my capricorn best friend

Hey everyone!

I need your help.
On October 2012 I met a guy in college. I felt we had a really nice connection and he was very nice to talk to and really soon we became buddies. A year passes and I consider the guy a close friend. Fully knowing that he might not feel the same(because he didn't reveal his feelings). October 2013 a mutual decision between me and the college is made and I leave because of academic reasons. me and the friend keep in touch. A few months later I feel I'm the one putting all the effort in maintaining our friendship. I make all the calls, I send all the texts I make sure we see each other. today, october 2014 - I haven't seen the guy since May and talked on the phone with him only once in july. We have been staying in contact via whatsapp.

I don't know what to do to strengthen our friendship. We talked about this and he said he is very busy and that when he studies he shuts everyone out. when he does answer on Whatsapp it's usually a one-liner and also in the middle of the night when I'm asleep. I told him I'll always be there for him and that I consider him a brother I just don't know what he feels. Should I take a step back? I just have this annoying thought that if I stop all contact I'm not going to hear from him again.

For the record I'm not being clingy at all. I message at best once in 4-5 days and I'm not a phone guy so we don't talk on the phone. Usually when I do call after months of not hearing his voice he doesn't answer. I don't try more than twice.he also doesn't talk to me he never shared anything about himself I always have to inquire...

I'd love to have your advice on this, what should I do to make our friendship last?

I.love virgos are u gay or is it just platonic?

I am the worse about keeping in touch. I hardly ever contact people, but I love it when they contact me. Honestly, I just don't think about it. I get all involved with life and the moment that I don't even consider contacting someone. If I do, it's off hours like 6 a.m. or work hours or past their bedtime. I will comment on their social media posts, though or chat with them on Facebook. I suppose I'm a lazy friend.

I suppose it's about proximity.

Funny thing about a cap, if you were once in my inner circle, you always will be. Time can pass and I still think of you as I always have. When we are together, it will be like no time has passed at all. Years can go by and I still consider you a close friend. I think most capricorns are like this. Once you've earned my trust and loyalty, you'll always have it unless you do something drastic to mess it up, like betray me.

If you're truly just friends, you always will be.

If what you had with your friend was more of a flirtation or if you had romantic experiences, etc. then the case of always being friends is less because I am loyal to my significant other and won't be as keen on keeping in touch to past lovers out of respect for my current SO. It's not that I wouldn't still consider an ex a friend, it's just I don't want my SO to have any doubts about my commitment.

Hope this helps.

To put things in perspective I'm not gay. It's purely friendship. I just don't have many people in my life I can truly trust. I have many acquaintances but only a handful have earned MY trust to be called a close friend.
So no, we're purely friends. So truecap, what you say is that even if I sent messages and he didn't answer it's not because he doesn't want to but simply because he is involved in something else at the moment? (sometimes he would answer after a few days or not answer at all, or answer the last message if my messages stack up after a few days)

Yes, that is a possibility.

so, what behaviour would he consider good friendship from me? I don't want to stop talking to him but I don't want to stack messages to him too. I guess I can find flaws instead of looking at myself and say the truth: I'm a bit lacking in my self-confidence and I kind of fear I would lose him as a result of me not understanding his behaviour at times...I only have 3 friends in life including him that I can talk to about anything in the world. I'm a bit shy and sometimes I remember being jealous because in college we had another class mate which he would always laugh with and they would laugh at each other and make fun of everything and when he would talk to me he would be very perceptive and serious..I don't know...Maybe I'm overthinking it.

yes, well I also understand WHY he wouldn't answer me. I understand he's very busy with his studies and that his success is very important to him. As a capricorn he also works and studies during the semester. I believe it's the proximity issue. I moved into a different city which is farther than his home town and our last college. We never even talked about him visiting me in the new house because I know that even driving with the car is like 30 minutes ride and I don't want to trouble him. I just get anxious and start thinking what did I do if a day passes and I still left hanging. I'm not clingy in the way that I wait for an instant answer and when I don't get one I send another message and another and etc..
But when substantial amount of time passes by I get "worried"..

Posted by CluelessCancer


Sad. get your confidence up.

Easier said than done but I am trying.

Posted by virgoman26
yes, well I also understand WHY he wouldn't answer me. I understand he's very busy with his studies and that his success is very important to him. As a capricorn he also works and studies during the semester. I believe it's the proximity issue. I moved into a different city which is farther than his home town and our last college. We never even talked about him visiting me in the new house because I know that even driving with the car is like 30 minutes ride and I don't want to trouble him. I just get anxious and start thinking what did I do if a day passes and I still left hanging. I'm not clingy in the way that I wait for an instant answer and when I don't get one I send another message and another and etc..
But when substantial amount of time passes by I get "worried"..

Don't send message after message after message. Once a week (or month) is more than enough. I think the distance is going to affect it. My best friend in high school and several friends in college are still considered close friends. Some I haven't talked to in years (5-10-20 even). Like I said, I tend to only contact and keep in touch with people in my proximity.

So, stop trying so hard. It sucks, but try to make new friends.

I'm confused I never seen a man worry about another male friend keeping in touch. Yall are not in a relationship go make a new friend to hang out with it's hard but you will click with someone. He is probably thinking you acting like a girl to be honest with you. I read this story and thought you were one. I had a cap ex and he would go ghost on his childhood friends all the time that's just how they are they are workaholics. They only keep in touch with their gfs the only time they are clingy.

But yeah dude chill he's living and so should you.

Posted by exxtasyx
I would have thought you were a Leo or a Sagittarius to be sending so many messages like this lol. It's so hard for a Leo or a Sagittarius to get the hint, but eventually they do.

Anyway, to be completely honest, I just don't think he cares for the friendship anymore. He's over it. He's going into a new phase in his life and he probably wants to start new. I'm sure we've all avoided past friends or people from our past before, not because we don't like them anymore, we just feel it's "done" or maybe we're just not the same people anymore.

I also kind of think that when you moved or went to a different college, he just thought "OK, well, this is the end." I don't think he expected or wanted to remain friends in a long-distance situation, especially not with so much going on in his life and his studies.

I've already confirmed that this is not the issue. We met several times after I transferred to a different college and we continued to keep in touch. I'm simply being annoying about it.
It's a tough time for both of us and especially him because he failed a course and got a set-back that he needs to fix. I've also omitted that I already told him even before I left that I consider him a brother and that I'm really grateful to have him in my life. He was pleased to hear it.

I decided that no matter what I will not get angry and frustrated about it and I'll just be there when he's ready to talk again. Even if it will take time I'll just enjoy what I can get it's not like I'm his SO or something and I can feel the void with other things in the meantime(I'm also studying).

Thank you for all your replies I was just nervous a bit sometimes I'm like that.