brutally mean. We are no such creatures, but we do play with our victims and demand them to be as up on the charts as we think we are. Sometimes we get so ahead of ourselves, we forget that you all have actual feelings attached. Being the cold ruler planet, that is the emotionless segment attached that justifies nothing other then our big egos. What to do with this man? Do you want my input how to handle his game or do you want to tell him to fly a kite? Granted sweetie, he isn't coming back the way you want him too. Don't expect him too, he made up his mind and there won't be any changing it anytime soon. Vile creatures at times, yes we are.

Posted by Metoo
Wow, I am looking at the above as a cap female.....I am trying to figure out if I do these things....very intriguing, I want to know more about us caps.

To the OP, I do think he liked you, I do think he meant the nice things he said...BUT he was never yours. He was test driving the relationship. More importantly whether you realize it or not, he has watched your every move, listened and stored every word from your mouth, and has been weighing it privately. We are notorious for "testing" and thogh he didnt set up the test of you finding he was with another female, you still failed the test because he now sees he cant meet up with female friends without being questioned on or the reason for his wherabouts.

He would ultimately probably want to settle down but not now. No way. And I wouldnt so much as email, call, text, nothing.
Be friendly but distant if he comes in to the office. Just detach mentally, you didnt waste too much time on him, and I always say, think of it as he lost YOU, not you lost him. Cap men are sooooo tough and it probably isnt worth your mental energy.

Well said, metoo, well said.

Posted by Metoo
Capricorn sun, same to YOU still blown away by your cap assesment. 🙂

Sometimes I ask myself, what am I on? I was about to type that last night and quote my own stuff saying- "we also have a billion jumbled up thoughts that come out in disasters such as this." lmao! I'm glad you understood it. Or did you? 🙂 I'm very expressive and use a thousand words for a simple statement. I'm yet to learn to word things with very few words but getting a big meaning out. Mastering of that still in action! 😄

Posted by CapricornSun
And you will come running back to him because you can't live without him. Pish! What a tool. Don't take that junk and don't make him feel like he has won you over. Make the turk pay for his dinner, you know what I mean? In Capricorn land we are rulers when it comes to mind games. We do it ever so well and so cleverly, but we usually put it on people that we think it is fun and easy to do it on. Another words, we really don't care about the victim in the game. When we keep getting our way with them, we keep at it because we know we are winning score. When someone breaks us, we falter down a peg and have to rethink our mission to get back in the lead or totally back out. I don't know why it is that way, but it has always been part of us. We all do it. I think its a form of mind control. We are not trying to control anyone, we just want everyone to think as smart as we do. And if they cannot prevail then we either get bored or we torture them in another way. By torture I don't mean being brutally mean. We are no such creatures, but we do play with our victims and demand them to be as up on the charts as we think we are. Sometimes we get so ahead of ourselves, we forget that you all have actual feelings attached. Being the cold ruler planet, that is the emotionless segment attached that justifies nothing other then our big egos. What to do with this man? Do you want my input how to handle his game or do you want to tell him to fly a kite? Granted sweetie, he isn't coming back the way you want him too. Don't expect him too, he made up his mind and there won't be any changing it anytime soon. Vile creatures at times, yes we are.

Whoa! - I do really appreciate your input but at the same time caring and feeling something for someone doesnt make me a tool. I can live without him but I will be the first to admit that it was a bit of a shock - I have read about caps getting close to someone and pulling back but I still didnt expect this. It wasnt the first time he had been seen out with a female friend but it was the first time I had mentioned it. I could tell at times that he was testing me, he would talk about exes or tell me who was hot in movies or TV - I would just listen or if it was an actress that I thought was pretty I would reciprocate. I dont feel the need to get all worked up and be jealous, its not in me - if a mans going to stray then he will d

Posted by CapricornSun
And you will come running back to him because you can't live without him. Pish! What a tool. Don't take that junk and don't make him feel like he has won you over. Make the turk pay for his dinner, you know what I mean? In Capricorn land we are rulers when it comes to mind games. We do it ever so well and so cleverly, but we usually put it on people that we think it is fun and easy to do it on. Another words, we really don't care about the victim in the game. When we keep getting our way with them, we keep at it because we know we are winning score. When someone breaks us, we falter down a peg and have to rethink our mission to get back in the lead or totally back out. I don't know why it is that way, but it has always been part of us. We all do it. I think its a form of mind control. We are not trying to control anyone, we just want everyone to think as smart as we do. And if they cannot prevail then we either get bored or we torture them in another way. By torture I don't mean being brutally mean. We are no such creatures, but we do play with our victims and demand them to be as up on the charts as we think we are. Sometimes we get so ahead of ourselves, we forget that you all have actual feelings attached. Being the cold ruler planet, that is the emotionless segment attached that justifies nothing other then our big egos. What to do with this man? Do you want my input how to handle his game or do you want to tell him to fly a kite? Granted sweetie, he isn't coming back the way you want him too. Don't expect him too, he made up his mind and there won't be any changing it anytime soon. Vile creatures at times, yes we are.

Whoa! - I do really appreciate your input but at the same time caring and feeling something for someone doesnt make me a tool. I can live without him but I will be the first to admit that it was a bit of a shock - I have read about caps getting close to someone and pulling back but I still didnt expect this. It wasnt the first time he had been seen out with a female friend but it was the first time I had mentioned it. I could tell at times that he was testing me, he would talk about exes or tell me who was hot in movies or TV - I would just listen or if it was an actress that I thought was pretty I would reciprocate. I dont feel the need to get all worked up and be jealous, its not in me - if a mans going to stray then he will d

I did not call you a tool love, I was referring to him as one. lol 😉

Oh yes, I shall add, this is where we become confusing. Like my phrase of calling the dude a tool, which you interpreted as me calling you one. We talk in riddles sometimes too. I don't know any capricorns who don't. I've been asked to explain myself better at times and I've asked other caps to do so as well. We talk up a storm and are bold in saying what we think or feel, but look at our counterparts at times as wondering why you don't reciprocate what we just said. lol It's all good, I'm used to it. Just misunderstanding is all. Hope that helped.

Posted by Metoo

Posted by CapricornSun

Posted by Metoo
Capricorn sun, same to YOU still blown away by your cap assesment. 🙂

Sometimes I ask myself, what am I on? I was about to type that last night and quote my own stuff saying- "we also have a billion jumbled up thoughts that come out in disasters such as this." lmao! I'm glad you understood it. Or did you? 🙂 I'm very expressive and use a thousand words for a simple statement. I'm yet to learn to word things with very few words but getting a big meaning out. Mastering of that still in action! 😄

I have a similiar issue, I can NOT get the thought out in a few simple clear sentences and make it impactful or feel it has all the meaning I wanted to get out. Its simple in my mind, but spelling it out, well, the thought takes 3 paragraphs! Hahahah! Bt YES! I got your meaning! totally understood your synopsis, loved it!

click to expand

lol ty ty dear..cap minds are complex! 🙂