A bit of a long story, reserving two posts...

First things first, I am a Cancer myself (born on June 26), and I have been dating another Cancer (born on July 21st). We are both gay males, but I am more feminine and he is more masculine (so I guess we balance the relationship in some way). We've been dating since early September, so it's been nearly 2 months, and things have been up & down since.

I had never dated a Cancer before so I was eager to find more about him. Things were great in the beginning, the communication between us was fluid, and things were going at a pace that we were both comfortable with. Within the first month we spent a lot of time together, mostly at his house since he seemed more comfortable there, but we occasionally went out to eat, shopping at a mall, drank at a few bars, etc. From the get go he was always more open about telling me about himself than I was at telling him about myself, so I grew to understand who he was and I appreciated that. He didn't know much about me, but never really forced me to dish any details, but I wasn't exactly closed off.

A week or so after the first month, he started to get a little aggressive. He would become irritable, demand attention from me, criticize the way I did things and expected me to act a certain way in his home and in public, etc. This was an issue for me because I am known to have manners, carry myself well, and generally be well-behaved in a friend's home, so every time he'd criticize me I'd become defensive and reject what he was saying.

One day the criticizing and attention demanding was too much for me, so I left his house in the middle of an argument and I walked home (which was an hour and a half away). He didn't come after me, so I shut my phone off and continued the whole way home. We didn't speak for a few days, then I decided to visit his apartment to apologize for leaving the way I did. He didn't answer the door or any of my calls, so I left feeling hurt and rejected. The next day he responded and arranged to pick me up so we could talk. The whole time we talked he went on about how I don't respect what he tells me, and that dating someone so sensitive wasn't what he wanted. I wanted to just get out the car but I took the criticism and stayed with him a few days...

During those few days things were great... We talked a lot about what we both wanted in our relationship, flirted with each other a lot, and went out and had fun together (along with his roommate). Once all of that was done my sister came and picked me up from his home, and I continued on with what I was doing in my own life. A couple days later we had a text conversation while he was at work, pretty much he was asking me to tell him more about my childhood and what kept me so different from how he was. We agreed we'd talk about it either on the phone or in person. I knew it was time for me to tell him more details about myself...

So towards the end of that week, I started to become a bit stressed. I wasn't used to talking so much about myself but I knew it had to be done. Around the same time my mother had called and informed me that my insurance wasn't going to continue covering me after January came and that she couldn't find my social security card. With all of those worries together, I couldn't control myself and ended up texting him what was going on, hoping that he'd hear me out and help me fix my situation. It turned out that he was already dealing with new training and end-of-the-month job stresses. However, he decided to find out if his doctor was accepting new patients and suggested I went to the library to print out a SS card application. His office wasn't responding to his calls and the woman I spoke with over the phone about the library card told me I wasn't able to get one at the moment, so my worried state of mind only increased, and I let him know this.

He ended up calling me almost an hour after the last text I sent to him, telling me off saying that I should've listened to him when he told me about my insurance issue before, and that I should be more responsible with my important documents, which was true... I felt so useless to him, and at that moment I knew I should've listened to him more and not been so defensive. I guess I wanted him to be more careful with his words instead of being so aggressive...

That conversation was on last Thursday. I sent him a few texts over the weekend, thanking him for his help and apologizing for being so stressed and crazy, but he hasn't responded to any. I even noticed he removed me from his Instagram feed. I know he most likely needs time to himself to gather his mind and think things over, and I understand that because I'm been the same way, but should I be worried that he is done with me?

Thank you for responding, aurora... Honestly, I both am and am not bothered by his aggressive nature. I feel like I need some more structure in my life and someone to really push me into bettering myself, and I'm sure he probably sees that about me and emphasizes it so much. But at the same time, I also like my independence and have been accustomed to growing up on my own and doing my own thing. He's not a violent person at all, so maybe I've just been so concentrated on refusing change that I haven't noticed that this is his way of showing he cares about me...

But as much as I care for him, I really don't want to be the one to have to contact him again. I'm slowly becoming more vulnerable to him, and of course that scares me a bit, and I don't want to seem like I don't care about myself that I'm willing to always plead for him to come back to me. I know I'm a much stronger person than that, and I do have self-respect for myself... I'm just fearful that if I do give in to his suggestions for my own changes that I won't be able to stay myself and retain my independence.

Not to sound negative sweet but step away frm this ,this all come off unheathy. There's too much emotions here . U only new him for months and I would have thought yaw was a marryed couple in a bad way. Wat yr was he born and hour cause he could be a gemini. Although my bday the same as his. I'm 2 hours in cancer on the change over day.

He comes off agressive,dramactic and just over doing it. U seem very sensative and not putting him in his place. He have control of this relationship by critizing what u do. I would in it. Sorry. I just don't see u happy with this person